Marriage Boot Camp - Season 4 - *Sleuthing Spoilers* - Discussion

They aren't really psychologists, they are sort of facilitators like you get at corporate retreats, I agree.

That said, living in that house thinking about your life and history and your partner for two weeks with all those drills is bound to scratch into real stuff.

None of will help unless they get the therapy needed afterwards, I concur there.

But not to defend this crap format which is for ratings and advertising, of course, but there's something about it that gets through to those really broken people who agree to go on reality TV in the first place. The Bachelor/ette franchise draws from a different segment of society than these other shows, but on the inside, I would hypothesize many are broken and need some fixing in very similar ways. Who signs those agreements and lives in a Produced / Filmed / Edited / Aired environment? Not everyone.

Well said, jlccaz.

I'm not watching but from what I've read it sounds like S/C should consider some kind of therapy. A baby will only make things more stressful. If nothing else, maybe a therapist could help them learn to have an argument without being hurtful.

With all due respect to different opinions, Elizabeth has a Master's degree in counseling psychology. Jim has 21 years experience in relationship therapy. The exercises & drills they use are actually quite effective at revealing each participant's issues. IMHO. 

 If SeanCat wanted counseling for the very real issues in their marriage, they could have worked with the Carrolls privately. MBC offices are headquartered in Plano, TX - a 20 minute drive (with traffic) from the Lowes. MBC workshops in a format similar to the tv show are offered in Dallas throughout the year with one starting February 24, another on March 30 and so on. The church they attend has many qualified Christian counselors with referrals available for many more. Facts, not my opinion.

Sean was raised in a loving, Christian home by two parents that support and enable him to do anything his little heart desires. His college degree, that was paid for by a football scholarship, is evidently collecting dust in a frame somewhere. Sean is entitled and enabled - definitely my opinion. Compare that to the "anger issue" guy Benzino who was in a gang as a teen and was shot by his own nephew while on the way to his mother's funeral. Now he has reason to be angry!

I do feel sorry for Catherine. It's probably been quite a shock to realize the man she "won" on the Bachelor isn't much like the man she sleeps next to every night. IMHO.

FLChica wrote:With all due respect to different opinions, Elizabeth has a Master's degree in counseling psychology. Jim has 21 years experience in relationship therapy. The exercises & drills they use are actually quite effective at revealing each participant's issues. IMHO. 

 If SeanCat wanted counseling for the very real issues in their marriage, they could have worked with the Carrolls privately. MBC offices are headquartered in Plano, TX - a 20 minute drive (with traffic) from the Lowes. MBC workshops in a format similar to the tv show are offered in Dallas throughout the year with one starting February 24, another on March 30 and so on. The church they attend has many qualified Christian counselors with referrals available for many more. Facts, not my opinion.

Sean was raised in a loving, Christian home by two parents that support and enable him to do anything his little heart desires. His college degree, that was paid for by a football scholarship, is evidently collecting dust in a frame somewhere. Sean is entitled and enabled - definitely my opinion. Compare that to the "anger issue" guy Benzino who was in a gang as a teen and was shot by his own nephew while on the way to his mother's funeral. Now he has reason to be angry!

I do feel sorry for Catherine. It's probably been quite a shock to realize the man she "won" on the Bachelor isn't much like the man she sleeps next to every night. IMHO.

I don't feel sorry for Cat, because I think Cat loves Sean and seems happy with him. Them having problems in their first few years in their marriage is a norm, just because a couple fight doesn't mean they should throw the towel. I think both of them came with baggage that they hid and now being in a place has made them decipher it more. Just because you come from a normal family doesn't mean you don't have baggage of your own or insecurity. Some messed up people are the ones that come from a normal family.

Fighting is normal and can be healthy in relationships. It's how you fight and their need to show a perfect front that I don't like. Be more real like the others and yo will get more respect. And I am just not talking edit. Trista and Ryan had by far the smallest issues on their season spout they were real and open and through that were overall respected and liked. I don't get that same feeling with SeanCat. The others in the house see through their facade and don't seem to respect them because they know they are hiding and not putting on the real work, Sean especially.

I think overall they are happy, they are just not even close in reality to the people they try to protray.

Tiggerlgh wrote:Fighting is normal and can be healthy in relationships.  It's how you fight and their need to show a perfect front that I don't like.   Be more real like the others and yo will get more respect.  And I am just not talking edit.  Trista and Ryan had by far the smallest issues on their season spout they were real and open and through that were overall respected and liked.  I don't get that same feeling with SeanCat.  The others in the house see through their facade and don't seem to respect them because they know they are hiding and not putting on the real work, Sean especially.

I think overall they are happy, they are just not even close in reality to the people they try to protray.

I agree, I think the main problem with Cat and Sean is they thought this show was bellow them and tried to hide their problems with a facade of perfectionist. If they were more open and stopped acting like they are above the show it wouldn't have escalated to what we are seeing now. Having said that, I don't believe they regret their marriage and don't understand the sympathy some have for Cat like she is unhappy. Just because a couple is fighting and having problems doesn't mean they are unhappy. Its life, not everyday its going to be perfect, the will be ups and downs its they way it is.

StacyNor wrote:

FLChica wrote:With all due respect to different opinions, Elizabeth has a Master's degree in counseling psychology. Jim has 21 years experience in relationship therapy. The exercises & drills they use are actually quite effective at revealing each participant's issues. IMHO. 

 If SeanCat wanted counseling for the very real issues in their marriage, they could have worked with the Carrolls privately. MBC offices are headquartered in Plano, TX - a 20 minute drive (with traffic) from the Lowes. MBC workshops in a format similar to the tv show are offered in Dallas throughout the year with one starting February 24, another on March 30 and so on. The church they attend has many qualified Christian counselors with referrals available for many more. Facts, not my opinion.

Sean was raised in a loving, Christian home by two parents that support and enable him to do anything his little heart desires. His college degree, that was paid for by a football scholarship, is evidently collecting dust in a frame somewhere. Sean is entitled and enabled - definitely my opinion. Compare that to the "anger issue" guy Benzino who was in a gang as a teen and was shot by his own nephew while on the way to his mother's funeral. Now he has reason to be angry!

I do feel sorry for Catherine. It's probably been quite a shock to realize the man she "won" on the Bachelor isn't much like the man she sleeps next to every night. IMHO.

I don't feel sorry for Cat, because I think Cat loves Sean and seems happy with him. Them having problems in their first few years in their marriage is a norm, just because a couple fight doesn't mean they should throw the towel. I think both of them came with baggage that they hid and now being in a place has made them decipher it more. Just because you come from a normal family doesn't mean you don't have baggage of your own or insecurity. Some messed up people are the ones that come from a normal family.

I based the statement you highlighted above on what Sean and Catherine have said directly to each other prior to coming on this show. The quotes are: "you're not the person I married"    "you're a lunatic"    "you're never happy"    "I don't even know you"   "you make me miserable".  

I don't recall Cat hiding her baggage. I think Bachelor viewers learned about her dad issues before and after the hometown date. 

I certainly agree that messed up people can come from normal families. Sean would be an example. JMOAA.

contrast everything that's gone down with the first day when Cat said "You're the leader, I will follow you". That could be one of the root issues of their problems - Sean expects that behavior but it's not Cat's nature to defer to him. JMHO. I do think they love each other but they are a real mismatch. Some couples can overcome, even thrive on their differences but I'm not so sure about these two.

instinct wrote:contrast everything that's gone down with the first day when Cat said "You're the leader, I will follow you".  That could be one of the root issues of their problems - Sean expects that behavior but it's not Cat's nature to defer to him.  JMHO.  I do think they love each other but they are a real mismatch.  Some couples can overcome, even thrive on their differences but I'm not so sure about these two.

I agree with this so much! Cat has been drinking the kool-aid and trying to twist herself into something she is not and will never be. Sean needs a job he can feel good about. He just looks so embarrassed with everything. There is such a look of shame on his face, which Cat, the supposedly empathetic one, seems oblivious to. When he told Elizabeth their fight was over and everything was fine, he was literally nodding his head at Cat like crazy, willing her to say, "yes, it's fine". I wish I was watching this show with Des.

FLChica- Thanks for the info on Elizabeth and Jim. Good to know. This is the only season I've watched.

FLChica wrote:With all due respect to different opinions, Elizabeth has a Master's degree in counseling psychology. Jim has 21 years experience in relationship therapy. The exercises & drills they use are actually quite effective at revealing each participant's issues. IMHO. 

 If SeanCat wanted counseling for the very real issues in their marriage, they could have worked with the Carrolls privately. MBC offices are headquartered in Plano, TX - a 20 minute drive (with traffic) from the Lowes. MBC workshops in a format similar to the tv show are offered in Dallas throughout the year with one starting February 24, another on March 30 and so on. The church they attend has many qualified Christian counselors with referrals available for many more. Facts, not my opinion.

Sean was raised in a loving, Christian home by two parents that support and enable him to do anything his little heart desires. His college degree, that was paid for by a football scholarship, is evidently collecting dust in a frame somewhere. Sean is entitled and enabled - definitely my opinion. Compare that to the "anger issue" guy Benzino who was in a gang as a teen and was shot by his own nephew while on the way to his mother's funeral. Now he has reason to be angry!

I do feel sorry for Catherine. It's probably been quite a shock to realize the man she "won" on the Bachelor isn't much like the man she sleeps next to every night. IMHO.

IMO - the part I bolded is a huge problem. Sean got part of his ego from his family who thinks that their kids sh** doesn't stink. The Lowes didn't do either of their kids any favors.

^^ really? They seem like a happy, loving and supportive family to me. In what way do you think they have enabled their kids?

grace8136 wrote:

instinct wrote:contrast everything that's gone down with the first day when Cat said "You're the leader, I will follow you".  That could be one of the root issues of their problems - Sean expects that behavior but it's not Cat's nature to defer to him.  JMHO.  I do think they love each other but they are a real mismatch.  Some couples can overcome, even thrive on their differences but I'm not so sure about these two.

I agree with this so much! Cat has been drinking the kool-aid and trying to twist herself into something she is not and will never be. Sean needs a job he can feel good about. He just looks so embarrassed with everything. There is such a look of shame on his face, which Cat, the supposedly empathetic one, seems oblivious to. When he told Elizabeth their fight was over and everything was fine, he was literally nodding his head at Cat like crazy, willing her to say, "yes, it's fine". I wish I was watching this show with Des.

FLChica- Thanks for the info on Elizabeth and Jim. Good to know. This is the only season I've watched.

That was hilarious! I couldn't stop looking at Sean's facial expressions, it was bizarre.  

Also, when Elisabeth and Jim ask what the fight was about and Sean looks at Catherine and says 'do you wanna say it?' She quipped with a bit of attitude 'no go ahead' in the funniest way, like, you do the honours golden boy .