Bachelorette 14 - Becca Kufrin - Episode 4 - June 18th - *Sleuthing Spoilers*

Jordyn Taylor @jordynhtaylor
Hi ABC more queer couples on #TheBachelorette please pic.twitter.com/r0GT3O7MpX

facelessblood wrote:Lol like anything Garrett said about his ex wife was any different than what others have said. I get wanting to hear both sides of the story but completely dismissing and accusing him of lying about being in an emotional abusive relationship is sad.

I haven't seen anyone completely dismiss or even accuse Garrett of lying at all. I just think he signed up for this show, the ex wife didn't. This isn't standard breakup stuff ala Wills' story (which I also am side eyeing him for). Garrett leveled some pretty serious accusations against his ex wife on an extremely public forum, that might be his experience but it's possible his ex wife has a completely different recollection of their relationship and I'm sure he wouldn't like if she came out and aired their dirty laundry publicly. Personally I don't see the point of putting all the responsibility on the other party after a break up, I think it stunts our growth as individuals. Let's say everything Garrett said is true and the relationship went down in exactly the way he described it, has he explored why he might've been vulnerable to that kind of manipulation? He seems really close to his family, how was she able to drive a wedge between them? The way he described falling in love with her, it seems he fell in love with the adventures they had rather than the actual person, is it possible the same thing is happening with Becca? The ex wife might be out of his life but that doesn't fix those underlying issues. I think as people we should always be trying to work on ourselves and be better versions of ourselves but that can't happen if we're unable to be honest with and about ourselves, especially our faults. The way he spoke about his marriage and subsequent divorce doesn't give me confidence that he has that ability. Maybe that doesn't matter to Becca but as a viewer of the tv show he signed up for, it affects the way I view him.

@ReneeM I agree that you can't put all the responsibility on one party after a break up. And I don't know if he has that ability but its a shame that we only saw about 2 edited minutes of that conversation

@northernviewer I was. Have a nice night.

ReneeM wrote:

facelessblood wrote:Lol like anything Garrett said about his ex wife was any different than what others have said. I get wanting to hear both sides of the story but completely dismissing and accusing him of lying about being in an emotional abusive relationship is sad.

I haven't seen anyone completely dismiss or even accuse Garrett of lying at all. I just think he signed up for this show, the ex wife didn't. This isn't standard breakup stuff ala Wills' story (which I also am side eyeing him for). Garrett leveled some pretty serious accusations against his ex wife on an extremely public forum, that might be his experience but it's possible his ex wife has a completely different recollection of their relationship and I'm sure he wouldn't like if she came out and aired their dirty laundry publicly. Personally I don't see the point of putting all the responsibility on the other party after a break up, I think it stunts our growth as individuals. Let's say everything Garrett said is true and the relationship went down in exactly the way he described it, has he explored why he might've been vulnerable to that kind of manipulation? He seems really close to his family, how was she able to drive a wedge between them? The way he described falling in love with her, it seems he fell in love with the adventures they had rather than the actual person, is it possible the same thing is happening with Becca? The ex wife might be out of his life but that doesn't fix those underlying issues. I think as people we should always be trying to work on ourselves and be better versions of ourselves but that can't happen if we're unable to be honest with and about ourselves, especially our faults. The way he spoke about his marriage and subsequent divorce doesn't give me confidence that he has that ability. Maybe that doesn't matter to Becca but as a viewer of the tv show he signed up for, it affects the way I view him.

You probably took longer to write this, and I to read it, than Garrett did to explain it to Becca. Obviously I know they spoke for longer than was shown, but the way it was edited didn't really allow the audience to see if he learned anything...hell, it barely gave him time to explain anything. I think Garrett's break up/divorce was more spliced than say Wills, because it was more unconventional and because tptb have a bigger storyline to stick to with him. She will have doubts about his ability to commit, if he is attracted to her because of this unconventional adventure they are on or if he is truly there for her. Hence why I think more of his story was left out and why it now feels so choppy watching it.

I'll be curious to see if more comes out about the divorce after the show tonight.

Diana wrote:I won't like if I didn't know anything about his awful views, I'd be so attracted to Garrett. Those smiles when Becca calls his name at the rose cermony's are just FIRE.

Colton and Jason are also pretty fine imo

When Garrett smiles there's not another man there that comes close to being as good looking as he is IMHO....I loved him having to fix his junk after Becca did the monkey jump and then rubbed all down him. Best part of the night. lolololol

mizzoufan wrote:I like Garrett and Becca.

So do I. Anytime you see smiles like they had you can't help but smile with them. IMO

Sprite wrote:..I'll be curious to see if more comes out about the divorce after the show tonight.

From CH..."there’s a little backstory to Garrett. He’s heartbroken, and it wasn’t that long ago. So he’s a little bit reluctant and he’s definitely a very slow mover, which is very difficult for Becca to handle. That will come out over time.” Link

GuardianAngel wrote:@ReneeM totally agree. If I was the ex, I'd be talking right now.

I don't understand how he could be heartbroken with someone who mentally abused him. They were together for a year and a half before getting engaged, then a year engaged, before getting married. That's a long time to not do anything if it's all her fault. I'm wondering who emotionally abused who.

I am a survivor of an ex who abused me...not just verbally, but physically also.  

I can tell you exactly where the heartbreak is...it comes from the fact that you trusted the person you gave your heart to to protect it, and cherish it, and not rip it out and crush it to a zillion pieces.  You're heartbroken because your hopes and dreams are shattered.

I accept no responsibility in my ex's abuse of me as I did nothing to deserve it!  The blame lies with my ex...all of it!!!

Why did I stay for three years...I was young, embarrassed, had a baby, and afraid.  


IMO...Garrett was trying to say enough without saying too much.  I got the impression that during this relationship, Garrett's family and friends let him know their feelings on how he was being treated, and didn't just sit back quietly.

jen689 wrote:

Sprite wrote:..I'll be curious to see if more comes out about the divorce after the show tonight.

From CH..."there’s a little backstory to Garrett. He’s heartbroken, and it wasn’t that long ago. So he’s a little bit reluctant and he’s definitely a very slow mover, which is very difficult for Becca to handle. That will come out over time.” Link

I don't see a guy who is moving slowly at all....?

XQZME wrote:

GuardianAngel wrote:@ReneeM totally agree. If I was the ex, I'd be talking right now.

I don't understand how he could be heartbroken with someone who mentally abused him. They were together for a year and a half before getting engaged, then a year engaged, before getting married. That's a long time to not do anything if it's all her fault. I'm wondering who emotionally abused who.

I am a survivor of an ex who abused me...not just verbally, but physically also.  

I can tell you exactly where the heartbreak is...it comes from the fact that you trusted the person you gave your heart to to protect it, and cherish it, and not rip it out and crush it to a zillion pieces.  You're heartbroken because your hopes and dreams are shattered.

I accept no responsibility in my ex's abuse of me as I did nothing to deserve it!  The blame lies with my ex...all of it!!!

Why did I stay for three years...I was young, embarrassed, had a baby, and afraid.  


IMO...Garrett was trying to say enough without saying too much.  I got the impression that during this relationship, Garrett's family and friends let him know their feelings on how he was being treated, and didn't just sit back quietly.

For me ... It’s not that I don’t believe that emotional abuse happens to both males and females and that the victim shares the blame in any way shape or form .... I just don’t believe Garrett and I have a feeling he’s exaggerating and putting the emotional abuse label on it to make himself look blameless in the marriage breakup. And when people do this... it belittles real cases like the one you yourself went through.

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