Bachelor 22 - Arie Luyendyk Jr - Episodes - Mar 5th FRC ATFR - #2 - *Sleuthing Spoilers*

littlereddress wrote:

alwaystulips wrote:

Mommyof2 wrote:

I will second this.

As will I. Thank you for your presoective,  @docnash14

Yes, all good points.  Especially the part about his face and neck getting beet red.  He was very emotional but not in a way that people thought should have been with tears.  He did try to hug her to comfort her but she did not want to be touched so I can where he was taken to be cold and with no empathy.  He could have handled things better though...much better.

I also have been grappling with why the cameras did not seem to bother either of them.  Neither said "can we have a minute to to ourselves" and I found it baffling.  I am guessing her going into the bathroom was her way of getting privacy.  It almost feels like the filming was part of the deal and neither one of them could request the cameras stop.  They wanted that scene.  

I am waiting for baby Bekah to drop some more damaging info on him so she can completely destroy him and be giddy about it.

My take? WTH is he doing in her DM? Baby  Bekah is the one he was falling for before she said 22. He is the one who had tears dripping down his face when she left and he didn't even make it to a HTD with her. So what's his excuse now in still trying to stay in touch. Nah, this is on Arie.

Sometimes relationships don't make sense. It's easy to say from the outside looking in "if Arie did that to me I would've (fill in the blank)." It's different when you're in the middle of it. Even people who have similar relationship experiences may not handle things the same way. There's no one way that's the only way and relationships are not cookie cutter.
My point being that just because Becca knew that there were red flags in her relationship with Arie does not mean that at that point she thought it was over and that she "knew" it and why didn't she break it off. I don't know what she was thinking at the time as I'm not in her head. All I can do is speculate why she stayed and attempted to make it work.
To me it's not as simple as Becca knew how he was feeling before the breakup and therefore he didn't lie. Period. That's it. Case closed. For me it's not case closed as I wasn't there to know exactly what he said to her or what she said to him during their relationship and his "struggles". That's not proof that there wasn't some lying on his part. How do we know he didn't lie about some things? Do we have a transcript of all of their conversations after he proposed? Heck he could have lied to Lauren too to try to get her back. I just don't know.
I do believe Becca attempted to make it work, but it takes two who are willing to make it work and I don't think Arie tried as he was already conflicted so he couldn't give Becca his full attention or devotion anyway. That's on him. Just my

Normally a guy doesn't date 2 women simultaneously and them knowing about it ... and being OK about it ... in Bach world that's what you sign up for ... so when a guy decides on only 1 woman at the end, that means that the thought prevailed on that woman ... that despite the "love" for another and the struggle during the media appearances he is still prefering to go through the difficulty with his F1 ... at least I assume that was Becca's take on his "promise" ... while Arie propose to commit (not to marriage, but to date her exlusively), but was never commited ... so was he honest, always?

Well, for example, years ago Arie revealed he'd gone to see Emily Maynard in secret after filming The Bachelorette ended. I'm sure there were several reasons why this breakup was filmed. But I don't think his hand was FORCED.

— Lauren Zima (@laurenzima) March 6, 2018

^^ Jason answered questions about that tonight too.

this thread...

Jason Mesnick
‏@jason_mesnick
If you have a question... Fire away!
8:36 PM - 5 Mar 2018

https://twitter.com/jason_mesnick/status/970880824768741376

Don't see any real purpose in bringing Ben H. and Jason on the program. Their presence added nothing.
I thought Jason in particular looked extremely uncomfortable. JMHO.

Aunties_Love wrote:

Jolena wrote:

Linds911 wrote:

won't know for sure until tomorrow/today's episode but all signs point to her imo.

Thanks Linds. I'm hoping it's her . Usually a few names are thrown out but I haven't heard of any this time , so I'm thinking it's Becca too.  

@Jolena Some feel that it may be Tia because of how the WTA went and how it was Tia sitting in the next lead chair and how she was asked the right questions as most un-announced leads have been asked.

Tia was in the "last person to be sent home" chair. If Kendall had been at the WTA, she would have been sitting there instead. IMO the only way Becca's not the next lead is if she turns it down.

Stone_Hedge wrote:And please! I got one sleuthing thing right! She did show Arie a pic of them in Dallas!

Yes - and I suspected you were always right about the picture - I was glad to see that "myth" confirmed.

stuckinsc wrote:He was conflicted and realized he loved the other woman and could not continue with Becca. What else is there?

That about sums it up for me.

GuardianAngel wrote:Arie could not leave when he wanted to. There was plenty more they wanted, they didn't get it other than dead air time.

My take exactly. He left because Becca told him too. But they sent him back in because they needed more footage. For something billed as "unedited" I saw evidence that this was really not the case - just a different way of going about an edit.

GuardianAngel wrote:
Yay I got that right. I knew she would have seen his like on IG and would know at that time something was not right. Dec 4th, she knew

I've been of the opinion that this all started (as the producers would have known) a lot earlier and that the liked pics of Dec 4 meant something more to Lauren (and apparently to Becca as well). They had talked about their dogs getting along and taking them to a dog park and that was a subtly reminder. Now - more than ever - I think the cease and desist letter they sent to RS was an attempt (feeble though it may have been) to shut him up this season because they knew very very early on what was going to end up happening.

Some other just general comments about what I saw last night:

It seems that Arie's family advised him that Becca was the better choice. That came as a bit of a surprise to me because up until they said that, I thought they liked Lauren more. Perhaps that was what influenced Arie at the end. If so - this is an exact case in point as to why I always feel that parents need to stay as far out of their children's love life as they can get. Support them to the hilt if they screw it up - but let them / force them to make their own decisions.

I thought that Lauren held it surprisingly together when Arie rejected her. She said she was blindsided but I didn't see blindsided. Either she knew what was going to happen, or she is much stronger under pressure than I ever would have guessed. My wife thinks the latter; I'm still not sure.

I didn't think that Arie was rude to Becca as had been said by several tabloid sources. Not that he didn't deserve it (because he did) but I felt Becca was more rude to Arie than he was to her. I think the tabloids got that one wrong.

The reports that Arie had talked with Becca about his struggle with his decision on more than one occasion seem to be confirmed - they did talk about it even to the extent that she was working with him. But how does that work? You just got engaged to someone and you're telling them that you love someone else? And your fiancee is surprised when you break up?

I thought Brad's proposal to DeAnna on his first season was more real than Arie's proposal to Becca.

@Lucas15 - CMIIW but to my recollection Brad did not propose to either gal on his first season; he sent them both home. He proposed to Emily in his second season.

stuckinsc wrote:

Aria wrote:

stuckinsc wrote:I am sorry, but blaming someone for trying to make a relationship work, when Arie admitted to not being COMPLETELY honest with her, is just not something I understand.

Arie is complemented for following his heart, but how dare Becca try to follow hers? 

I just don’t get it. 

All JMO.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: There isn't much that a hot guy on this franchise can't do that won't have women bending over backwards to try to justify it.

Agreed. But we are talking about Arie, not a hot guy. 

Exactly.. I bet the small bus picked him up when he finally left after her asking many times.

Eagle Eye wrote:

Aunties_Love wrote:

Jolena wrote:

Thanks Linds. I'm hoping it's her . Usually a few names are thrown out but I haven't heard of any this time , so I'm thinking it's Becca too.  

@Jolena Some feel that it may be Tia because of how the WTA went and how it was Tia sitting in the next lead chair and how she was asked the right questions as most un-announced leads have been asked.

Tia was in the "last person to be sent home" chair. If Kendall had been at the WTA, she would have been sitting there instead. IMO the only way Becca's not the next lead is if she turns it down.

there have been 4th place people in the chair that had the 3rd place sitting beside them and the 4th place still went on as Bette/bach. We also had 8th place person in Jake sitting in the chair that most leads have come from so there is no certain reason to the placement other than taking into acct who they want as the next lead. IMO

quietpal wrote:Sometimes relationships don't make sense. It's easy to say from the outside looking in "if Arie did that to me I would've (fill in the blank)." It's different when you're in the middle of it. Even people who have similar relationship experiences may not handle things the same way. There's no one way that's the only way and relationships are not cookie cutter.
My point being that just because Becca knew that there were red flags in her relationship with Arie does not mean that at that point she thought it was over and that she "knew" it and why didn't she break it off. I don't know what she was thinking at the time as I'm not in her head. All I can do is speculate why she stayed and attempted to make it work.
To me it's not as simple as Becca knew how he was feeling before the breakup and therefore he didn't lie. Period. That's it. Case closed. For me it's not case closed as I wasn't there to know exactly what he said to her or what she said to him during their relationship and his "struggles". That's not proof that there wasn't some lying on his part. How do we know he didn't lie about some things? Do we have a transcript of all of their conversations after he proposed? Heck he could have lied to Lauren too to try to get her back. I just don't know.
I do believe Becca attempted to make it work, but it takes two who are willing to make it work and I don't think Arie tried as he was already conflicted so he couldn't give Becca his full attention or devotion anyway. That's on him. Just my

I gave that example in my post because I lived through some dude saying all the right stuff, then found out that he's been talking with someone else and feelings were muddled. I found the redflags and kicked him to the curb. IMO, if you are watching for those signs especially when you were told about them, and then don't pay attention or just float by....I don't understand that. Especially when the redflags are in the face. IMO