Ben Higgins - Lauren Bushnell - Bachelor 20 - Discussion - #6

Seabear wrote:I am all for canceling a wedding if you know it is not right for you. I understand that can be hard. But I do not condone doing it on a TV show so you can publicly embarrass and blindside the person you supposedly Love. These sort of conversations should be had in private IMO.
JMO

They signed up to be on a TV show about their personal lives and, specifically, their relationship. No one forced them to continue to pursue fame by broadcasting their relationship to the world and signing away their privacy. That was their choice. It's unfortunate for Lauren that it backfired on her, but she signed a contract giving Freeform the right to make her relationship, problems and all, a TV show. If Lauren had been paying attention to anything Ben said leading up to him calling off the wedding, she shouldn't have been blindsided. He tried to tell her multiple times on the show (and probably in private as well) that he had concerns and thought they should slow things down, but she continued to steamroll ahead with her wedding planning and parties. He may have called it off in private and the show forced them to re-enact it on camera - this type of thing happens all the time on "reality" shows. Considering how many of the other scenarios on HEA were clearly staged, I think it's pretty likely that the portrayal of the way the breakup happened was staged as well. Ultimately, I think Ben and Lauren have very different goals, lifestyles, and personalities and both would be better suited with other people.

What exactly was Ben saying that Lauren didn't pay attention to? It takes two to tango, IMO they both are in it, it appears they both have issues that are unresolved.

He proposed to her. She accepted. If he had a change of heart, then he shouldn't have been the one to talk her into doing HEA in the first place, as they themselves admitted. Perhaps if Lauren wasn't supposedly listening, to what I'm not sure, I didn't watch HEA, then they, Ben included should have either worked on their relationship or split, not work out a contract with Freeform. IMO Lauren once again gave in to the give and take relationship which IMO she's been doing a lot of giving.

I didn't watch more than an episode of their show but I'd take anything done on there with a grain of salt. Didn't they agree to a wedding in the final episode? Hmm.

IMO if you you twice propose to a woman on national tv, you owe it to her to kindly and clearly explain to her in private that you actually aren't ready to get married. It's not her job to read between the lines, IMO, or listen carefully. It's the person's job, who proposed, to have that much respect, that you don't take the wedding proposal back on national tv. IMO. Lauren IMO signed to do HEA for the wedding. She was more hesitant to do it, too. IMO it didn't hit Ben all of a sudden, that he wasn't ready to get married, yet he encouraged Lauren to do HEA with him, and he took back the wedding. I don't buy for one second, that he didn't have a choice in the matter, it was his choice to cancel the wedding on TV. Jmo.

I just don't understand how they went from vomiting "you're my person" to proposing twice, to media rounds talking about how they want to get married sometime late 2016 or early 2017 to cancelling the wedding on TV. Why talk so much bull**** if they were not ready?  They should've been honest from the get go. The "perfect golden couple" that wanted to marry asap narrative only made things worse. I've always said less is more. The less you put out there for the world to see the better outcome for your relationship. Jmo

Cila51290 wrote:I just don't understand how they went from vomiting "you're my person" to proposing twice, to media rounds talking about how they want to get married sometime late 2016 or early 2017 to cancelling the wedding on TV. Why talk so much bull**** if they were not ready?  They should've been honest from the get go. The "perfect golden couple" that wanted to marry asap narrative only made things worse. I've always said less is more. The less you put out there for the world to see the better outcome for your relationship. Jmo

If you go back and read their private Valentine's to each other last year, I believe one year ago that was the mindset they were in. They were in the honeymoon, basking in the glow of their relationship. I don't think they were lying last year. I think that's how they were genuinely feeling at the time. 

Then you know, life happens. And that sucks. But it's possible to truly believe you want to marry this person tomorrow, and then with time and circumstance change your mind.

I could easily love a season of Lauren on 'Ette. I think she is so pretty when she does not go wild with eyebrows and lips.

sosleepy wrote:

Cila51290 wrote:I just don't understand how they went from vomiting "you're my person" to proposing twice, to media rounds talking about how they want to get married sometime late 2016 or early 2017 to cancelling the wedding on TV. Why talk so much bull**** if they were not ready?  They should've been honest from the get go. The "perfect golden couple" that wanted to marry asap narrative only made things worse. I've always said less is more. The less you put out there for the world to see the better outcome for your relationship. Jmo

If you go back and read their private Valentine's to each other last year, I believe one year ago that was the mindset they were in. They were in the honeymoon, basking in the glow of their relationship. I don't think they were lying last year. I think that's how they were genuinely feeling at the time. 

Then you know, life happens. And that sucks. But it's possible to truly believe you want to marry this person tomorrow, and then with time and circumstance change your mind.

I just don't understand why they spoke about getting married if they had inner doubts about it. The couples that have broken up in this franchise, I don't recall them mentioning getting married the way B/L did.

^^ Hear me out. My crazy Bachelorette recycling Theory :

They have been recycling lead types the last few seasons. 

Season 4 DeAnna = Season 10 Andi (kind of aggressive Georgia girls)
Season 5 Jillian = Season 11 Kaitlyn (free spirited Canadian)
Season 6 Ali = Season 12 JoJo (Very popular, bubbly, extroverted girl.)
Season 7 Ashley = Season 13 someone (probably from Nick's season) with Ashley-esque characteristics.

Which leads us to...
Season 8 Emily = Season 14 Lauren??? (Former F1, blonde similar look??) 

I follow the retread thought, but no, thank you.  Think I'll pass.

ETA:  Wasn't an Emily fan either, though I did like some of her guys.    #Ryanwillalwaysbeafavorite

Cila51290 wrote:I just don't understand how they went from vomiting "you're my person" to proposing twice, to media rounds talking about how they want to get married sometime late 2016 or early 2017 to cancelling the wedding on TV. Why talk so much bull**** if they were not ready?  They should've been honest from the get go. The "perfect golden couple" that wanted to marry asap narrative only made things worse. I've always said less is more. The less you put out there for the world to see the better outcome for your relationship. Jmo

I don't think it was BS to Lauren, I think she would be married to him already if he didn't pull the breaks. I suspect after all the excitement of the Bachelorette and the Bachelor ended, Ben just felt a void and suddenly didn't feel so comfortable with marrying Lauren after all. Maybe he was feeling a loss of sorts and then his political career was nipped in the bud as well. You'd think Lauren was enough though, if she's the one for him. She probably just isn't. All JMO.

@Kashathediva

I am not a Lauren fan but I think she would be a great ette.. I would totally watch.

And route for her.