Lauren Burnham - **Sleuthing Spoilers**

BKay wrote:snipped..


No, that isn't what I was trying to say, so I'll try to clarify. In the dating scenarios that Arie's exes provided publicly, Arie was not committed to them and had not implied to them that he was. They hoped he would commit and they invested in a relationship that carried no promises. This is where the fault becomes the woman's, imo. We need to protect ourselves and our emotions first and foremost. Just because a man likes me and enjoys our sex doesn't mean he is in love, so if he gets tired of it and moves on, that doesn't make him a cheater. It makes me a dolt for being too easy to get, and for not being aware of his signals that I guarantee you were there if I had really wanted to know how he felt.

BKay wrote:

Ladybug82 wrote:Ok, so let me see if I'm understanding this...

If/When he cheats on LB, it's simply because she's not the one?  And that somehow makes it all ok and all fault falls on her, not him?

No, that isn't what I was trying to say, so I'll try to clarify. In the dating scenarios that Arie's exes provided publicly, Arie was not committed to them and had not implied to them that he was. They hoped he would commit and they invested in a relationship that carried no promises. This is where the fault becomes the woman's, imo. We need to protect ourselves and our emotions first and foremost. Just because a man likes me and enjoys our sex doesn't mean he is in love, so if he gets tired of it and moves on, that doesn't make him a cheater. It makes me a dolt for being too easy to get, and for not being aware of his signals that I guarantee you were there if I had really wanted to know how he felt.

Mommyof2 wrote:It's amazing to me that he hasn't loved anyone since Emily?  Really?  Honestly, that must make his ex's feel like crap.  

stuckinsc wrote:

Mommyof2 wrote:It's amazing to me that he hasn't loved anyone since Emily?  Really?  Honestly, that must make his ex's feel like crap.  

And we constantly hear the real love comes post show, so that was show love. Now wasn’t he with a woman with a child who miscarried his baby? How he can claim Emily as his first live? Maybe I am misreading that?

It is all weird, hope Lauren ends up happy with her choice.

stuckinsc wrote:

Mommyof2 wrote:It's amazing to me that he hasn't loved anyone since Emily?  Really?  Honestly, that must make his ex's feel like crap.  

And we constantly hear the real love comes post show, so that was show love. Now wasn’t he with a woman with a child who miscarried his baby? How he can claim Emily as his first live? Maybe I am misreading that?

It is all weird, hope Lauren ends up happy with her choice.

Chgohighlife wrote:

stuckinsc wrote:

Mommyof2 wrote:It's amazing to me that he hasn't loved anyone since Emily?  Really?  Honestly, that must make his ex's feel like crap.  

And we constantly hear the real love comes post show, so that was show love. Now wasn’t he with a woman with a child who miscarried his baby? How he can claim Emily as his first live? Maybe I am misreading that?

It is all weird, hope Lauren ends up happy with her choice.

The girl who miscarried his baby was before Emily. Remember him saying he had dated a woman with kids before her.

pbmax wrote:

stuckinsc wrote:

Mommyof2 wrote:It's amazing to me that he hasn't loved anyone since Emily?  Really?  Honestly, that must make his ex's feel like crap.  

And we constantly hear the real love comes post show, so that was show love. Now wasn’t he with a woman with a child who miscarried his baby? How he can claim Emily as his first live? Maybe I am misreading that?

It is all weird, hope Lauren ends up happy with her choice.

I recall him saying since Emily and if I'm not mistaken that one was before Emily, someone can correct me.

Chgohighlife wrote:

BKay wrote:

Ladybug82 wrote:Ok, so let me see if I'm understanding this...

If/When he cheats on LB, it's simply because she's not the one?  And that somehow makes it all ok and all fault falls on her, not him?

No, that isn't what I was trying to say, so I'll try to clarify. In the dating scenarios that Arie's exes provided publicly, Arie was not committed to them and had not implied to them that he was. They hoped he would commit and they invested in a relationship that carried no promises. This is where the fault becomes the woman's, imo. We need to protect ourselves and our emotions first and foremost. Just because a man likes me and enjoys our sex doesn't mean he is in love, so if he gets tired of it and moves on, that doesn't make him a cheater. It makes me a dolt for being too easy to get, and for not being aware of his signals that I guarantee you were there if I had really wanted to know how he felt.

I agree @BKay, 100%. Women have got to stop attributing their own sentiments to men and being gullible and easy to use and cowardly about communication. Arie is no choirboy but he seems fairly straightforward and honest. He sleeps with you and hangs out with you for a year. He never tells you he loves you because HE DOESNT. Neon sign; you’re not invited to be his date at his brother’s wedding. She graduated college, took a gamble, followed Arie to Arizona for his convenient access. She lost.simple as that.  If she had sat him down month three or at any point, I’m pretty sure he would have been honest about his feelings. You can’t trick a man into loving you and you can’t hang around till you grow on him like a fungus. Especially not a man with Arie’s experience. 

No one owes you more respect than you show yourself and loving a man who does not love you never ends well. That’s the unvarnished truth. We all have to understand that and protect our hearts and our spirits. I do not feel sorry for women who lack the courage to look out for themselves.

Sharleen wrote:LAUREN'S 1-ON-1
I've been keen to see Lauren's 1-on-1 for quite some time. I mentioned this last week, but one of my favorite things about Lauren (in addition to how not performer-y she is) is this feeling that she's not necessarily as into Arie as he is into her. I'm not saying that cruelly, because obviously I'd like him to end up with someone where the interest is entirely mutual, but rather that that subtle inequality creates opportunity for confessions like this...

Also note the humility it takes for Arie to admit the above. In his position of power and where all the women are assumed to be gung-ho about him, his ego hasn't gotten the best of him. The above feels like something a normal guy might think on an actual first date with a girl he's into.

Lauren was noticeably quiet on her 1-on-1 (we were sure to be shown many clips of Arie pointing out famous sites and her responding with, "Wow") and it hurt my heart a bit to watch. This is because I do feel like Lauren is indeed VERY into Arie, but she's endearingly uncomfortable on camera in addition to the trust issues that she admitted to having. I felt like this translated into Lauren continuously leaving the ball in Arie's court to keep the conversation flowing. It's easy to watch a date like theirs and just jump to the conclusion of, "Oh they have nothing to talk about", but I don't think that's the case at all. It's more that there's SO MUCH to talk about that it's positively overwhelming and you almost don't know where to begin. Add to that the pressure to have this magical date that catapults your relationship forward.

My metaphor here (because you know by now I love silly metaphors) is that "Roll-A-Ball" horse racing game (which by the way is my favorite carnival game). Only when you get your ball in the hard-to-reach, high number hole does your horse really take a big stride forward, but all the other horses are constantly inching forward as well. With these 1-on-1 dates, there's such a heavy pressure to not only get that rose, but to take that huge stride forward. I can see the stress causing shyer personalities like Lauren's to clam up even more than she already might.

I loved Arie's sweet response to Lauren's fear that she wouldn't be able to open up fast enough to keep her in the race...

A few of you expressed surprise that Arie gave Lauren the rose but I didn't find it out of the ordinary at all given that Arie is clearly very attracted to and intrigued by her, despite the faster burn of other relationships.

Finally, this date wraps up with a kiss...

... which doesn't line up with the kiss track (listen for the "smooch" sound even though there's no smooch in their kiss)...