Rachel Lindsay & Bryan Abasolo - Bachelorette 13 - Discussion - #2

Chgohighlife wrote:

peggy0221 wrote:Not gonna lie, never a fan of Rachel, I can totally see how she described the situation in the worst way possible to her squad, and seeing how, imo, dramatic her squad is, they could added something else to the story, so it became the derogatory version DLo heard.

IMO, if Rachel had told her squad an inflated version, she would have stuck to it and not have bothered to set the record straight. The fact that she did clarify what happened makes it much more likely D.Lo added the silly. JMO

Especially because DLo had described it as "not very nice" in another comment. She wasn't using her words carefully and probably just thought deragotory was a synonym for offensive.

Chgohighlife wrote:

peggy0221 wrote:Not gonna lie, never a fan of Rachel, I can totally see how she described the situation in the worst way possible to her squad, and seeing how, imo, dramatic her squad is, they could added something else to the story, so it became the derogatory version DLo heard.

IMO, if Rachel had told her squad an inflated version, she would have stuck to it and not have bothered to set the record straight. The fact that she did clarify what happened makes it much more likely D.Lo added the silly. JMO

Agreed, and the some of the squad that was still left and Danielle M were there eveyron talked about how it happened in Bimini when all of the girls were there so they all witnessed it and Rachel didn't need to inflate anything and notice no one who was actually there eveyr spoke on it. IMO many other people who have who have been interviewed said they didn't get along but i wasn't there they didn't decide to play telephone on something they didn;t witness IMO

Funny, none of Rachel's closest squad, Alexis, Astrid, Raven, Whitney , etc revealed anything about the incident. It's DLo who wasn't even close to her during filming, could not keep her big mouth shut.

So, in my book:
Rachel Vanessa : good
DLo:

sdmom wrote:Funny, none of Rachel's closest squad, Alexis, Astrid, Raven, Whitney , etc revealed anything about the incident. It's DLo who wasn't even close to her during filming, could keep her big mouth shut.

So, in my book:
Rachel Vanessa : good
DLo:

Agreed, DLO keeps speaking on thinsg she wasn't there t witness. whether you think rachel should be offended or not by that word she was, as Vanessa was offended by Rachel's behavior and used her words, at the end of the day I have heard reports of Vanessa bullying IMO and I can see both women being in the wrong but having a right to their feelings and both women have spice to them, but it was clearly decided by everyone who was their not to speak on it and they didn't IMO, they were seperated and it was put to rest, and this is not the first time DLO has commented on something she didn't witness or was a part of IMO. Jasmine was asked she said there was an incident i wasn't there so not going to speak on it, why was that so hard. IMO

i think rachel was forced to use the word "deragotory" only because d low labeled it like that. jmo

nikikass wrote:I don't understand when you call someone aggressive it means they are an angry black woman???? Since when?  I have never hear that before.   If I say to someone they are being aggressive that means they are in my face and back off.  It has nothing to do with colour, sex or whatever.

It means get out of my face.   But saying aggressive is kinder than get out of my face.   I dont know I dont get it.  I'm not going to tip toe around my feelings to make sure I dont offend anyone.  

People dont know if a common word has another hidden meaning.  Is there a new dictionary I need to buy?

So there are words you cant say to a person of colour that you can say to any other person?  

This is crazy and I'm too old to learn a new language.   IMO

Thank you, thank you. I have never heard of this, I've lived in the US 34 years. Do we know if this also applies to Canada? With Vanessa being from Canada this may explain why she used these words. Honestly, being called a bully and aggressive I would never have thought to be a stereotype.

Vanessa could be clueless on this stuff (likely IMO). Rachel can get icy when she's done with someone. I can't imagine her being a bully though. JMO.

bleuberry wrote:Vanessa could be clueless on this stuff (likely IMO) but

I'm just shaking my head at all of this LOL. What are they kindergartners? I have friends of many ethnicity but have never heard of the terms aggressive and bully relating to "angry black women". Honestly I'm flabbergasted.

Must be nice to not have ever heard or experienced it before. (Chrissy gif )

Being open to learning and educating are important steps. I believe along with those steps, tolerance, patience and listening are also important.
Every race, culture, religion has certain trigger words: dirty, mean, cheap, sneaky, sly.
People have different boiling points. Not everyone responds the same way.
In today's world, there are so many different variables operating and morphing on a daily basis, it's hard to keep up.
Maybe if we all tried to get along with each other more instead of going against each other and being ready to pounce, we would get further and better along. IDK.  JMO

bleuberry wrote:Vanessa could be clueless on this stuff (likely IMO). Rachel can get icy when she's done with someone. I can't imagine her being a bully though. JMO.

Unfortunately I have seen it too many times when people don't recognize how their behavior constitutes to bullying since there are no universal definitions of these things. IMO Anyone who has experienced Greek Life can give countless examples. IMO When Rachel is around her RL friends like Angela or her cousin Andrea, I can't see her being a bully either but when she is around the squad, I can totally see her being one. I think they bring out her worst tendencies. I like her so much more now that she has distanced herself from them IMO.

As for Vanessa, IMO she was clueless about the history of the term but I think she should remember it in the future (now that she knows). I agree that not everyone can know everything about another culture but when provided with the opportunity to learn, one should take it IMO.

All JMO

This kind of reminds me at ATFR, Peter said he felt being attacked and couldn't give an example when Rachel asked him. Same Vsnessa couldn't give her specific examples. I like Rachel but I think I would find her somewhat intimidating (I hope this is not an offensive word too!) if I for some reason cross her.

By the way, being originally from Asia, I admit I don't totally understand all the nuances of different cultures. I didn't know Aggressive is a stereotypical word in a certain culture, but it doesn't mean I am racially insensitive. Heck, I have different kinds of prejudice to deal with! I respect different ethnicities and like to learn more, but please be patient with me if I make mistakes along the way. Thanks!