Ben and Lauren Happily Ever After - Discussion - *Sleuthing - Spoilers*

sosleepy wrote:Does anyone know in real time when they filmed that fake Extreme Home Makeover epi? I remember Lauren and the twins snapping in hard hats, but couldn't tell you when. That's the next epi. Just trying to see how they are piecing this together for the show.

I don't like the twins in being in almost every episode. It seems they are promoting the twins and not so much Lauren and Ben. Having them at a couples therapy was just plain stupid.

The only time that they've really had off camera, without having to be in hiding, drama from show, etc. was from March 14th-all of June. So that's about 3 1/2 months.

In the ET article there was a video of an earlier interview and Ben himself said that the hardest part of the filming was the counselling session, because it was very real and emotional and he even said he probably won't watch it when it airs, so I still think it was real. These two aren't very good actors as evidenced by most of the (very much scripted) scenes on this show, so it's hard for me to believe they were just following a script there. If they were then that's just sad. I mean it's one thing to pretend you're camping when you're not, or going on a road trip or learning to cook because you might want to become a chef all of a sudden, but straight up lying about how you feel about marrying your fiancée and jerking your fans around is on another level. I wouldn't be fine with it if I were them, no matter how much I was paid.

The Vegas parties in the finale were probably part of the script since the beginning, since there was supposed to be a wedding special soon after, so they just went with it regardless. Considering all the ridiculous stuff these producers think they can sell us, bachelor parties with a wedding on hold are no biggie. There are so many ways they can spin it to make it seem totally rational (at least in their minds). The show has to end on a high note after all.

They did stuff off camera during filming too. Disneyland and a concert at some red rock place. Ben made a weekly date night with no cameras a priority to "protect" Lauren. Or so he said.

My take is is that the producers came to Ben and Lauren & pitched this idea that this show will just be about them, their daily life, and wedding planning with a free televised wedding afterwards. They turned it down after ATFR per what Ben has said. The producers pitched the idea a few months later again possibly with a larger paycheck or somehow made it seem more appealing to these two. They naively took the offer thnking the producers had this fairytale show in mind. I do think Ben and Lauren didn't realize that they would have events and scenes set up for them to follow a storyline, film for hours on end, or annoyingly be hounded about wedding choices. It's all very planned and executed by the producers IMO. They want the stress to get to them to cause strain, and I think that's what some of the raw emotion we saw this week was. These scenes were filmed on the last few weeks of filming and you can sense that.

I will say that for how much has been set up for them since August, its very clear the difference between filming life and their real life. They've gone to concerts this summer with friends and Ben's parents, baseball games with their friends, Lauren and Ben went to Washington for a friends wedding, Lauren's friend Megan would come down to Denver on a weekly basis with her daughter, &'they were part of a beer drinking kickball league with the whole Denver crew. None of this was shown nor were any parents and Lauren's brothers. Lauren's brothers weren't even there for the staged bachelor party. IMO if you take a closer look, it all becomes even clearer that so much of this is contrived and these two do have a strong foundation of love & for the simple things & can get back to it.

They've been living together since their finale. That's way more than just a few months off camera right? I don't get the impression that they need to 'do' stuff, they've practically done everything every other couple before them had done pre wedding. I think it's purely a mental block for Ben.

bleuberry wrote:They've been living together since their finale. That's way more than just a few months off camera right? I don't get the impression that they need to 'do' stuff, they've practically done everything every other couple before them had done pre wedding. I think it's purely a mental block for Ben.

Yep. Totally. Ben is an over thinker/over analyzer and gets trapped in his head (and needs to be talked of the ledge.)  If this wasn't apparent before (which it was), it's clear as crystal now.

Its weird to me. Ben goes on and on in the counseling session about how he NEEDS to know Lauren more, but in real time interviews both talk about how the show really made them learn SO MUCH MORE about each other. They were living together, working together, long hours, had to advocate for each other when they knew one had had enough, etc. There is a slight disconnect there. I'd argue a couple like Sean and Cat probably knew each other even less at this point, given they did DWTS for a few months post filming, which was Sean's gig, not Cat's ... long hours away from each other... and then they didn't even live together before the wedding. I remember an interview with a Catherine and Sean about a year into their marriage where they talked about the ups and downs and roller coaster of emotions that their first year of marriage was, so maybe that's when they had most of their growing pains, vs BenLo who are working through stuff now before throwing caution to the wind. Sorry... don't mean to bring up another couple and compare. But just thinking out loud.

@FMG2015 I love your post. Nicely said!

Also... someone asked what Ben and Lauren have even done together off camera... from March-July I thought they did everything right. Extended periods of time with family and friends in Warsaw and Portland. Lauren moved to Denver. They were together off camera pretty much 24/7. Lots of family involvement. Ben went back to his normal 9-5. No over the top teeth whitening or Hello Fresh adds. I LOVED BenLo in that stage. Then they made a deal with the devil and here we are... But even with the show, as others have pointed out, if you follow them closely they have managed to live their lives and have private moments just for them over these past few months of filming between the scripted nonsense and camera crews. Hiking in Denver with Ben's parents, a Denver staycation, Lauren's friends wedding, Red Rocks concert, baseball games, kickball league. So good on them for making that happen under the radar despight all the crazy.

This is TOTALLY just my speculation, but I'd guess they probably maybe a little regret this decision to do the show. And that's ok if they do, people make mistakes. You learn and grow. I'm basing this off a snap Lauren posted with their Goddaughter and you can hear Ben in the background talking to Lauren's friend Megan that they absolutely wouldn't do another season (Lauren took the snap down immediately as soon as people started commenting). And the fact that on their vacation and even in Honduras, they are still on SM, but it's a little quieter, not showy. I get the impression they are intentionally living just for them at the moment. Good on them if my assumption is correct. I hope Ben can get out of his head and they reach a place and agreement that gives them both peace and happiness.

^ Ben actually said that he and Lauren wouldn't display their relationship again, but they'd love to do something like that (for those of us that saw the snap, we don't know what "something like that" is. A lot of us assumed more TV, that wasn't focused on their relationship.) But as SoSleepy said, Lauren took down the snap almost immediately. This was when the first or second epsiode had aired.

And I would assume they regret the show on some level, especially Lauren, as they've received mostly negative feedback. IMO.

They've actually just recently been quite on SM (since being and coming home from Honduras, though not really.) Lauren has slowed down on the snapping these last 2/3 weeks, but she and Ben are on IG and Twitter a lot more now. And it makes sense as they need to promote the show and their sponsorships. IMO.

I'm thinking the things they've filmed for the show have happened, but not at the time of filming. The filming is just them reenacting these things. I think Ben called off the wedding at some point, but not when it was filmed. Does that make sense?

I'm personally disappointed that Ben and Lauren have sold their relationship short for money, but then, Ben is a reality tv pro now, so i shouldn't be surprised. I'm surprised though, how unaware maybe he is of his own negative qualities. I saw glimpse of it during his season, but ths show brings them right to the front, IMO. It's the one thing that is new info to me.

Cocoasneeze wrote:I'm thinking the things they've filmed for the show have happened, but not at the time of filming. The filming is just them reenacting these things. I think Ben called off the wedding at some point, but not when it was filmed. Does that make sense?

I'm personally disappointed that Ben and Lauren have sold their relationship short for money, but then, Ben is a reality tv pro now, so i shouldn't be surprised. I'm surprised though, how unaware maybe he is of his own negative qualities. I saw glimpse of it during his season, but ths show brings them right to the front, IMO. It's the one thing that is new info to me.

It makes sense. I can see that they would be reenacting the JoJo situation, but I don't see how they would be reenacting him calling the wedding off. That seems far fetched IMO.

And yessssss. He would get quite defensive and passive aggressive when he would get called out or questioned on his season (which was barely to begin with) IMO.

Lennoxcolinrolland wrote:

Cocoasneeze wrote:I'm thinking the things they've filmed for the show have happened, but not at the time of filming. The filming is just them reenacting these things. I think Ben called off the wedding at some point, but not when it was filmed. Does that make sense?

I'm personally disappointed that Ben and Lauren have sold their relationship short for money, but then, Ben is a reality tv pro now, so i shouldn't be surprised. I'm surprised though, how unaware maybe he is of his own negative qualities. I saw glimpse of it during his season, but ths show brings them right to the front, IMO. It's the one thing that is new info to me.

It makes sense. I can see that they would be reenacting the JoJo situation, but I don't see how they would be reenacting him calling the wedding off. That seems far fetched IMO.

And yessssss. He would get quite defensive and passive aggressive when he would get called out or questioned on his season (which was barely to begin with) IMO.

If he called off the wedding in real time 2-3 months ago, then he's REALLY in the wrong if he's suddenly ready 2-3 months from now. Just no. Then he really owes it to Lauren to take a step back, and do the things he said they need to do. Take a year to grow as a couple.

IMO his need to be awwwed at all times is so annoying. He really got upset at Jojo's AFTR, when Lauren didn't fangirl enough about his clever answer. I think this happens quite often, too. I don't think Lauren's perfect by all means, but I have no doubt her siblings have called her out on her bad qualities, and she's very aware. I don't think Ben has had that in hs life, so he's really not aware. And now when he gets called out, he becomes passive aggressive and can't take the criticism. IMO of course.