Vanessa Grimaldi - Bachelor 21 - *Sleuthing Spoilers* #4

GuardianAngel wrote:@happygolucky IA Good comparison.

IMO Vanessa is nothing like Andi. Every thing Andi does and says IMO is fake. She does and says what she thinks people want to hear or what ever will benefit her in some way. There is nothing IMO genuine about her, compared to Vanessa who has a very patient way about her. She is able to assess a situation, explain where she's coming from in a non nonsense way. She doesn't talk in circles. Communication is important in any relationship, and so far I can see she is a very good communicator.

in the 2 seasons Andi was on, I never liked Andi. Along comes Vanessa and I adore her from day 1 and it's just keeps getting better.
My gut - nope, they are not alike in any way that significantly appeals to me.

Cocoasneeze wrote:

notarose wrote:^^^

Totally.
Supporting your post:
In an interview - Nick said he wanted someone who could put him in his place, when need be, productively
In another interview Nick said he wants a strong woman and that some people appear strong at first but then appear less so over time.  He was asked to describe "strong" to which he replied "confident enough to be able to be vulnerable".

Many people confuse putting someone in their place by being mean and nasty. Nick simply wants honest discussion, when the other person straight up tells him, when they don't like something he's doing. IMO.

Vanessa IMO had a straight point. Nick had obviously talked with her, how he knows the show can portray certain image out there, and he'd prefer if it didn't happen to him. Then she sees him 'riding' Corinne on a group date, which I'm sure he knew would be uncomfortable for the other women. He heard her out, got her point, and they had a good discussion. We obviously didn't really see what he replied, like many of their convos, but it was a good talk for the both of them. IMO.

IA^^. Net/net as a couple N&V have an effective conflict resolution approach stemming from productive discussions. Albeit passionate arguments - they reach agreed upon solutions, right @happygolucky?

@notarose Me either. I forgot to add, what happens when you question Andi?
She flies off the handle and inflicts guilt to the one accusing her. Andi is abrupt, because she likes to be considered a badazz (why I don't know)

Vanessa, handled so far, her conversations with Nick in a rational manner IMO. Vanessa is a straight shooter, IMO because that's how she was raised, as we saw from her father and sister and knowing Italian backgrounds.

Polar opposites in my eyes.

GuardianAngel wrote:@happygolucky IA Good comparison.

IMO Vanessa is nothing like Andi. Every thing Andi does and says IMO is fake. She does and says what she thinks people want to hear or what ever will benefit her in some way. There is nothing IMO genuine about her, compared to Vanessa who has a very patient way about her. She is able to assess a situation, explain where she's coming from in a non nonsense way. She doesn't talk in circles. Communication is important in any relationship, and so far I can see she is a very good communicator.

ITA. Opposite approaches. I always found Andi very bombastic and direct for the sake of it & to show off & shock with her "straight talkin".
 Bringing in star signs here- warning:  Andi is a typical Aries- hot headed & funnily enough Aries rules the " Self" & when at worst cant always see past their own perceptions. Aries opposite sign is Libra- both Nick & Vanessa are Librans. Initially opposite signs attracted for Nick & Andi, relationships of opposites can work when they balance & teach each other the alternate approach & if there is equal respect & regard for those differences. OR they can annoy the hell out of each other as they are so dissimilar. Libran Air signs want balance and harmony in all things, sometimes going to extremes to achieve that. Air signs love to intellectualuse & analyse ideas and talk about it all, fire signs more inclined to feel and act & do. Andi said she didnt want to sit & analyse every little thing with Nick, obv wd rather be being coveted by fellow fire sign - Josh (a Leo show off)

Back to Vanessa- opposite sign to Andi, opposite approach to confrontation. She does not try and override or outsmart the other viewpoint or get overly defensive (ATFR) but presents her point of view & values then invites further discussion.
So as two librans Nissa-  I see them able to communicate well and simply "get" each others approach easily. I don't think it always translates to viewers but I think there is an unspoken vibe & understanding between fellow star signs which makes it all flow. So we see Vanessa30 & Nick28, two Librans.
Mystic post over & out. Peace. X
All imo.

Catdwoman50 wrote:Net/net as a couple N&V have an effective conflict resolution approach stemming from productive discussions.  Albeit passionate arguments - they reach agreed upon solutions, right?

Exactly. There is a @notarose's post in another thread about Nick describing himself as a definitive. A person who doesn't like "vague" communication, ambiguity (although he likes a good word play).

notarose wrote: (snipped) he said to Vanessa "ask me a direct question and I'll give you a direct answer" plus at GMA when Andrew F gave him advice about sharing a bathroom he responded by thanking him for saying something specific.

(I liked AF "advice" too, since it's useless to underline the importance of honesty and authenticity to Nick.)

It lines up with his dislike of surprises. He likes to understand the surrounding, environment, people ... their way of thinking. It's almost as if then he can predict, presume, assume, deduct, logically figure out and just feel more at ease because whatever the outcome is it won't to be shocking for him ... and I find it futile when they ask him what he found out post filming watching the show that he wished he knew ... because IMO it's clear that he had it under control for majority, with the exception of TPTB storyline ... and that "I don't trust my feelings because I've burned twice before" is such a BS TPTB produced line, because if there's one person Nick trusts is his own judgment - IMO - it's in his personality ... IMO he is a big "adviser" of honesty, because he isn't naturally judgmental person and prefers accepting and embracing whatever comes his way, while trying to find/learn a better way how to deal for the unforeseen future. He gets extremely uncomfortable and anxious when he doesn't know which "road to take" to satisfy different agendas and opposite parties, because as a libra he wants to be fair and all accommodating without compromising himself fundamentally - IMO.

So I see Vanessa similar in that to him. She appears to be very straight-forward, like there's no tactic of "when it's the right time to tell him?", it seems like she divulged the information about her life unassuming from the beginning of their "knowing". She speaks her mind, isn't a cookie cutter IMO and maybe she wishes she wouldn't have been so honest during filming, just because of the criticism that evokes, but she stayed true to herself and that's exactly what Nick was looking for in a woman IMO, someone who has no fear to make mistakes, because boy he makes them too - JMO.

I think all three women (Andi, Kaitlyn, and Vanessa) have some degree of strength and confidence. They just express it in different ways, and I don't think one is necessarily better than the other. Certain qualities just work better with different partners. Basically, what I'm trying to say is just because all these women are strong and confident (whether that's only in their initial impression or true character) doesn't mean their personalities are alike.

I think what will set Vanessa apart is if she's the type of person to take accountability for her actions. Is she going to be able to acknowledge her flaws and missteps? Or is she going to be combative at the first sign of conflict by finding fault in the other person? Is she going to be vindictive if this doesn't work out? It's too soon to tell because there isn't much to go by. So I suppose we'll have to wait and see.

Diana wrote:I hope these two surprise us all and make it work 

Nick and Vanessa making it work will not surprise me at all for a couple of reasons.

First, Nick has tried and failed at finding and securing his "great love". I see him learning from his past relationships and growing into a man that would be capable of loving another with the great love he is searching for in another.  Many here have mentioned that he has struggled with selfishness. Who hasn't? I think that Nick himself recognizes this struggle. His Twitter tag line has read, "Just hoping I don't screw it up!" since he returned home from filming. He knows that he has a big responsibility in the success of his relationship with Vanessa. I believe that he will do everything in his power to make it work. And I am hoping that includes the sacrifice that is required to have a successful real life relationship. This type of sacrifice is the foundation of a greater love. And I do see Nick wanting this type of love for himself.

Which brings me to Vanessa. Again a few posters here, myself included, have used her position as an adult special education teacher as proof of her "goodness" (for lack of a better word).  I would go another step and say that I see it as proof that she is capable of a greater type of love. A sacrificial type of love. A type of love that gives to others above one's self. Now I'm not saying that she does this all the time. She is also capable of putting herself first and many posters have also commented on her "entitled" behavior because it showcases her concern for herself and her relationship with Nick. My point is that she is aware of this type of sacrificial love and is able to give it to others.  Nick needs this in a woman. And she in him.

I think that both Nick and Vanessa have found the "greater love" in each other that Nick talked about wanting to find. The question in my mind is will they have the strength to continue with this type of sacrifice day after day in real life. Because if they are, they will be a success. I'm rooting for this.

@crunchycheeto very good point. IA. It's interesting though how we jumped from Bimini's date & "unsatisfying ending" in ITMs where she "apparently" couldn't wrapped his reasoning with the whole ILY situation ... to Montreal, where with no sunshine it started high (no "clear the air" conversation needed) ... then again low point at parting ... it's an emotional roller-coaster with these 2 ... I blame TPTB, it's easy

@ukglasgowkiiss bombastic love that word!

@OnePromise Very well stated IMO. Great post.

Honest question I've been pondering.

Alternate universe. Nick is still the Bachelor. Andi, Kaitlyn and Vanessa are his F3. What is the order of elimination? (We'll just say Jen was F4 and left after hometowns. Clearly MOT. )

sosleepy wrote:Honest question I've been pondering.

Alternate universe. Nick is still the Bachelor. Andi, Kaitlyn and Vanessa are his F3. What is the order of elimination? (We'll just say Jen was F4 and left after hometowns. Clearly MOT. )

IMO Vanessa would be F1. He looks at her differently than he ever looked at those two.

By Nick's own words, he is so thankful he wasn't chosen by Kaitlyn or Andi and he is so thankful he got to be the bachelor and has stated more than once how LUCKY he feels to have met Vanessa and how lucky he would be if she was his life partner.

So to me it would be no contest: Vanessa would be F1 from day one and Nick would send A & K home long before F3.

Like Sharleen has said over and over again (and she would know firsthand), Nick has never looked at another woman the way he looks at Vanessa.