Joelle Fletcher - (JoJo) - Bachelor 20 - *Sleuthing - Spoilers* - #2

Luckily, my late husband and I had it good with the parents on both sides but that didn't happen with my brother or his brother with their first wives. So, there was awkward tension and hurt feelings at family events, etc. Something no one wants in their life if they can avoid it. So, I can see why Ben would talk things over with his parents about his confusion - perhaps hear their initial reaction to each - weigh the pros and cons - especially after what happened with JoJo's family encounter. The end result may have been one factor in many though.

My son dates women of all types, religions and races so I don't have many pre-conceived notions of what a daughter in-law might be like some day except perhaps kind, smart and funny. My late hubby and I had a pact that unless the woman is a criminal or abuser, we would make it work with her because our son, (future) grandchildren and family, in general, is the priority and we'd hate to be shut out. JMO

NCGalBecca wrote:Luckily, my late husband and I had it good with the parents on both sides but that didn't happen with my brother or his brother with their first wives. So, there was awkward tension and hurt feelings at family events, etc. Something no one wants in their life if they can avoid it. So, I can see why Ben would talk things over with his parents about his confusion - perhaps hear their initial reaction to each - weigh the pros and cons - especially after what happened with JoJo's family encounter. The end result may have been one factor in many though.

My son dates women of all types, religions and races so I don't have many pre-conceived notions of what a daughter in-law might be like some day except perhaps kind, smart and funny. My late hubby and I had a pact that unless the woman is a criminal or abuser, we would make it work with her because our son, (future) grandchildren and family, in general, is the priority and we'd hate to be shut out. JMO

can I adopt you as honorary MIL?

Of course..that's nice of you to say, Sophie..I give my late hubby all the credit for this one. He taught me a lot.

avacaroline wrote:

sophienette wrote:the point is that it shouldnt matter, even if he is close to his parents, their preference doesnt matter in the decision to spend  life with someone. IMO (and Lucas' i think!)

Oh, I agree!  I'm just always curious about the nuts and bolts of things....

Totally.  There's always a beginning and an end, but it's the story in between that is the show IMO. If I didn't get pulled into that story each year, and just thought, "yeah this always happens" about everything, I wouldn't still be watching 20 seasons in.  It's the human element each season and how people are unique and different and handle the process that is interesting to me. The template is the same, the people make it interesting year after year.

Ben's mom's part in that preview is an interesting part of the story to discuss IMO. I don't think it impacts how he feels or his choice at all, but to me, it helps validate my opinion that there is something there between Ben and Jojo that is almost as strong as what he has with Lauren and it's not based on editing, scripting, producer manipulation and tv trickery - JMO.  And I understand all that happens, I've been watching and reading from the start.  I still try to watch for the human element in the midst of the tv stuff.

I don't quite understand why Mama Higgins' comment is getting everyone in a tizzy. Sometimes we gravitate towards a certain type of personality for a reason. Either a ) that person is very much like us or b) they are the total opposite of us and we find that to be intriguing. I'm sure Mama Higgins likes Lauren just as well, but maybe she preferred JoJo for whatever reason. The bottom line is Ben will make his final decision, not his father or his mother...and if he allows his mother to make it for him, well, then he is more of a wimp than I thought.

Mommyof1 wrote:I don't quite understand why Mama Higgins' comment is getting everyone in a tizzy.  Sometimes we gravitate towards a certain type of personality for a reason.  Either a ) that person is very much like us or b) they are the total opposite of us and we find that to be intriguing.  I'm sure Mama Higgins likes Lauren just as well, but maybe she preferred JoJo for whatever reason.  The bottom line is Ben will make his final decision, not his father or his mother...and if he allows his mother to make it for him, well, then he is more of a wimp than I thought.

I don't either. It's not like she said "OMG, I can't stand Lauren, he should pick JoJo". She was asked/forced to pick one and she went with the one who she felt was better for Ben for whatever reason. She even said it was nothing personal. I don't think it's that complicated. Even the episode description said she was impressed by JoJo's vulnerability and I get that. Lauren is a bit more reserved and doesn't put everything out there right away like JoJo. As a mom, she's bound to gravitate towards the one who's more open about her feelings. It doesn't mean Lauren's feelings for Ben are any less, she just saw more of JoJo's in the short time they had together. I'm sure she's fine with whoever makes her son happy and seems like Lauren does.

It could be very interesting if the tizzy table turns and Amy's comment was about which girl she would send home and not which girl she would pick for Ben. We can agree that that short clip is misleading at best, bending things Jojo's way. But, what if it's not? I just feel they are trying to elevate Jojo as high as possible , only to drop her at the finale. Greater shock value.

she does say "pick for Ben" and it doesnt seem edited!! But as I and others have said, past couples now married had to deal with the same kind of stuff from families, so I am little "so what" about it!

Sprite wrote:

GuardianAngel wrote:

Lucas15 wrote:

So would I GA. The only reasoning she gave was what Ben had said to her about JoJo - she mentioned nothing about having actually met JoJo or anything she saw between Ben and JoJo which seem to me to be much more pertinent than a description Ben gave of someone she'd never met.

Exactly. If I was saying I would prefer so and so for my son, I wouldn't be crying. Was she told to say that? IDK but it looked awkward that she was fighting back tears while she was saying who she would prefer.

I'm a mother to a 33 yr old son. I would tell my son that he should chose the one he prefers. Yes mother/son's IMO have a special relationship, but I would never tell him who he should marry. I have told him I didn't like a particular person he was dating, but that's his choice, his path to follow in life. Live and learn, and boy did he ever learn.

Does she actually tell Ben who she prefers or is that only in an ITM?

Duplicate

Sprite wrote:

GuardianAngel wrote:

Lucas15 wrote:

So would I GA. The only reasoning she gave was what Ben had said to her about JoJo - she mentioned nothing about having actually met JoJo or anything she saw between Ben and JoJo which seem to me to be much more pertinent than a description Ben gave of someone she'd never met.

Exactly. If I was saying I would prefer so and so for my son, I wouldn't be crying. Was she told to say that? IDK but it looked awkward that she was fighting back tears while she was saying who she would prefer.

I'm a mother to a 33 yr old son. I would tell my son that he should chose the one he prefers. Yes mother/son's IMO have a special relationship, but I would never tell him who he should marry. I have told him I didn't like a particular person he was dating, but that's his choice, his path to follow in life. Live and learn, and boy did he ever learn.

Does she actually tell Ben who she prefers or is that only in an ITM?

IMO, all mothers and fathers should give their honest opinion about who they think is best, but, it still will be his decision whether he will follow or not. And if I am Ben, I will take it in consideration along with other factors and make a decision. He is so close to his parent, how can he not consult them? He took Emily there and said his parents opinion really matters to him. JMO
As far as mom crying, I believe, it has to do with his past heartbreak, she probably lived it with him. That is her only son, she wants him to be happy just like she is in her marriage. This is an emotional time for her, her son is picking a woman he will spent the rest of his life with, I get it, this is huge, I remember Nicks mom getting emotional with Andi as well as Chris's mom.JMO

What I don't understand is why the F2's connection needs to be downplayed with the lead. Is it that hard to believe that Ben fell for both women? I know during other seasons, the F2 person was just taken to the end because the show must go on...for example, Tenley and I'm sure there were others. This time, I believe Ben fell in (bubble) love with both Lauren and JoJo and that is why it will be an emotional finale. Some see Ben's strong connection with Lauren and some see Ben's strong connection with JoJo, so I say the editors have done their job...and have done it well!

Mommyof1 wrote:What I don't understand is why the F2's connection needs to be downplayed with the lead.  Is it that hard to believe that Ben fell for both women?  I know during other seasons, the F2 person was just taken to the end because the show must go on...for example, Tenley and I'm sure there were others.  This time, I believe Ben fell in (bubble) love with both Lauren and JoJo and that is why it will be an emotional finale.  Some see Ben's strong connection with Lauren and some see Ben's strong connection with JoJo, so I say the editors have done their job...and have done it well!  

IMO the initial 'leaks' made it seem that Ben said the ily to F2 by accident and had to be told by producers what he had done. After seeing his verbal ily diarrhoea to both ladies, I have no doubt he had strong feelings and fell for both Lauren and JoJo.