JoJo Fletcher - Jordan Rodgers - Bachelorette 12 - Discussion

More info on the double date:

http://www.etonline.com/news/195006_inside_bachelorette_jojo_fletcher_and_jordan_rodgers_double_date_with_ben_higgins_and_lauren_bushnell/

MiaHawk wrote:

avacaroline wrote:@MiaHawk, such wisdom in your post! Thank you for sharing.  It's true that the very traits that make you so successful at work, can cause a huge stumbling block in one's personal life.  I can't tell you how many times I have had to remind my husband that we aren't in a locker room and that he's not my coach.  


Here's what I will find interesting to watch....

Many of the women I know in our circle of "players/coaches" wives are, in general, ladies that don't mind having a strong leader in the home but are also very strong in who they are and very independent. They don't need constant reassurance and a ton of emotional attention.  Although I like JoJo and think that she's smart, driven, and kind, she also strikes me as a bit high maintenance and she speaks often of her insecurities in relationships.  Someone like Jordan, that won't join her out on every emotional limb, could be very grounding for her.  At the same time, he's going to have to make some big adjustments for her.  He's going to have to become more selfless.  It drove me insane every time he would say "I got what I needed or it's just what I needed".  That's the egotistical, self absorbed, tunnel vision of the athlete coming out in him and I can't see that working too well with a girl like JoJo.....

We shall see.  

I totally agree with your "what to watch" paragraph, and that is precisely why I thought Robby was a better fit for Jojo. But, like we've both said, even if someone has a tendency towards a certain approach doesn't mean that they can't learn a new one. It just might make it a bit more challenging, and hopefully he is able to hone his communication skills, too. 

I do think that Jordan has some insecurities from his (self-perceived) shortcomings in life, the comparisons to his older brother, and the family riff. Jojo herself said on the HTD that she was surprised to see how wounded he was. I heard him say several times throughout the process that he didn't want to disappoint her. That was the crux of his FRC morning note to her - an apology for hurting her by not asking for the blessing like he had said he would.  

I think Jojo is a bit of a 'fixer'. So, for me, that dynamic is a red flag. Personally, I wouldn't pick the bruised fruit. I would have picked the man who didn't have insecurities or what I perceive as some level of low self-esteem. We all know by now, I would have chosen Robby (for myself   and for Jojo). 

I remember this psychology class I took in college where the topic being discussed were family relationships. For example, if your father was a verbally abusive man, don't have the mindset of what you DON'T want to be like, instead have the mindset of what you DO want to be like. That if you are constantly focused on the negative things that you don't want to happen, you'll miss out on focusing on what you do want to happen. Don't look behind you trying to run from something. Look forward and run towards something. In other words, if he is constantly thinking I hope I don't disappoint her, then he will be destined to disappoint her in a self fulfilling prophecy of sorts. Eh, but what the heck do I know? I wish them luck.

I love your last paragraph about your psychology class. I never thought about it that way, but so true.

I agree that JoJo is a fixer. It's surprising in that it seems at odds with her being a "princess." You know I like Robby, but would he challenge her to be better or would he enable that princess part of her? She wanted Jordan despite the fact that he so obviously didn't check that box. I think JoJo and Jordan are very similar in so many ways, so the question to me is can they meet each other's needs? She can with him.. because fixer. I rewatched the LCD to see if she may have told him he was F1 as you mentioned. I'm still not sure, but what I noticed was how intently he listened to her despite the fact that she wasn't listening to him. She wouldn't let him get a word in edgewise, but he kept trying to rejoin the conversation in the place where she was rather than backtrack to the place where she was missing his point. What he was saying imo was you/the show aren't taking these special moments from me when I don't even know that I'm the one you are picking. He fought off the bubble that is this ridiculous show, so I can't fault him for that.

While he may not entirely indulge the princess in her, maybe he will challenge her to think it through more when he doesn't immediately give into her. There was an obstacle that they did manage to communicate through. He ultimately overlooked that it was too fast and she heard him enough to stop him before he proposed and tell him that she loved him. There was compromise and a win for both.

I was impressed that Jordan kept his cool when Chad poked him in the forehead. Plus, Jo was interrogating him week after week. He's proven multiple times that he's a patient guy. That may go a long way with her.

grace8136 wrote:

I love your last paragraph about your psychology class. I never thought about it that way, but so true.

I agree that JoJo is a fixer. It's surprising in that it seems at odds with her being a "princess." You know I like Robby, but would he challenge her to be better or would he enable that princess part of her? She wanted Jordan despite the fact that he so obviously didn't check that box. I think JoJo and Jordan are very similar in so many ways, so the question to me is can they meet each other's needs? She can with him.. because fixer. I rewatched the LCD to see if she may have told him he was F1 as you mentioned. I'm still not sure, but what I noticed was how intently he listened to her despite the fact that she wasn't listening to him. She wouldn't let him get a word in edgewise, but he kept trying to rejoin the conversation in the place where she was rather than backtrack to the place where she was missing his point. What he was saying imo was you/the show aren't taking these special moments from me when I don't even know that I'm the one you are picking. He fought off the bubble that is this ridiculous show, so I can't fault him for that.

While he may not entirely indulge the princess in her, maybe he will challenge her to think it through more when he doesn't immediately give into her. There was an obstacle that they did manage to communicate through. He ultimately overlooked that it was too fast and she heard him enough to stop him before he proposed and tell him that she loved him. There was compromise and a win for both.

I was impressed that Jordan kept his cool when Chad poked him in the forehead. Plus, Jo was interrogating him week after week. He's proven multiple times that he's a patient guy. That may go a long way with her.

I used the word 'fixer', but I'm not sure if that is the right word. 'Fixer' can have a negative connotation. Somebody who thinks they can dramatically change someone and save them. I don't think it is possible to 'fix' somebody else. They have to want to make the changes themselves. But having the right person by their side can go a long way in supporting them and helping them on their path to improvement.

IMO: She is a nurturer. She sees the best in people. She gives people the benefit of the doubt. She appreciates qualities in people that they may not recognize in themselves. >>>>>and all of these qualities may be what makes her an appropriate partner for him. She is able to see the diamond in the rough and will be his biggest fan. Maybe, IDK.

At this point, I have had time to process everything that happened on the finale and ATFR. I think that Jojo explained to Robby why she didn't pick him at ATFR. She said she didn't think their personalities would have meshed for the long run. She felt that Jordan's personality and hers were a better fit. So, at this point, Robby has lost out on Jojo, and there is no real possibility that he would ever get back together with her even if she and Jordan broke up. Therefore, I find myself hoping that things really do work out for Jojo and Jordan and that they do get their HEA, because then I would feel that all of Robby's pain and heartbreak wouldn't be for naught. I think Robby would be happier knowing that Jojo and Jordan got a HEA ending. I think he'd find more peace in that scenario than if Jojo and Jordan ended up going their separate ways. If Jojo and Jordan break up, then Robby might have all kinds of questions about What if...and Could we ever....  

I have no idea if Jojo and Jordan will last, but in a twist that none of you probably saw coming, I have come to that state of mind. I think that's what Robby would want, and since I'd like to see him find closure and peace in his heart, I guess that's what I want, too. It doesn't mean that I don't have my doubts or that I've forgotten about all of the red flags. it doesn't mean that I don't think the odds are stacked against them because of this crazy reality tv show and the media scrutiny, etc. But, for my Spumoni I will suck it up and try to be a better person.

During pre-season sleuthing I saw the potential of these two getting on like a house on fire and having some nice banter, but then they barely showed any of it on the show. It was all doubts and teeth pulling in between makeout sessions. Set against the backdrop of all the rumours about Jordan, it left me super pessimistic about their chances. However, the more I see them together post-show the more convinced I am that they are a really good match. They seem very natural together and I like watching their interactions, which is surprising since Jordan by himself is not really my cup of tea at all. I find myself rooting for them against all my expectations. I suppose it helps that JoJo seems deliriously happy. I also think Jordan getting his new job will be very beneficial for his self-esteem (I mean the real inner kind, not the confident front he puts on). It'll give him some focus and identity outside of being Aaron's less talented little brother. That'll be good for the relationship, since most people are better partners when they are happy with themselves and their lives.

mindless wrote:During pre-season sleuthing I saw the potential of these two getting on like a house on fire and having some nice banter, but then they barely showed any of it on the show. It was all doubts and teeth pulling in between makeout sessions. Set against the backdrop of all the rumours about Jordan, it left me super pessimistic about their chances. However, the more I see them together post-show the more convinced I am that they are a really good match. They seem very natural together and I like watching their interactions, which is surprising since Jordan by himself is not really my cup of tea at all. I find myself rooting for them against all my expectations. I suppose it helps that JoJo seems deliriously happy. I also think Jordan getting his new job will be very beneficial for his self-esteem (I mean the real inner kind, not the confident front he puts on). It'll give him some focus and identity outside of being Aaron's less talented little brother. That'll be good for the relationship, since most people are better partners when they are happy with themselves and their lives.

Love this post. They really are the peanut butter to each other's jelly.

I was not a Jordan fan during the season, watching only from an unspoiled perspective. The edit made him look less than desirable to me -- not someone who I could root for to be JoJo's F1. I have been pleasantly surprised that he seems not to be the guy TPTB portrayed him to be. (Shocking, right?!   )

I've enjoyed reading this thread. It's given me a new perspective on Jordan...so thanks all for taking the time to share experiences and post thoughts.

Personally, veg, I prefer the milk to each other's (not raisin) cookie.

I was a fan of Jordan right off the bat, the moment he was slated to be on the show and had a very strong sense that she would hit it off with him. Not because of the famous angle or because he is a jock like so many said but because of the similarities I saw between them. This before I even saw them interacting. I was shocked at how he was portrayed both on the show and off but IMO it is worth it seeing them interact with each other and the love and attraction I see d saw in between the dark edit. Part of this is to throw doubt at a very obvious season, when he told her to get out with him on night one they may as well have .

Even if they do not make the course which would not be surprising because how many couples really last ? But it is a treat to see this love story minus the thrown in crap and see them so adorable on the  other side.

This is what I watch the show for and makes me happy.  so for as long as it lasts gogogo Jojojo.

I'm really missing the "like" button. No rush, GA!

I, too, liked Jordan from the beginning. Maybe it was because I was an AR fan, so I figured Jordan is probably a good guy too, but I told myself to keep an open mind about the other contestants during the season. When I saw the photos from the M&G before the season started airing, I thought that JoJo and Jordan had a strong attraction to each other, but again I wanted to keep an open mind. Speaking of the M&G, when they met, I knew it was game over for JoJo, however he seemed a little closed-off to me in the beginning. A few episodes in, I really started to notice him falling for her and they just clicked. You can't explain it sometimes, but it just works. This is what I see post-show as well.

We are aware of the like button situation. Please be patient.
Hopefully, the situation will be remedied.

Like.

ditto like

Just look at jojo and Joelle ig today . Looks like the promotion started already like what others do   it did not take that long