Ben Higgins - Lauren Bushnell - Bachelor 20 - Discussion - #2

It's hurtful and imo yes, it's bullying.
It does not matter to me if it came from John Doe, Jane Doe, Joe Schmoe or Charlie Brown and Lucy.
And again, JMOAA, but in my experience with trolls/snerts the more fuel you add from any source, the more you feed the fire. Smother the source and it goes out.

sosleepy wrote:

peggy0221 wrote:

bleuberry wrote:Telling someone to eat more is about as tactful as telling an overweight person to get on a diet. I hear it hurts just as much, though I haven't been blessed tested with this particular problem. Wah.

Hurtful, maybe.
But bulling? Really?
Not to mentioned, I see half of those IG comments were Ben's followers name calling the trolls. They made things worse for the couple seriously.

Oh yes. Cyber bullying through social media is a HUGE deal right now. I'm a SAHM, but my background is in school counseling. Huge issue, huge deal. Fastest, easiest, and most hurtful way to bully, bar none. It's a different world out there, even from when I was growing up, and I'm only in my 30's.

I know and understand what is cyber bullying, but referring to the specific line - you are thin, you should eat more. This is not bullying, imo. I hear them a lot when I was young, I don't think my classmates were trying to tear me apart. We have bullying issue in Hong Kong too, but asking someone to eat is not one.

& I thought my Myspace days comment section were bad. It's way worse now in days. Bullying is never the answer. But silence and killing them with kindness is the best way to fight it imo. The more you engage the more they feed into the bullying even more. Ben and Lauren just need to go about their lives. Post whatever they want and just ignore the comment sections.

peggy0221 wrote:

sosleepy wrote:

peggy0221 wrote:

Hurtful, maybe.
But bulling? Really?
Not to mentioned, I see half of those IG comments were Ben's followers name calling the trolls. They made things worse for the couple seriously.

kk

Oh yes. Cyber bullying through social media is a HUGE deal right now. I'm a SAHM, but my background is in school counseling. Huge issue, huge deal. Fastest, easiest, and most hurtful way to bully, bar none. It's a different world out there, even from when I was growing up, and I'm only in my 30's.

I know and understand what is cyber bullying, but referring to the specific line - you are thin, you should eat more. This is not bullying, imo. I hear them a lot when I was young, I don't think my classmates were trying to tear me apart. We have bullying issue in Hong Kong too, but asking someone to eat is not one.

Perhaps this is a cultural difference, but here, in America, with the way the comments were worded towards Lauren, most definitely bullying. 100%. No question.

I think 80% of us here would become bully if according to the US standard, we do always ask people to eat more in RL and in cyber world. :

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Alanna wrote:They're jealous. I hate that reasoning, but considering I'm super jealous of that build, I feel like I can make a qualified judgement on it  

I hate this reasoning too, which is why I don't think it's fair to say all those trolls are just jealous IMO. Many people prefer the curvier body type and don't wish to be skinny at all. Being slim (skinny) and being curvy have different stigmas attached to them. Skinny=model and curvy= sexy. I think many of the trolls ARE jealous, but many of them also believe curvy is more attractive because it's always been made to be the bombshell type of look, which is why a lot of those people believe being too skinny is "gross" and unattractive. So I think it's a mix of being jealous that they're not that slim and thinking being that slim is "gross" because being curvier is "better". For example, I would KILL for Lauren's long legs...BUT I love my pear shaped body and wouldn't trade it for the world.

IMO.

bleuberry wrote:Telling someone to eat more is about as tactful as telling an overweight person to get on a diet. I hear it hurts just as much, though I haven't been blessed tested with this particular problem. Wah.

Exactly. It all hurts just the same.

Fingersandtoes wrote:IMO it's clear bullying when these trolls fill IG comments with body shaming. It's not one comment or ten, there are hundreds. If anyone starts to feel insecure or even depressed over receiving hundreds of shaming comments, they're not in the wrong. It's normal to feel hurt. We also don't know what goes on in these people's lives, the mean comments could be the icing on the cake, the last straw, and could cause real damage.

I actually don't think Lauren is that hurt, but more 'angry' if you will, IMO her last comment about being the same weight as before the show were fighting words. I think she thinks it's all stupid, and bunch of strangers talking bs. But I think she likes interacting on sm, and these comments kind of ruin it. Jmo of course.

I think she's angry, but based on what family/friends have said...I DO think she's hurt. Just today, one of her family friends said that she told Lauren "the masses are azzez" and try to let her know that the publics opinion of her doesn't matter. The friend also said that if she were in Lauren's shoes, she'd delete all social media, and that Lauren owes no one ANYTHING. So the fact that her fam/friends have spoken to her about this several times, does make it seem like its been in discussion for a reason and that's it hurts/bothers her on some level.

Linds911 wrote:If she/they let these comments get to them this much could put a strain on their relationship. Ben posting certain photos and then deleting them are just egging the trolls on more. IMO.

Why do you think it could put a strain on their realtionship? I do agree that deleting the post made it worse though. Now the trolls just know that it bothered Ben and/or Lauren on some level for him to delete it. They probably feel like they have power.

SarahD wrote:Jojo has rabid fans. Do you actually hear of Jojo getting much hate from Lauren's fans?

If Jojo's fake boobs is attacked, this will be considered bullying but calling Lauren bulimic or anorexic is not.

Actually, yes. There are about 5/7 Lauren fans (though, I think it's just 1 or 2 people with several accounts) that hate on JoJo ALL the time and even Ben. They're on Instagram and YouTube. The same person/people. They also threaten to be violent with anyone who disagrees with them in the comments.

And just today JoJo posted a bikini pic from her US Weekly shoot and got nothing but positive comments, just like her last two bikini photoshoot posts on her IG. All they ever talk about is wanting her body and boobs. The double standard between the two ladies is just insane. They praise JoJo's body but sh*t on Lauren's all the time.. It's just  

umngirl wrote:Dear Lauren/Ben, the block button is your friend. Use it and eliminate the trolls.

That would pretty much be all their commenters. At least 85% of them..

SeekAny wrote:I really don't think she's giving too much thought to this. She's got so many great things happening around her. She's posting on snap with friends today.  Life is good. The Lauren I grew to like this season is way too in tune with what really matters to let this stuff get her down. Obviously I'm sure it stings, but she's not crippled by this and I certainly don't think it's taking a toll on their relationship, probably making them stronger. Probably kills Ben that he can't make it stop though.

Ben deleting that pic was the best thing he could have done. Shut down the conversation immediately. He was posting about charity for goodness sakes. He wasn't going to let that nonsense continue on his picture and for his cause. I say it again, good for him. He'll be careful with future postings and it's probably for the best. They should just continue to use snap, this way they can share things but no one can leave their nasty comments.

I agree it's not making her lose sleep at night, but like I said above, it's definitely some sort of problem to her based on comments I've read.

I also think Ben deleting the pic is worse, because it makes the trolls feel as if they "won" and they're now gonna go full force on hating in his comments. It's the power aspect of it all.

All JMO.

Excellent job.

Kashathediva wrote:Excellent job.

Thanks

When you compare Ben and Lauren to these internet trolls, Ben and Lauren win. They have the power.

SeekAny wrote:When you compare Ben and Lauren to these internet trolls, Ben and Lauren win. They have the power.

In that aspect, yes. But at the end of the day, Ben and/or Lauren deleting pics with a whole bunch of hate comments, only makes the trolls believe they "won" because they got their desired outcome: a reaction. Which just means, they're going to keep on hating and EVEN MORE SO now..

Jmo.