Josh Murray - Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - #9

Since Josh and his family are born again Christians, this IS a big deal. The knowledge of Josh's fiancée having sex with the f2 in order to keep the f2 from finding out he is the f2 only a few days before accepting a proposal of marriage from Josh would be shocking and deplorable to both Josh and his family. He might have been upset about the lie, but the real issue was that his fiancée had sex with another man just before becoming engaged to him. It showed him how far apart her values and character were from his.

Mimi27 wrote:Since Josh and his family are born again Christians, this IS a big deal. The knowledge of Josh's fiancée having sex with the f2 in order to keep the f2 from finding out he is the f2 only a few days before accepting a proposal of marriage from Josh would be shocking and deplorable to both Josh and his family. He might have been upset about the lie, but the real issue was that his fiancée had sex with another man just before becoming engaged to him. It showed him how far apart her values and character were from his.

Well. If thats the case and that's truly how #26 views the world, he had no business being a contestant on The Bachelorette to begin with. That's how the show works, and it's how it has been working for the last 15 years.  I can't believe I'm even defending Andi here, but as far as I know she is NOT a born again Christian with these views, so she doesn't have to live life to those ideals. Josh can either love her and move on ala Shawn/Chris/Lauren... Or, there is the door. To have it both ways, take the relationship, but degrade Andi a long the way is not cool. I agree, he CAN be upset and angry about the lie. But according to Andi, he also kind of cornered her into it. He was on The Bachelorette for God's sake. How could he be upset about her exploring relationships with others?

How did he cornered her into it?

Mimi27 wrote:Since Josh and his family are born again Christians, this IS a big deal. The knowledge of Josh's fiancée having sex with the f2 in order to keep the f2 from finding out he is the f2 only a few days before accepting a proposal of marriage from Josh would be shocking and deplorable to both Josh and his family. He might have been upset about the lie, but the real issue was that his fiancée had sex with another man just before becoming engaged to him. It showed him how far apart her values and character were from his.

Why did he sign up to be on the show? He knows the lead dates multiple people and possibly gets intimate with them. Josh had the right to know, but he had no right to be upset about the actual sex, and it's none of his family's business. Do the demand a score card from all of his girl friends, listing with whom and when they last had sex?

For some contestants that is true. For others it is not. Certainly, TPTB put pressure on the Bach or 'ette to have sex with all on fantasy dates, but there have been some who did not. As an example, Sean did not. Ali did not. Des did not. The producers can't force this. They still have a right to choose. If Josh had become bachelor, he wouldn't have either. JMOAA

As much as he talked about sex while they were engaged, talking about practicing making babies, make up sex, etc., I'm not sure he has a problem with sex before marriage, no matter how much faith or how religious he and his family are.  I tend to think it has more to do with his wounded pride that she slept with more than just him during filming, that it was with his rival, that she lied to him about it.  Regaining trust in a relationship is hard, even when it's normal and not a stand off between two hot heads.  So I'm sure for these two, the issue just kept coming up and pushing them further apart.  I'm sure they both said and did things that they shouldn't have and IMO should've ended it long before they finally did.  JMO.

Mimi27 wrote:For some contestants that is true. For others it is not. Certainly, TPTB put pressure on the Bach or 'ette to have sex with all on fantasy dates, but there have been some who did not. As an example, Sean did not. Ali did not. Des did not. The producers can't force this. They still have a right to choose. If Josh had become bachelor, he wouldn't have either. JMOAA

Ali did.
As far as what the Murray family endorses or not, there is a blip out there with a corresponding photo showing the brother in the midst of an adventure with other people in the same room. So I doubt chastity is something practiced.

If the sex is a big deal, don't say you love the woman unconditionally when there is a big condition. Just peace out, homie. Please.

What we don't know is what Andi was saying to Josh all along during filming, IMO if she was leading him to believe that he was the only one and telling him similar while they were off camera and then slept with Nick then he has every right to be mad. I maybe naive but if during the process I felt like i had met "the one" I wouldn't be opening my legs for the other one, Andi wanted her cake and wanted to eat it too.

I think most people Josh included would like to think that the night before you proposed your soon to be wife isn't shacking up with another guy, tv show or not.

Since this is Josh's thread, I'll just say she has to lead everyone on to a certain extent.  And while I think it's icky to sleep with multiples during the FS, they're all grown consenting adults.  I can't believe I'm somewhat defending her here.  Until he received the final rose, he was going to manipulated by her, CH, production, handlers and anyone associated with the show, to keep him there and thinking he was the final one.  It happens every season.

Kait slept with Nick and told him she loved him, but ended up with Shawn and their still together.  Josh willing signed a contract and knew what the show was about.  I don't care what was said during filming, he willingly put him self in that position.  Now after he got the final rose and filming was over, what they both said and did is a whole different story.  

They both need to grow up and learn to keep their mouths shut (no more stupid passive aggressive subtweeting, reality tv appearance or icky tell alls, etc.) JMOAA.

Kashathediva wrote:

Mimi27 wrote:For some contestants that is true. For others it is not. Certainly, TPTB put pressure on the Bach or 'ette to have sex with all on fantasy dates, but there have been some who did not. As an example, Sean did not. Ali did not. Des did not. The producers can't force this. They still have a right to choose. If Josh had become bachelor, he wouldn't have either. JMOAA

Ali did.
As far as what the Murray family endorses or not, there is a blip out there with a corresponding photo showing the brother in the midst of an adventure with other people in the same room. So I doubt chastity is something practiced.

Ali did not. According to her interview of Feb. 6, 2013, with adrinkwith.com Ali plainly stated that she slept with Roberto. Chris was a friend and Frank left.

As for Josh, it's one thing to be intimate in a relationship. It's another thing to have sex with a guy in order to trick him. Big difference.

I really assume the lead sleeps with at least 2 of the final 3 (not always) but I believe that happens most of the time.  IF Josh really had an issue with sex he should have waited until after the FRC to sleep with her as well. He knows how the show works.

I do not like Andi but I really don't think sex was the real root cause of his anger but the lying was.  He is too open to sex and talks about it too much for that to be the real issue.

Also minor point but the FDs occur about a week prior to the FRC not the day prior, those are the LCDs and even they are a couple days prior to the FRC.

I have always classified prior to the FRC as the time before you get serious and might be dating/sleeping with more than one person (not cheating at that point, they know others are still involved), Post FRC as being in a serious relationship with one person, and the finally really engaged once/if they start really wedding planning.

ALL IMHO