Bachelor 22 - Arie Luyendyk Jr - General Discussion - *Sleuthing Spoilers*

Here's some thoughts I have on some other thoughts that were brought up on various threads but think that they are more suited to answering or giving my thoughts on them here.  hope that's ok.....


@stuckinsc, I can't bring the post over to here as it is in an archived thread, but you asked in it "how is it right to propose/agree to a committed relationship with one woman when you still want another"

As has been said here on the forum by a few others, IMO, since Brad W 1.0 and not choosing someone it is likely in the contract that he HAD to choose someone.  As we don't have the full picture yet(and maybe never will), MAYBE for all we know, he knew he couldn't be engaged to Lauren at the time for whatever reason we don't know right now and since he would of been in breach of contract if he didn't choose anyone at all, he went with Becca.

I know how liked Becca is on this forum and in other forms of SM in general so is the problem a matter of "how dare he do this to Becca" or just how can he do it to someone?  I ask this question with the above scenario in mind.....

The next part to the above......would if of been better for him to keep his mouth shut knowing full well that this couldn't go any further for him and Becca, that there would be a breakup on ATFR stage and let her keep thinking for months that everything is fine and they have a future....would that be better??


It's been said here on various threads that there is a lack of empathy from Arie.....I guess I am trying to understand because I am confused and wondering, should he be mopy and not show happiness or feelings towards the person he's with now?  I ask.....is it just because it's Becca is in this position or would anyone feel the same if it was anyone else??  I say that cause I know how well liked she is here and on SM in general.

If I am remembering things correctly, we've seen it in the past how TPTB have taken over a lead's SM, made posts that they want out there.  Who's to say that Arie is even making each and every post?  Isn't it a possibility that the same thing can be happening again??

FWIW, I don't think him posting a pic before the WTA about him thinking about the special person he has is ANY dig at Becca.  What I am saying though is that I think he's trying to show respect and feelings for the person he is with now and to me that's very respectable.  


@Kashathediva, I agree.  Arie has been pretty self depricating on SM so highly doubt he would purposely go out of his way to hurt Becca.  He was doing what he thought would save them all major heartbreak down the line by cutting it off when he absolutely knew there was no future for them.  I think TPTB played a MASSIVE role in all of this!




In general....after watching tonight's episode I am more convinced than ever that the ending is just a setup.  I think that for a long time, Arie was all about Lauren.  The fact that Becca's ex came back and how that was done screams a major setup and that it also goes to reason why Becca/Arie wasn't going to work.  It also is a setup for Becca saying to Arie that they aren't going to work, just as much as the other way around.

I am waaaaay more into giving Arie the benefit of the doubt after that theatrical performance by Becca and her ex than I ever was before and to tell you the truth, I was willing to give him a bit of one before.  Now though, something is really fishy with Becca and the ex and can see that as being a cause for some of their problem post show especially with the setup from Arie saying to him that if Becca chooses Arie, then the dude Ross needs to respect it.  Now if that isn't a setup for problems down the road what the hell is??


All above is IMO

According to Twitter, RS claims he has another big announcement today.  Maybe he switched to Kendall.

@Aunties_Love Interesting thoughts. Just from my own personal experience, my first real boyfriend and I were together for four years, through a rash of suicides at his school, the death of both of our grandmothers, my dad’s first big illness and my sisters struggles with bipolar. I would say after a year and a half, we fell out of giddy love, we had love and respect and shared experiences, and were expected by all our friends and my family to marry. Even though we kept meeting people we were more excited about, we stayed with our commitment. We both cheated, me emotionally and him physically, but we felt we had to stay with each other. He finally started talking about saving for my ring (even though he was screwing his future wife) and I got the courage to end it. It was rough, it was a trauma for many because we were “that” couple to them. My own mother yelled at me and told me I was stupid.

I knew for over two years that the relationship was not good for either of us, but in my early 20s I was not mature enough to realize that love can grow and change and it is okay to walk away from something that might have once been great, but wasn’t any more. It was a mistake I repeated with my first husband.

Watching Becca with her ex reminded me of myself. With my first love and my first husband we played the back and forth game before finally letting go. It can be hard to give up what was once great without something new waiting. And these were people you did love, who had shared good times and life events with me.

I think Becca stayed for many reasons and then finally found the strength to move forward. I think Ross was probably into the big gesture and when he realized she might really be gone he willingly went to try to reclaim what he saw as his. He was probably used to getting his way. None of this was fake or unusual to me, more a part of a love that started young but didn’t grow and mature as the two people in it growed and matured.

All JMO.

I hear what you are saying and thanks for sharing that perspective.

Maybe I didn't express the fake part well enough.....I meant that the whole thing of the ex coming back was contrite to me and was a setup by producers. Something with all that is giving me the whillies and making me take notice that "maybe" there is more of a reason for the breakup than we know right now. I just don't feel good about blaming Arie about the whole thing till we/I know more.

I am one that thinks that since Brad 1.0, the contract changed so now someone needs to be chosen at the end and now there needs to be an engagement......but how we get to there from here for me is a mystery right now. I just hope that by the end of this we will understand somewhat why Arie did it and IF it turns out that he's not 100% the blame for it all, maybe that will be known as well....

I don’t think they can force you to get engaged. Like JPG they can make you suffer greatly if you do not, but I doubt they would actually sue for breach of contract if someone failed to get engaged.

That said, I do believe Arie sold himself the idea of wanting a wife. I think when he agreed to be the bachelor he bought in hook line and sinker. I do blame him completely for switching. Just as I blame Jason. It may turn out fine like it did for Jason. But just like Jason and Molly, Arie will have cheated Lauren out of her F1 status that only Catherine has been given. Jason is barely a footnote to most as a bachelor who met his wife on his season. Arie did this to Lauren too.

I expect Becca, Lauren and even Arie will be fine. I am not sure if post bubble Arie will be able to maintain any love, but we will see.

All JMO.

Thanks again for your thoughts @stuckinsc. It's interesting to see all perspectives. I wonder though as with other SM out there, there is a lot of likes for Becca so if this had happened to anyone else, would it be as bad??

Aunties_Love wrote:Thanks again for your thoughts @stuckinsc.  It's interesting to see all perspectives.  I wonder though as with other SM out there, there is a lot of likes for Becca so if this had happened to anyone else, would it be as bad??

IMO, yes.

Both girls seem like great girls, neither one of them is being portrayed as a villain. I am seeing more against Arie than either girl. For many, they just can't understand why he didn't choose Lauren to begin with.

Is it possible that Becca breaks up with him?

A few things of note from last night: The ATM where Arie said Becca was the safe choice, that he was most confident in THAT relationship. I don't remember his exact words, but I remember that clearly because of that being discussed here before.

RE: Becca's ex. He had no tears and gave up pretty easy for someone who had come so far and claimed she was the love of his life. He didn't even attempt to touch her. Not even a hug! And I agree with others, she was not surprised at all that he was there and even said "I knew he was going to do this." Now if I had broken up with a guy over a year ago and we were not in contact, I would not have an inkling he was going to suddenly show up a year later!

Ross (Becca's ex) said he had only recently found out that this show "ended with an engagement". Now, would any of you consider that proof that TPTB now insist on an engagement at the end? Or would you think that is what they told him to urge him to come to Peru before it was too late?

justcallmegranny wrote:A few things of note from last night:  The ATM where Arie said Becca was the safe choice, that he was most confident in THAT relationship.  I don't remember his exact words, but I remember that clearly because of that being discussed here before.

RE:  Becca's ex.  He had no tears and gave up pretty easy for someone who had come so far and claimed she was the love of his life.  He didn't even attempt to touch her.  Not even a hug!  And I agree with others, she was not surprised at all that he was there and even said "I knew he was going to do this."  Now if I had broken up with a guy over a year ago and we were not in contact, I would not have an inkling he was going to suddenly show up a year later!

Ross (Becca's ex) said he had only recently found out that this show "ended with an engagement".  Now, would any of you consider that proof that TPTB now insist on an engagement at the end?  Or would you think that is what they told him to urge him to come to Peru before it was too late?

You bring up some good points, IMO. 
Personally, I think the ex is simply a jerk. The fact she put up with him for as long as she did, even off and on 7 forking years, makes me scratch my head. That he didn't hug her etc is probably a good tell on his personality. As well as that overly snug fitting suit. I cringe.  
I took that whole thing as Becca had a feeling production would pull this stunt and knowing what freak this ex was he would probably continue with his own brand of push/pull and show up. Had it been me, cameras or no, I would have simply shut the door in his face. 
Fine'. DUN.
As far as the statement "ended with engagement": I absolutely believe this is what TPTB want and expect. I also believe this is what production told him. This guy appeared to be to much of a Jughead to come up with original thoughts/statements on his own.

Aunties_Love wrote:Thanks again for your thoughts @stuckinsc.  It's interesting to see all perspectives.  I wonder though as with other SM out there, there is a lot of likes for Becca so if this had happened to anyone else, would it be as bad??

Of course it would be. If it was anyone else, they would be in Becca's slot, edited like Becca, a spoiled F1 like Becca, fan favourite instead of Becca. Hell, they could have put Krystal in this slot and then people would be feeling the same pity/outrage for her!

lstiff wrote:Is it possible that Becca breaks up with him?

I doubt it or we wouldn't be getting Caroline so outraged for her pal all over the place.


@justcallmegrammy  I don't necessarily think that Becca knew that her ex would do this...or necessarily been in contact...sometimes we know how people will react. Perhaps a friend warned her. Perhaps he tried to interfere in another relationship she had after him or he is just one of those controlling types who just doesn't want him for himself, but doesn't want anyone else to have her. Or she is just aware of how this show works...bringing back exes, etc. so she wasn't all that surprised. Of course, it could also have been a retake of the original time he showed up and he had blocked her facial reaction so they had to redo it...and she is not that good an actress.

As for the ex knowing the show ends in an engagement, I don't think that necessarily proves that there is an engagement clause, it just shows they told him or his friends told him how the show works.