Ben Higgins - Lauren Bushnell - Bachelor 20 - Discussion - #8

^^ Agreed. Lots of reasons I think Bachelorette has higher (almost decent) success odds, and that is right up at the top of the list.

I agree, but I also think that the Bachelors have picked more based on the woman they're most physically attracted to, whereas with the Ettes, there's a baseline "yes or no" and then they sort on connection/personality. And the 'ettes that focus too much on the shallow (see Andi) don't seem to last with their F1. Or where the F1 wasn't the woman's real F1 (see Ali, Deanna).

Whereas, if you look at pretty much all of the men, they picked the woman they were most attracted to (and I'm including Nick for now in this lot). I get the sense that even Jason ended up picking Melissa because he thought she was hotter than Molly, even if he and Molly actually had the better connection. I don't think Ben was wrong at all to pick Lauren out of his bunch, but I'm not sure their relationship ever really got deep beyond the fact that he was smitten with her from their meeting and that was that. (FWIW, I don't think it would have worked out if he went with JoJo either and it was all physical there too. Same goes for Caila).

It will be interesting to see what happens with both of them dating-wise next. Or if either of them do another franchise show (be it BIP, Ben 2.0, or the new winter challenge show). Obviously Ben's still in the game with the podcast and Lauren seems to be really tied into Bachelor Nation, so we will see...

kimberlyg wrote:I don't think Ben was wrong at all to pick Lauren out of his bunch, but I'm not sure their relationship ever really got deep beyond the fact that he was smitten with her from their meeting and that was that. (FWIW, I don't think it would have worked out if he went with JoJo either and it was all physical there too. Same goes for Caila).

I agree with the bolded above. Revisiting his season, I don't think any of his top 4-5 would've been successful in the long run (as someone previously stated in a post). I was thinking that Olivia might've been a good fit for him -- she was very focused on him and wanted to be his champion during the season -- but post-show she's proven to be pretty industrious and ambitious.

I wouldn't go so far as to say a "Stepford wife" but IMO Ben needs someone who is going to be his biggest cheerleader and let him be the center of attention/focus. While I think he admires strong and independent women, I don't think he wants Ms Independent as a girlfriend/wife. And that's why I don't think a Ben 2.0 in the near future would be any more successful than his first go round. He needs a girl who only wants to focus on Ben until he feels safe and secure. Definitely NOT spending a great deal of time developing a post-show fashion line, courting hosting gigs or book deals, or launching a modeling career, etc... And that's okay - different strokes, for different folks.

Ben post-show surprised me quite a bit...but all this is IMO, I really have no idea about any of these people!

I think the successful bachelorettes have seemed happy to move and focus on their relationships to make things work. The activities of being in bachelor nation seem like extras after their focus on their relationships. The unsuccessful bachelorettes and bachelors in general and their F1s have seemed to focus on the extras stuff more than the relationship. They never truly seemed to take the time away and just focus on themselves as a couple that we have seen Trista and Ryan, Ashley and JP, Jason and Molly, Des and Chris, and even Kaitlyn and Shawn do. The relationship needs to be the focus, not the travel and appearances and the oversharing. Sean and Catherine are an exception to this, but while their relationship works for them I don't like them or understand their connection.

IMO, Ben and Lauren while staying busy with travel, appearances, then filming the new show also started to see that neither of them was who the other thought them to be. With enough time and focus on just them maybe they could have worked through it, but at the end of it all I think the struggle became unworth the amount of effort it was taking for each of them.

This is all JMO.

See, I think the travel is okay where the couple does it together because it gives them time to focus on each other and get to know each other. Kaitlyn/Shawn, Des/Chris and JoJo/Jordan have had various points in their relationships, particularly towards the beginning, where they were traveling all of the time; and I'd consider those three relationships successful.

Oddly, Ben/Lauren both seem to like travel, but they seem to like different types of travel. And most of their travel early on seemed to be related to random appearances, as opposed to the more travel blog or fun-couple-y type of travel that the other couples seem to do. Just another reason they just didn't really work out. HEA didn't help, but I don't think it would have mattered in the end.

Looking back on Ben's season, I'm thinking that none of the girls would be what Ben needs... unless there was someone we didn't get to know because he sent them home on night 1 or the next week. A lot of the girls from his season are entrenched in BN or as North said above "pretty industrious or ambitious" (Olivia and Caila). Heck, most of BIP last summer were the girls from his season looking for their next 15 minutes of fame.

The was someone there he needed but he send her home. IMHO he is not mature enough yet when in his 30's then he will see what he truly needs. I see a little bit of Nick in Ben.

I have to ask, why oh why did Ben post that last black and white picture of him and Lauren defending her and end it with cat heart eye emoji's saying my girl got me like ...

I mean from wat we're hearing she was already moving her stuff. This is what my problem is with Ben, it's a facade half of the time. Feel however you will about Lauren, she's straight up. Even on happily ever you saw Ben step in front of the cameras and put on a front when they were having issues with the wedding and Lauren would look at him and be like how can you do that so easily?

The perfect example of the way Ben is is the clip from Jojo's after the final rose. When Ben answered something and asked Lauren how it was and she simply said it was good. He acted like a 2 year old. I think as good of a guy he is, because I do think he's one, he's just a lot of work!

reason wrote:The was someone there he needed but he send her home. IMHO he is not mature enough yet when in his 30's then he will see what he truly needs.  I see a little bit of Nick in Ben.

Would love to know your thoughts..please share! Is it Jen? I thought about her but then discounted her because she went for Nick on BIP. My reasoning was that if she liked Nick, then Ben wasn't her type (too vanilla). But then again, I know nothing about these people...just like reading the speculation, thoughts and opinions on the board.

@North He needed spice that is all I will say.  He was not mature enough to handle the person.  Yes he was attracted to the person. Sometimes risk brings great reward.

I interpreted the cat eye emojis as an inside joke. After they were able to go public someone asked him what he put her in his phone as he said jungle cat emoji. Idk.

SeekAny wrote:I have to ask, why oh why did Ben post that last black and white picture of him and Lauren defending her and end it with cat heart eye emoji's saying my girl got me like ...

I did a major side eye when I read that caption. Here we are with their official break up. That post in itself is quite laughable and just shows how much of a bullsh*ter Ben really is. All about the image and what will make people see him in heart eyes.