Ben Higgins - Lauren Bushnell - Bachelor 20 - Discussion - #8

^ Yeah, that post was very dumb and insincere knowing that they were having problems for months, and were essentially already broken up by that point. IMO.

Agree to disagree I suppose. People were calling her anorexic, a ****, selfish and self absorbed at the time when he posted that. Her friend Megan also posted a picture defending Lauren and Ben 'liked' that post. I'm sure he doesn't want her to be attacked and hated on. Doesn't matter that they were already done at that point, IMO. I think it shows he still cares for her as a person. I'd rather have an ex like that than someone who's going to drag me through the mud on SM.

^ I definitely think he SHOULD have posted something to defend her, but the part about "my girl" and the heart cat eyes was too much. The post went from something sweet to something romantic with those last few words/emojis. IMO.

I agree I wanted him to defend her all along and finally he did but it was too late. The ending with my girl and heart emojis is what had me shaking my head.

Ben has a lot of maturing to do before he even thinks about being engaged again. He is good looking, well spoken, but it is all about Ben and at this point in his life, I do not think he has any concept of what it is like to sacrifice and work as a team. He is still an only child/mama's boy and everything was great as long as Lauren followed his lead and he got what he wanted. Immediately after the finale aired and they went back to Indiana for a week - I could not believe he expected her to spend an entire week with his family. At least her family joined them, but still that is asking a lot of a fiance.

I think this experience will help him mature and grow up.

Mgrissom wrote:Ben has a lot of maturing to do before he even thinks about being engaged again.  He is good looking, well spoken, but it is all about Ben and at this point in his life, I do not think he has any concept of what it is like to sacrifice and work as a team.  He is still an only child/mama's boy and everything was great as long as Lauren followed his lead and he got what he wanted.  Immediately after the finale aired and they went back to Indiana for a week - I could not believe he expected her to spend an entire week with his family.  At least her family joined them, but still that is asking a lot of a fiance.

I think this experience will help him mature and grow up.

I agree. He's a good guy, but nowhere near ready for a marriage or a serious relationship. He needs to date around a bit, but Imo he's too tied up to the image he thinks he should portray as a Christian man, and won't be able to date around. Jmo

@Mgrissom why shouldnt lauren be expected to spend time with his family when he spent an ample amount of time with hers?

hae1001 wrote:@Mgrissom why shouldnt lauren be expected to spend time with his family when he spent an ample amount of time with hers?

He did spend time with her family. What seemed very strange to me, was the immediate trip to small town Indiana for a week after the finale. Mother/daughter-in-law relationships are tough (I know mine was) and for Lauren to immediately go and spend an entire week in his mother's home had to be difficult. all my opinion of course.

Mgrissom wrote:

hae1001 wrote:@Mgrissom why shouldnt lauren be expected to spend time with his family when he spent an ample amount of time with hers?

He did spend time with her family.  What seemed very strange to me, was the immediate trip to small town Indiana for a week after the finale.  Mother/daughter-in-law relationships are tough (I know mine was) and for Lauren to immediately go and spend an entire week in his mother's home had to be difficult.  all my opinion of course.

They both have said how family oriented they are, plus Lauren's parents came to Indiana too. They all stayed in Ben's parents house together. IMO, that bonding time was necessary and they were all probably excited to do it after having to keep quiet while the show was airing.

Mommyof2 wrote:

lovebites8727 wrote:Lauren and Her BFF Amanda together in California .


http://people.com/style/lauren-bushnell-modeling-photos/?xid=socialflow_twitter_peoplestyle

Wow.  Whoa.  Yikes.  These are not good modeling photos.  Her spread legs.  The dead eyes.  She is way too skinny.  Sorry, but she is.  She looks sickly to me.  There, I said it.  

Those photos are unintentionally hilarious. They just look amateur in every way. They remind me of when high schoolers pay someone to take "artsy" pictures of them and then post them to instagram so they can pretend that they're "models". This shoot looks exactly like what it is: Two D-list reality stars who are desperate to be famous and think they're a big deal playing dress up with the clothes from their friend's shop.

Ben seems to be taking a lot of the blame, but I don't think his "immaturity" was the problem in this relationship. I think he did have every intention of settling down and getting married, but the more he got to know Lauren, the more he realized he didn't want to marry HER. And with good reason, if the way she was portrayed on the show and the way she portrays herself on social media are even remotely accurate. She and Ben seem to have very different priorities. And really, the only immaturity I saw in this relationship was from her side. Her social media posts show that she seems to thrive on juvenile, passive aggressive, attention-seeking behavior that most people her age have long outgrown. I also didn't see Ben spending nearly as much time with his parents as Lauren was spending partying and vacationing with her sister and friends.

[quote="tiger"][quote="Mommyof2"]

lovebites8727 wrote:

Ben seems to be taking a lot of the blame, but I don't think his "immaturity" was the problem in this relationship. I think he did have every intention of settling down and getting married, but the more he got to know Lauren, the more he realized he didn't want to marry HER. And with good reason, if the way she was portrayed on the show and the way she portrays herself on social media are even remotely accurate. She and Ben seem to have very different priorities. And really, the only immaturity I saw in this relationship was from her side. Her social media posts show that she seems to thrive on juvenile, passive aggressive, attention-seeking behavior that most people her age have long outgrown. I also didn't see Ben spending nearly as much time with his parents as Lauren was spending partying and vacationing with her sister and friends.

You bring up some potentially valid points. But if the bolded is the case, why agree to HEA, a show literally meant to document his wedding journey to this woman? Why put yourself in that situation? And then once in said situation, why not find a better way to back out of said wedding? Why tell two wome he loved them, not apologize, then propose TWICE and make grandstanding public promises that in retrospect were so immature. All of the above showcases Ben's immaturity and careless nature with which he handled Lauren's feelings.

sosleepy wrote:

tiger wrote:

Mommyof2 wrote:

You bring up some potentially valid points. But if the bolded is the case, why agree to HEA, a show literally meant to document his wedding journey to this woman? Why put yourself in that situation? And then once in said situation, why not find a better way to back out of said wedding? Why tell two wome he loved them, not apologize, then propose TWICE and make grandstanding public promises that in retrospect were so immature. All of the above showcases Ben's immaturity and careless nature with which he handled Lauren's feelings.

At the time he and Lauren agreed to do the show, he was probably still in the honeymoon phase of the engagement and truly couldn't imagine NOT marrying Lauren. During or before filming, maybe he came to the realization that he was having second thoughts. Who knows what his contractual obligations were? It's likely that even if he did confide in someone and tell them he had cold feet and didn't want to go through with the show or the wedding, he was contractually obligated to participate. We also don't know what went on behind the scenes. Maybe he did tell Lauren privately that he wanted to postpone the wedding. I don't think she was anywhere near as blindsided as she claimed to be. Even if he hadn't flat out told her he wanted to postpone the wedding off-camera, on-camera, Ben had mentioned repeatedly that he was was uncomfortable and wanted to slow things down, and every time he did, she pouted, belittled him, brushed him off, and steamrolled right ahead with her wedding planning. Ending an engagement to someone who cares more about seeking fame and attention than making your relationship work isn't careless or immature.