The Bachelor 20 - Ben Higgins - Episode 9 - Discussion - #2 *Sleuthing - Spoilers*

AmyB wrote: It may be a TV show, but it does still involve real people and real emotions, and I do think that both Lauren and JoJo were genuine in declaring their love for him.

AmyB wrote: That's why I feel so awful that one of them is going to get the rug pulled out from under them next week. 

MVMom39forever wrote:So wow...finally I see it with Jo Jo. Wonder if this is one big huge foiler season. Seriously, tough call.

What's hilarious is my husband who never watches with me said he was making mistake letting Caila go. So there's 9ne vote for her as Bachelorette

Maddy wrote:Kelly Travis ‏@kellytravisty  
Honestly, Jojo is the only girl out of Ben's league. #TheBachelor

right...

Maddy wrote:It's a crazy show, guys, and Ben is a victim of it as anybody else. It is very difficult for a young guy who is trying to figure out himself and how he feels,

AmyB wrote:

adj13 wrote:It seems like everyone is forgetting that this is A TV SHOW!!! The drama is amplified, the feelings are amplified... Everything is blown out of proportion!

Should Ben have told both girls he loved them? No. But IMO, Ben was saying what he felt in the moment with each girl. When he went on his date with JoJo, he didn't know Lauren would later confess her love for him. He only knew that JoJo loved him and he felt feelings of love for her too. So being the honest, in the moment, caring guy that he is, he expressed that. Was he thinking about the future and the repercussions? Obviously not, but if he was, he would be playing this whole thing safe and he wouldn't be being true to himself. As Trista Sutter just tweeted, "Without risk, there is no reward!"

In the end, he loved both girls at the end of this process, but loved one more than the other and could truly see his life with one over the other. (I will also say that I still believe his I love yous to Lauren seemed much more sincere and heartfelt).  

Obviously he has told his F1 about all of this. He isn't stupid! And no, it can't be easy to watch, but I feel like the ITM tonight of Lauren saying "I certainly think it's possible to be in love with two people" or something to that extent, already shows us that she is forgiving and understanding about this whole crazy process and the feelings that can develop. Freaking out that she needs to dump him right now over something that happened in November is a little outrageous, IMO. We have no idea how their relationship has developed since this was filmed 4 months ago.

This show is not real life, in real life you don't date multiple people at once, therefore, the rule of the relationship while on this show obviously do not apply the way they would in real life. Now that the show is over, the rule apply, but anything that happened while filming cannot be held against the lead, IMO.

It may be a TV show, but it does still involve real people and real emotions, and I do think that both Lauren and JoJo were genuine in declaring their love for him. That's why I feel so awful that one of them is going to get the rug pulled out from under them next week. 

I said this during Kaitlyn's season, so I find it to be applicable to Ben as well - abiding by "I said I loved you because that's what I felt in that moment," is selfish. It's prioritizing your own emotions above the other person when you're the one who's in control of the situation and therefore leading them on. Choosing to tell both girls he's in love with them multiple times instead of keeping it to himself until the FRC can (and should, frankly) be held against the lead. Nobody is holding a gun to his head and forcing him to give that kind of affirmation to his F2 over and over and over. I just felt really horrible for JoJo to see her reaction to him saying "I love you too" in the waterfall and how happy she was, knowing that she's most likely going to be blindsided next week (especially because he says "I love you" - again! - at their LCD).