Ben Higgins - Lauren Bushnell - Bachelor 20 - Discussion - #4

You know what I don't understand? And I say this to ALL contestants that whines about comments *cough* Kaitlyn and them. Why read them? If I was making 4-5 figures advertising, I would never read comments. I get it, comments can be brutal, but why read them? I would be too happy making my money shilling, who cares what people think. If you expect to be praised 24/7 and get the adoration then I am not going to feel sorry for you for doing something that is easy to ignore but you are too narcissistic not to ignore.

They are still close with their families and their original friends post bachelor life. Ben has mentioned several times over the past year that this 'life' and opportunities presented to them are fleeting. They have also said on multiple occasions that they are open to any opportunities that may come up. I support these two on either path they have decided to travel down mainly because if I was in their shoes.... Heck yea I would be living this life and taking the opportunities given to me. It's not gonna last forever.

I'd be taking this path too as long as it didn't compromise my relationship with my significant other. From interviews I've seen shared on this thread, both Ben and Lauren have stated this past year they have been together has just be crazy for them. They both have essentially said they want to focus on their relationship now, really get to know each other because they still don't feel like they do, etc.

From what I've seen, and even fans/former fans have seen judging by comments posted in this thread, they're spending more time apart and doing things that have contradicted what they said in recent interviews. It's a bit odd, which is why there has been plenty of questions about them, but it's their life. All JMO

I would only read the comments to look for the positive ones that asked a sincere question or wanted to know where I got my outfit! Then I would reply all happy and sweet, as I grab my debit card to go shopping, some more.

I'm confused and feel sorry for B&L because they seriously just can't win... A few weeks ago everyone was saying that there must be trouble in paradise because they weren't posting anything on social media and weren't posting pictures of each other. Now, here they are posting a lot of each other and all of a sudden they are being accused of self-promotion and being too much in the public eye? Which do people want? I guess you just can't please some people... IMO

As for turning off comments on social media, most of these people don't do that because they actually enjoy interacting with their fans and reading what they have to say. If you look at 100 comments, on average less than 10 of them are actually bad. By cutting off comments completely, you're letting the judgmental, negative internet trolls win and who wants that?

I think people assume those negative comments affect Lauren more than they really do. She has done a fabulous job of ignoring the trolls. Every once in a while she will respond, but very rarely. And it doesn't seem to affect her daily life by making her less happy. She is living the life right now, a few internet trolls is just a side-effect of that for anyone in her position or any celebrity in general.

Also, assuming that she got lip injections solely because of horrible comments made on the internet I think could be a bit of a stretch. Maybe she's been unhappy with her lips her entire life and now just has the means to actually address it. It's no different than every other girl whose gone on this show and now has fake hair, eyelash extensions, breast implants, etc. If it makes her feel better about herself, then good for her.

Everyone has their insecurities, public eye or not. I would never consider being insecure about something a negative characteristic of someone, because EVERYONE is guilty of that.
IMO

Great posts @adj13 ... both of them!

Ash2214 wrote:I'd be taking this path too as long as it didn't compromise my relationship with my significant other. From interviews I've seen shared on this thread, both Ben and Lauren have stated this past year they have been together has just be crazy for them. They both have essentially said they want to focus on their relationship now, really get to know each other because they still don't feel like they do, etc.

From what I've seen, and even fans/former fans have seen judging by comments posted in this thread, they're spending more time apart and doing things that have contradicted what they said in recent interviews. It's a bit odd, which is why there has been plenty of questions about them, but it's their life. All JMO

True. But they also stated in interviews that being attached at the hip in both a personal/romantic relationship AND in a professional/working relationship while they were filming the show was also bad for their relationship. Just too much togetherness and they stated they needed to do their own activities and separate a bit now that filming was over for the betterment of their relationship. They've spent PLENTY of time together post filming, but have also taken a few breaks from each other. I think this is totally in line with what they stated they needed to do in interviews post HEA.

sosleepy wrote:

Ash2214 wrote:I'd be taking this path too as long as it didn't compromise my relationship with my significant other. From interviews I've seen shared on this thread, both Ben and Lauren have stated this past year they have been together has just be crazy for them. They both have essentially said they want to focus on their relationship now, really get to know each other because they still don't feel like they do, etc.

From what I've seen, and even fans/former fans have seen judging by comments posted in this thread, they're spending more time apart and doing things that have contradicted what they said in recent interviews. It's a bit odd, which is why there has been plenty of questions about them, but it's their life. All JMO

True. But they also stated in interviews that being attached at the hip in both a personal/romantic relationship AND in a professional/working relationship while they were filming the show was also bad for their relationship. Just too much togetherness and they stated they needed to do their own activities and separate a bit now that filming was over for the betterment of their relationship. They've spent PLENTY of time together post filming, but have also taken a few breaks from each other. I think this is totally in line with what they stated they needed to do in interviews post HEA.

I agree. The fact of the matter is no two relationships are the same. And what is good for one couple is not necessarily good for the next. Some people are like Shawn and Kaitlyn and want to spend every waking moment of every day with their spouse and work well in that dynamic. Others (myself included) would go crazy if they were with their S.O. ALL THE TIME. It doesn't mean there is less love there.. I love my husband, but a lot of personal space and independent interests makes our marriage even better... To each his own. I think too many try to put Ben and Lauren and all of these couples in a little box based on their own personal relationship preferences, and it's just not that black and white. Fact is, Ben and Lauren have never done anything to actually indicate that there is actually trouble in paradise (other than the episode dramas on their show, which I believe were enhanced for dramatic effect). Some would argue their ability to spend time apart without issue is the sign of a STRONG relationship..

Sure. I know for me, if my boyfriend didn't have to travel to NY a couple of times a month for work he would drive me insane.

With that being said, Ben and Lauren are a couple that has spent their first year together filming reality television shows. They both have essentially admitted that doing Ben's third and Lauren's second stunted their relationship and their growth together. They have said they need to get to know each other as I said above. If that's the case, spend good, quality time together focusing on the relationship. Sure, I would bet they have done that the past couple of months once the press had stopped, but still. She goes to LA for a week with Amanda, then they go to Las Vegas for business to film for another reality television show, and in a couple of weeks she's taking a girl trip with friends.

How often is she legitimately in Denver? That's their home base, right? The girl was home for 24 hours and she was tweeting up a storm about going away on vacation. If I was one of them, I would want to stay home and focus on building a normal life together, which they have been talking about wanting to do. I haven't seen that. As mentioned above, it's their life and their choices, but they're certainly up for questioning. All JMO as always.

Does Ben still have actual ties to Denver? Do they have to live there? Is his job still situated there?
The reason I ask if those answers are "no", maybe they don't have to live in Denver. Personally, I think Lauren is not crazy about Denver. I wouldn't want to live there either. I had to live somewhere for 12 yrs. I was thrilled to pick up and move.

I don't know enough about Ben to know why he moved to Denver, but I can't blame Lauren if she doesn't like it. I can't imagine being a Cali girl and then moving to Denver. I would imagine that's not easy. I just think at some point to have a normal relationship where they can grow together and learn about each other like they say they want to, they need a home base, that both of them like, and the traveling for press and reality television purposes needs to stop considering they themselves have said this. IMO