Nick Viall - Bachelor 21 - Discussion

mistygracie74 wrote:

happydays wrote:One of they flags that got raised for me in terms of Nick not putting in effort was when someone asked him at the NBY event if he had learnt any italian and he said no. This woman moved countries for you and you can't bother to learn a couple of words from her language?

Apparently vanessa agreed to live in la, so someone had to give. But you'd think there'd be other forms of reciprocation from Nick's end.

I feel like this relationship died much earlier than we probably all think. And nick knew it early on.

Vanessa's main language is English, which she speaks with her sister/brother, & friends. Nick made the effort in getting to know her family & got along well with them, especially Nona. So I think it's unfair to say he didn't make any effort in the relationship, & sorry, but Vanessa did not give up anything, she always flew back & forth to Montreal whenever she pleased, she probably saw her family more, than Nick has with his. I just find it very immature of Vanessa is throwing shade at Nick, or has friends(Danielle M.) do it for her. Nick has been nothing but respectful to Vanessa's feelings throughout the breakup! JMHO.

Though I agree that Nick has been more tactful and seems to be handling the break-up better/more maturely than Vanessa...in fairness to Vanessa, I honestly just think that her reasons for unfollowing/blocking Nick on social media (and I guess shading him as well? (I don't follow Vanessa so I don't exactly know how she has been shading him but I'll take your word for it)) is simply because she is still hurting from the break-up and is probably in the thick of experiencing the anger phase of the grieving process. I wouldn't be surprised if she hates Nick right now because in her mind he is the guy who broke her heart into a million pieces...however, Nick has said himself that the opposite of love isn't hate but that it's indifference, and I honestly think that Vanessa's anger is actually proof of the love that she clearly still has for him--a love that she is still trying (and failing) to let go. For the record, I don't think that Nick is indifferent to Vanessa either; I just think that he wanted to show his love for her by being kind and supportive and still wanting to be a presence in her life in some way which, again, is why he had no problems admitting that he still loves her despite the break-up and was still following/ liking her posts on Instagram up until she blocked him the other day. However, I think that Vanessa is still a little too emotional right now to be able to have some sort of relationship with Nick so I wouldn't be surprised if she told him that she needs her space and that he has backed off as a result. Of course, this is all speculation so I could be way off base but I'm just going off of their post-break up statements and social media activity and combining these findings with my personal observations on the matter.However, I guess the bottom line is that when I look at Nick and Vanessa right now, I see two people who still have feelings for each other but who are processing the break-up in different ways. I'm not going to criticize Vanessa for being upset at Nick for making her feel the way that she does because, to me, that's just confirmation of the fact that she is still hurting and I sympathize with her for that.

coolangel wrote:

MonicaJM2001 wrote:Well from Vanessa's People article she said distance/location played no part in the break up. What were they going to do in Canada at that point? As far as it appeared, V lived with family. Was Nick to live with them as well? I watched the Montreal poop smell snap and I just took it for being literal as confirmed by some here also who have been to Montreal. If V is shading Nick or subtweeting or whatever that really isn't his issue or thing to worry about. That honestly reflects on her just as if he were to throw shade her way (which so far he does not appear to have done any such thing). All he has done so far is profess he still loves her despite the break up and shown support on SM by liking pics only then to have her unfollow/refollow/unfollow and then block, unblock, reblock which I will reiterate is not a big deal to me in itself, she is free to deal with the break up as she pleases but I don't see Vanessa as a "victim" or Nick as "at fault."  These two adults tried to have a relationship in the real world (as billions of others do) and sadly it ended/didn't work out (as billions of other don't). As far as Nick being single at 37 being some sort of unusual thing or midlife crisis I respectfully disagree with that sentiment, evening considering the bachelor stuff. IMO, from what I've seen in the world today, more and more people are still single even into their 40s, or they have become single after being married or in long relationships or multiple shorter relationships. I'm 34 and still looking for my future husband. IMO it is just the sign of the times.

Well said [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]! ITA!

I really dislike the notion that if you don't have a regular 9-5 job or are in a committed relationship in your 30s, you must be having a mid-life crisis. In my profession, I see people quit their jobs everyday and go and be part of some startup project they are passionate about. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But I admire their courage and the fact that they chose to take a risk instead of living a life filled with regrets and 'what-ifs'. Nick isn't hurting for money after Bachelor+DWTS right now. I see no reason why he should go back to Salesforce if that's not something he wants to do IMO. I also agree that being single/unmarried in late 30s is far from unusual in today's world. There are enough studies and statistics by this point to prove that IMO. In today's world, Nick is the norm, not the exception IMO. I firmly believe that one shouldn't settle for less than what they want or deserve - be it a job or a relationship. Do you, Nick!  

All JMO

Great posts [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] and [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]. All I can do is echo what's been said before, do you Nick 

coolangel wrote:

MonicaJM2001 wrote:Well from Vanessa's People article she said distance/location played no part in the break up. What were they going to do in Canada at that point? As far as it appeared, V lived with family. Was Nick to live with them as well? I watched the Montreal poop smell snap and I just took it for being literal as confirmed by some here also who have been to Montreal. If V is shading Nick or subtweeting or whatever that really isn't his issue or thing to worry about. That honestly reflects on her just as if he were to throw shade her way (which so far he does not appear to have done any such thing). All he has done so far is profess he still loves her despite the break up and shown support on SM by liking pics only then to have her unfollow/refollow/unfollow and then block, unblock, reblock which I will reiterate is not a big deal to me in itself, she is free to deal with the break up as she pleases but I don't see Vanessa as a "victim" or Nick as "at fault."  These two adults tried to have a relationship in the real world (as billions of others do) and sadly it ended/didn't work out (as billions of other don't). As far as Nick being single at 37 being some sort of unusual thing or midlife crisis I respectfully disagree with that sentiment, evening considering the bachelor stuff. IMO, from what I've seen in the world today, more and more people are still single even into their 40s, or they have become single after being married or in long relationships or multiple shorter relationships. I'm 34 and still looking for my future husband. IMO it is just the sign of the times.

Well said [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]! ITA!


I really dislike the notion that if you don't have a regular 9-5 job or are in a committed relationship in your 30s, you must be having a mid-life crisis. In my profession, I see people quit their jobs everyday and go and be part of some startup project they are passionate about. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But I admire their courage and the fact that they chose to take a risk instead of living a life filled with regrets and 'what-ifs'. Nick isn't hurting for money after Bachelor+DWTS right now. I see no reason why he should go back to Salesforce if that's not something he wants to do IMO. I also agree that being single/unmarried in late 30s is far from unusual in today's world. There are enough studies and statistics by this point to prove that IMO. In today's world, Nick is the norm, not the exception IMO. I firmly believe that one shouldn't settle for less than what they want or deserve - be it a job or a relationship. Do you, Nick!  

All JMO

I couldn't agree more.
I know plenty of single people in their 30's. It does not mean they are failures, losers or eccentrics. Everyone marches to the beat of a different drummer. What works for one doesn't alway work for another. What makes me happy, may not make another happy and I would hate to force that on someone because that was the norm 30 yrs ago. Times change, people change.
For most of you reading this post, I would be considered an old woman. Maybe I am. I don't think so, but I will go with that. One thing I have learned, you can not buy good health and you can't buy happiness. Both can be fleeting. I learned that tragically at a young age. Those two things need to be cherished. That is why you will often hear me say I think it is better to be single and happy than with someone and miserable. JMOAA.

happydays wrote:[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

happydays, just want to send you an olive branch, sorry for disagreeing with you, thanks for sharing these 2 pics!

Kashathediva wrote:
I couldn't agree more.
I know plenty of single people in their 30's. It does not mean they are failures, losers or eccentrics. Everyone marches to the beat of a different drummer. What works for one doesn't alway work for another. What makes me happy, may not make another happy and I would hate to force that on someone because that was the norm 30 yrs ago. Times change, people change.
For most of you reading this post, I would be considered an old woman. Maybe I am. I don't think so, but I will go with that. One thing I have learned, you can not buy good health and you can't buy happiness. Both can be fleeting. I learned that tragically at a young age. Those two things need to be cherished. That is why you will often hear me say I think it is better to be single and happy than with someone and miserable. JMOAA.

As someone who is in her 60's and never married, the bold statement is what I have lived.

Could I have gotten married? Yes. I had several boyfriends that talked about marriage. I couldn't see myself with them long term. The one I would have married... he didn't feel the same way so it never happened.

Don't be sad for me or consider me a loser because I have lived a pretty darn good life, have good friends, wonderful extended family (I was also an only child) and am happy.

So to get back to Nick, I see nothing wrong with him still being single as his age.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Lovely photo and the caption is beautiful.

havadrpepper, you are a great lady, nothing wrong to stay single at any age. I'm also still single at 43, nothing wrong with it.
Bluejay271, Beautiful pic!

I don't think there's anything wrong with being single and "unemployed"/chasing new dreams when you're in your 30s if that makes you happy. Nick just hasn't seemed happy to me for the last 6 months. IMO.

mistygracie74 wrote:

happydays wrote:One of they flags that got raised for me in terms of Nick not putting in effort was when someone asked him at the NBY event if he had learnt any italian and he said no. This woman moved countries for you and you can't bother to learn a couple of words from her language?

Apparently vanessa agreed to live in la, so someone had to give. But you'd think there'd be other forms of reciprocation from Nick's end.

I feel like this relationship died much earlier than we probably all think. And nick knew it early on.

Vanessa's main language is English, which she speaks with her sister/brother, & friends. Nick made the effort in getting to know her family & got along well with them, especially Nona. So I think it's unfair to say he didn't make any effort in the relationship, & sorry, but Vanessa did not give up anything, she always flew back & forth to Montreal whenever she pleased, she probably saw her family more, than Nick has with his. I just find it very immature of Vanessa is throwing shade at Nick, or has friends(Danielle M.) do it for her. Nick has been nothing but respectful to Vanessa's feelings throughout the breakup! JMHO.

         -  IMO  -   I don't believe Vanessa has flown to Canada just because she thinks she can do it whenever she pleases...the way I see it she has been there in Canada mostly for the NBY only...there is the situations of her having limited time to stay in the United States as well thus, staying permanently in the States cannot be her option either...I can see that she is still trying her best to spend more time with Nick as much as possible whenever she is in LA...her great support in DWTS has reflected her dedication to make their relationships work regardless of the frenzied media always blasting her for allegedly wanting fame more than the relationship...I don't believe their relationships have has died early on as well...Nick and Vanessa have been all smiles and really happy even weeks before the break up...I think everything comes down to the change of life events...Vanessa wants to continue her foundation, but has been struggling with having to go back and forth, and Nick wanting to pursue something different...I also believe Nick's non-committal may have pushed Vanessa off...I don't think Vanessa is against Nick's pursuing an acting career since that has been Nick's plan all along for staying in LA...there is really nothing wrong with Nick wanting to take risks to gain easy money when opportunities kick in...everything comes in as a matter of perspectives...whatever they think their life goals are at those moments in time...it is not Vanessa's issues if Nick doesn't go to Wisconsin as often...if I am right, I don't think Nick actually visit Wisconsin that often either even before Vanessa's existence in his life...

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] thank you both again your beautiful comments. These are 2 people dealing with their breakup as well as their different personalities allow. Vanessa showing more emotion, Nick not much at all (IMO this balances them out) They both seem to be keeping busy with friends and family. IMO they should be able to deal with this in their own ways without being judged.

mistygracie74 wrote:

happydays wrote:[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

happydays, just want to send you an olive branch, sorry for disagreeing with you, thanks for sharing these 2 pics!

Haha that's ok that's what forums are for. Going to make my 5th attempt of breaking away from this franchise.

Farewell! Probably will come to lurk now and then though.

Hope Nick finds whatever he is looking for.

happydays wrote:

mistygracie74 wrote:

happydays wrote:[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

happydays, just want to send you an olive branch, sorry for disagreeing with you, thanks for sharing these 2 pics!

Haha that's ok that's what forums are for. Going to make my 5th attempt of breaking away from this franchise.

Farewell! Probably will come to lurk now and then though.

Hope Nick finds whatever he is looking for.

Happydays, thanks for your sweet words, please come back anytime, I decided to just stick to Nick Fan forum, thanks!