Ben Higgins - Bachelor 20 - Discussion

Of course he's not gonna bash Lauren, it's Ben Higgins we're talking about. He's also not a douche. I just think he'll never really own up to his own flaws and hide them behind the "unlovable" curse.

That was thoughtful of him to email you back. One of the things I always liked about both ben and Lauren was that they would frequently respond to their emails from fans and send back video messages or kind words. There were so many that fans shared on Instagram and twitter. I hope they both continue to be as personable moving forward.

I think he's just ashamed of being himself fully because it'll make him unlovable so he has trouble being "real" and it also makes him a people pleaser. I'm hoping the best for him and that he finds the right girl, and together, grow in their relationship and make him feel more secure.

@hannah.e.

Aww that is so nice;

I always liked Ben. I just didn't think he was suited to this format.

When he wrote Kaitlyns name down to be Ette and not Britt's although he was initially attracted to Britt. But something drew him to Kaitlyn. I knew he had some edge to him.

He just doesn't know how to deal with what he really wants yet.

He will. He is a good kind person. Who is a bit immature yet.

He will get there.

He's a nice person Imo.

I just think he's not ready for a very serious relationship yet. And I do think he puts on a public front. Jmo

Even though Ben thought he was ready for marriage, he was not. I actually think if the two of them had not done another reality tv show, they may have had a better chance of making it through the rough time. I also think Lauren needed something worthwhile to occupy her time when she moved to Denver. Too bad she didn't continue flying as it would have allowed her to continue her professional life. Advice from couples who have successfully navigated the show into real life always say that getting back to your everyday life is key to making the relationship work.

I hate reading negative things about Ben and about Lauren suggesting one was selfish or the other needy or some other nonsense. Who knows? They gave it a good try and better to part with respect than to hold onto a dream that can never be true.

hannah.e. wrote:I emailed Ben an encouraging email the other day. Today he responded back saying he appreciated my positive email on a hard day. My email also included nice things about Lauren. You know what he said? He said he has nothing but love and respect for Lauren and sadly the rumors were true. He didn't need to read my email. He didn't need to respond back. He didn't need to include the part about Lauren when I'm the only one he's writing to. But he did. Genuine guy.

IMO, he's a genuine guy since his first appearance in Kaitlyn's season. I'm not a particular fan of his, simply because I think he's not interesting enough to make a good TV persona. I do think he's not perfect, but it's not like he's been saying this "tagline" himself, it was ABC's idea.

I like Ben and he seems to be a really good, genuine guy.  I am really bummed that they broke up because they obviously (IMO) really loved about each other. I think all of TB stuff really got in their heads and they let it tear them apart slowly.  They did try to get counseling and didn't just give up at the first sign of trouble.  I know I may be in the minority, but I think it would be great if they spent some time apart and got to really know themselves again and what they really want out of life.  Who knows, they might eventually discover that they still care for one another and want to try again.

You see that's the thing. If relationships are built on feelings of love then these two probably would have lasted. I never thought that they had a solid foundation upon which log lasting love could grow. They hardly laughed together. Lauren apparently didn't appreciate or understand his sense of humor. Ben seemed to never be at ease and just let loose around her - he seemed to want to do and day what pleased her (case in point JoJo's AFTR). At the end of the day, I don't think they met each other's needs. There are certain things that each other wanted and needed in a relationship and the other just couldn't deliver. So unless they do a complete 360 and change who they are and what they value in a relationship, I don't see a reconciliation happening. All JMO.

I don't see them getting back together. I think they are not compatible life partners. Jmho.

Mommyof2 wrote:I don't see them getting back together.  I think they are not compatible life partners.  Jmho.  

He!! they're not even compatible as friends and barely acquaintances based on their interests and how they choose to spend their time imo.

Alanna wrote:

Mommyof2 wrote:I don't see them getting back together.  I think they are not compatible life partners.  Jmho.  

He!! they're not even compatible as friends and barely acquaintances based on their interests and how they choose to spend their time imo.

This is why a foundation of friendship is so important to me in a relationship. How we gon' be together when I don't even like just being around you? Jmo.