Andi Dorfman - The Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - #6

kimberlyg wrote:"Abuser" is really damning language; especially the way she phrases it in that passage (it reads differently than the article that mentioned it).  But that sounds like almost textbook emotional abuse to me, so for now, I'm going to choose to believe her over Josh, at least from what she says in that particular passage.  Choosing to blame her for not getting red carpets because of the #25 stuff is really really really gross/horrible and is *actual* sl*t shaming.

I don't want to buy the book, but I'm curious to see more details to see how I end up feeling about all parties afterwards.  I'm negative on Andi for airing all of the dirty laundry (and I really hope she's in therapy if what she's saying about Josh is true), but at the same time, I definitely believe that Josh has a really bad temper and can be manipulative based on what we've seen, what has been said, etc.

Good post!

Almost too textbook description of emotional abuse. Unfortunately, her history of lies make me doubt anything we read from her.

The annoying thing for me is that she says she felt "trapped" but any person with a working brain could see that Josh wanted out months earlier than when he ended actually ended it. At least to me, it never looked like he was trapping her there. I think he gladly would have let her walk out the door sooner if she was willing, so therefore, that doesn't fit with her feeling "trapped." She willingly wanted to stay for various reasons IMO.

I don't think she's totally lying and I can see Josh saying those things, since he clearly has a temper and not enough brains to control it, BUT I also don't think he's necessarily like that in other relationships. Some people just bring out the worst in each other and this is Andi we're talking. No matter how "honest", it's still her interpretation of things and she has a history of playing the victim every chance she gets. Whenever someone does something she doesn't like, they're an a-hole and she's the victim. It's happened with JPG, Eric and Nick before Josh. She's the one who broke Nick's heart, yet she was acting like he'd slighted her before he even uttered the infamous question. There's just a pattern there, Andi the victim of horrible men, yet she doesn't hesitate to rip them a new one. It's just a way for her to avoid looking in the mirror.

I was also rolling my eyes at the feeling trapped bit. It seemed pretty clear Josh was over it months before the final breakup, which I'm sure contributed to the overall negativity and heartless comments. Maybe he was subconsciously sabotaging the relationship because he wanted out? Not that that's a healthy way to deal with things, but it wasn't just any relationship, so it's not that surprising that it was harder to end than usual. Just messy all around, but that doesn't mean he was the bad guy and Andi the poor victim. I don't even like Josh, but Andi isn't the person she pretended to be during the show and then she lied to him about Nick and made him feel like a fool. Is it really that surprising that sh*t eventually hit the fan? I just can't feel sorry for her.

Thank goodness it was not MEandI and Josh at the interview with Chris Manson. They would have made the Jake/Vienna interview look pleasant--a bed of roses!

Of all these craziness and hype of her book. I still remember her live finale between her and nick . When nick asked her about why did she make love with him if she thinks he is not the one . By that means their sex was just not sex . He felt it was really a deep sex and meant something to him then she just showed some attitudes and let him be the liar guy on the planet. I think for what happened to her on being on the show it was her fault . But I won't say it is all her fault . I have no idea how truthful Andi's story on her book . For sure there was two sides of story . We will never ever going to know.I think andi should not do this at all . Writing a tell all book and talked like that about Josh. She should just move on and leave that way . I understand she wants everyone to know about her side of story but what she is doing is not right . She is not the only woman who experienced that kind of past. So I guess she is not fully over about it . Jmo.

^^^Speaking of that interview with CH, how does she explain that now? Was it all an act?  If she was trapped and miserable and he was such a shi**y person towards her at the end I would think she'd be smiling and thankful it was over. But instead she couldn't stop crying over her "heartbreak".  I specifically remember her saying "knowing the way we loved each other, I think it makes it that much harder to not be together now." She was playing herself up as the victim of heartbreak that night and got a ton of sympathy.  Now she's playing herself as the victim of emotional abuse. In my experience, when someone is telling the truth their story is consistent. When they're lying their story changes.  Andi has been a very inconsistent person with her "stories" about this relationship.

^ I think she did it and acted that way to get more sympathy from public . I am guessing also she did it for publicity. Since a lot of people that time still asking between her and Josh. jmo.

The interview was just a way to get notice because Kaitlyn was coming on the scene now it is just for vindictiveness, and extra time in the spot light. I know one thing she wont get my money, she is not good enough for it.

Was looking through her quotes and excerpts and for a moment there I remembered that I had forgotten that she was in the mindset of a lawyer for a long time. Everything she writes or says in these interviews, to me, reads like a justification and like she's making a case for or against...The biggest problem with that is -- life is NOT black and white and in "pro" and "con" only. This makes her very difficult to relate to IMHO esp because she does not openly (without first jabbing at the guys) reveal her weaknesses and errors.

If this was the purpose of the book
“I think a lot of (writing the book) was kind of like to rid that embarrassment and the shame that a lot of us, especially women, feel when it comes to breaking up. You forget life isn’t perfect and social media isn’t all that real, and breakups happen and relationships fail.”

Why isn't a large part of it talking about how SHE contributed to the breakup??

That is why I say she is only book smart but not street smart.  To me she has become wasted space.  Come Monday she will be forgotten because Jojo will be taken over the rein, I suspect she will become the next best thing and Andi the witch will be gone. Cant come soon enough for me.

I am looking forward to see some major channles/media to call out her contradictory stories. I don't know if this would happen in the US, but here in Hong Kong, our newspaper outlets are furious! They would list out what the celebrities had said and sometime able to force them to apologize for lying.

But then, Andi Dorfman is a D-lister, the media are just not interested to give her more exposure.