Nick Viall - Bachelor 21 - Discussion

Mgrissom wrote:It is interesting to me that Bachette couples seem to have an easier time of it post show than Bach couples.  I think the women "winners" need more reassurance from their man of their love and desire for a forever relationship.  Vanessa seemed to always defer to Nick when interviewers asked about wedding plans and when asked about Rachel's engagement she replied, "everyone ends up engaged on this show."  I think it was Vanessa that had had enough of being a Bach couple and went home to the family she missed.  Their statement sure left open the possibility of a reunion.  Then while at Sharleen's wedding, Nick was totally back in the Bach world, probably ignored Vanessa's texts or phone calls, and communication between them stopped. It appears the hiking IG and the quotes are a way to reach out to her. To me it is obvious that they miss each other, but Vanessa was never convinced that she would have been his choice IRL.  It's been almost a month and Vanessa seems to have only been out with girl friends and family. When/if one of them moves on, then we will know it's over.

Yeah, I think that both of them struggled being a Bachelor couple which is why I actually believe that the break-up was a mutual decision. I also agree with your argument that the women winners need more reassurance than the male winners which is why Bachelorette couples are more successful than Bachelor ones. I haven't been following Vanessa since the break-up but going off of her People interview that she did a few weeks ago (and what I think that I know about her personality), I doubt that her feelings for Nick are completely gone and I'm sure that, deep down, she still loves him too.  Whether or not they decide to get back together still remains to be seen...but I definitely believe that they still aren't over each other--I think those feelings are still mutual too. JMO

I have a different view as to why the Bachette couples are more successful. I think it is because women who go on the show  do a better job of distinguishing love from lust. And so their decisions are made based on love not infatuation. Whereas the men lead with attraction and they do not take the time sufficiently to get to know the women. This is evidenced by the serious life questions that the Ettes ask the men. Whereas the men generally do not do such a great job in asking the real questions. If you realise with Nick and Vanessa (CMIIW), it was Vanessa asking the serious questions, not the other way around.

aviej wrote:I have a different view as to why the Bachette couples are more successful. I think it is because women who go on the show  do a better job of distinguishing love from lust. And so their decisions are made based on love not infatuation. Whereas the men lead with attraction and they do not take the time sufficiently to get to know the women. This is evidenced by the serious life questions that the Ettes ask the men. Whereas the men generally do not do such a great job in asking the real questions. If you realise with Nick and Vanessa (CMIIW), it was Vanessa asking the serious questions, not the other way around.

I agree with this...although the fact that Nick and Vanessa did have serious conversations about their relationship when they were on the show and Nick still chose her in the end demonstrates to me that his decision was based on love and not just attraction. I think that Nick realized that the relationship was not going to be easy due to the challenging aspects of both their situation and Vanessa's strong personality, and yet I think that he chose her because he saw qualities in her that he was looking for in a life partner and felt feelings for her that went beyond just physical attraction. I think that he knew that proposing to her would be a leap of faith but I also think that Nick is 36 years old and knows himself enough to know what he was looking for in a woman and I do think that Vanessa checked a lot (if not all) of the boxes for him.

But on principle, I tend to agree. I usually get the sense that the Bachelors don't really know exactly what they are looking for and so it does seem like they are just leading with physical attraction when they make their decisions both throughout the show and in the end. However, I think that's why I enjoyed Nick as the Bachelor and found him fairly refreshing. I actually do think that he took the time to try to get to know the women as best as he could in that strange, abnormal world. If Nick had simply led with physical attraction then he would have chosen Danielle L. JMO

Hmm, interesting theory....especially since Danielle l. Fits the type of a sharleen, who many think is a type nick would fit with. But IMHO DLo didn't bring as much to the table intellectually as a sharleen does.

All of these likes Nick had liked on IG makes me to believe that Vanessa was the one who decided to end the engagement. Nick still has the sad look in his eyes

Billysmom wrote:Hmm, interesting theory....especially since Danielle l. Fits the type of a sharleen, who many think is a type nick would fit with. But IMHO DLo didn't bring as much to the table intellectually as a sharleen does.

I don't think that Nick would fit with a Sharleen type because of her looks. I mean she is a brunette which seems to be what he prefers, but it is more her personality, strength, intelligence, vivacity, humour, kindness, wit ... those are really the things that hold his interest. That is why I always knew DLo was never going to be his cup of tea. She hasn't been shown to have the depth that is necessary for someone like Nick. Similarly Andi, while physically his type and more on the same intellectual level, didn't have the humour and was lacking in compassion and the kindness department. He really seems to be looking for an exceptional type of woman.

Sprite wrote:

Billysmom wrote:Hmm, interesting theory....especially since Danielle l. Fits the type of a sharleen, who many think is a type nick would fit with. But IMHO DLo didn't bring as much to the table intellectually as a sharleen does.

I don't think that Nick would fit with a Sharleen type because of her looks. I mean she is a brunette which seems to be what he prefers, but it is more her personality, strength, intelligence, vivacity, humour, kindness, wit ... those are really the things that hold his interest. That is why I always knew DLo was never going to be his cup of tea. She hasn't been shown to have the depth that is necessary for someone like Nick. Similarly Andi, while physically his type and more on the same intellectual level, didn't have the humour and was lacking in compassion and the kindness department. He really seems to be looking for an exceptional type of woman.

Out of all those qualities, what do you think Vanessa was lacking? Or do you think Nick was lacking something in Vanessa's eyes?

Stacia620 wrote:

Sprite wrote:

Billysmom wrote:Hmm, interesting theory....especially since Danielle l. Fits the type of a sharleen, who many think is a type nick would fit with. But IMHO DLo didn't bring as much to the table intellectually as a sharleen does.

I don't think that Nick would fit with a Sharleen type because of her looks. I mean she is a brunette which seems to be what he prefers, but it is more her personality, strength, intelligence, vivacity, humour, kindness, wit ... those are really the things that hold his interest. That is why I always knew DLo was never going to be his cup of tea. She hasn't been shown to have the depth that is necessary for someone like Nick. Similarly Andi, while physically his type and more on the same intellectual level, didn't have the humour and was lacking in compassion and the kindness department. He really seems to be looking for an exceptional type of woman.

Out of all those qualities, what do you think Vanessa was lacking? Or do you think Nick was lacking something in Vanessa's eyes?

I don't think she was lacking anything. Sometimes there are other issues going on....ones we may not be privy to. I also think he is struggling. All these deep, missing love type posts are unusual for him from what little I know. As for if Nick was lacking anything for Vanessa, that is the question in my eyes. I'm not as aware of what she is looking for and what her breaking point is/was.

Sprite wrote:

Stacia620 wrote:

Sprite wrote:

I don't think that Nick would fit with a Sharleen type because of her looks. I mean she is a brunette which seems to be what he prefers, but it is more her personality, strength, intelligence, vivacity, humour, kindness, wit ... those are really the things that hold his interest. That is why I always knew DLo was never going to be his cup of tea. She hasn't been shown to have the depth that is necessary for someone like Nick. Similarly Andi, while physically his type and more on the same intellectual level, didn't have the humour and was lacking in compassion and the kindness department. He really seems to be looking for an exceptional type of woman.

Out of all those qualities, what do you think Vanessa was lacking? Or do you think Nick was lacking something in Vanessa's eyes?

I don't think she was lacking anything. Sometimes there are other issues going on....ones we may not be privy to. I also think he is struggling. All these deep, missing love type posts are unusual for him from what little I know. As for if Nick was lacking anything for Vanessa, that is the question in my eyes. I'm not as aware of what she is looking for and what her breaking point is/was.

It's very unusual for him...heck maybe that blocking by V during Sharleen's wedding weekend hit home and he decided to approach things differently. I don't see sadness in his eyes in the latest insta but I do know Nick is feeling emotional. He isn't one to hide his feelings. It's not him, IMO.

mprssdbyu wrote:
It's very unusual for him...heck maybe that blocking by V during Sharleen's wedding weekend hit home and he decided to approach things differently. I don't see sadness in his eyes in the latest insta but I do know Nick is feeling emotional. He isn't one to hide his feelings. It's not him, IMO.

Yeah, I think it's unusual too. However, I for one am glad that Nick is feeling emotional because I think that it's necessary for him to work through these emotions in order for him to heal. JMO

V is doing another E news segment in Ca this Thursday. Who knows what is up. Maybe they are communicating.

mprssdbyu wrote:V is doing another E news segment in Ca this Thursday. Who knows what is up. Maybe they are communicating.

Yeah, I can't imagine Vanessa coming back to LA and Nick not trying to see her--especially given how he seems to be thinking about her a lot lately. I definitely see a meet-up in the cards...