Re: Bachelorette 14 - Becca Kufrin - Episode 4 - June 18th - *Sleuthing Spoilers*

by SFoster Tue Jun 19, 2018 2:58 pm

Did Becca respect the privacy of her ex Ross on Arie's season? I didn't watch most of Arie's season, so I didn't see her early dates with him. But Ross came on the show at the end (which I didn't see either). It seems like perhaps the ex's don't really mind, laugh out loud

!

by Kels0012 Tue Jun 19, 2018 3:00 pm

BachIsMyGuiltyPleasure wrote:@Kels0012 I’m on the same page as you... I decided not to out my ex’s abuse on SM or beyond my family and closest of friends... but absolutely wanted my potential future partners to know that I took marriage seriously and it was a very serious step over the line that made me walk out. So of course I told them (I’m too private to be on TV so don’t know what I would have done.) My reputation definitely suffered and I heard horrendous judgemental comments by not speaking out. In our society, perpetrators aren’t given the luxury of privacy so I really hope abuse claims aren’t thrown around lightly. But if true, my sympathies are with the victim. Garrett was in a tricky position...how does he communicate the seriousness of his claims so Becca wasn’t any more “scared” of his past (her words) than she already was?

It's a lose-lose situation. I try and remember that the conversation is so heavily edited too that for all we know he took responsibility for part of the demise of the marriage, but it didn't make air. However, most of the general public think what they are watching isn't heavily manipulated so they more than likely believe exactly what was shown onscreen. That is what is so scary about relying on producers. They get to shape not only the contestants "character" and likability on the show, but also loved ones/exes, etc. who didn't choose to participate in the process.

by Kels0012 Tue Jun 19, 2018 3:02 pm

SFoster wrote:Did Becca respect the privacy of her ex Ross on Arie's season? I didn't watch most of Arie's season, so I didn't see her early dates with him. But Ross came on the show at the end (which I didn't see either). It seems like perhaps the ex's don't really mind, !

I view this situation I bit differently because Ross CHOSE to come on the show, so he is fair game in my book. It's different for those who want no part of Bachelor Nation or publicity in general. IMO.

by SFoster Tue Jun 19, 2018 3:08 pm

Kels0012 wrote:
SFoster wrote:Did Becca respect the privacy of her ex Ross on Arie's season? I didn't watch most of Arie's season, so I didn't see her early dates with him. But Ross came on the show at the end (which I didn't see either). It seems like perhaps the ex's don't really mind, !

I view this situation I bit differently because Ross CHOSE to come on the show, so he is fair game in my book. It's different for those who want no part of Bachelor Nation or publicity in general. IMO.

How do you know Kayla wants no part of it? Maybe she likes the attention. I believe she has remarried, I think I read that.

Didn't Becca talk about Ross before he came on the show? How did she know he was okay with it and coming on the show later?

by Kashathediva Tue Jun 19, 2018 3:08 pm

Kels0012 wrote:I respect if she stays private, but understand if she wants to speak out as this could affect her reputation. It surprises me how open people are nowadays. I'm not super old (mid-thirties) and have social media accounts, but try to curate what I say and do.

I belong to a Moms Facebook community group in my area where fellow moms solicit advice. One mom asked for a custody lawyer because her son's father/her boyfriend cheated on her with her best friend. She wants prime custody of the child. She and a couple of her acquaintances continue to bash the boyfriend and the girl he cheated with in the thread, talking about his past behavior and calling them out by name. Why I certainly don't condone his behavior, I don't get airing your extremely private and personal situation with literally thousands of Internet strangers. Not only can this be used in court to make YOU look bad (not the other way around as you are bashing the dude on a public website), but it is so awkward for all who read it.

Sad thing is is that this is so commonplace anymore. I know the show makes contestants talk about it, but I respect those who use more decorum, like Jordan Rodgers did about his brother and unlike people like Amanda. If you make it to the fantasy suites for private time, use that time to air your dirty laundry.

I mean if you're spilling your guts about an ex on TV without regard for their lack of ability to respond, you would most likely do the same thing is you're the winner and then eventually broke up with the 'Ette/Bach so not sure why the lead appreciates those who call out others. I get it is "getting to know each other and "being honest" but there is a time and place, such as when alone without cameras and an audience of millions.

ITA

by Kels0012 Tue Jun 19, 2018 3:11 pm

SFoster wrote:
Kels0012 wrote:
SFoster wrote:Did Becca respect the privacy of her ex Ross on Arie's season? I didn't watch most of Arie's season, so I didn't see her early dates with him. But Ross came on the show at the end (which I didn't see either). It seems like perhaps the ex's don't really mind, !

I view this situation I bit differently because Ross CHOSE to come on the show, so he is fair game in my book. It's different for those who want no part of Bachelor Nation or publicity in general. IMO.

How do you know Kayla wants no part of it? Maybe she likes the attention. I believe she has remarried, I think I read that.

Didn't Becca talk about Ross before he came on the show? How did she know he was okay with it and coming on the show later?

We don't know if she is okay with it because she hasn't spoken out yet. Maybe she is, maybe she isn't. I was just writing a blanket statement regarding ALL contestants and their exes/families, not just Garrett.

by SFoster Tue Jun 19, 2018 3:18 pm

If Garrett is telling the truth about his ex putting a wedge between him and his family, why would that be? Maybe she couldn't stand his family? Why? Well.... pure speculation here but maybe they are further right than he is and well, I would run too! But again, why didn't she know learn that in the 2 and half years they were together? It's crazy that they had issues for that long and still got married?! Unless her friends are correct in saying he changed after they got married. IMO his side seems sketchier than hers. I wish she would speak out and stop letting her "friends" do all the talking. laugh out loud

(I'm nosy.)

by BachIsMyGuiltyPleasure Tue Jun 19, 2018 3:23 pm

@Kels0012 totally agree.... there is certainly evidence to suggest Garrett was a bit niave and ignorant of these things going into the show so IMO probably didn’t appreciate that he has zero control over the narrative and the consequences.

by pavalygurl Tue Jun 19, 2018 3:37 pm

My take on last night's episode, all IMHO:
Garrett--Becca really is so taken in by him. I'm seeing red flags falling everywhere but she is not or is choosing to ignore them. His face and words did not match when introduced to the lesbian couple. He is so OTT in his enthusiasm to the activities. The adrenaline date just hyped both of them up more. I see his face when other guys get her attention/date rose etc. While some of the guys show disappointment, his looks angry to me. My initial gut feeling about him has not changed. When talking about his divorce, he mentioned being the first in his "bloodline" to do so.
I found that choice of words interesting. I still find him to be a creepy dude.

Wills--such a cutie, so into making her feel comfortable and letting her go at her pace in the date. I like him a lot
Jason--Be still my heart, the guy can kiss.
Blake--not as much seen from him this time but the talk about kids was wonderful.
These are the guys I enjoy seeing and will make my season watching worthwhile.

John came into his own this episode and did not disappoint.
What did disappoint was seeing Ryan go without a moment of time. And my fave Mike...they were not suited for each other, but some lucky woman is waiting for him and his sweet, funny, beautiful ways.

by Maddy Tue Jun 19, 2018 4:10 pm

The Bachelorette @BacheloretteABC
Captain Underpants has another bold move ready. #TheBachelorette pic.twitter.com/PQeVOQoF1G

by Astrobach Tue Jun 19, 2018 4:17 pm

I just cannot fathom her picking Garrett when there were so many red flags!! And does anyone else think it's sort of creepy that she keeps comparing him to her dad (she needs counseling)? @SFoster, well, I think so too. She obviously has lost all her abilities to discern and has blinders in when it comes to Garrett and the guys.
There was one sentence that Garrett used to describe his failed marriage in his first answer to Becca that deserves highlighting. He said that after they were married ‘ one thing led to another and they divorced’ like, WHAAAT? Is there not a more vague thing to say? Just like that? So my thought is that they stopped him and asked him again and give more details of what actullay happened, you can see the cut and edit when Becca asks him,’ what did she do,?’ Leading him to say that she was emotionally abusive. Which led me to think, this is so typical of a possible abuser, they ALWAYS turn things around in their favor. I see him even more as a very immature guy, my Gosh, he acts like a schoolboy and, I don’t know, but his voice is also very, very creepy, almost like he is slow or not too bright. I know this sounds harsh but their quick infatuation is so desperate, like they cling to each other as if they will never find anyone who gets them like that. That sounds a lot like projecting to me. Therapy would be so useful for Becca but she is blinded bliss right now, and she is just entering her Saturn return, so Rock and Roll for the next few years...

by northernviewer Tue Jun 19, 2018 4:19 pm

Maddy wrote:
The Bachelorette @BacheloretteABC
Captain Underpants has another bold move ready. #TheBachelorette pic.twitter.com/PQeVOQoF1G

Seriously .... I would so love him as the Bach :yes:

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Bachelorette 14 - Becca Kufrin - Episode 4 - June 18th - Sleuthing Spoilers

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Re: Bachelorette 14 - Becca Kufrin - Episode 4 - June 18th - Sleuthing Spoilers

Re: Bachelorette 14 - Becca Kufrin - Episode 4 - June 18th - Sleuthing Spoilers

Re: Bachelorette 14 - Becca Kufrin - Episode 4 - June 18th - Sleuthing Spoilers

Re: Bachelorette 14 - Becca Kufrin - Episode 4 - June 18th - Sleuthing Spoilers

Re: Bachelorette 14 - Becca Kufrin - Episode 4 - June 18th - Sleuthing Spoilers

Re: Bachelorette 14 - Becca Kufrin - Episode 4 - June 18th - Sleuthing Spoilers

Re: Bachelorette 14 - Becca Kufrin - Episode 4 - June 18th - Sleuthing Spoilers

Re: Bachelorette 14 - Becca Kufrin - Episode 4 - June 18th - Sleuthing Spoilers

Re: Bachelorette 14 - Becca Kufrin - Episode 4 - June 18th - Sleuthing Spoilers

Re: Bachelorette 14 - Becca Kufrin - Episode 4 - June 18th - Sleuthing Spoilers

Re: Bachelorette 14 - Becca Kufrin - Episode 4 - June 18th - Sleuthing Spoilers

Re: Bachelorette 14 - Becca Kufrin - Episode 4 - June 18th - Sleuthing Spoilers