Ben Higgins - Bachelor 20 - Discussion

Cila51290 wrote:He's good looking and "nice" but thatsss it. His sense of humor seems so dry. I like a man that can at least make me laugh. I would be pulling teeth if I were to live with him in that tiny house and have to hear "Honey! I'm home" every single day.
jmo

Whereas I would go crazy hearing everyday about working out and staring in the mirror taking blank eyed selfies. It goes both ways. They will each find someone they mesh with better and don't have to try to force happiness with. JMO.

hannah.e. wrote:

Seabear wrote:If Ben ends up back in a relationship with Shaelin it will prove that Ben used the show for self promotion only. The fact that Ben has followed Shaelin throughout his relationship with Lauren and Shaelin has followed both Ben and Lauren's ex shows me how shady both Ben and Shaelin are. If Ben and Shaelin get back together Ben will prove how phony and manipulative he is...IMO.
Imo Ben and Lauren never had a chance because Ben was never truly invested in the relationship. Ben cares first and formost about Ben. IMO Ben see's himself as some saintly humble servant of God and yet he immerses himself in promoting a decidedly secular podcast. Fortunately Ben's ego and self promotion are showing his true colors and the phony Ben/10 facade is slipping away. IMO Ben is very calculated and hypocritical.
JMO

So you're saying if Ben got back together with his college girlfriend that means he never loved Lauren and never had the intention of making it work? Shaelin and Ben have been following each on IG for a long time, Ben rarely likes her posts, she likes his kind of often but she has a boyfriend anyways. I'm confused as to where the shadiness and manipulation from Ben comes in??

Yep! 100% that is what I am saying.

I think Lauren really loved Ben and Ben loved the idea of Lauren and finding his "wife" on TV as Ben 10. Ben never was fully committed to Lauren or the relationship IMO.
I would venture a guess that Ben is in closer communication with Shaelin than SM indicates. I think Shaelin is just waiting for Shaelin and Ben 2.0 the famous Ben edition. I also think Shaelin would drop her current BF in a hot second if she is actually even still with him.
IMO Ben never was going to find his wife on TV and poor Lauren got dragged into the relationship fiasco because she believed the platitudes of love that Ben was spouting. Unfortunately Lauren learned the hard way that Ben says things he thinks sound good and in reality has no intention of following through with when the cameras and microphones are off. When it comes to healthy and respectful romantic love Ben has a lot to learn and a ton of maturing to do IMO. Ben will carefully plan his next relationship move to try to follow the script he thinks will present him in the way he likes to be  unquestionably adored preceived.
All JMO

Seabear wrote:

hannah.e. wrote:

Seabear wrote:If Ben ends up back in a relationship with Shaelin it will prove that Ben used the show for self promotion only. The fact that Ben has followed Shaelin throughout his relationship with Lauren and Shaelin has followed both Ben and Lauren's ex shows me how shady both Ben and Shaelin are. If Ben and Shaelin get back together Ben will prove how phony and manipulative he is...IMO.
Imo Ben and Lauren never had a chance because Ben was never truly invested in the relationship. Ben cares first and formost about Ben. IMO Ben see's himself as some saintly humble servant of God and yet he immerses himself in promoting a decidedly secular podcast. Fortunately Ben's ego and self promotion are showing his true colors and the phony Ben/10 facade is slipping away. IMO Ben is very calculated and hypocritical.
JMO

So you're saying if Ben got back together with his college girlfriend that means he never loved Lauren and never had the intention of making it work? Shaelin and Ben have been following each on IG for a long time, Ben rarely likes her posts, she likes his kind of often but she has a boyfriend anyways. I'm confused as to where the shadiness and manipulation from Ben comes in??

Yep! 100% that is what I am saying.

I think Lauren really loved Ben and Ben loved the idea of Lauren and finding his "wife" on TV as Ben 10. Ben never was fully committed to Lauren or the relationship IMO.
I would venture a guess that Ben is in closer communication with Shaelin than SM indicates. I think Shaelin is just waiting for Shaelin and Ben 2.0 the famous Ben edition. I also think Shaelin would drop her current BF in a hot second if she is actually even still with him.
IMO Ben never was going to find his wife on TV and poor Lauren got dragged into the relationship fiasco because she believed the platitudes of love that Ben was spouting. Unfortunately Lauren learned the hard way that Ben says things he thinks sound good and in reality has no intention of following through with when the cameras and microphones are off. When it comes to healthy and respectful romantic love Ben has a lot to learn and a ton of maturing to do IMO. Ben will carefully plan his next relationship move to try to follow the script he thinks will present him in the way he likes to be  unquestionably adored preceived.
All JMO

I think Ben went into this show with good intentions and very hopeful, but I don't think Lauren did. From an interview she did...

One evening last summer, Lauren’s roommate joked that Lauren should go on The Bachelor. Lauren says she only half-seriously filled out an online application.
“It was literally 5 minutes. Two photos, name, height, weight, why you want to be on The Bachelor. They called me the next day. I hesitantly went into the office since I was local in LA. But then I met some really cool people. It wasn’t what I thought it would be.”
Lauren soon found herself cast for the show. Her family and friends were amazed.
“It was surreal. It wasn’t something I always wanted or could have seen myself doing. It was so out of left field. I didn’t pack for the show until the night before,” she says. “I kept thinking I might back out.” Source:https://blog.alaskaair.com/alaska-airlines/people/the-bachelor-lauren-b/

IMO, someone going on the show to truly find love wouldn't have applied as a joke and would have been excited about the opportunity once they got cast. IMO, Lauren was not ready to be engaged at all. IMO, Ben was ready to settle down and he thought Lauren was the one because of the BS she said during the show. She acted like the girl next door and claimed she wanted the simple things. LOL.

Get in line. None of them IMHO initially apply to find love and get married. Lauren is no exception. We have seen comments like that a cuzillion times.

Most people sign out to do the show as a joke, or their friends submit their info. There's 1/30 chance the lead picks you, and you can't be obsessing over him from the get go.

Lauren Imo clearly fell for Ben and his bs lines he never intended to keep. He was and is looking for fame, IMO, and his increasing number of public shows are a proof of that. His previous job still provides him a nice setting to fall back on, but Imo his aspirations are in fame and getting his face out there. Imo his own actions prove this. Jmo.

I don't believe for a minute that Ben was ready to settle down. I think he wanted viewers to think that but his actions prove to me that he wasn't and isn't ready to settle down. He's far too self-absorbed and immature and needs to grow up first IMO.

Cocoasneeze wrote:Most people sign out to do the show as a joke, or their friends submit their info. There's 1/30 chance the lead picks you, and you can't be obsessing over him from the get go.

Lauren Imo clearly fell for Ben and his bs lines he never intended to keep. He was and is looking for fame, IMO, and his increasing number of public shows are a proof of that. His previous job still provides him a nice setting to fall back on, but Imo his aspirations are in fame and getting his face out there. Imo his own actions prove this. Jmo.

And IMO, he fell for Lauren's BS lines about who she is and what she wanted.

sweeti810 wrote:

Cocoasneeze wrote:Most people sign out to do the show as a joke, or their friends submit their info. There's 1/30 chance the lead picks you, and you can't be obsessing over him from the get go.

Lauren Imo clearly fell for Ben and his bs lines he never intended to keep. He was and is looking for fame, IMO, and his increasing number of public shows are a proof of that. His previous job still provides him a nice setting to fall back on, but Imo his aspirations are in fame and getting his face out there. Imo his own actions prove this. Jmo.

And IMO, he fell for Lauren's BS lines about who she is and what she wanted.

What bs lines? What didn't she follow through with? She moved to Denver to his home , befriended his friends, joined his charity trips, his church, his everything. She lost her job due to being recognized on flights. She started a new job, or at least tried it out. All this she did in a span of a year. What else was she supposed to do to show, that she wanted to make and build a life with Ben in Denver? . Ben wanted to do HEA more eagerly than Lauren, from their interviews. So this humble life she tried to settle into with him wasn't what he wanted. He wanted another reality show. Then he pulled away a wedding very publicly, on that same show. But Lauren was the one who didn't want a simple life with Ben? Jmo

IMO, neither of them want a simple, quiet life away from the attention or spotlight.  One seems to be laying low, which I have to say it's a nice, pleasant surprise.  While the other well, he just needs to learn when to sit down and be quiet, IMO.

At some point down the road, they'll both mature, grow and find the one for them, IMO.  

JMO

Huh? Lauren's answer for how/why she ended up on the show is basically everyone's canned answer. I would side eye any wacko that says "I'm totally here only to find actual long lasting love, and I'm already in love with the lead!" Cause, yeah right.

And Ben went on the Bachelorette with pure full intentions to marry Kaitlyn. Sure.
JMO

Seabear wrote:And Ben went on the Bachelorette with pure full intentions to marry Kaitlyn. Sure.
JMO

Exactly. And he chose to remain on the show because he so desperately wanted to marry Kaitlyn even though he already knew about Shawn and Kaitlyn doing "stuff" while he was in the shower and had to sleep on the little cot while Shawn got the big bed. No doubt Ben had the purest of intentions for sure  jmo