Kaitlyn Bristowe - Bachelorette 11 - #5 - Discussion

Norcalgal wrote:A relationship requires compromise and if Shawn forgot their said anniversary but showered Kaitlyn with love on every other day, it's good, IMO. A relationship also requires forgiveness as none of us are perfect. If you feel loved and mutual investment in common goals, then it is easy to overlook a missed moment that is important to at least one of the couple.

I think the hard work part of a relationship is the work each partner needs to put into self improvement to make the bond stronger. That fits with what you wrote - choosing to be a little more forgiving, deciding to compromise because it benefits the coupling, being self aware of what pushes your partner’s buttons and making an effort to ease up...
It takes hard work to meld and we only control our own behavior with the payoff being (hopefully) harmony by choice.
That being said, people only encounter a few good fits as life partners. It’s trial&error until it works; when the match up survives all the little things and keeps them from becoming a blob of discord.  JMO

Kashathediva wrote:My issue with taking sides of one or the other is those viewing from the outside only see what goes on from the outside.

And from what I'm seeing, most of those "outside" bits are coming from Kaitlyn.

It takes two to tango. They each have their issues. In the end, they are both responsible for what resulted. I was never particularly a fan of either of them, so I guess it is easier for me to see both sides.

It will be interesting to see how they proceed from here on out. IMO that will be telling.

@umngirl you are absolutely right. They definitely talked about it last year on her podcast and both laughed about it and it wasn't a big deal. HOWEVER, now everything they say become a story on media/magazines. Kaitlyn recorded the podcast with wells before her break up and they were talking about anniversaries and which date to celebrate, it wasn't supposed to be what media turned it into. It only became story because the podcast aired few days after the break up and i'm 100% sure it wasn't anyones interest to make shawn look bad because they literally talked about this in 2017 and explained it. Its just such an unfortunate timing and kaitlyn mentioned so many good things about shawn, of course they don't make it on the media.

Shawn forgetting their anniversary in 2017 is completely blown out of proportion.  If you want to hear the story in their own words, here it is.  Shawn was VERY upset with himself and Kaitlyn was laughing about it.  He didn't forget in 2018 and actually flew to Canada to be with her that day.  

Starts around the 49:00 mark:
https://www.podcastone.com/episode/Shawn-Booth-II

That being said, only one of them was fully in the relationship and desperately wanted marriage/babies.  *IMO* The other one took the proposal back less than a year into the relationship, recently said their relationship was nothing more than two people having fun and enjoying each other's company, and continued to allow their partner to believe marriage/babies were a possibility.  I don't give a rip if Shawn was upset with her drinking, sharing too much on SM, etc.  Be a friggen man, grow some balls, and breakup with the woman if you can't stand her anymore.  

And lastly, when I look at their business adventures and who was more supportive of who - Kaitlyn wins hands down. *IMO*  It's not even a contest IMO.  Up until the last few months, that girl worked hard to make his dreams come true AND fought for their relationship. *imo*

And of course you won't hear anything from Shawn.  He's an unemotional, workaholic, commitment phobe who can't communicate, runs from conflict, and shuts down when things get tough.  Yep, he's a prize. Not. *IMO*

Sorry for the double post.  But this is the article I was referring to above:
https://people.com/tv/shawn-booth-talks-relationship-secrets-kaitlyn-bristowe/

This was from Aug 2018, but it might as well have been 3 years ago right after they got engaged because everything he said is the same:  we like to have a lot of fun, we don't take ourselves too seriously, we take things day by day, etc.  
There's nothing there that even hints at any serious commitment or long-term planning from his end even though he knew Kaitlyn was crying out for more.  *IMO*
So again, be man, have a heart, and just dump her if you're not fully in it.  Don't let her cling to every little itty bitty thing you might say or do that could give her false hope.  (And yes, I know Kait could have taken her future into her own hands sooner, but I think she sacrificed and invested a lot into this relationship which it makes it harder to let go - esp at 33 years of age when starting over has to be really scary.  And if you listen to their podcasts, there's plenty of manipulative stuff he said that would confuse most women.) *imo*

Again, not being intimately involved, anything can be surmised and without knowing the nitty gritty, that’s about as far as it can get.
Again, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.
I think after 3.5 yrs any party in this situation would have equal share of “shame” regarding being fooled. Jmoaa

Why would Shawn break up any earlier than he wanted to. To me he was quite happy and in love right from the beginning. How would he know three years later, the relationship was not going to be what it was in the beginning?  That's like saying to someone you just started dating, if you don't want to get married, I'm not dating you.

I think he truly loved her. To me it's not a waste of time, it's the process of dating and getting to know each other. Maybe he had every intention of getting married in the beginning, but as time went on, there were issues, maybe they were trying to work out their differences. That takes time, three years later (? ) people come to the realization that's not what they want. I don't blame him if in fact he kept stalling because he wasn't sure. I believe you learn whatever life's path takes you.

Frankly, I don't see anything unusual in the progression of Shawn and Kaitlyn relationship from a real world point of view. Stuff like this happens in some relationships. I think the expectations from the birds eye view from those in Bachelornation is unrealistic. Whatever happens with these two, I wish them happiness together or apart. It's their lives and perhaps they've done what works for them.

Sometimes all it take is a step back from any presumption. Seems to me that Kaitlyn is an outspoken person (IMO, can't imagined her having difficulty in saying what she wants or expressing her feelings to Shawn) You know what? Who knows what's going on besides these two.
Overall, if there are issues, is marriage going to resolve them?

Well breaking up is not that bad at all. From the timeline of their relationship they took advantage the fame that they have.They showcase their long engagement , they used their popularity to start their new businesses and they are just started . And yup, Kaitlyn upcoming new wine label is coming up soon. So yeah more drinking folks in the future . I do think they just realized they want something for themselves , aside from having personal issues. Sometimes it’s hard to do that. So I am guessing since they are dealing with tying the knot issue here and more it is just added the things they want for themselves. Anyway, they seem happy about their respective life now and doing their own stuff and new adventure. I do think as much that breaking up sucks, it is for the best to both of them . Jmo.

Is it just me or is Shawn's post-breakup IG post all kinds of strange?

I think in a way it just illustrates perfectly what went wrong that last year of their relationship. It's all about him.

As my sil would say, “what in the actual what??” He’s so strange, cold, emotionless and distant, not to even scratch the surface of self obsessed with his I’s and me’s and my’s.