Bachelorette 13 - Rachel Lindsay - Episode 9 - July 24 - *Sleuthing Spoilers*

Ilovepeter wrote:Does anyone remember what episode it was the Rachel said Bryan sees and accepts her flaws? That made me scratch my head at the time, because we saw nothing like that up until that point. She also said she's never been with someone that makes her feel like he's all in. If anyone remembers when these things happened, that would be great. I recall she was crying and emotional in those talking heads, and it didn't match up to what was happening in the scenes.  I'd like to watch it again and see if those are from her back and forth struggle with the two guys in the finale.

39:35

Ilovepeter wrote:I have accepted that Rachel has chosen Bryan and I'm genuinely happy for her because she is so happy. But I am deeply disappointed that she's blabbed to everyone, including this board, that she's with Bryan. Why would she tell her little Bachelor friends, all of whom are dying to be on TV and have the biggest chance of a slipping up? I'm not impressed with her ability to keep up the confidentiality portion of her contract given what she does for a living. JMO

You tell one person and they tell everyone, that could be the case here. However IA, Rachel has had a harder time keeping this secret than any other Bachelorette in recent memory. I don't think this would have been the case if she'd been with anyone else, she really found her fairytale love IMO.

For me Andi's season was the season of loose lips by the F2, the lead and f1 and also the other cast members on SM.
That was the season I complained about how SM is ruining the suspense incessantly. I got over it because TPTB love the SM aspect. Free publicity.

Emily's season 1f all but told us he was the f1 with his photograph near the FRc site with gps on. And his constant pictures at airports and at the SH also.

Kaitlin let the cat out of the bag with her snapchat snafu.

I don't see not much different in this season in comparison.

Would love for none of them to use SM till the finale but doubt that will happen. It's like asking them to cut off their hands by asking them to stay clear of SM.
Besides tptb love it for free publicity.
Never mind if SM has dragged reputations through the mud ( Jordan) or been the cause for stress hair fall ( Kaitlin).

sdmom wrote:I have two boys and I love them dearly.

So the more I think about it, the more confused I become:
Rachel can say proudly she's a daddy's girl (absolutely fine, no problem), I think she said that to Nick too. But if Bryan is a mama's boy, that's a bad thing?
Is this a culture/ gender stereotype that men should be strong and independent but girls can be spoiled rotten by daddy?
I really am

@sdmom I've thought about this same thing. IMO there is a double standard.

IMO "A daddy's girl" is typically seen as being endearing. It's not said as a slur. To me, it typically means that a daughter gets along well with, relates to, and admires her father. All good stuff. To me, that label has an air of innocence to it and may imply that daddy takes good care of his little princess (emotionally or financially). It focuses on a patriarchal relationship (father as the authority figure), but somehow the male parent/female (adult) child relationship is seen as being acceptable.

IMO "A mama's boy" is typically said as a put down or a slur. While it could be seen as the counterpart to the Daddy's girl definition, it is not. It could be seen to mean that a son gets along well with, relates to, and admires his mother, but it isn't interpreted that way. It is typically taken to mean that there is a matriarchal relationship (mother as the authority figure), and this dynamic of female parent/male (adult) child relationship is not seen as being acceptable. It is taken to mean that the mother is overly involved, overly influential, overly pushy in her views in a way that has stunted the male child's development.

To me, those are the 2 ways I see those labels most interpreted, and there is most certainly a double standard/different interpretation. As someone who has both a son and a daughter, it makes me a little sad to think that my daughter's great relationship with her father will be celebrated ("She's a daddy's girl!"), but my close relationship with my son might be frowned upon ("He's such a mama's boy!")

I truly believe that TPTB told the Lindsay's that Bryan was a mama's boy and that his mother played a part in his last break-up, etc. They wanted to make this a topic of discussion and to put the fears and concerns in the Lindsay's minds. It is always a valid concern that the 2 families will get along, and in this weird environment the Lindsay's are flying blind. This was just a way to stir the pot even more. I do not think it was that much of a concern once the topic was discussed and Bryan was given a chance to explain. IMO

IMO, there's nothing at all wrong with being a daddy's girl or a mummy's boy. That means you respect and love that person and that they are very important to you and you want them in your life alot. That's great - I considered myself a daddy's girl and I still miss him hugely after nearly 10 years. Hoewever, when you meet someone, get engaged, married, have your own children, the priority shifts, which doesn't mean that they your parent is any less important, just the priority that changes a bit. Hopefully, everyone can adjust to this shift and change and embrace it and welcome the new person in their child's life. I'm sure this will happen in Rachel and Bryan's case.

It doesn't work though when the new partner wants to be possessive.

Just Looking wrote:It doesn't work though when the new partner wants to be possessive.

Or the parent.

Sprite wrote:

Just Looking wrote:It doesn't work though when the new partner wants to be possessive.

Or the parent.

Yes of course. IMO, then it's up to the son/daughter to set the boundaries and hopefully it works out for all. I've never experienced this myself though. My daughter always said that she thought her brother was a "mummy's boy" when he was young and I know he still loves me heaps but he leads his own life and although at times I miss his company, as long as he's happy, I'm happy.

Who knows why she is overprotective like that? I would be interested to know why. But yes sometimes there are no reasons. I could also be a cultural thing.

I hope the couple will move out of Miami, it will be more healthy. And I think they will since Bryan put his condo for rent.

I think cutting the umbilical cord will be extremely healthy for everyone. And as soon as they will have a kid, things will be better.

jmo

I find all the concern about Bryan's "player status", insincerity, etc. honestly amusing. He's 37 years old and has dated for a couple of decades so he should know what he wants, how he wants it and how to get it. He is an absolute gem. How do we know that? Because in this age of tell me everything social media - all we get is a reality show from 13 years ago that means nothing to me, at all. I've said it before. I know 12 year olds with worse reps. This is Miami, Sin City part 2 and we've got lots of pictures of him and family, staff, his boys, a few girls. In other words, crickets. Compared to most, he's stellar, respectful, a good guy.
Rachel would be a fool to trade him for Peter. When she broke down in tears right in front of Peter, he gave her a pat on the shoulder. Run a Bryan response through the filter of your mind, real quick. He is a phenomenal find for Rachel. Best lover and companion through every pregnancy, headache and hiccup.
Anyone who wants a man like Peter - can have him. I have had no phase of my life beyond the age of 10 where he would be enough for me. When I look at him, I see a very attractive mannequin. I thrive on affection and consideration, demonstrative caring and intimacy. Peter depresses me. He looks worried that he might actually give a damn.
I'm happy for Big Rach. Assuming she and Bryan made it to the Fantasy Suite, I'm sure he proved he's a keeper.

:alltens:   I agree with every word of it!

Just Looking wrote:

pbmax wrote:

Amethyst wrote:Given that the lead will almost never pick whom I would pick anyway, this is what I look for --

1. That the lead picks a good, decent person. Given my reservations about Bryan, in this case I just hope that Rachel is seeing lots of good qualities in him that have somehow eluded me as a viewer.

2. That there is a love story. I think we have seen that here, give or take. I am going to hope for Rachel's sake that Bryan has been completely sincere with her.

3. And mostly, that I understand WHY the lead chose as s/he did, especially for the F4, and most especially for the F1. Sometimes I totally get it (i.e. Ben H.'s picks) and sometimes not. While I haven't always understood her decisions, Rachel, I think, has made it very clear about what she finds attractive in Bryan. She likes his looks, and finds him sexy. They are very companionable. They have fun together. She *loves* that fact that he is very ardent and assertive in his approach to her. She loves the fact that he very much wants her and is all in.

I know we all see different things on this show and I try to look pass their sneaky editing, but if you look at his face, his eyes, to me you see more of the person.  I see a genuine,  sweet,  caring person with good qualities. Especially during the MTP, I believe I saw a person I really like. If Rachel wants a oval ring and that's what she gets. ..I'm just so jealous of her, you go blessed girl. Everybody got flaws and a past and if we go by that then no one is gonna make, we all are doom. There are no perfect relationships or marriages out there.

IA 100% pbmax with your observations and comments on Bryan.  I see a mature, respectful, caring, genuine gentleman with good life and family values who is completely in love with and committed to Rachel.  To me they seem very compatible in every way and I hope she chooses him. As he has said, He was there for her even before he met her and he hasnt wavered at all.   JMO

This is what gives me the most pause about him. I can see being a fan of an athlete, tv/movie star, even politician. But we don't really know them. Bryan "knew" Rachel from her stint on Nick's season. TBTP have let us see that Rachel is lovely, smart, kind, funny, a real catch. But IMO, coming on night one like you are in love and ready to commit is almost like an arranged marriage. Or Fleiss' favorite fantasy, a version of Married at First Sight, but without any real matchmakers, only producers wanting drama. I had a bad "vibe" for lack of a better term about him. Maybe "douchebag"! I am disappointed we saw so little of their courtship on air. They refer to conversations which might flesh this out and let me "know" him and all the cast a bit better. I like what I see of Rachel. I want her to be happy. I hope that is what happens.

@pavalygurl Catherine came on Sean's season for Sean. Chris Sigfried came on Des's season for Des. Whitney came for Chris Soules. Shawn Booth came for Kaitlyn. So sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn't. I personally find Rachel very smart, so I am willing to trust her instincts. Though honestly, if they aren't forever, her joy through and now has been enough for me. JMO.