Re: Becca Tilly - Bachelor 20 - #3 - *Sleuthing - Spoilers*

by Guest Tue Dec 15, 2015 12:47 pm

bleuberry wrote:I don't put TOO much into what the contestant's friends and family are saying. Of course they don't think their loved one is attention/fame seeking. They wanna believe the best in them. That's where we come in .

Seriously! Is anyone ever really going to say "I talked to Becca's close family and friends and they confirmed it: she's obsessed with fame and attention! And, yup, Ben told her not to come but she still went! Can you believe that?". Nothing wrong with loved ones defending her and seeing the best in her, but it doesn't exactly make them the most impartial sources. JMO.

by Guest Tue Dec 15, 2015 1:07 pm

DebutAlbum wrote:
eversotrue wrote:I just find it funny and ironic that she apparently said Ben "might be the one" and the meet and greet. Like, really? She saw him on tv, heard good things about him from people who know him, thought he was pretty...and she thought he would be the "the one" from just that..? Ok.

They talked before he left for filming. I get the feeling that their conversations were more than a simple "Hi. I'm (insert name here)," like RS is insinuating.

I think RS used the word "briefly" in comparison to Nick/Kaitlyn who were talking hours every day for 2 months. He did say in a previous post that they were definitely in contact. IMO, that makes it even worse - if Ben had multiple conversations with her and wasn't smitten or asking for her to do the show (like Kaitlyn did with Nick), she should have taken that as a pretty strong sign he wasn't interested. JMO.

by california90 Tue Dec 15, 2015 1:17 pm

nothatgirl wrote:
bleuberry wrote:I don't put TOO much into what the contestant's friends and family are saying. Of course they don't think their loved one is attention/fame seeking. They wanna believe the best in them. That's where we come in .
Seriously! Is anyone ever really going to say "I talked to Becca's close family and friends and they confirmed it: she's obsessed with fame and attention! And, yup, Ben told her not to come but she still went! Can you believe that?". Nothing wrong with loved ones defending her and seeing the best in her, but it doesn't exactly make them the most impartial sources. JMO.

Agreed. Nothing wrong, but IMO it makes it worse at times. I'll tend to not even believe them it unless I think otherwise/have very good reason from the contestant to believe so.

by **Sprite** Tue Dec 15, 2015 1:47 pm

AllAboutLove wrote:
I think her style is the same. I didn't care for her very short dress last season (and I recall it being discussed then) nor her M&G dress this season. Looks tacky and cheap, imo.

As for how viewers will respond? That is yet TBD but it won't surprise me if she is liked. The response already seems to be favorable based on SM and comments and if anything, I think having Amber there will be the buffer for most negativity. As in, viewers will side with one girl over the other and I would bet that girl will be Becca over Amber. That's why I think it was strategic for TPTB to have two girls (kind of like with Kaitlyn and Britt) as returnees. It makes the audience choose a side. :Nod:

I really don't see why they would need a buffer for the negativity if Becca is so well liked. Negativity follows anyone who comes on the show the second time...even the lead usually doesn't fare as well the second time around when it's their own show. And why should Amber get more of the negativity? They are coming together, for the same purpose, why should she get more? Isn't she as deserving of love? There is no need to choose sides between these two since there will be plenty of women that the audience can choose from. If anything, both of them will get a backlash for returning since they already had their chance.

It will be interesting to see the longer season preview. I'll be curious to see if they focus on Becca's and Amber's return the way they did on Nick's last season. How tptb decide to present it will set the tone of what will come.

by Guest Tue Dec 15, 2015 2:03 pm

DebutAlbum wrote:IMO, she is done with the franchise unless she is the next Bachelorette. I'm basing that on conversations I've had with people who would know.

From someone who loved Becca last season .... I think this is the reason she returned. Sure, she may have thought like most viewers Ben seems like a good, nice looking guy and she'd enjoy dating him, but IMO she probably knew the likelihood of ending up with him was really small, but if she could get to the end again and show more personality and a willingness to really fall for someone she'd have a great shot at the Bachelorette (IMO she seemed sarcastically ticked off last year that people thought she was quiet and reserved and that makes me nervous for how she'll approach this season).

I don't fault her. But I don't think she has/had any chance at all, same as I felt about Nick last season, if you return as a contestant and have 2 seasons as a major player on the show, you're not getting a third time as the lead. I just can't ever see that happening. It's just too much redundancy with anyone. So I'm sure the producers made it seem possible, but I doubt it ever was.

Also, Becca's nature doesn't fit as the lead or as someone who should return, IMO. She explained why the show didn't work for her. She kept true to herself. It's too bad her role as such a classy, realistic person last season might take a turn for the worse with this go around. I really wish her well in opening up to finding someone in real life, hopefully someone not from this franchise.

by mindless Tue Dec 15, 2015 2:08 pm

albean99 wrote:I didn't care much for Becca in her 1st season because she clearly didn't feel that the show's format fit her style yet she stayed on until the end. She made it clear that she didn't see herself falling in love in that length of time let alone getting engaged so why go on the show at all? Now it seems that she can't get enough of the tv time because while Ben seems to be a great guy, I'm sure there are plenty of equally great guys in SD. I do believe she was warned off whether directly or not and she went anyway because that's what she wanted to do.

So now it appears she wants the Bachelorette gig and I'm pretty sure she knows the show is still the same length that it always was and you're expected to fall in love with someone by the end. I just hope that Fleiss knows that it would probably be the most boring season ever with the longest RCs - "I didn't have enough time to decide who to keep......". It would be a cliffhanger all right.

Regarding the bolded, how could she know in advance how long it takes her to fall in love, when she's never been in love? She might fall in love in a day if she met the right person, or it might take her 6 months. Hard to know if it's never happened before. Yes, she did bring up the lack of time she had with Chris several times after the season, but it was mostly in her own defense, since people (especially CH) kept implying there's something wrong with her. I think it was very reasonable of her to point out that they only spent a total of 4 days together, even if filming lasted two months. I don't recall her saying that she could never ever fall in love that fast, just that she didn't with Chris. Again, how could she know what'll happen once the right guy comes along? I guess she felt pretty strongly about Ben before filming and thought this could end differently. That's what I tend to believe, but everyone's entitled to their opinion of course.

by rhondam Tue Dec 15, 2015 2:17 pm

Sprite wrote:
AllAboutLove wrote:Yup, Ben spun his wheels when he had zero interest in his roommate's girl yet played the game, etc, etc. He wasn't "honest" at all about that then, imo, but seems to get accolades for his pretense. If Ben himself was a return contestant on another Bette season I think he would get the same backlash but because he is lead he bypasses that.

As for Becca and what she said about CS it seems she was just being honest but should have just "pretended". And the thing is just because she said that then doesn't mean it should apply for this season or lead - totally different person and no one falls in love because of a timeline anyway (it can be instant or take time) - something she may have realized post-last season. I just don't see her one time statement at an ATFR where it is meaningless what is said on that show, IMO, should be taken to reflect her perspective now.

Funny thing is, if she had been spinning her wheels like Ben perhaps she would have been the Bette if she was let go at F3 instead since she was so on the fence during FDs. Who knows. It's all speculation. But what I have noticed is that Becca is likely to be one of the most well-received/well-liked returnees based on early overall SM responses. Many comments wishing she will win and even those saying they hate returnees but love her. While I don't consider myself a fan or hers I don't dislike her either and couldn't care less about her being on Farmer Douche's season or Ben's season. Who knows, I actually might like her more on Ben's season than the other girls. TWT

They all play the game. I don't have a problem with that. Part of the game is pretending that you are in love or at least somewhat hurt/disappointed that the lead wasn't into you. Some are better at faking it than others. That is expected on the show. What is not expected is someone who clearly states that she has never been in love, shows no sign of being in love, shows no sign of being disappointed because she wasn't picked and declares that the process is too fast for her to fall in love, then attempts to come back to fall in love with another guy she is crushing on. snip.

I don't believe all play the game. I think that some of these contestants develop real feelings for the leads otherwise people wouldn't bother watching the show if it's all pretend anyway. The contestant's and lead's feelings are real but amplified due to the bubble effect and depends on the level they are willing to be vulnerable. Some feel no connection or not enough and pretend. Some feel the beginnings of a connection but feel it is too soon to let their guard down completely to allow that necessary connection to fall even deeper. Etc other levels of feelings.

Becca had never been in love—rare at her age but not alien sightings rare. I think she definitely showed signs of beginning to fall in love. I believe that many are mistaking her being logical, cautious, wary, guarded and confused—add to that, not being over emotional for the camera—for not falling in love and not being hurt. Everyone displays or holds in our emotions differently, it doesn't mean we don't feel them similarly. I've watched this season twice. The first time as tptb chose for me to see it. The second time closely, with a critical eye and ear wary of the edit and discerning what likely really happened for these contestants and it is a different but better show to me and even better love story.

I've keep reading here that Becca declares this process is too fast for her. Will someone please point me in the direction of where I can watch/read this? TYIA

by **Sprite** Tue Dec 15, 2015 2:49 pm

relaxing wrote:
DebutAlbum wrote:IMO, she is done with the franchise unless she is the next Bachelorette. I'm basing that on conversations I've had with people who would know.

From someone who loved Becca last season .... I think this is the reason she returned. Sure, she may have thought like most viewers Ben seems like a good, nice looking guy and she'd enjoy dating him, but IMO she probably knew the likelihood of ending up with him was really small, but if she could get to the end again and show more personality and a willingness to really fall for someone she'd have a great shot at the Bachelorette (IMO she seemed sarcastically ticked off last year that people thought she was quiet and reserved and that makes me nervous for how she'll approach this season).

I don't fault her. But I don't think she has/had any chance at all, same as I felt about Nick last season, if you return as a contestant and have 2 seasons as a major player on the show, you're not getting a third time as the lead. I just can't ever see that happening. It's just too much redundancy with anyone. So I'm sure the producers made it seem possible, but I doubt it ever was.

Also, Becca's nature doesn't fit as the lead or as someone who should return, IMO. She explained why the show didn't work for her. She kept true to herself. It's too bad her role as such a classy, realistic person last season might take a turn for the worse with this go around. I really wish her well in opening up to finding someone in real life, hopefully someone not from this franchise.

This is exactly what I am thinking. She will try to appear more outgoing, sexy, show more personality...and tptb will nail her in the edit. From a few things we have seen from her SM, I think she already suspects this.

by **Sprite** Tue Dec 15, 2015 3:00 pm

mindless wrote:
albean99 wrote:I didn't care much for Becca in her 1st season because she clearly didn't feel that the show's format fit her style yet she stayed on until the end. She made it clear that she didn't see herself falling in love in that length of time let alone getting engaged so why go on the show at all? Now it seems that she can't get enough of the tv time because while Ben seems to be a great guy, I'm sure there are plenty of equally great guys in SD. I do believe she was warned off whether directly or not and she went anyway because that's what she wanted to do.

So now it appears she wants the Bachelorette gig and I'm pretty sure she knows the show is still the same length that it always was and you're expected to fall in love with someone by the end. I just hope that Fleiss knows that it would probably be the most boring season ever with the longest RCs - "I didn't have enough time to decide who to keep......". It would be a cliffhanger all right.

Regarding the bolded, how could she know in advance how long it takes her to fall in love, when she's never been in love? She might fall in love in a day if she met the right person, or it might take her 6 months. Hard to know if it's never happened before. Yes, she did bring up the lack of time she had with Chris several times after the season, but it was mostly in her own defense, since people (especially CH) kept implying there's something wrong with her. I think it was very reasonable of her to point out that they only spent a total of 4 days together, even if filming lasted two months. I don't recall her saying that she could never ever fall in love that fast, just that she didn't with Chris. Again, how could she know what'll happen once the right guy comes along? I guess she felt pretty strongly about Ben before filming and thought this could end differently. That's what I tend to believe, but everyone's entitled to their opinion of course.

None of us knows how long it will take us to fall in love, but the fact that she admits she has never been in love...despite dating some guy on and off for years...indicates that it doesn't bode well. Also the fact that the process was difficult for her last year again indicates that it doesn't bode well. The show process will not change. How does she think anything will be any different this season...or if she is the Bette...if she is naturally reserved and cautious when it comes to relationships? It just doesn't make sense to me....unless what she is really looking for is attention and the ability to promote more junk.

There is nothing wrong with not being able to fall in love on the show or with wanting to sell cr*p, but she needs to at least have the ability to sell the fantasy or she will really get a lot of negativity thrown her way.

by Guest Tue Dec 15, 2015 3:52 pm

stuckinsc wrote:JMO, unlike others who have claimed to fall in love with their lead and therefore "know" it can work, Becca was very distinct in pointing out how the time frame was not sufficient to allow her never been in love self to open up and fall in love. She even told f.d. she needed more time to fall in love. That is the problem.

Oh and we have been questioning the sincerity and fairness of coming back since Mary on Byron's season. The only comeback F1. Now it could be said after having a FS with Blob, Mary was the most deserving comeback candidate ever. I believe she was also two season's from having been a contestant, not one.

by IWouldMarryAshleyI Tue Dec 15, 2015 4:21 pm

A waste of time. She needs to do some self examination and fix whatever blockage she has going on. Either she just wasnt feeling Chris Soules or she has some rather serious intimacy problems, probably from previous bad experiences and low self esteem. Chris S should really have sent her home long before she got to the final four. A real time waster and indecisive. Hey, if you don't want me at least as much as I want you, then what is the point when there are others who are much more interested?

by IWouldMarryAshleyI Tue Dec 15, 2015 4:26 pm

albean99 wrote:I didn't care much for Becca in her 1st season because she clearly didn't feel that the show's format fit her style yet she stayed on until the end. She made it clear that she didn't see herself falling in love in that length of time let alone getting engaged so why go on the show at all? Now it seems that she can't get enough of the tv time because while Ben seems to be a great guy, I'm sure there are plenty of equally great guys in SD. I do believe she was warned off whether directly or not and she went anyway because that's what she wanted to do.

So now it appears she wants the Bachelorette gig and I'm pretty sure she knows the show is still the same length that it always was and you're expected to fall in love with someone by the end. I just hope that Fleiss knows that it would probably be the most boring season ever with the longest RCs - "I didn't have enough time to decide who to keep......". It would be a cliffhanger all right.

I totally agree, but there is one factor involved which has changed. It is a new man. He is much more attractive by some standards than her previous choice. She is still going to be very boring though. Hopefully Ben is smart enough to know how to deal with the flaky time wasters. bestbud!

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