Josh Murray - Bachelorette 10 - BIP - Discussion

I wish Josh the best. He looks happy in that picture and I'm glad to see that.

IMO He always looks happy when he is out looking for his next victim..err..fiancee.

I never liked Josh. I can still remember on his season w/Andi there was a team competition and his team lost. He had such a temper tantrum, very angry and stomped off. IMO he has a lot of growing up to do.

Maybe bc I wanted Nick to be F1 (I was a sore loser) I hated Josh's proposal. He didn't seem very sincere.Glad now that it turned out the way it did.

Karma is a bitch.

I actually feel sorry for him. That is rare for me. However, I feel he is victim to his mentor mother in many negative ways and does not have enough to know better and move in a more positive direction. I do believe under better tutelage and with a better set of tools he would be ok. He knows not. JMOAA

Kashathediva wrote:I actually feel sorry for him. That is rare for me. However, I feel he is victim to his mentor mother in many negative ways and does not have enough to know better and move in a more positive direction. I do believe under better tutelage and with a better set of tools he would be ok. He knows not. JMOAA

I couldn't agree more. I followed Josh and his mother closely a couple of years ago. IMO, I saw his mother manipulate him quite often, especially on social media, when he distanced himself from her when he was with his first fiancé. I wonder where he gets his manipulative tendencies from?

I've said this before, but I don't think it's a coincidence that Andi said her first few months with Josh were bliss and up and down like any normal couple, but the last few months were hell. MM was back in the picture at the point. If Josh got some therapy and distanced himself from his mother, I think he would be a different person, but that's all JMO.

I don't know the exact circumstances, from what I see of him--he knows not better and implicitly trusts her. That is going to be a hard nut to crack.
There is a time where you need to stop helicoptering your child regardless of their needs in order for them to learn to deal on their own is my own personal experience. Sometimes you grow the best through faltering on your own and owning it.

I always thought that the first few months were bliss, because that was before Andi told Josh she had sex with Nick. I'm not a fan of his mother, but she didn't force Josh to call Andi a wh*re and make her feel unsafe. I just think that at a certain point, say at age 32, you have to take responsibility for your own actions and stop blaming your parents. The truth is that most people with abusive tendencies have them because of the environment they grew up in or the genetics they inherited. Doesn't change the fact that they are still responsible for their own actions, IMO.

^ Of course. I think it goes without saying that people are responsible for their own actions if they're the ones doing them. With that being said, from what we have seen, I have not seen his mother try to help him or correct him. When people have a warped view of how to act, someone should step in because it's not always easy for that person to make a change alone. His mother enables him and he got some of those manipulative tendencies from her. JMO

He is absolutely responsible for his own actions. However, I feel in reality he is probably 32 going on 14.
And having personally dealt with said devil, I doubt we realize how much influence she has on a BOR. Unless one has seen her in motion you can't imagine. I will refrain. Call it a first for me.
Remember this is the same woman who had to have a pep club meeting at her church for the FRC/last episode not realizing what tricks MF had up his sleeve. So she cost herself her own humiliation at having her son cuckolded. Can you even imagine the disgrace at your church group? Dear god. Served her right now that I know who she is in retrospect.
IMO he really is a box of rox. I say that not because of who he is, but who he allows himself to be at 32. Tell momma to take a hike already and grow a real pair.

Lara wrote:I always thought that the first few months were bliss, because that was before Andi told Josh she had sex with Nick. I'm not a fan of his mother, but she didn't force Josh to call Andi a wh*re and make her feel unsafe. I just think that at a certain point, say at age 32, you have to take responsibility for your own actions and stop blaming your parents. The truth is that most people with abusive tendencies have them because of the environment they grew up in or the genetics they inherited. Doesn't change the fact that they are still responsible for their own actions, IMO.

Yes, she didn't force Josh to call Andi a wh*re but she publicly defended him on twitter that Andi deserved to be called one coz she had slept with Nick before getting engaged. IMO there is absolutely no excuse for that. IMO MM is a classic example of an enabler in my book and is probably responsible for most of Josh's emotionally abusive tendencies(IMO) coz she never called him out on it growing up and now at 32, he is a hopeless case IMO unless he seeks help fast.

All JMO.

I didn't like Josh on Andi's season but I tried to give him a chance on BIP and his relationship with Amanda after gaining sympathy for him because of Sable. What I discovered is Josh is a total jerk. The way Josh talked to Amanda and the rude, denigrating things he said about her and watching him be rude to his own sister....showed me loud and clear that Josh does not respect women and IMO does not see them as his equals. At Josh's age IMO he is fully responsible for his own actions, behaviors and attitudes. I don't see Josh changing in anyway...IMO he see's himself as perfectly wonderful just as he is. IMO he is super Fake and thinks he is above others and I pity any women insecure enough about herself that would settle for his appalling attitude.
All JMO

My ex had issues similiar to Josh and when we went to counselling I was amazed to discover that it all started with his dysfunctional relationship with his Mom (whom he adored and I thought was the most caring woman in the world)... you nailed it ^ ...the Moms are enablers and it's a pattern of learned behaviour by their sons, they are like "man-child's" and never have to take responsibility for their own actions ever..... very destructive to relationships!