Vanessa Grimaldi & Josh Wolf - Bachelor 21 - Discussion

coolangel wrote:All that hoopla for a year over the word 'bully'? Wow!

I can see why Rachel felt the use of 'aggressive' was offensive to her and Vanessa would do well to remember it in the future IMO. But IMO context is still important. There is zero comparison between Lee and Vanessa using that word IMO. If something is said with no racial implications behind it, is it fair to imply someone is a racist?  Why just Vanessa, I felt many members of this board went through that experience during Rachel's season when words were twisted to make them seem like racists. I still can't believe that Danielle L would stoop so low irrespective of her issues with Vanessa.  

I find bullying and ganging up to be aggressive and if Vanessa felt that was the case, I can see why she said what she said. Even though I don't agree with many things Rachel said in the article, I am glad Rachel cleared up what the word was coz people were running away with all sorts of assumptions with the N-word, C-word, sl*t, etc. Still can't believe all this nonsense was over the word 'bully'. SMH.

All JMO

- IMO - On the way the situations about the incidents are heading right now...those girls are siding with Rachel without even trying to find the truth or hearing Vanessa's side...it's no surprise Vanessa felt bullied...I have also seen Rachel roll her eyes to Vanessa quite a few times during TB Show...so I don't really think Vanessa is overreacting or being over sensitive... - JMO -

Kashathediva wrote:I can't even. I guess it's a good thing she didn't call her a damn bully.

               

teamkristina wrote:@sdmom rachel just shaded her credibility as a special needs teacher i don't know if thats something to ignore...

       -  IMO  -   I don't think Vanessa has lost her credibility as a special needs teacher for calling Rachel out...Vanessa has the right to defend herself on how she feels...if Rachel has felt that what she herself has been doing is not bullying...regardless on what she says, she doesn't have the right to tell Vanessa that she is wrong when Vanessa actually has felt the pressure from her...I remember somebody has once told me before that sensitivities are not something to argue about...something or words that would hurt others may not hurt you...but, the person hurting is not you...thus, you cannot tell them that they are too sensitive or insensitive...it is either you apologize to the person who is hurting or just shut up and move on...because there really is no win-win situation here since the person is really hurting...Vanessa has voiced out her feelings hoping some changes can be done, but Rachel has walked away from it...thus, it hasn't fixed anything...but, with her squad telling people that Vanessa is wrong..it has created a series of speculations and character assassinations on Vanessa...that is so so not fair...   -  JMO  -

Taylor posted an IG for #wcw. I'm so glad she has Taylor and Danielle M for friends out of this experience.

In the second pic, Vanessa's eyes look sad. Looking forward to today's ENews show.

Hmmm....and this is why I can't get behind Rachel and her stupid squad. They can ostracise and make fun of others but heaven forbid you call them out on their sh*t....then you are a bully.  And DLo is as stupid as I thought. No matter how much boob she plopped out, Nick was still not going to pick her....whether Vanessa was there or not.

I don't think I have ever disliked a group so much. No wonder they are going with international people for the Winter Games.

I hope Vanessa stays far from this mess. It was always telling to me the girls who she was friends with post show...Taylor and Danielle M. The two that I actually liked. For me, who you choose to associate yourself with speaks volumes....and in this case it is shouting.

Skates wrote:

Kashathediva wrote:I can't even. I guess it's a good thing she didn't call her a damn bully.

               

I'm still interested in finding out what an appropriate alternate word bank might be. Bueller? Bueller?

Why are these idiots so dramatic?? Fck!! Get a job! A hobby! A pet! Or if you have these things already, double up! Two jobs and two pets. Oy vey.

Sprite wrote:Hmmm....and this is why I can't get behind Rachel and her stupid squad. They can ostracise and make fun of others but heaven forbid you call them out on their sh*t....then you are a bully.  And DLo is as stupid as I thought. No matter how much boob she plopped out, Nick was still not going to pick her....whether Vanessa was there or not.

I don't think I have ever disliked a group so much. No wonder they are going with international people for the Winter Games.

I hope Vanessa stays far from this mess. It was always telling to me the girls who she was friends with post show...Taylor and Danielle M. The two that I actually liked. For me, who you choose to associate yourself with speaks volumes....and in this case it is shouting.

I totally agree with your post.     Never been a fan of Rachel's and knowing that she and her group ganged up on Vanessa, made me dislike her even more.    One thing I know for sure if you are a lawyer you are no little mouse.  The couple of episodes I saw of her season showed me exactly who she is.  Peter dodged a bullet. JMO

I can see now why Rachel would be upset by the word 'aggressive' being used, but I didn't know it was such a taboo word either before all the Kenny and Lee drama during Rachel's season. I wouldn't expect a Canadian like Vanessa to be any more clued in to all the social issues faced by African Americans. Anyone can use an aggressive tone regardless of skin colour and it was probably just a poor choice words from V. I certainly wouldn't put it past Rachel to be hostile in tone since I feel I've witnessed it myself at times on TV. As for the word 'bully'? Cry me an effing river, Rachel. Rolling your eyes at someone repeatedly and ostracising them IS a form of bullying. Whether V brought it on herself who knows, but if she felt bullied then she's free to say so. At least she brought it up to Rachel at the time instead of going on about it a year later to the media. JMO.

As for Danielle L, she's always been overly dramatic, so what's new? She was crying over a guy she went on one and a half dates with 4-5 months later. She kept calling the recent Ben and Ashley podcast appearance a horrific experience or some such nonsense. I mean they were crappy and condescending sure, but the worst was behind her back which she said she hadn't listened, while the phone conversation was mostly polite and she's the one who came across as reasonable. I doubt she'll be needing therapy to get over it. My point being, it's to be expected that what's super derogatory to DLo is probably mildly offensive to a regular person. JMO.

IMO it's good to recognize the sensitivity that certain words have attributed to them culturally.
However, IMO, it does not excuse the fact that people still can have those attributes under certain circumstances.
I am not saying this is or is not the particular circumstance. All I'm saying is it does not buy anyone a free pass.
I also do not see any difference in the words: aggression, angry, hostile, bully, antagonistic. JMO. They are all gradients of the same words and practically the same degree in my view.

I don’t think Rachel would have ever brought this situation up if DLo’s comments weren’t published by media outlets. IMO she just wanted to set the record straight and she seems over the whole thing at this point. Vanessa doesn’t look any worse after this IMO whether she responds or not. It’s been rumored that they didn’t get along during filming and this is more of the same, I don’t think anyone is at fault. Those who like V will still like her, and I think those who like Rachel won’t see her any differently. They both are entitled to feel the way they did IMO.. However, DLo’s answers were very dramatic IMO for someone who didn’t witness the altercation firsthand.

@bachfan218

Great post. I completely agree. What's done is done. Move on.

I am thankful Rachel chimed in to clarify. Hopefully everyone is done with this subject. DLO will always be an idiot IMO so anything she says I will roll my eyes at. What a Twat. Someone needs to show her how to dress when people are interviewing her.