The Bachelor 20 - Ben Higgins - Episode 9 - Discussion - #2 *Sleuthing - Spoilers*

I don't think Ben didn't love Jojo. It's obvious and we know he said it and meant it. But no matter what, she was the one he could live without and Lauren was the one he couldn't . Lauren was the one he couldn't let go. So really on that premise , imo, his love for Jojo was less than what he felt for Lauren.

With her pasts relationship and fear of opening up again, I wished Ben would have thought twice before telling her ILY if he was set on Lauren. that's why I think he was not. He wouldn't have hurt her on purpose, knowing he was not going to pick her, especially after their numerous conservations about it.

I don't think Ben wanted to hurt Jojo. Not at all! He did have strong feelings for her. She gave it her best and told her brothers that she has to let herself go to see if it could work. Maybe it could have . But would have had to compare to what he felt for Lauren. Why should he be blamed that it never quite did for whatever reason. Jmo

sde1041 wrote:With her pasts relationship and fear of opening up again, I wished Ben would have thought twice to tell her ILY if he was set on Lauren. that's why I think he was not. He wouldn't have hurt her on purpose, knowing he was not going to pick her, especially after their numerous conservations about it.

I used to think that, too. I'm (not so) secretly holding the tiniest, teenyest, shred of hope that the blindside conversation was left in the edit for the opposite reason. 
MF&co mess with these leads so much, they come to realize they do things they would never think themselves capable of IRL. 
As Ben has said in VO, he made a (huge) mistake. 
If JoJo is in fact, the jilted one, I'm actually surprised he was able to compose himself as quickly as it appears he did to propose.

agentcurls wrote:

sde1041 wrote:With her pasts relationship and fear of opening up again, I wished Ben would have thought twice to tell her ILY if he was set on Lauren. that's why I think he was not. He wouldn't have hurt her on purpose, knowing he was not going to pick her, especially after their numerous conservations about it.

I used to think that, too. I'm (not so) secretly holding the tiniest, teenyest, shred of hope that the blindside conversation was left in the edit for the opposite reason. 
MF&co mess with these leads so much, they come to realize they do things they would never think themselves capable of IRL. 
As Ben has said in VO, he made a (huge) mistake. 
If JoJo is in fact, the jilted one, I'm actually surprised he was able to compose himself as quickly as it appears he did to propose.

IMO Ben's huge mistake is telling JoJo that he loved her.

I think that Jojo is smart and she's really good at picking 'tells'. The fact that she acknowledged Ben's special treatment of other girls (aka Lauren) in Mexico and then in the Bahamas gives her a reason to be more cautious. Even though Jojo said she loved Ben, I think it's not as deep as when Lauren admitted her love for Ben. When Ben said ILY to Jojo, her surprise was more "YOU SAID IT!!" versus Lauren's surprise which was "YOU DO???".

I do think Ben and Jojo loved each other. Maybe more as friends. Friends with intense attraction. But that's just it. It's the kind that fades the moment the sun sets. So I'm not surprised if she got over him quickly. She didn't fall 100% IMHO. Not that I think she does as she says.

I do think he was set on Lauren early on. It was obvious to the rest of the women, even JoJo. It doesn't mean he didn't like JoJo a lot but I don't think he ever seriously considered picking her unless he felt Lauren would bolt. The leads all pretty much know who they're picking at this point and Ben is no exception. The argument that the lead wouldn't do this or that to the F2 if they knew who the F1 was comes up a lot. Why would Kaitlyn bring Nick to the F2 after what happened the last time just to dump him when she knew she was picking Shawn? Why didn't Brad let Chantal go when she asked him to if he wasn't feeling it when he knew he was picking Emily? It doesn't mean they were purposely trying to hurt the F2 but most of them are going to do what TPTB tell them to get through the season, especially at the end when they're drained. I see Ben as a puppet who did exactly what TPTB wanted to mask an obvious season that was pretty much spoiled before filming was over. It was already figured here that Lauren would be the F1 after the pics came out of her and Ben's second 1-on-1 and RS let it be known shortly after that the women all knew Lauren would be the F1 halfway through and he'd be surprised if she wasn't the F1. So what now? They had to do something like this. It would've been a ho hum finale otherwise. No way did this guy just "break the rules" and tell two women he loved them on camera without TPTB's permission. I could buy someone like Brad or Juan Pablo being a rule breaker but not a people pleaser like Ben.

JMO.

charmained wrote:I think that Jojo is smart and she's really good at picking 'tells'. The fact that she acknowledged Ben's special treatment of other girls (aka Lauren) in Mexico and then in the Bahamas gives her a reason to be more cautious. Even though Jojo said she loved Ben, I think it's not as deep as when Lauren admitted her love for Ben. When Ben said ILY to Jojo, her surprise was more "YOU SAID IT!!" versus Lauren's surprise which was "YOU DO???".

I do think Ben and Jojo loved each other. Maybe more as friends. Friends with intense attraction. But that's just it. It's the kind that fades the moment the sun sets. So I'm not surprised if she got over him quickly. She didn't fall 100% IMHO. Not that I think she does as she says.

Yes, I don't think she was as "invested" as Lauren. (Lauren's word)

AmoreBella wrote:http://m.etonline.com/news/183524_ben_higgins_revealed_how_he_knew_his_fiancee_was_the_one/

I feel so much better after seeing this. Things are okay in BenLo land, IMO. Thank you Amore for posting.

That's where I differ.
I believe Jojo was very much invested, and she appeared to me as even more invested in Ben than Lauren.
We all perceive things differently.

Seo2 wrote:

AmoreBella wrote:http://m.etonline.com/news/183524_ben_higgins_revealed_how_he_knew_his_fiancee_was_the_one/

I feel so much better after seeing this. Things are okay in BenLo land, IMO. Thank you Amore for posting.

yay!!!! please ben don't let lauren go!

Kashathediva wrote:I not a very religious person, but I am fairly spiritual.  I might have taken a moment of quiet reflection to pray for the turtles, also. I have done this at times when I have come across road kill. Probably TMI for most of you.

I do the same....and for random people who seem to be struggling. TMI here too but I am glad to hear someone else does this.