Josh Murray - Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - #9

bluwavz wrote:I don't think #26 has a need for a "virginal" woman at all. I really just think he's emotionally younger than his age and that's why he prefers younger women. I don't think it has anything to do with any creepy desire. Besides all the women he has dated have been adults. Sorry but women in their early 20's are not children and shouldn't be infantilized.

All JMO.

I totally agree with this post. I do think his years in minor league ball has made Josh emotionally similar in age to Aaron. As for the women he dates, early 20s is legal and fine. The 27 year old he dated lied and acted like a spoiled child, so it wasn't like 5 extra years helped in that case. And it is insulting to those women to call them children or such.

stuckinsc wrote:

bluwavz wrote:I don't think #26 has a need for a "virginal" woman at all. I really just think he's emotionally younger than his age and that's why he prefers younger women. I don't think it has anything to do with any creepy desire. Besides all the women he has dated have been adults. Sorry but women in their early 20's are not children and shouldn't be infantilized.

All JMO.

I totally agree with this post. I do think his years in minor league ball has made Josh emotionally similar in age to Aaron. As for the women he dates, early 20s is legal and fine. The 27 year old he dated lied and acted like a spoiled child, so it wasn't like 5 extra years helped in that case. And it is insulting to those women to call them children or such.

Thank you for saying that Stuck! A woman 20+years is not a child, and I found it insulting too when they have been referred to as such.

Except that there's a difference between 19-20-21, which is really barely out of being a teenager, and a man in his early 30's (the Anna girl looked like she was at senior prom at the Bachelor party thing).  It isn't like we're talking 24-25-26 here.  Even if Josh is young for his age, dating college-age women is just weird.  Aaron isn't in college.

This isn't supposed to be insulting to people in the early 20's. I dated older guys (27-30) when I was 22-23 and thought I was so mature, but now in my 30's, I look back and cringe, and I definitely was not mature at all and was closer to a teenager. Yes, age difference relationships can succeed, but there's a difference between 5-6 years and 10+ years, especially when you're talking early 20's vs. early 30's.

The maturity in those 10 yrs between 20 and 30 can be startling and vary so much depending on the person. 
I met my husband when I was 21 and a jr. in college. He was 27 and working in mgmt with a large international firm. We met on a blind date. 
I remember initially inwardly cringing at his social professional functions when the other wives would ask me what I "did". The disparity in them being SAHM's or out in the professional world and me being a college student ---two different worlds.

I just feel like every time #26 and younger women are brought up, there's the implication he's some kind of predator. I just don't see it all. I don't think it has anything to do with creepiness on his part and everything to do with him being emotionally immature himself.

All JMO.

I have no idea what "age bracket" Josh goes for, cause frankly I don't follow him at all. But IMO- at some point , it's true, age is less of a factor. A 10+ year age difference is less a big deal if you are 30 dating a 40 year old. But early 20's and in college or fresh out? Well, that's closer to the maturity of a teenager, IMO. I don't personally think you cross into the "age doesn't really matter and you can relate to anyone of any age" until you are out of college, supporting yourself, standing on your own two feet, usually around your mid to late 20's for most folks. Let's just say if my daughter, at 20- 21 was seeing a man in his early 30's, well, I'd give that guy a side eye. Likewise if my son in his 30's was scouting out youngins in college, well, I wouldn't be thrilled. Of course it's legal, but there is still a huge life disconnect between someone just barely out of high school and someone 10+ years older. All my opinion, of course.

ETA: No, I don't think dating young 20-year-olds makes Josh a predator. But I think his chances of finding something lasting and serious in that age bracket is slim to nil. I feel the same about Jef, and I used to be a fan of his. The constant scouting out the young things kind of changes my opinion. These men are in their 30's. Not sure what they are hoping to get out of scouting out college campuses. Maybe they don't want anything serious and just a good time... Which I guess is their prerogative.

bluwavz wrote:I just feel like every time #26 and younger women are brought up, there's the implication he's some kind of predator. I just don't see it all. I don't think it has anything to do with creepiness on his part and everything to do with him being emotionally immature himself.

All JMO.

I felt the same way reading some posts. I'm not a Josh "fan", but I think when someone compares him to a predator, it's wrong. Yes, he dates young women, but they are of legal age women. I don't think it's because he's creepy - it's because that's his maturity level.

bluwavz wrote:I don't think #26 has a need for a "virginal" woman at all. I really just think he's emotionally younger than his age and that's why he prefers younger women. I don't think it has anything to do with any creepy desire. Besides all the women he has dated have been adults. Sorry but women in their early 20's are not children and shouldn't be infantilized.

All JMO.

...nor are they virginal for the most part IMO.

His latest fling was 20, wasn't she? That is a child compared to a 30-year-old, IMO. I don't consider it an insult, just a fact. We've all been there and hopefully grew past it. No matter how mature you are, there's just a serious lack of life experience at that age and that's perfectly normal. Of course Josh isn't a criminal or anything, but it doesn't speak very highly of his maturity level that he's drawn to girls who are barely out of their teens.

20 isn't a child though. No age gap will make it so.

^ exactly. I got married when I was 20. I was living on my own, supported myself with zero help from my parents, went to school and worked a full time job. I was hardly a child or a little girl. Again, semantics I guess. I prefer the term "young" for an early 20's person. With those other terms, it sounds criminal to me, IMO.

At 20 and a college junior, I had been working at least part time for 8 straight years, came from a family with mental health issues - so had dealt with suicide attempts and many divorces amount my siblings, had a parent and sibling already face cancer. At 20 I was light years more mature than Andi at 27 or 29. Each person's life forms them differently and age is simply a number.

I do think Josh is emotionally closer to 23-25, regardless is the women don't care and their families don't care, I don't care. 

I think the women he has dated since Andi are probably no more immature than her and probably at least more honest.

All JMO.