Vanessa Grimaldi - Bachelor 21 - *Sleuthing Spoilers* #5

crunchycheeto wrote: War is over, folks; pack it up and go home.
I just don't think this continued animosity is worth anyone's time.

(snipped) second that.

Miss Ramos wrote:

ReneeM wrote:

Miss Ramos wrote:@ReneeM You are 100% right. You understand Rachel because you would act like her...The person I am..I would react like Vanessa because I hate having problems with anyone and I like fixing things. So nobody is right or wrong in that situation...!

From jump I said I didn't think either of them were wrong in the way the argument unfolded, but it feels like more importance is being placed on Vanessa's personality type as if Rachel's feelings are somehow less important. Why is it up to Rachel to cater to Vanessa's feelings? If Rachel's feelings are that she doesn't want to associate with V, from the other side, why couldn't V just leave it alone? (I'm not posing this question directly to anyone, it's just my train of thought).

@Kashathediva I think her not saying anything is her being neutral IMO. Watching the entire season and following her after, Rachel's feelings are always written on her face, the girl (woman) cannot hide how she feels, it's reflex. I'm the exact same way, even when I actively try (which sometimes she did, and sometimes she didn't), I always give myself away.

All JMO.

@ReneeM Nobody said that Rachel's feelings were less important. Rachel and Vanessa are just 2 completely different persons. And they react differently to situations. It all depends of your personnality. Maybe Vanessa wanted to resolve the problem because that is the person she is. I'm the same. I hate confrontations and arguments. For God Sake...Even when somebody hurts me I try to fix things    (sorry if I can't explain myself too well...My first language is french) Rachel didn't have to cater but I don't respect the fact that the show has been wrapped for 3 months and she is still holding a grudge. You don't have to talk to her but don't tell people on your instagram live that you don't like her. It's like she is bringing the drama again...But that is JMO

You've expressed yourself perfectly, I understand completely where you're coming from. I don't blame Vanessa for wanting to resolve the situation, especially because Rachel's friends with everyone else there, so her distaste would have been pretty glaring. I just don't think Rachel should be villianized for not wanting to go there with her. If the story is true, I also understand why Vanessa would want to confide in Nick, I don't blame her for that. But if I were in Rachel's shoes, any chance of friendliness would be gone between us would be gone after that. IMO without her going to Nick, I think Rachel and V would've been cordial post show. I can understand Vanessa's PoV from an outsider's perspective, but I know if I was in Rachel's shoes, I'd act the same way. Idk about the other girls but I don't think it's blown out of proportion on Rachel's end, because if I think you're a snake, especially if I think you snaked me, DASSIT for any type of relationship between us. I probably would've answered that IG question too, even though I still think she shouldn't have. All JMO.

@cocoasneeze, I would 'like' your comment numerous times if I could.

Hi sleuthers,just wondering if anyone has seen Vs latest snapchat Instagram of a little boy playing drums? I noticed in the right of the screen looked to be an orange piece of furniture? Maybe my imagination?

It's the post-show stuff that speaks volumes to me. If Rachel thinks Vanessa is fake and thus sees Vanessa as tweeting congrats as fake then that is on Rachel IMO and how she chooses to view things post-season - which to me is immature and as someone who took Nick to her church, what happened to forgiveness or grace? Or is that something only "perfect" people do? I thought it was something imperfect people do because they can relate to mistakes themselves. Is "keeping it real" just writing someone off entirely over something during a TV show? Because that's what it seems like to me if Rachel sees Vanessa as two-faced or whatever. It just comes across as such a rigid way of living life to me - to hold grudges in the name of "keeping it real" and from what I've learned, it's those who live life less rigidly that are more empathetic and understanding of the flaws of others. And that's what bothers me most... where's the empathy? Too often I see being "real" as nothing but an excuse to be cold and icy and rigid. To me, being "real" has never been like that, it's about trying to match your words to your behavior, yes, but also allowing room for mistakes and letting go of grudges and not buying into oneself too much so that one doesn't see oneself with a rose colored glasses and others without those same glasses. I dunno... it's just kind of sad to me 

ReneeM wrote:

Miss Ramos wrote:

ReneeM wrote:

From jump I said I didn't think either of them were wrong in the way the argument unfolded, but it feels like more importance is being placed on Vanessa's personality type as if Rachel's feelings are somehow less important. Why is it up to Rachel to cater to Vanessa's feelings? If Rachel's feelings are that she doesn't want to associate with V, from the other side, why couldn't V just leave it alone? (I'm not posing this question directly to anyone, it's just my train of thought).

@Kashathediva I think her not saying anything is her being neutral IMO. Watching the entire season and following her after, Rachel's feelings are always written on her face, the girl (woman) cannot hide how she feels, it's reflex. I'm the exact same way, even when I actively try (which sometimes she did, and sometimes she didn't), I always give myself away.

All JMO.

@ReneeM Nobody said that Rachel's feelings were less important. Rachel and Vanessa are just 2 completely different persons. And they react differently to situations. It all depends of your personnality. Maybe Vanessa wanted to resolve the problem because that is the person she is. I'm the same. I hate confrontations and arguments. For God Sake...Even when somebody hurts me I try to fix things    (sorry if I can't explain myself too well...My first language is french) Rachel didn't have to cater but I don't respect the fact that the show has been wrapped for 3 months and she is still holding a grudge. You don't have to talk to her but don't tell people on your instagram live that you don't like her. It's like she is bringing the drama again...But that is JMO

You've expressed yourself perfectly, I understand completely where you're coming from. I don't blame Vanessa for wanting to resolve the situation, especially because Rachel's friends with everyone else there, so her distaste would have been pretty glaring. I just don't think Rachel should be villianized for not wanting to go there with her. If the story is true, I also understand why Vanessa would want to confide in Nick, I don't blame her for that. But if I were in Rachel's shoes, any chance of friendliness would be gone between us would be gone after that. IMO without her going to Nick, I think Rachel and V would've been cordial post show. I can understand Vanessa's PoV from an outsider's perspective, but I know if I was in Rachel's shoes, I'd act the same way. Idk about the other girls but I don't think it's blown out of proportion on Rachel's end, because if I think you're a snake, especially if I think you snaked me, DASSIT for any type of relationship between us. I probably would've answered that IG question too, even though I still think she shouldn't have. All JMO.

I agree with this, I think Rachel is damned is she do and damned if she doesn't... If this is all true. If Rachel were to engage with Vanessa she may have came across as "above her" How else can you say "I want my distance because I don't really like what I see" without sounding condescending and like... Taylor. Taylor was eaten alive for how she engaged with Corrine and people all said she shouldn't have even been discussing how she acts with the other girls with Corrine because they are there for Nick and not each other.

I feel like Vanessa is RIGHT for going to Rachel about her feelings because I have done the same thing, I have been ignored by a group of girls and being left out is a form of bullying I can relate. It hurt badly, but at the same time, I do not think it's wrong for a person to not want to engage and I don't think Rachel is a nasty person because she doesn't like Vanessa. Some people just don't click, and of course Rachel would only engage if Vanessa told Nick, because now you're involving a man she sees a future with. Both sides are easy to see for me and I don't hold anything against either of them. RS blew this up bigger than what it was. The ONLY thing I am disappointed in Rachel in is her IG Live comments, I think she should have just ignored the Vanessa comments or said something classy.

AllAboutLove wrote:It's the post-show stuff that speaks volumes to me. If Rachel thinks Vanessa is fake and thus sees Vanessa as tweeting congrats as fake then that is on Rachel IMO and how she chooses to view things post-season - which to me is immature and as someone who took Nick to her church, what happened to forgiveness or grace? Or is that something only "perfect" people do? I thought it was something imperfect people do because they can relate to mistakes themselves. What happened to giving someone the benefit of the doubt? Is "keeping it real" just writing someone off entirely over something during a TV show? Because that's what it seems like to me if Rachel sees Vanessa as two-faced or whatever. It just comes across as such a rigid way of living life to me - to hold grudges in the name of "keeping it real" and from what I've learned, it's those who live life less rigidly that are more empathetic and understanding of the flaws of others. And that's what bothers me most... where's the empathy? Too often I see being "real" as nothing but an excuse to be cold and icy and rigid. To me, being "real" has never been like that, it's about trying to match your words to your behavior, yes, but also allowing room for mistakes and letting go of grudges and not buying into oneself too much so that one doesn't see oneself with a rose colored glasses and others without those same glasses. I dunno... it's just kind of sad to me 

I know you said "If" but I read what RS said and he didn't say Rachel felt the tweet was fake, whoever his source was told him that. There is no evidence of how Rachel felt about that tweet. This is all hearsay from RS.

I do feel like that would be petty if Rachel did feel that way about the tweet though, but at the end of the day Rachel has lived with Vanessa and knows her in a way that a lot of us do not, so she has a right to feel how she feels just like Vanessa has a right to feel how she feels. I do agree that IF Rachel does harbor bad feelings I would hope she would let it go, because if she really cared for Nick, she would be a supporter of his happiness with Vanessa.

(sorry for posting in a row)

Loulou wrote:Hi sleuthers,just wondering if anyone has seen Vs latest snapchat Instagram of a little boy playing drums? I noticed in the right of the screen looked to be an orange piece of furniture? Maybe my imagination?

Definitely looks like the same type(arm)/color chair that Vanessa was sitting in on the "orange couch" incident...IMO. Maybe to couch is next to the chair.
JMO

Seabear wrote:

Loulou wrote:Hi sleuthers,just wondering if anyone has seen Vs latest snapchat Instagram of a little boy playing drums? I noticed in the right of the screen looked to be an orange piece of furniture? Maybe my imagination?

Definitely looks like the same type(arm)/color chair that Vanessa was sitting in on the "orange couch" incident...IMO. Maybe to couch is next to the chair.
JMO

The couch looked like a leather couch not this one that is a cloth couch

@EricButterfly That's why I said "if." As to my other thoughts they have been posted in Rachel's thread and nothing to do with what RS has said but what Rachel herself said on Ellen and live IG story. 

Back to Vanessa, to me, it is more about how Vanessa has been post-show and while I have posted criticism before regarding Vanessa I do feel that she has seemed to be nothing but positive regarding Rachel in particular. She's never liked or commented or done anything regarding Rachel in a negative way at all post-show on SM or elsewhere but I can't say the same about Rachel. Thus my opinion stands in regards to Vanessa and I give her credit for her conduct.

On the orange couch weekend....I always felt Vanessa took her photo sitting in an "orange" chair and Nick took his photo laying on an "orange" couch. Both the chair and couch looked to be made of leather but the arm types were different IMO.
I think the chair on Vanessa's IG story today looks like "orange" leather and they same arm type as before.
JMO
I am italicizing "orange" because I think of that leather color as Burnt Sienna.

Miss Ramos wrote:

ReneeM wrote:

Miss Ramos wrote:@ReneeM You are 100% right. You understand Rachel because you would act like her...The person I am..I would react like Vanessa because I hate having problems with anyone and I like fixing things. So nobody is right or wrong in that situation...!

From jump I said I didn't think either of them were wrong in the way the argument unfolded, but it feels like more importance is being placed on Vanessa's personality type as if Rachel's feelings are somehow less important. Why is it up to Rachel to cater to Vanessa's feelings? If Rachel's feelings are that she doesn't want to associate with V, from the other side, why couldn't V just leave it alone? (I'm not posing this question directly to anyone, it's just my train of thought).

@Kashathediva I think her not saying anything is her being neutral IMO. Watching the entire season and following her after, Rachel's feelings are always written on her face, the girl (woman) cannot hide how she feels, it's reflex. I'm the exact same way, even when I actively try (which sometimes she did, and sometimes she didn't), I always give myself away.

All JMO.

@ReneeM Nobody said that Rachel's feelings were less important. Rachel and Vanessa are just 2 completely different persons. And they react differently to situations. It all depends of your personnality. Maybe Vanessa wanted to resolve the problem because that is the person she is. I'm the same. I hate confrontations and arguments. For God Sake...Even when somebody hurts me I try to fix things    (sorry if I can't explain myself too well...My first language is french) Rachel didn't have to cater but I don't respect the fact that the show has been wrapped for 3 months and she is still holding a grudge. You don't have to talk to her but don't tell people on your instagram live that you don't like her. It's like she is bringing the drama again...But that is JMO

I agree with you Ms R.
I like smooth waters and calm. There is enough real stuff in real life to keep us crazy. Peace~
Social media --ugh.