Lauren Bushnell - Bachelor 20 - Discussion - #6

Seabear wrote:

sweeti810 wrote:

bleuberry wrote:If he's that naive after all this time  then he needs to stick to his day job IMO.

Why would he ever think they would splice together the two in order to create a ridiculous comic out of if?! It's not a show watched by MILLIONS. It's a stupid podcast. IMO, IHeartRadio is DESPERATE. Also, IMO, it's not embarrassing at all to Lauren. It makes Ben look pathetic.

Ben is pathetic IMO.  The thoughtless, classless, careless way he has publicly handled the breakup highlights the phony Ben I have seen for the last several months. The iheart cartoon video is a disgrace IMO.  IMO Ben is an emotionally immature, self involved, pandered too little Prince only child Mommas Boy. Ben is all about displaying an image to the public but IRL very clueless and unapolegetic of the hurt that his thoughtless behavior inflicts on people he claims to care about.  
This is me if we get a Ben 2.0. :shootme:  I have a better idea.....Ben should definitely go into politics.....he is perfect for it.  

Thankfully Lauren and her family are moving on from the chapter of Ben being part of their family. Hopefully a mature man who knows what he wants will enter Lauren's life and they will mutually cherish each other. I wish Lauren and the Bushnell's happiness!

All JMO

agreed. now that I have a chance to evaluate this, I am really glad they didn't get married in February. It would have been a mess.

Seabear wrote:I think both Lauren and Ben are decent people BUT I would choose the Bushnell's over the Higgins 10 out of 10 times.

Agreed. Something about the Higgins rubs me the wrong way. I think Amy H is probably A LOT to handle as a mother-in-law. jmo

sweeti810 wrote:

sosleepy wrote:Hey - I'm fine with Ben getting engaged on the show. They all do. I'm even fine with him proposing a second time when he was "in the glow" of it all. I'm also ok with him deciding after time, Lauren wasn't the one and maybe he didn't want this after all.

Where he loses me was his willingness and wanting to do HEA, a television show literally billed to be his wedding journey in the first place. Then, even more agregious, freaking AGREEING to and setting a date on said show. That's where he loses me. That's how I become team Lauren. Grow some balls dude. Don't agree to this kind of $hit to begin with if you even have a sliver of a doubt, which he must have. Then, grow a second pair and tell producers to shove it when he filmed that fake therapy and took the wedding away on prime time television.

IMO, when they signed up for HEA, they really did go into it without any doubt. I think they believed it would document their fairytale ending, but life happened and obviously it didn't goes as planned. IMO, Ben calling off the wedding seemed more like it was postponed off, not off off. Ben said he did want to marry her, he just wanted to get to know her better. What is wrong with that? IMO, the reason Lauren was sad/upset about slowing down is because she knew postponing it would mean no big ABC wedding.

Ben was all BS during that therapy giving Lauren empty hope and promises . What I hate the most about that part than Ben calling off the wedding because he waned to know Lauren more and he thought there were still a lot things they didn't know about each other, which is fine but than PERFECT Ben had to go and give Lauren false hopes and promises of how he is definitely going to be her Husband and she his wife . He is never letting her go from his life blah blah. At one point he is saying he doesn't know Lauren well enough to marry her and the minute after that he makes those promises. If he claimed to not knowing Lauren than how can he promise her of the future that she is the one. That was the most annoying and cruel part . IMO He could have just left with wanting more time to know her but he can never stop his mouth giving verbal diarrhoea. IMO that proves how immature and indecisive he is and how he needs to work on himself before jumping into next relationship if he wants to make it work.JMO

Ben apparently sucks and is terrible. I don't know, because I didn't watch. Apparently, once they stopped doing home construction with the twins, camping with Chad, and renaissance fair attending they did have real conversations.

This is only from what I read about HEA, but everytime Ben hesitated or showed doubt Lauren would pout. And then Ben would give in and go along. Perhaps all his false platitudes were part of their already toxic dynamic. He had just given in before to what Lauren wanted, so when he finally stood up and did not give in, he coated it in platitudes to try to make it better. It doesn't excuse him not being brave enough to just say the truth, but I don't know if at HEA filming time if "perfect" Ben had been honest with himself that they weren't good for each other. It can be very hard to be that honest with yourself. And let's face it, Ben has never been a brutally honest self reflective guy.

And I am sorry, but Ben being wishy washy doesn't excuse Lauren's drunken partying. If he needs to own up to his flaws she does too. Lauren's body and looks obsession, pouting to get her way, then drunken partying are things she needs to own. They both need to accept their flaws without blaming the other if they are truly to move forward and find what is better for them.

And Ben has always travelled a lot. I remember being surprised how much he travelled at the beginning of their relationship. Perhaps the lack of travel the last couple months was staying out of her way. I got the impression that Ben was not invited to most of her activities.

All JMO.

Sorry for the double post, but all the talk of Ben's hissy fits over the house make me laugh. My hubby and I are building a house, but the builders have certain things we can chose. So we had tan walls at our own house and I wanted a change this time. So I showed him the blue-grey color at the preview viewing a month before we made the choice. He pouted and complained about me taking his tan away from him, then when it was time to chose he picked out my color without complaint. Same thing for the granite. I wanted a fancy kitchen backsplash, he hated it, so I gave in because he did not grow comfortable with it. We have been together and learned to grow and give to each other. So I am sorry, but I think Ben and Lauren needed to learn each other's rhythms, but never got there. And oh yeah, I did moved from my dream job, living in the same city with my best friend to go take a job that was miserable, living in a place I had already lived in and hated to be with him. So sorry, but Lauren really didn't give up a job for him, and Denver had her friend and god daughter, so
I just don't feel bad for Lauren on those issues.

Again all JMO.

Ultimately I think Ben needs someone like his mom, a coddler at heart. Like a Tenley. JMO.

bleuberry wrote:Ultimately I think Ben needs someone like his mom, a coddler at heart. Like a Tenley. JMO.

Not Ashley per say, but someone like Ashley who will worrship him and sing his platitudes 24/7/364 days a year.

@bleuberry I agree. He is an only child and will always be in the mold regardless of maturity. I don't mean this as a slam. He is used to being the focus. He needs a nurturer. The problem being it takes a certain type of woman to share a man with his mother and possibly share equal status with that woman for life. That is not an easy role.

@stuckinsc Can't speak for everyone, but I don't think "Ben sucks and is terrible." In fact, I think he is one of the better people to come out of this show, in general.

I just think he's immature, image conscious, politician like, and yes, made a million mistakes in this relationship, and as someone who watched closely, every single step of the way, hurt Lauren countless times and that got hard to watch.

Also, on HEA whenever Ben was hesitating, I think you are missing the mark about Lauren. She was always incredibly, INCREDIBLY patient with him and understood he needed to get to that place on his own. When he was hesitant about taking the offer to begin with, she was patient and didn't push it. He got there on his own. When he got all worked up about planning, she never harped on him - again, patient. When he ultimately cancelled the wedding - again, she handled that with a ton of grace and maturity on screen. You could tell she was devastated, but she stated empathetically Ben had to be ready and she couldn't force that. Just my read on the situation. HEA made me feel sorry for Lauren. Made me lose quite a bit of my adoration for Ben. JMO.

I don't remember Lauren pouting, more like ignoring Ben's hesitations, which I can't really blame her for, since Ben seems permanently overwhelmed by everything. Even his mom said he needs to be talked off the ledge and that's kind of what Lauren was doing by talking him into things and ignoring his whining. I don't see how it's her or anyone else's fault that Ben can't manage to be honest about his feelings, at least not without serious sugar coating with meaningless platitudes. It takes less effort to not spout that nonsense. JMO.

Kashathediva wrote:@bleuberry I agree. He is an only child and will always be in the mold regardless of maturity. I don't mean this as a slam. He is used to being the focus. He needs a nurturer. The problem being it takes a certain type of woman to share a man with his mother and possibly share equal status with that woman for life. That is not an easy role.

I agree. Ben will need a woman who can be the nurturer and honestly even the talk Ben out of his moodiness. Mamma Higgins said as much at MTP. Be. Is not perfect, he is a flawed individual like anyone else. The right person will help him with those flaws. JMO.

sosleepy wrote:@stuckinsc Can't speak for everyone, but I don't think "Ben sucks and is terrible." In fact, I think he is one of the better people to come out of this show, in general.

I just think he's immature, image conscious, politician like, and yes, made a million mistakes in this relationship, and as someone who watched closely, every single step of the way, hurt Lauren countless times and that got hard to watch.

Also, on HEA whenever Ben was hesitating, I think you are missing the mark about Lauren. She was always incredibly, INCREDIBLY patient with him and understood he needed to get to that place on his own. When he was hesitant about taking the offer to begin with, she was patient and didn't push it. He got there on his own. When he got all worked up about planning, she never harped on him - again, patient. When he ultimately cancelled the wedding - again, she handled that with a ton of grace and maturity on screen. You could tell she was devastated, but she stated empathetically Ben had to be ready and she couldn't force that. Just my read on the situation. HEA made me feel sorry for Lauren. Made me lose quite a bit of my adoration for Ben. JMO.

mindless wrote:I don't remember Lauren pouting, more like ignoring Ben's hesitations, which I can't really blame her for, since Ben seems permanently overwhelmed by everything. Even his mom said he needs to be talked off the ledge and that's kind of what Lauren was doing by talking him into things and ignoring his whining. I don't see how it's her or anyone else's fault that Ben can't manage to be honest about his feelings, at least not without serious sugar coating with meaningless platitudes. It takes less effort to not spout that nonsense. JMO.

I
Didn't watch HEA, the Lauren pouting until she got her way was the observations of the people watching and writing articles about the show. Not from here. Again, I did not watch and this opinion is one
That I read in many articles on HEA after the postponing of the wedding. Not opinions from here. Now maybe it is the press loving Ben or maybe it was their opinion. I tend to think
The truth lies somewhere in the middle, as it usually does. JMO.

*edit* Imo I didn't see Lauren pouting either,  she was extremely patient with Ben, who Imo spouted a lot of bs to sugarcoat his real feelings and imo led Lauren on a lot.

I'm giving her props for laying low and hanging around with her loved ones. She's been really quiet on all fronts, I'm hoping it does her good.