Nick Viall & Vanessa Grimaldi - Bachelor 21 - Discussion - #3

I guess I'm either blind or obstinate because I'm not seeing all the smoke others seem to be seeing.....  I really always wished nick would move to Montreal but that did not happen. So now I would actually be surprised if he were with Vanessa in Mtl. Every day she is there.... I think very few partners would know what to do with themselves for that amt of time. IMHO I do think he's trying to figure out his career path and yes that can be difficult, time consuming and almost self absorbing - so I cut him some slack. It's up to Vanessa how patient she is willing to be, and whether he gives her enough in other ways to merit that patience. I'm sure there are things about her that he has to be patient about as well.... Are they a good fit, ie do they complement each other temperament-wise? I could make a case both for and against. But the nick that we are talking about right now is the same nick whom we praised for handling dwts so beautifully and with such consideration for Vanessa. So I think he's hardly the cad I'm hearing described recently by some doubters, not just here but elsewhere.

Of course only time will tell. I'm crossing fingers that they really are ok enough, or else the q and a at Vanessa's event will be mighty awkward (ah yes, that explains the acting lessons, j/k ). All jmo.

Ps re sm..... Some were very concerned abt v's Beyoncé preoccupation, assuming she was referring to the lemonade album. But a further look at her twitter I believe showed she was listening at that time to destiny so child -era B.

Jane781 wrote:I don't think the birthday message from Nick's mom says anything one way or the other. However, I do think most of the things people consider "smoke" in this relationship aren't really smoke. For example, Nick's explanation of the plane story seems 100% valid to me. Also, I think they have a very different relationship than we are used to seeing with bachelor nation couples. So, people see them and interpret them as not being happy. Also, I don't see Nick as being particularly joyous or talkative when interacting with random people they encounter. That is just his personality, though. That doesn't mean he is miserable in the relationship. I personally think they are both still happy in the relationship at this point.  

ITA esp. the bolded. For me, what I consider 'smoke' is when the two parties involved do something instead of interpretations of other people. So when N&V start the unfollowing/refollowing dance on SM, spending weeks away from each other for no reason, etc. I would think there is cause for concern. Till then, I see no reason to believe that they are on the verge of a breakup.

All JMO

Nick, unlike other former cast members, doesn't care what others think. He has not been willing to share anything personal about their relationship. What they have given their fans are a few very sexy and provocative posts that are designed (imho) to tell us they're okay.

Since the paps gave them such a hard time on the last trip to Montreal, I doubt they will share much about their whereabouts this trip.

Jane781 wrote:I don't think the birthday message from Nick's mom says anything one way or the other. However, I do think most of the things people consider "smoke" in this relationship aren't really smoke. For example, Nick's explanation of the plane story seems 100% valid to me. Also, I think they have a very different relationship than we are used to seeing with bachelor nation couples. So, people see them and interpret them as not being happy. Also, I don't see Nick as being particularly joyous or talkative when interacting with random people they encounter. That is just his personality, though. That doesn't mean he is miserable in the relationship. I personally think they are both still happy in the relationship at this point.  

Thanks for this objective post.

People will see smoke if they want to see smoke. People will see sunshine and rainbows if they want to see sunshine and rainbows. I like both Nick and Vanessa as individuals and as a couple, but I'm not stanning them hard enough that I can't see the lack of effusiveness between them. I think it's a valid concern for people watching them. Personally, I don't think it's truly indicative of an imminent breakup. Thus far, the only way I've seen people reach that conclusion is by filling in the blanks (because Nick isn't sharing much and the tabloids haven't been providing sufficient information). The stories about N&V are so low on details that, I feel like, assumptions are being projected onto this nearly-blank slate.

I also think it's interesting how certain aspects of their relationship (the fact that they've moved in together since AFTR aired, got an apartment and car together, attended his sister's wedding, etc.) are wilfully ignored while third-party observations are magnified to perpetuate the negative preconceived notions. I don't think the "smoke" discussed here is mutually exclusive from the more reaffirming aspects of their relationship. Maybe there's some truth to it. It just seems so trivial (and baseless) in context.

I don't mean for this to be an attack on anyone, but I get the impression that some people here just want to be right about a relationship failing... I don't know if this is common in other couples' threads, and if so, that's really unfortunate. BTW, I'm not saying this because I expect any special treatment for any of the couples discussed here; I know the rules. I'm just surprised at some of the things I've read.

^ Good points. The “smoke” seems to mainly come from situations where someone like this Christina at Afterbuzz (known to despise  Nick) is refering to rumors from “a friend of a friend”, and this suddenly becomes a “reliable source”.
All JMO.

I even found myself thinking back to Vanessa's woman's intuition tweet, to which some tweeters replied with concern for the relationship. The intuition could well have been about anything other than nick, but even if it was about nick, it could easily have been an expression of concern perhaps that, from a distance, she'd picked up a sense he was physically unwell or lonely or 1000 other things having nothing to do with a breakup. As a mom those are the times my intuition kicks in most strongly for both my son and my hubby. Not saying this was the case here, just that assuming nick was cheating on her or anything like that would not have been my own personal first thought, jmo.

Other couples have moved in together, gone to family events together, and then broke up months later.

Think what's getting everyone wondering is if Nick is really busy in LA to not join Vanessa or if he just doesn't care to go to Montreal. jmo.

Great post @crunchycheeto. Agree with all of it. There are as many signs that things are good between them as bad IMO. I do see a lack of effusiveness between them, but I have to assume they are keeping that side of their relationship private on purpose. For one, Vanessa mentioned in that people video with the closet tour that Nick is very affectionate. Secondly, given the fact that all indications IMO appear to be that they are very honest and passionate people, I simply don't see either of them staying in a relationship without that present.

Though we are used to it from these couples, so it feels weird not to see it and I have my moments I question Nick and Vanessa's happiness as a result of not seeing it, it's pretty hard to argue that being effusive on social media is for anyone but the public. I get the feeling that they are going out of their way not to go that route. Just my opinion.

^ Once again, a solid post from stuck

I'm surprised they are still together...

I have no idea who posted first but I thought it was funny that Vanessa, Ashley I, and the twins all posted pics wearing the same dress on the same day.

I think Nick is as vain and self absorbed as ever. But Vanessa does seem to get him. They click. Perhaps Vanessa enjoys independence and I am sure when they are together Nick is quite charming. I remember Nick and Andi had really great interesting conversations and his focus was on her.

Whatever it is while I think Nick is lucky to have Vanessa, until they tell us otherwise I think they are okay. I could see public discomfort because Vanessa doesn't bother to hide her emotions. I like that about her.

All JMO.