The Bachelorette Australia - Sam Frost - Season 1 - General Discussion - Social Media - Media - #3 *Spoilers - Sleuthing*

Well, it's interesting. On today's live show, there was no mention of Sasha, but he did come up in the intro of their podcast. It all seemed upbeat, so perhaps I rang the alarm bells too soon.

Sam had a lot of energy today, not someone who seemed down because of relationship issues. In the intro, Rove and Sam read a fan letter stating that he was enjoying Sasha's segments. Also Rove brought up that this would be Sam's first Valentine's Day with Sasha. Definitely NOT something to be brought up if the relationship is going south (or would the expression be going north if you live down under?   ) Anyway, Rove asked if Sam ever celebrated Valentine's Day with a boyfriend. It didn't really get answered as Rove jumped in saying they would have to make this year's part of the show.

Soooo, either she's really being strong and brave (and/or she's not allowed by contract to speak in breakup terms)...or I jumped the gun and made a mountain out of a molehill. Also I was able to get screen captures showing Sam wearing Sasha's commitment ring and necklace from today's Rove and Sam postings.

I'll see myself to the sleuthing timeout corner.

In all seriousness, I think there was something going on because of the unfollows/follows, etc, etc...but the problem seems to have worked itself out...for now, at least...even though Sam still hasn't refollowed Sasha.

Well, whatever it is/was, it sounds like they're getting back on track. I'm glad!

I'm glad you shared Litta!  I don't think you jumped the gun either. They may stay together they may not. I know that when one is invested it can feel stressful too for the fans. I would feel the same way if this happened with Art and Matty.

Speaking of which, I'll just say that I don't get the same vibe from this relationship (and never have) as I do Tim&Jenna and Art&Matilda. That being said, that doesn't mean they won't last or anything. Many couples do even with rough patches and whatnot.

100% agree, AAL. These two have never given me the T&J/A&M vibe. Although I like Sam & Sasha, I definitely won't cry if they break up. I've seen too many red flags to go all in with them.

I always get nervous when someone declares their partner as the love of their life after knowing them a few brief weeks or even a couple of months (as Sam has done). They're still getting to know who each other is. It's too soon for me, regardless of how romantic it seems. What happens if you do break up? Will your next partner feel like second choice? If you realize the declaration was premature, how can your next partner fully trust your feelings won't change on him if he's the next love of your life?

It takes a lot of wisdom and patience to give your relationship time to grow into that "forever kind of love" as Jenna called it. And, it certainly doesn't help to have a constant spotlight on it from the public and media.

Here's to wishing the best for Sam and Sasha!

I got nervous the minute I heard Sasha talk about how he only came on the show for Sam and yet said he didn't know anything about her (which are two contradictory things) and then said he had a meltdown and thought about quitting when things got tough (when really, compared to any other Bette lead, Sam was 99% more interested in Sash then these other guys so not sure how tough his conditions were) and then came back to have a date that was all about him. Yes he came back but that Sasha's first reaction was wanting to quit when things got tough makes me think this may be part of his relationship mo (maybe why he broke up with his ex-fiancee, who knows).

Even in Sasha's bio he said he is used to thriving in competitive situations and winning and was definitely the alpha of the house so to me him wanting to leave and so soon made no sense to me. It came across like he just didn't like sharing Sam at all. It is what makes me wonder if Sam has had him on the show and even her work trip to placate him.

Sasha unfollowing and refollowing Sam on IG is definitely a red flag to me. When I saw that and screenshot it (just as you did) my immediate thought was "Oh boy, here we go" because it just felt like what he did by tweeting that article about him wanting to quit which has never settled well with me that he would want to bring that up - certainly not months later and if one loves someone why put it out in the media that you wanted to quit? I found that disrespectful.

I don't know but I just have always got the sense that Sam has had to work to make Sasha feel special (just like his 2nd date was all about making HIM feel special) and like she said on the show her concern was she didn't feel like she was enough for him (no surprise really considering he wanted to leave - Sam's worst fear).

I just feel, considering Sam's history with relationships that she needs someone more stable and secure than that... Sure Sash was all hot and into Sam on the show but on the flip side he was wanting to leave too so to me that is two extremes and wouldn't be surprised if that is how he is in relationships - hot and cold, passive-aggressive (I wonder what happened with his ex-fiancee and if this was part of the problem there).

I didn't and now again don't see Sash as super stable and secure from the getgo until now so hopefully it gets sorted or Sam moves on. I just couldn't be in a relationship with a guy who plays roller-coaster with emotions.

Thank you Litta for the update. It does sound like things might be on the mend especially with the mention of Valentines Day and making theirs part of the show?

I got nervous the minute I heard Sasha talk about how he only came on the show for Sam and yet said he didn't know anything about her (which are two contradictory things) and then said he had a meltdown and thought about quitting when things got tough (when really, compared to any other Bette lead, Sam was 99% more interested in Sash then these other guys so not sure how tough his conditions were) and then came back to have a date that was all about him."

To be honest, I don't blame him. Both he and Sam said that when he was struggling he approached her to discuss it but she didn't respond. Sam said she did that because she was very upset about the situation and didn't know what to do say to him. They didn't show that conversation on the show. Even though watching the show you could tell she had a strong connection with him he didn't know what her connections were with the other guys. The guys were discussing their dates with her including any kissing so you can't blame the guy for feeling a little lost. The show's edited so what he was experiencing and a viewers POV would have been different. He obviously has strong feelings for her or he wouldn't have had the meltdown.  Plus he drew the number 4 picture which was sentimental. The date with his favourite things I think was her way of apologising.

When she said that she didn't think she was enough for him I took it as meaning that he was established with a career, investment properties etc and she didn't have that.

last wrote:
The date with his favourite things I think was her way of apologising.

That's the thing... what did she need to apologize for? She's the Bette. She didn't need to apologize for anything - and certainly not to someone who wanted to quit and walk out on her. And she was not allowed to respond - none of the leads are allowed to - it's their job to not do so.

I've watched this show since it first was made and the US Bette for 11 seasons and I just don't and never will buy that these guys are just feeling soooo much that it makes them want to walk out (that's just putting themselves first, imo). The only other guy I know (currently with lead) that wanted to do that and let it be known (other than Ed/Jillian) was Shawn with Kaitlyn and I happen to think that Sasha was very, very lucky his meltdown or whatever wasn't shown on TV. He was being protected and his 2nd date by Sam was all about making HIM feel good. It was like he was the Bachelor. Now does this make him a bad guy? No. But it doesn't make him someone like Des' Chris and Chris put up with much much more than Sasha ever did.

Regardless of Sasha wanting to quit and come back that is not what gave me a red flag as much as it was him talking to the media about it months and months after the fact. It was completely unnecessary for him to bring the past back into the present and remind readers that hey "I was going to leave and quit but then I didn't so yay for me". It came across to me disrespectful for him to not only talk to the media about him wanting to quit but to tweet about it. That's not a healthy thing to do, IMO, neither is  unfollowing/refollowing on IG, imo.

Litta I'm glad you shared your worries because it's so much harder to worry alone and it feels better to get the perspective from others that also care about the couple as much as you do and who else would that be if not on this board. I felt exactly the same way that I believe you did when wondering whether to share or not my concerns about Nick perhaps partying excessively in LA due to my own perceptions of his SM. Once I finally shared, despite some members having similar concerns, I still felt guilty because this is after all, the World Wide Web. 

I do not follow Sam and Sasha's story except on here and while I wasn't necessarily concerned, I have felt uneasy about them lasting. Did Sasha attend his friend's wedding or bachelor party or something like that while he was away from filming during his "melt down", or am I confusing him with someone else? If so, this could've been the real reason he needed to leave. 

AAL, I also see Sasha as insecure and passive-aggressive and can relate 100% to Sam as my ex was exactly the same way that Sasha is coming across to me. I had to constantly placate him and then he would feel happy and secure but that made me unhappy because it felt like I was always walking on egg shells and "losing myself" so I would default back to who I was again making me happy but of course making him unhappy again.

If what I feel is going on between these two is actually happening, I hope they end it sooner than later because it is a toxic situation to be in and ultimately there can only be one happy person at any given time and I hate to see many years of struggle like I went through.

Litta, I don't think you jumped the gun at all. Clearly to me something was going on. I hope all is good now, but whatever it was, was enough to follow/unfollow on SM, that always tells a story. If there are challenges between them, hopefully they can work it out if it's meant to be for them.

Thanks for sharing keeping us informed, and recapping it all for us!

Yes, @rhondam, I believe Sasha did leave for his friend's wedding...and, ha, exactly because it's the www!

Truthfully, guys, I think there is unhealthy behavior on both sides of the relationship. I'm reluctant to put this all on Sasha. Sam has shared on the show about the arguments she starts with Sasha...and has described herself as a little brat. I've wondered, at times, if she is replaying the relationship she had initially with her stepfather, trying to push him away (recalling what she shared from their tango date). That said, I really hate taking on the role of the armchair psychotherapist, so I could be way off base. It simply has crossed my mind as I've listened to the stories Sam has shared on the radio.

It never bothered me that Sasha went to LA with her as it was reported from the get go that they wanted to go on holiday* together at Christmas. I think the need to get a jump on the competition for their radio show "forced" Sam into a work trip. To me it just seemed like a natural compromise. Rove and Sasha seem to have a great relationship. I don't think it's Sasha inserting himself into Sam's life. My personal feeling is that's part of how Rove builds his relationship with Sam to create on air chemistry. Rove seems to be happily married to his wife...and frankly, it's great protection for him to keep Sasha in the picture...no unnecessary rumors about him and Sam. Rove's wife went on the trip as well...just wasn't in the pics. S&S stayed at Rove's LA house.

In the grand scheme of things, I hope S&S figure it out sooner rather than later whether they can be successful as a couple. I'll keep listening to Rove and Sam, regardless, as it's working for my exercise routine. And that's all that matters, right?    Currently American politics is driving me crazy and I can only listen to so much music without getting bored. The show is a nice blend of talk and music.

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*source: Sam Frost & Sasha Mielczarek Continue to Intrigue

What's next for the couple (who don't have a timeline but say marriage and kids are "definitely" on the cards)? "Ah, hopefully buy a house and go on a holiday. And buy a puppy!" says Frost, while Sasha adds, "Hopefully for New Years' we'll be overseas celebrating together."

rhondam wrote:

I do not follow Sam and Sasha's story except on here and while I wasn't necessarily concerned, I have felt uneasy about them lasting. Did Sasha attend his friend's wedding or bachelor party or something like that while he was away from filming during his "melt down", or am I confusing him with someone else? If so, this could've been the real reason he needed to leave. 

AAL, I also see Sasha as insecure and passive-aggressive and can relate 100% to Sam as my ex was exactly the same way that Sasha is coming across to me. I had to constantly placate him and then he would feel happy and secure but that made me unhappy because it felt like I was always walking on egg shells and "losing myself" so I would default back to who I was again making me happy but of course making him unhappy again.

If what I feel is going on between these two is actually happening, I hope they end it sooner than later because it is a toxic situation to be in and ultimately there can only be one happy person at any given time and I hate to see many years of struggle like I went through.

I don't think it really matters why Sash left but that he said he wanted to leave and that he himself said on numerous occasions post-show that he had a meltdown. Heck even on his first appearance post-show it was mentioned again. Again, that doesn't bother me as much but what does bother me is why would a guy bring that up 5 months after filming ended and tweet an article that talks about it? That's bringing the past back to the present and does zero to create a healthy dynamic. To me I found it unnecessary and at worst, emotionally manipulative. Sash now unfollowing/refollowing seems to indicate a pattern of behavior with him.

I've followed Sam since 2014 and I don't think Sam is exempt at all but I just never got the vibe that Sasha was a calming force in her life. Most passionate relationships are hot-cold-hot-cold etc. I posted many times my thoughts on Sash and Sam and the type of guy I thought she needed (keyword: need) and that is someone like her BIL, James, who is exactly like Richie and much more a beta than alpha (in the typical sense of the words). Not that I think she should have chosen Richie at all - I don't, but Sam has a proven track record of choosing the wrong guys for her so if Sasha works out it will be a first for her.

I also agree about Sam losing herself. I posted that exact same thing. I find that the healthiest relationships are ones where each person's baseline personality (meaning who they are day to day) is something that is nurtured and neither party has to try to be something they're not. I hope also that if this is not it for Sam that she ends it and doesn't put herself through having to 'work' that hard to placate. Because I have and do sense that too. And I speak from Sam's perspective because 1) Sam was the Bette and F1 and 2) because I know more about her than I do Sash having followed her since she was a contestant on S2. Back then I hoped she would find someone who she could be an equal partner with and not need to be led or someone she would have to placate. I still hope that for her.

Not surprisingly but looks like Sam spoke about her fertility issues. I know she's talked about it in the past on several occasion so I'm sure there's a lot of pain that comes with that.

Not to split hairs, as I've seen articles where Sam speaks of these fertility fears, but I heard the segment. Sam wasn't talking about "her" fertility issues. She spoke about going to lunch with a few girlfriends yesterday. One of them has been married for 3 years and is regularly being asked about when she and her husband are having kids. What the ask-ers don't know is that this woman has been having fertility issues. Sam's point was that it's rude and inappropriate to ask anyone those questions. That's really what the segment was about -- rude, none of your business questions -- because there are so many reasons that could be going on and how hurtful these questions could be.