Bachelor 22 - Arie Luyendyk Jr - Episodes - Mar 6th ATFR - #2 - *Sleuthing Spoilers*

But who is saying that:

I'm all for Becca doing whatever she needed to do to find peace (and make the producers happy), but I certainly don't think she needed to do what she did or that it's a model that other wronged women should follow. 

I am confused.  We are talking about the show. How does this bleed over to other things about wronged women? 
No one is telling anyone on this forum how to think. This is a discussion thread welcome to discussion, the good, bad and the ugly as site rules prevail. I don't recall seeing anywhere people should think a certain way. This is not directed toward @Aria  but to those who have expressed this sentiment.

@Kashathediva I didn't mean to apply it solely to wronged women, just anyone that has an issue with someone's actions. In this case, Arie's actions . It's been said by members here that Becca is a big person for doing what she did and she is an excellent example to follow. I disagree. She needed to do what she did, but I don't think it's a superior way of handling this type of behavior. I don't think that his exes who called him out for his cheating, lying, manipulating, and all-around douchebag behavior are any less classy than Becca. I don't think any of the posters here who are calling Arie out for what they believe to be dispicable behavior are any less classy. The implication, IMO, seems to be that since Becca has decided to forgive and forget, everyone else should follow her model and just let him be. I don't agree with that. IMO.

One thing that I have to say about Becca is that I really admired the way she quickly accepted reality when Arie broke up with her. Even while she was still reeling, she twice stated, "It wasn't me." Honestly I don't think I would have had the emotional maturity to do that at her age. She had absolutely no ego in the game along with a strong sense of her own self-worth. Arie might have hood-winked her but she was strong enough to see his con and learn from it.  

I think both qualities will serve her well on her own season.

Aria wrote:@Kashathediva I didn't mean to apply it solely to wronged women, just anyone that has an issue with someone's actions. In this case, Arie's actions . It's been said by members here that Becca is a big person for doing what she did and she is an excellent example to follow. I disagree. She needed to do what she did, but I don't think it's a superior way of handling this type of behavior. I don't think that his exes who called him out for his cheating, lying, manipulating, and all-around douchebag behavior are any less classy than Becca. I don't think any of the posters here who are calling Arie out for what they believe to be dispicable behavior are any less classy. IMO.

I get what you are saying.   And I appreciate being able to discuss this. 
But we are talking about the parameters of this show. I can not hold Becca accountable for the circumstances of society. I believe under the circumstances she handled things the correct and classy way. She is on her own journey now. Not the journey to represent all women. It may not have been how I would handle things. If you read some of my posting, it certainly IS NOT. However, as I said it's not about anyone, but her. 
I am not calling anyone's posting less classy or any derogatory term. We should all be free to express our opinions without judgement. This is my stance. I appreciate a good discussion, otherwise why would I post when I especially realize I am in the minority. 
As far as his exes go, I take the same stance as any other season blah blah blah. I'm sorry if this offends, but I believe ex's should keep their dirty laundry to themselves.  We all have chit. That doesn't mean we need to expose it when it's convenient to meet our needs. JMO
I am trying to keep things in perspective. Of. This. Show. 
Unfortunately, this show has been on for a long time. It has changed very little. I have been very consistent on how I feel about the production. If this show was cancelled--I would be the first person to applaud and say what took so forking long?

Well said, @Amethyst

I think Becca did very well last night. I think she decided that it wasn't worth being bitter and probably better to just move on. That doesn't mean that Arie didn't do things that she had questions or criticisms about or that she wasn't hurt by what he did, imo.

I'm very happy that Becca's going to be the Bachelorette but I don't think it takes away anything that she's gone through. I find it disturbing when the victim is blamed. Arie may have told her he was still thinking about Lauren but he was also talking to Becca about their future right up until the end. Becca's mistake was believing Arie. What about Lauren? She believes him just like Becca did. All JMO.

Kashathediva wrote:

Aria wrote:@Kashathediva I didn't mean to apply it solely to wronged women, just anyone that has an issue with someone's actions. In this case, Arie's actions . It's been said by members here that Becca is a big person for doing what she did and she is an excellent example to follow. I disagree. She needed to do what she did, but I don't think it's a superior way of handling this type of behavior. I don't think that his exes who called him out for his cheating, lying, manipulating, and all-around douchebag behavior are any less classy than Becca. I don't think any of the posters here who are calling Arie out for what they believe to be dispicable behavior are any less classy. IMO.

I get what you are saying.   And I appreciate being able to discuss this. 
But we are talking about the parameters of this show. I can not hold Becca accountable for the circumstances of society. I believe under the circumstances she handled things the correct and classy way. She is on her own journey now. Not the journey to represent all women. It may not have been how I would handle things. If you read some of my posting, it certainly IS NOT. However, as I said it's not about anyone, but her. 
I am not calling anyone's posting less classy or any derogatory term. We should all be free to express our opinions without judgement. This is my stance. I appreciate a good discussion, otherwise why would I post when I especially realize I am in the minority. 
As far as his exes go, I take the same stance as any other season blah blah blah. I'm sorry if this offends, but I believe ex's should keep their dirty laundry to themselves.  We all have chit. That doesn't mean we need to expose it when it's convenient to meet our needs. JMO
I am trying to keep things in perspective. Of. This. Show. 
Unfortunately, this show has been on for a long time. It has changed very little. I have been very consistent on how I feel about the production. If this show was cancelled--I would be the first person to applaud and say what took so forking long?

Reminds me of Possessionista's tweet a few nights ago about the 8th wonder of the world is why are we still watching this show?

mindless wrote:It's obvious IMO that he didn't love her, because when you love someone you don't just discard them like a used paper towel and forget about them in a matter of days. So whyTF did he keep telling her he loved her so much, proposed to her, and kept planning their future together, while at the same time rekindling things with his so called true love? It's utterly mind-boggling to me how anyone could act like that.

Because he wanted to keep her in his back pocket just in case things with Lauren fell through. Otherwise he would've ended it with her before approaching Lauren IMO.

Personally I believe there's a big difference between an apology given to save face and one given in sincerity from the heart. Maybe Arie was sincere but unfortunately I find him full of meaningless words. His actions speak volumes. And his actions show me he has no scruples unless it's to get what he wants with women. I've met womanisers before and Arie fits the mould. So I'm not going to hold my breath waiting for a wedding that's going to happen later this year.

Becca doesn't hold onto hurt, which she has shown by her actions. Yes, the Bachelorette gig was handed to her, but IMO it goes to a deserving person.

albean99 wrote:Well said, @Amethyst

I think Becca did very well last night. I think she decided that it wasn't worth being bitter and probably better to just move on. That doesn't mean that Arie didn't do things that she had questions or criticisms about or that she wasn't hurt by what he did, imo.

I'm very happy that Becca's going to be the Bachelorette but I don't think it takes away anything that she's gone through. I find it disturbing when the victim is blamed. Arie may have told her he was still thinking about Lauren but he was also talking to Becca about their future right up until the end. Becca's mistake was believing Arie. What about Lauren? She believes him just like Becca did. All JMO.

This pic says it all.  But notice his hands . He’s nervous but, that thumb still shows control and power. Jmo

sosleepy wrote:

umngirl wrote:Listening to some podcasts and it reminded me of one of the most troubling lines from last night.
Lauren: “are you 100% over Becca?”
Arie: “yes, 1000%.”

A$$hole. You would say that just days after breaking up with her.

Totally. He had a $hit eating grin while he said it too. I found that so troubling. 

Seriously, this guy.

This is where what Becka said about Arie seems true in that he says whatever he needs to say to the person in front of him. The week before he broke up with Becca they were planning for the future and then 2weeks later he’s 1000% over her. Becca wasn’t easier, Lauren was easier that’s why he wanted to go back to her. Love had nothing to do with it IMO. And the alternative facts from both Lauren and Arie about contacts between them before the break up is not believeable. Clearly he knew she was coming back to him before he walked through her door and oh by the way she wants a quick engagement.

If nothing else Lauren should take a look at Arie breaking up with her and Becca. He didn’t seem emotional or really sad to me. He seems to be more concerned about the pain he is going through not so much about the heartbreak he is causing. I can see them getting married quickly but I don’t think it’s for the right reasons for either of them. JMO.

So happy for Becca that she is moving past Arie.

Mommyof2 wrote:I don't think he ever loved her, so if that is indeed true, he would be 100000% over her in a heartbeat.  I never saw 'it' with them the entire season, not even at the proposal.  I think Becca knew it too.  Jmho.  

Agree! Also, I’m sure Becca is 1000% over him too. I would hope she is being that she’s ready for this next stage in her journey!

sanlee088 wrote:

Mommyof2 wrote:I don't think he ever loved her, so if that is indeed true, he would be 100000% over her in a heartbeat.  I never saw 'it' with them the entire season, not even at the proposal.  I think Becca knew it too.  Jmho.  

Agree! Also, I’m sure Becca is 1000% over him too so what’s the difference between the two? I would hope she is being that she’s ready for this next stage in her journey!