Vanessa Grimaldi - Bachelor 21 - *Sleuthing Spoilers* #4

IMO Vs conversation at HTV with her father and step mother was very telling - she stating that the journey had good and bad/hard times but good out weighed the bad. This was in front of N and he did not appear surprised at this comment so I assumed he was aware of the bad times. IMO this may also be the reason N kept reassuring V so she did not leave. unless I am totally wrong in my assessment of V I can not see her intentionally hurting anyone's feelings. Jmo

I have tried to not "take a side" this season as I liked both Vanessa and Rachel and various aspects of their relationships with Nick. That all said, Nissa's relationship has been a slam dunk to everything else so relationship wise it has been #teamNissa all along. No one is perfect but for the most part both Nick and Vanessa have post show been nothing but kind towards the other women on SM, complimenting them and liking their posts. I remember seeing some posts questioning Vanessa about not letting the SM hype to go her head after that questionable like of Pacozero post which essentially explained and defended Vanessa vs trolls blaming her for Danielle L being eliminated however it would seem a few other contestants are the ones actually letting the hype go to their heads including Rachel and Alexis (her especially). They don't have to be friends with or like Vanessa but they also don't have to answer questions publicly about it either just to make themselves feel good. IMO if this behavior is part of "his loss" by choosing Vanessa over Rachel, then I think Nick is definitely trusting his heart and intuition even more now than ever. JMO. Everyone is human and has their moments but the difference in some moments vs others for me is intent. Vanessa may get emotional and over concerned at times (what has been shown) but at least with her it comes from being in the moment and with focus on Nick and her relationship within the bubble of the stress and weirdness of the show. Some of the things targeted towards her have been willfully done post show where people are acting as their real world self which IMO is more telling than what happens in the confines of the show. Some of the real world versions of the contestants are falling flat for me.

It is very comforting that it seems Nick has found a female counterpart that can be raw with him and passionate about him with no apologies for wanting to be with him and going for it even if it means being a 'villain' or unpopular with the others.

ReneeM wrote:I just don't think whatever confrontation Vanessa might've had with Rachel had anything to do with 'ette. I think it was probably about house politics, girls who were strangers at the time, living together and dating the same guy getting under each other's skin.

I also don't take anything Steve says as a fact, especially considering what happened last season with Jordan who was my favourite guy from that season and how much RS tried to disparage him. My criticisms of Vanessa have only been from what I've seen on screen and how certain things annoy me. Maybe RS planted the seed that there were issues in the house involving Vanessa but IMO we would've known regardless because of the disconnect of the castmembers SM and also the girls vaguely saying it. I maintain the position that whatever happened between Rachel and Vanessa could have them both in the right. Vanessa genuinely feeling one way, and Rachel genuinely feeling another and a disagreement arose and both PoV's are understandable and neither of them are the "villains". I've watched enough seasons of this show to not base my opinions people based in what other cast members or even the GP feel about them All JMO.

This is where I'm at. As I've said, unless someone was just an awful, evil person, I don't really blame anyone for any irritation, petty fights that happened during this process because that environment is essentially bred to play on people's insecurities and bring out frustration and drama. So honestly, I'm sure the big fight and drama was probably much ado about nothing and both maybe said stupid stuff and acted like idiots in the heat of the moment.

For me, what I judge is the post-show behavior. And like I said, I'm still not going to start hating on Rachel and calling her petty and classless. However, I do wish she'd avoided fanning the flames if you will, especially because like everyone else, they give no specifics but just feed the hungry trolls with the, "we don't like her" comments. Leaving it open for people to make all kinds of assumption about Vanessa and her character.

For me, at the end of the day, these women were all essentially strangers thrown into a weird and pressure cooker situation where they were competing for one man. Of course people got on each other's nerves and tempers probably flared but that was months ago. Whatever happened, happened. Let it go and move on. Yes, I know people were asking but sometimes saying nothing is the best response.

I don't think Vanessa is a bad person or anything like that but when many girls dislike her she did or say something wrong I wonder what it is

@Edgarretana10 Pack mentality? I lived in a sorority house for 4 yrs. It happens. It takes a strong person to stand up to it. I know. I got the Ms. Obnoxious award 2 yrs in a row.

notarose wrote:It comes down IMO  to those who know you in real life, the relationships that have proven sustainable.
Vanessa:
- her students and colleagues
- her family
- her preshow friends
Nick:
- most recently Elijah vouching for Nick on Fallon
- Nick recently posting the pic of himself and Kyle

We choose our friends.  They are those we have the ability to draw love & happiness from.
The others don't matter, even if they mind, in the grand scheme of life.

This.

And those people are not "Bachelor" people who leach onto one for their personal benefit but are real-life relationships that existed before Nick was the Bachelor and before Vanessa was on the show. Sure Vanessa can gain some real friendships such as Dani M (as Nick did with Sharleen, IMO) but overall both of their real, sustaining friendships and relationships are outside that bubble (adding Nick's close friend to that list whom he has always gone back to visit throughout the years and making pizza and hang out with his godson). That Vanessa and Nick both have those real-life relationships shows that despite this show, they invest in what matters most in the longrun - the people who really know them and are their inner circle - the ones that matters most.

That says it all to me, IMO.

Honestly I just want this season to end it has been a dud I want to see  Nick and Vanessa actions on how they act during the media tour and hopefully Nick skips doing DWTS a lot of people think that this two are not  going to last hopefully they surprise us

I think it says a lot about Vanessa that her closest friend on the show is DanielleM. Both women work in a very compassionate caring job...that requires strength, love and empathy. I see two strong woman with lovely strength of character. No wonder Vanessa had a breakdown when Nick sent DaniM home.
JMO

Seabear wrote:I think it says a lot about Vanessa that her closest friend on the show is DanielleM. Both women work in a very compassionate caring job...that requires strength, love and empathy. I had see two strong woman with lovely strength of character. No wonder Vanessa had a breakdown when Nick sent DaniM home.
JMO

I agree. I said something similar awhile back...that It wasnt about who didnt like her but who did like her. Add to that how theyre presenting themselves post show ... Thats what i use to form an opinion.

Hi all! I found this site through Reddit  Can't wait for Nick and Vanessa to finally go public!

@pvpr welcome to the board

@pvpr thanks for joining.