Arie Luyendyk Jr - Lauren Burnham - Bachelor 22 - Discussion #3

@"Aria” I thought it did air on Emily’s season? For some reason my memory has them talking about it at Dollywood. Arie started the discussion by telling Emily, and blaming Cassie for getting upset about, is, IMO, baling someone for daring to be annoyed at Arie’s selfish behavior.

Aria wrote:@Aunties_Love well, I do know since she told us. Twice. She also said he lied about the details of hearing about the miscarriage and when the breakup happened because of course he did.

http://www.lifeandstylemag.com/posts/arie-luyendyk-jr-miscarriage-153224

https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2012/07/emily-maynard-arie-bachelorette-dont-pick-him-ex/

I can't say they are telling the truth or not. They after all sold their stories as well. What I will say is there are 2 sides to every story. We weren't ants on the wall to clarify. It is what it is sad and closed.

It's pretty clear he didn't have her permission to talk about the miscarriage on national tv. He should've respected her wishes, but Imo Arie has no respect for anyone else but himself. Jmo.

JMO but I seriously doubt Cassie was "forced" to talk about anything. She chose to. Nothing at all wrong with it, but the point being is she did choose to talk about it rather than not saying anything.

Well, she wanted to get her side of the story out there. Arid decided to talk about their miscarriage to a total stranger, painted her in an unfavourable light, again on national tv. Her family didn't know about the miscarriage, and found out this way. These are extremely private matters, Arie didn't respect her privacy, and I'm completely supporting her saying her side too. Jmo.

There is a big difference between being forced or coerced to do something and choosing to do something. That's all I'm saying. When you don't want to talk about something, you don't, unless I guess you're being physically threatened, a loved one is etc. 
People say no comment and refuse interviews all the time. The choice to not engage is available. 
Because someone else talks does not mean there has to be an exchange. It's a choice to do so. 
The argument of "he did it first" doesn't wash well with me.  IMO the best way to stop something is not to engage in it. 
JMO

@Kashathediva You are right. She spoke out in anger after she felt violated by Arie. She didn’t have to. But, IMO, had Arie respected her right to not have everyone know she had a miscarriage then she would not have spoken up. JMO. I know I never told my dad about my miscarriage. It would have just upset him. I doubt my ex told his parents either. So I personally don’t find that unusual.

I think in this case, where Arie chose to speak about their miscarriage on a tv show watched by millions, Arie took her choice away. Either way her private life, a very painful experience of her life, became public. Wether she chose to speak or not, became irrelevant, because it was already out there because of Arie. So she gave an interview saying, that she didn't want the miscarriage become public knowledge, and corrected some info about their relationship Arie had already put out there. Jmo.

Ladybug82 wrote:IMO, the only thing his passing an STD test shows me is maybe he was actually smart enough to use protection.  It does not mean he doesn't or hasn't slept around a lot.  JMO

HSV-1 is primarily spread through kissing and is incurable, it's highly contagious as evidenced by about half the population having it, so if the show tests for it like some sources claim it implies that Arie hasn't slept around a lot. HSV-1 is now linked to Alzheimer, so it can no longer be considered 'annoying but harmless'. All IMO of course.

Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herpes_simplex_virus

As for the whole miscarriage thing, people are entirely too sensitive these days, it seems like being offended is the new national hobby. JMO.

Cocoasneeze wrote:I think in this case, where Arie chose to speak about their miscarriage on a tv show watched by millions, Arie took her choice away. Either way her private life, a very painful experience of her life, became public. Wether she chose to speak or not, became irrelevant,  because it was already out there because of Arie. So she gave an interview saying, that she didn't want the miscarriage become public knowledge, and corrected some info about their relationship Arie had already put out there. Jmo.

We will have to agree to disagree. IMO There was a choice. She was not forced. She was not protecting someone or herself in a life or death matter. In that instance, IMO, there would be no choice or a very difficult one. 
I'm not saying what she did is wrong or right.  I'm saying there was a choice and no one took that away from her, but herself. To me that is her justification and her right or not. 
It is not irrelevant, IMO, in this particular discussion. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. 
She chose to go public, too. She made that choice. You can choose to disengage, also. Which is what I will do now. 

And once again it seems...it's not Arie's fault. Silly woman for daring to standing up for herself and trying to get her point of view across about a very personal, traumatic matter because how dare she? She should just go and sit in a corner, flagellate herself and shut up! Only Arie deserves his truth out there!!!

I'm not sure why someone's opinion's automatically mean it's not Arie's fault. No one said it's not Arie's fault. IMO He shouldn't have discussed such a private matter.

The fact remains the ex did respond to tabloids, not once but twice. Her choice. She had every right to do so. No one forced her to speak. If she felt she had to defend herself, that's totally her right to do so. My comments don't excuse Arie, it's an opinion as well as fact.

My opinions don't mean making excuses for bad behaviour.