Ben Higgins - Lauren Bushnell - Bachelor 20 - Discussion - #6

I haven't been following B and L, so I'm not sure of all of their going-ons. How has Ben publicly humiliated Lauren? Is it something he said on their show about postponing wedding plans? TIA.

Ben says he wants to stay off social media, but hey guys, he totally just had to let all of his followers know that he's home in Denver with Lauren! I swear he's reading here. 

This is all just makes me think about how so many of us noticed things appeared to be off over the past couple of months. We don't even know these people, but it was just so obvious. Knowing how obvious it was to us, who are outsiders, I wonder how bad it must really be for those on the inside. All JMO

I doubt Ben is specifically reading here (he doesn't appear to be so tech savvy.) He's probably just heard all the inklings and gossip around the Internet. Ben is a weird one IMO.

MiaHawk wrote:I haven't been following B and L, so I'm not sure of all of their going-ons. How has Ben publicly humiliated Lauren?  Is it something he said on their show about postponing wedding plans? TIA.

Mainly, the "I love you you" fiasco between Ben, Lauren, and another lady & and he "called off" the wedding on their tv show. There's been other smaller things here and there as well.

^^IMO whatever he said on the Bachelor doesn't really matter, that was a long time ago. I think that on their show he pretty much acted like he wasn't sure about marrying Lauren, and not interested in planning a wedding or even really thinking about a wedding. So that was the main embarrassing part imo.

Meh, I don't get Ben at all. I would say these two are playing the public by their odd posts . They just need to get their acts together. Ben is an idiot thinking they are not having problems. The problem with Ben is he will do everything to look good in public. He said his rel is great . Dude , your fiancé is not holding back . Jmo.

What exactly should Ben be saying to the public? Unless they are announcing a breakup I don't see why either of them would be disclosing personal issues to the media with the amount of scrutiny they receive. JMO.

I guess Chris gave Ben a reason to rush back to Denver.
JMO

I had a friend who many years ago was engaged to be married, but she was having her doubts about whether or not she should go through with it. There were several red flags that this was not a match made in heaven and that they had several incompatibilities. I had many heart to heart conversations with her about her relationship, and I advised her that if she was having her doubts she should call it off sooner rather than later. (I'd advise: "If you're going to call it off, do it before the wedding shower invitations are mailed out." "If you are going to call it off, do it before you have the shower." "If you are going to call it off, do it before the wedding invitations go out." We had multiple conversations about her concerns.) I never 'told' her what to do. Nobody can do that. I merely told her she needed to look deep inside to know if she should marry him or not. Even though she discussed her concerns with her fiancé, the wedding train kept on rolling along.

One week prior to the wedding day, (yes, just one week prior) my friend went to her priest and told him that she was having doubts. Of course, he told her that he, therefore, wouldn't be able to marry them in good conscience. She told me afterward, that that was precisely why she went to the priest. She knew that he would be her way out. She knew that HE would cancel the wedding for her.

To say that it was a debacle would be putting it lightly. It was messy. It was ugly. It was, however, the right thing to do, even if it wasn't done the right way. My friend was young and scared. No matter the amount of counsel she got from me, her sister, or her mom, she just was too confused to call the wedding off. She loved the guy. She just wasn't supposed to marry him.

Our culture has a tendency to make Love and Marriage synonymous, but they are not. I think that due to societal shifts, this viewpoint that Marriage is the endpoint that all should aim for has changed somewhat. I personally see the value in being married, but I do not think all loving relationship should evolve into marriages. Sometimes it is the cultural peer pressure and the "all my friends are getting married at this age, I need to get married too" thoughts that make people move forward with wedding plans even when they have doubts and nagging concerns.

Ben and Lauren are young. Ben and Lauren are human. If they do break up, that's their choice. If it happens in a messy, ugly, or awkward way, that's life. People get confused and scared and make mistakes. It doesn't make them monsters; it makes them mere mortals. I hope that they make the right choices for themselves and that they seek the answers from deep within themselves. That is the only place that holds the truth. IMO.

Lauren's response
https://mobile.twitter.com/LaurenBushnell3/status/829376846869434368

MiaHawk wrote:I had a friend who many years ago was engaged to be married, but she was having her doubts about whether or not she should go through with it. There were several red flags that this was not a match made in heaven and that they had several incompatibilities. I had many heart to heart conversations with her about her relationship, and I advised her that if she was having her doubts she should call it off sooner rather than later. (I'd advise: "If you're going to call it off, do it before the wedding shower invitations are mailed out." "If you are going to call it off, do it before you have the shower." "If you are going to call it off, do it before the wedding invitations go out." We had multiple conversations about her concerns.) I never 'told' her what to do. Nobody can do that. I merely told her she needed to look deep inside to know if she should marry him or not. Even though she discussed her concerns with her fiancé, the wedding train kept on rolling along.

One week prior to the wedding day, (yes, just one week prior) my friend went to her priest and told him that she was having doubts. Of course, he told her that he, therefore, wouldn't be able to marry them in good conscience. She told me afterward, that that was precisely why she went to the priest. She knew that he would be her way out. She knew that HE would cancel the wedding for her.

To say that it was a debacle would be putting it lightly. It was messy. It was ugly. It was, however, the right thing to do, even if it wasn't done the right way. My friend was young and scared. No matter the amount of counsel she got from me, her sister, or her mom, she just was too confused to call the wedding off. She loved the guy. She just wasn't supposed to marry him.

Our culture has a tendency to make Love and Marriage synonymous, but they are not.  I think that due to societal shifts, this viewpoint that Marriage is the endpoint that all should aim for has changed somewhat. I personally see the value in being married, but I do not think all loving relationship should evolve into marriages. Sometimes it is the cultural peer pressure and the "all my friends are getting married at this age, I need to get married too" thoughts that make people move forward with wedding plans even when they have doubts and nagging concerns.

Ben and Lauren are young. Ben and Lauren are human. If they do break up, that's their choice. If it happens in a messy, ugly, or awkward way, that's life. People get confused and scared and make mistakes. It doesn't make them monsters; it makes them mere mortals. I hope that they make the right choices for themselves and that they seek the answers from deep within themselves. That is the only place that holds the truth. IMO.

I have no doubt that Ben & Lauren love each other, but I don't think they're IN love with each other. IMO.

Saw someone comment on RS today in his reader emails, they think Lauren might be the next Bachelorette. If they are broken up, IDK I think it would be way to soon for that. But who knows how long they've been doing whatever they are doing. hmmm...