Ben Higgins - Lauren Bushnell - Bachelor 20 - Discussion - #4

I think Ben just wants a girlfriend. I'm not sure he wants a wife at this point in his life

Look! A never before seen photo of Lauren hiding from her mess of fiancée while sitting right next to his azz:

https://instagram.com/p/BOxUt1gjxZ7/

Hehe.

Lennoxcolinrolland wrote:I think Ben just wants a girlfriend. I'm not sure he wants a wife at this point in his life

I think he wants lauren as his wife but he wants to have the relationship length that his friends had before getting married. I mean he said that at his wedding he wants people telling stories about things they've done together and essentially having q history.

Lennoxcolinrolland wrote:Look! A never before seen photo of Lauren hiding from her mess of fiancée while sitting right next to his azz:

https://instagram.com/p/BOxUt1gjxZ7/

Hehe.

Looks like she is on a plane trying to stay warm and sleep. JMO

FMG2015 wrote:

Lennoxcolinrolland wrote:I think Ben just wants a girlfriend. I'm not sure he wants a wife at this point in his life

I think he wants lauren as his wife but he wants to have the relationship length that his friends had before getting married. I mean he said that at his wedding he wants people telling stories about things they've done together and essentially having q history.

How long were his friends with their wives before they got married? Two years? Three years?

Kashathediva wrote:

Lennoxcolinrolland wrote:Look! A never before seen photo of Lauren hiding from her mess of fiancée while sitting right next to his azz:

https://instagram.com/p/BOxUt1gjxZ7/

Hehe.

Looks like she is on a plane trying to stay warm and sleep. JMO

It's just a joke. She took that photo of herself, soooo I don't think she was trying to sleep in that moment.

But it's hard for Ben when people question his 'Christian values', because he's living with Lauren, not married to her. He wants to have it all, but you really can't. You can't have multiple runs of reality dating tv and all that without any negativity. You can't twice propose to a girl on tv, proclaim you'd marry her tomorrow if you could, and then not have people wonder and question you when you very publicly back out. You can't have a girl move across the country to live with you, so you can have a relationship with her, and then not be ready to actually live with her, let her redecorate a bit.

Why I'm backing Lauren a lot, and so hard on Ben, because IMO she means what she says, realises the work that needs to be done for the things she wants, and is ready to make that work. IMO right now Ben is a lot of big words, not much action.

Lennoxcolinrolland wrote:

FMG2015 wrote:

Lennoxcolinrolland wrote:I think Ben just wants a girlfriend. I'm not sure he wants a wife at this point in his life

I think he wants lauren as his wife but he wants to have the relationship length that his friends had before getting married. I mean he said that at his wedding he wants people telling stories about things they've done together and essentially having q history.

How long were his friends with their wives before they got married? Two years? Three years?

I think that's accurate but 2-3 years as a couple living a normal life is so different than dating/engaged life post bachelor. IMO

I don't totally fault Ben, nor do I think they are necessarily doomed if they aren't on the same page right now. I was ready for the marriage and commitment probably 1/2 years before my husband got there. I was patient and it worked out. Likewise I was ready for kids 1/2 years before my husband... and likewise I was patient and that worked out too. So... if Lauren can be patient, which I feel she has been, I do think there is hope Ben will grow out of his Peter Pan syndrome. The big difference here though is all of Ben's big talk and big promises. That's what bothers me on lauren's behalf. Don't talk the talk if you can't walk the walk. Cause that is hurtful and potentially way more damaging then just not being ready right now.

I don't think it's just a question of being ready and time. I think fundamentally he wants a warm and affectionate woman who will look at him like he hung the moon and instead he found a cold but beautiful trophy everyone can be jealous of and he never thought he'd get to have. Tough call for him IMO.

I'm not sure he knows what he wants most days.

Lots of good posts. I agree with a lot of them. You guys have Ben pegged so well IMO . It's irritating to hear explain himself sometimes. But I guess when you love someone you stand by them and try to make it work. Good luck to Lauren.

I don't personally think Lauren cold but beautiful trophy. IMO she's a kind and warm woman, supportive and loving. IMO it's a give and take situation in every relationship, with Ben willing to do a lot of taking, not much giving.