Re: Heather Maltman - Bachelor Australia - Season 3 - Fan Forum - Thread #2

[happygolucky]

Man! I fell asleep earlier than usual, missed all the radio-interviews, saw that the links for the episode are posted (thank you guys!), I wake up at 4 am ... well, I can't sleep now, because my neighbours upstairs are making noise ... so great, going to watch the epi. and catch up with the media.

Good to see you all in a better spirit ... it's a brand new day ... and Heather is fine.

[AEF]

Great post AAL. I don't know what Sam is like irl but I really think that Sam was so caught up in his bubble world, it was all about him and he was clueless/didn't want to think about it as to how Heather felt about him. I do think she told him she had deep feelings on her last SD. I think over the past few weeks he knew he was not going to get what he needed from her and he dragged along, reassured for his own reasons, because she was a friend and offered support. I think that is why Heather says it's not ok. 


By exposing Heather so much in the media we have fallen all in love with Heather even more deeply than we would. The producers did this for their own ratings reasons but Heather must have been happy to do it. In her interviews today she was so intelligent and graceful. I feel terrible about all those pap shots and criticisms of what she was wearing as she has been going through all this heartbreak. I hope if she wants to be left alone now that it happens.

[happygolucky]

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All the radio-interviews will be added in the post on the 1st page here.

[AllAboutLove]

Great post AAL. I don't know what Sam is like irl but I really think that Sam was so caught up in his bubble world, it was all about him and he was clueless/didn't want to think about it as to how Heather felt about him. I do think she told him she had deep feelings on her last SD. I think over the past few weeks he knew he was not going to get what he needed from her and he dragged along, reassured for his own reasons, because she was a friend and offered support. I think that is why Heather says it's not ok. 

Yeah, I see it the same way. I think it is really easy to get wrapped up in the bubble and Heather certainly put a damper on the bubble effect by bringing up reminders of painful memories/realities (Snez, imo, is a positive reality for a guy if he wants to be a dad).

I do feel that Sam also taking a break from filming to walk the red carpet at the Logies probably only enhanced the bubble effect of everything revolving around him and his choices. I don't get the feeling Sam ever grew up having tons of women vying for his affection. And like Sam said and Osher talked about in Periscope, Sam said that his past relationships failed because he was selfish. Osher said he was proud of Sam for realizing this about himself and hopes he can grow from that.

To me, I think a lot of what Sam did on his journey on the show was selfish -- some of it is good selfishness, b/c it is his journey, but some of it is unnecessary selfishness... (he certainly could have handled that RC better at letting Heather go) and also how Sam has been in the media post-show enjoying the attention and purposefully misdirecting by seeming all giddy about different girls and excited about his mates watching the show. Seems like he is a good actor. Sam is 35. I don't see him wanting to change his ways completely or for any relationship. I am still wondering if there will be an ATFR and if not, to me that is telling.

[happygolucky]

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Heather Opens Up About Her Bachelor Heartbreak: "I Honestly Don't Know What Happened"

Fan favourite Heather Maltman was eliminated in a heartbreaking episode of The Bachelor on Thursday night, leaving just three women standing in the race for Sam Wood's heart. Heather's heartbreak came through our TV screens like a sledgehammer. She held back her tears, only just. She asked Sam, "Why?" She held her head high. But, wow, it was hard to watch.

For the last seven weeks we've come to know Heather as so many things. The cool girl. The superhero geek. The beautiful temptress. The one everyone really, really likes (seriously, we interviewed all the bachelorettes and they love her). The vulnerable woman with her heart on her sleeve. And then, last night, the one Sam couldn't foresee a romantic future with. We've gotten to know Heather in a different way — interviewing her a couple of times through the season — and to us, she's the girl who gives you the most time. The strong, funny one (with ace acting skills). The one who refuses to say a bad word . . . even though her heart has been broken (her words, not ours). She's tops — read on for her take on the entire experience.

POPSUGAR Australia: We’re so sad to see you go! Warwick told you at the end of the date with Sam that he wasn’t sure how he felt about you. What happened there?

Heather: Well, first of all . . . I guess, going home to meet families and stuff was a pretty big deal for me because there isn’t really a family there for him to meet. I’ve got an older sister but our childhood growing up was just so full on and it was just a bit too hard for that part of it. Warwick is this incredible man who I met when I was 11 or 12 years old, who basically taught me how to have a voice and how to stand up and ask for what I want. I’ve always had problems doing that, it’s always been one of my biggest struggles — letting people know who I am and what I want and what I need and how I feel. He was the start of me learning how to do that. When he met Sam, I knew that Warwick would be the best possible person in my life to meet him because there’s no bias with Warwick. He’s not interested in looking at someone and saying, "Are you good enough, are you not good enough?" He wants every individual person he comes across, every single person who walks into Avalon — that’s the name of his farm — to be the best possible version of themselves. When he said the things about Sam and how things would work, that was his way of letting me know, I guess, what he thought Sam still needed to work on and the things that were happening for him to be the best possible version of himself. And whether I would be the best person to help him with that, or if he maybe needed to do that on his own, or if one of the other girls would. That was one of the most beautiful things about my relationship with him. He would never give me advice on what I should or shouldn’t do — instead he’s kind of always been my moral compass in terms of, "Which direction do I wanna go in? I wanna go that way, these are the things you need to think about." That’s why I just love that man so much.

PS: He seems like an amazing person.

Heather: He’s like a farming Yoda [laughs].

PS: How did you meet him? You were so young!

Heather: I grew up in a little town called Eagleby [Queensland] and back when I grew up there it was a lower-income, housing commission area and I called it my ghetto. I love my ghetto, I’m very proud of where I grew up. I moved a lot but I spent a lot of my life in Eagleby and also Beenleigh and I was getting bullied quite badly in primary school and in the first few years of high school and I found this farm. Suddenly this horse farm showed up down the road from us, which was so random. I walked past there and I didn’t really talk to anyone, I didn’t have any friends . . . My outlet was my riding and my acting and directing. I said to my mum one day, "I want to go and work on the horse farm," and she said, "OK, I’ll take you down there." She said to Warwick, "My daughter wants to work on your farm," and he said, "That’s fine, but she has to ask herself," and she was like, "Well, she’s a bit shy . . ." and he was like, "No, she wants to work here, she has to ask for it herself." He was six-foot God-knows-what, and I think he was 28 at the time . . . Obviously he’s a strapping man and very beautiful.

PS: He was so young himself.

Heather: So young, yeah! A very young man. And he had just extremely high expectations of himself and the people around him and he said, "If you want to work here, you’ve gotta earn it." He helped me, obviously and he was always there for me but in no way did he give me a handout, in no way was he making sure that I went to school every day. Instead, he would just question me and the choices I was making in life and, yeah, that’s kind of how we came to meet and he’s been in my life ever since. Every now and then he wanders in and out and we always stay in touch. He’s got the most amazing family, I adore him.

PS: I’m so glad you’ve got someone like him — I was a bit worried in Wednesday’s episode that you weren’t going to have anyone ...

Heather: I know, I know! It was a very difficult decision to make.

PS: Taking Sam there — did Warwick read him pretty well, do you think?

Heather: Yeah, definitely. I think it was . . . I don’t know if Sam was as prepared for it as maybe he thought he was [laughs]. I was exactly the same when I met Warwick, I was 11 years old and he would just turn around and speak to me like an adult. I think he’s part of the reason why I was able to turn my life around and work to get everything that I have in my life today. He basically did the same thing to Sam, even though Sam’s clearly a grown man who’s worked his butt off to have everything that he has in life. Warwick just turned around and went, "Why, why, why?" and got to the absolute deepest parts of him, which is quite confronting. It’s a scary thing to have someone do. Especially on national TV! [Laughs]

PS: On Sam — you guys had an amazing connection from the get-go. Somewhere along the line it fell into a friendship. Did you feel that way, or do you know when he started to feel that way?

Heather: To be honest, I’ve been asked this a couple of times and I honestly am not sure what happened. It’s probably something that you have to talk to Sam about. There probably was a point when he remembers the change but the truth is, I just remember trying to be really in the moment with him and bounce off his energy. I always felt like we were really close, I felt like he understood where I was at and why I was the way I was during the show. I wasn’t comfortable being super touchy-feely on camera — I didn’t want to do that. I was very aware of the fact that young girls would be watching, I was very aware of the fact that, you know, it’s one thing to have PDAs when you’re out at a restaurant but it’s quite another to do that in front of all of Australia. I work in the industry and it was a very . . . That was the most challenging part of being in the show. To me, having an intense friendship that had an insanely strong bond and really strong connection, to me that’s an everlasting relationship. To me, that’s the person I look at and go, "Not only do I want to be with you forever but I want to touch all of your areas and I want to be the only one touching those areas." [Laughs] I guess that’s where him and I differ and maybe part of the reason why it didn’t work, why he saw it as friendship. And that’s cool. I don’t see it as being friend-zoned. I see it as, you know, he has the ideal person that he wants to be with and I have the ideal person that I want to be with, and that’s just not each other.

PS: Did you have genuine feelings for him from the start or did it hit you somewhere in the middle of filming?

Heather: No, I was very sure about him the minute I met him. I was like, "Oh, crap." [Laughs]. I literally met him and went, "No! I know I’m going to like you! I already like you."

PS: What was it about him that you liked so much?

Heather: See, I don’t know . . . I hear girls talk about their type, or not having a type or whatever, and I started to realise that with myself, I’ve dated guys from ridiculously attractive all the way through to "What happened there?" [Laughs] For me, it’s all about a feeling. I just go off how they feel. Do they make me feel like the best thing since sliced bread, or do they make me feel like they just picked up a beer that’s almost finished? I want to be with a guy that makes me feel like I’m the best thing since sliced bread. At no point did Sam make me feel as if he didn’t really care if I was there or not. He always made me feel like I was really special and really important and he always made me feel like he cared and I mattered. That said more to me than anything else throughout the entire series.

PS: I remember when you guys were at the barn dance group date and he told you not to apologise for existing.

Heather: Yeah. He actually had said something even more intense to me, but I’ll keep that one just between him and me. It was a pretty beautiful thing that he said, and that’s actually what made me say, "That’s one of the most beautiful things anyone has ever said to me." It was a very . . . such a personal thing to say, and that’s why I just look at this man and go, it’s OK that we didn’t work out as a couple because I just think he’s a beautiful person and I just hope that he gets to stay in my life, to some degree. At some point.

PS: Are you guys friends now?

Heather: We’re not talking at the moment, which I think is actually for the best. I’d probably be uncomfortable if we were talking while the show was actually airing because it’d be a little bit inappropriate. He has picked someone else and they’re creating a foundation and I think that’s really important. I would hope that in the future or when the show ends or, now that the secret’s out — I got dumped! — that he would be more inclined to be like, "Yeah, let’s be bros and hang out and drink all of the beer." Hopefully that’s a possibility, but if not, that’s cool.

PS: Do you think you can be friends with him if you have feelings for him?

Heather: Well, that’s the thing. There was a really good period there between show ending and before it went to air, where I could process the hurt and process the romantic feelings. What’s done is done and I’ve kind of let that go now. Now it’s more about watching it back and just being sad that it wasn’t more. I don’t really feel anything romantic towards him anymore, I’ve had my time process that.

PS: How have you found doing interviews and having to speak about him so nicely — what’s it like talking about someone you got hurt by?

Heather: Um . . . It’s so conflicting because here’s the thing: I still care about him a great deal. And he still matters to me. I think that’s why I was able to talk about him so warmly in all of my interviews so far, because I do care about him and I just want him to find someone that he really falls in love with. The hardest part, though, is that I’ve had to talk that way about someone who also broke my heart. That’s been really hard. And the fact that, uh, it’s kind of just been a thing that everyone thought we ended up together. That’s been pretty tough. But like I said, the only reason it’s tough is because it just makes me sad, it’s not because he hurt me or because he did something wrong or because I have feelings for him . . . it just makes me sad that that story wasn’t for me, it’s meant for someone else. My story is obviously meant to be what it is.

PS: There’s going to be someone else for you. It’s just that sadness of what could have been, I guess?

Heather: Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

PS: Were you surprised when you didn’t get a rose?

Heather: Um. I don’t know if it was surprise, it was more just . . . My biggest fear was actually that I would do home visits and he would send me home because it was too scary for him.

PS: Do you mean in the sense that there was too much baggage?

Heather: Yeah, just all of the things! There are all of the things there [laughs] from my home visit. There was so much there to process and I just was terrified that it would be too much for him to process. That’s been an issue in the past with some guys that I’ve liked, but that’s my stuff. That’s not his stuff. It’s for me to work through and, in actual fact, it was one of the biggest gifts he could give me, taking me to home visits and sending me home. I faced a massive fear that my family and my back story would be too much for a guy and instead, I’ve actually learned that if it’s too much for a guy, that’s not the person I want to be with. I’m not scared of my story anymore, I’m proud of it. I’m proud of the town I grew up in, I’m proud of the people I grew up around and I’m proud of the person I’ve become today. I’ve worked really, really hard to have the life that I have today and Sam gave me that gift, so I feel pretty lucky.

PS: It makes me really sad to know you worry about your history. You shouldn’t feel that way, especially if it’s the right guy — then it will never be an issue.

Heather: Yes, exactly. And that’s, like . . . it’s a lesson you can’t pay for in this world. It’s a lesson you can’t ask for. Taking that risk and doing the show, that was the part I was most afraid of, showing that part of myself to the world and finding comfort in that. It was a pretty incredible moment for me.

PS: Do you find it weird getting followed by paparazzi?

Heather: [Laughs] Yeah! That’s weird! I’m like, "What are you doing, guys?" I’m not into the paparazzi, that is not my bag. I do not enjoy that — and people who do enjoy that, power to them, but it’s not for me. The general public, I’m into those guys! The people who stop me in the street, the more the merrier! I’ll talk to people 'til the cows come home but, I don’t know, there’s something about the paparazzi that’s so invasive. Hanging outside my house, I’m like, "Come on, man." I apologised to one once, I was like, "I’m not doing anything today, you must be so bored. You followed me from my house to my sister’s house, over to my friend’s house over the bridge and then you followed me back to my house and I’ve done nothing, I’m so sorry." And the stories that get made up from it . . . I can honestly tell you that any article that you see when I’m [getting papped], there is no truth in that story whatsoever. 100 percent no truth. Unless they’re describing my outfit, in which case, that’s accurate! I think the only time I’ve ever been overwhelmed with people coming up to me was Father’s Day. This poor girl asked me to have a photo while I was with my sister and it was Father’s Day and I just couldn’t do it. I Just said to her, "It’s Father’s Day and I just wanna have dinner with my sister, I’m really sorry." And I could just tell that she was devastated and I felt awful but . . . That’s a really hard day for me.

PS: Were you surprised with how quickly Sam bonded with Lana?

Heather: No. Lana’s a legend. How could you not bond with her? I bonded with her. But you have no idea how you could establish a relationship with someone, and when it could happen. And I am a huge believer in love at first sight so, you know, God knows what’s going to blossom from that beautiful little moment in this crazy thing called The Bachelor.

PS: What about Snez and Sarah, what are they like?

Heather: I actually can’t believe that the two people I met at the very beginning — I’m talking day of registration — I’m walking through the hotel and the first person I walked in with was Snezana. And I took one look at her and went, "Holy crap, you are so hot!" And then I found out about her being a mother and I thought, "Oh my God, I don’t stand a chance." [Laughs] And then I saw Sarah across the room 20 minutes later and I thought, "I just want to be friends with you. I feel like you’re my spirit animal." And then we got talking and she’s so incredibly spiritual, I was like, "Damn, you’re a cool lady." I ended up sharing a room with Sarah from the beginning in the mansion through to the day I left and she was just . . . She’s just beautiful. And then when Lana came into the house she shared with us too. I just love all three of those girls equally. I loved all of the girls in the house, all of the good, all of the bad . . . They’re all very beautiful, all very special people. I just think it’s incredible that he’s got three incredibly different women at the end. I’m like, "Whaaat?"

PS: Your experience on The Bachelor. How would you sum it up?

Heather: Exactly what I was hoping for: random. I think I stayed completely true to myself. When I first started this thing I was asked by a producer, "What’s one word to describe you?" and I said, "Random." And I definitely stuck with that. I think, look, Bachelor career-highlights for Heather: probably jelly-wrestling, eating as much chocolate and all of the food I could and I think I probably said the most amount of sexual innuendos out of all the girls in the house. I’m proud of myself and walked out with my head held high [laughs].

[happygolucky]

Links:Daily Telegraph article the same article: News.au

“There’s a reason he walked away in that moment and I’ve learnt the hardest way possible that if a guy isn’t sure about you at the beginning, he isn’t sure about you,” she said.

[AllAboutLove]

That popsugar article (and others) shows me that Sam, like Osher said in periscope, communication is key and Sam wasn't communicating to her openly and honestly (and if anything giving her reassurance only communicated to Heather that she was not just a friend to Sam).

Not really interested in production this, and TPTB that, cause when just looking at it through the lens of Sam and Heather's relationship, the person being dishonest (with himself and Heather) was Sam.

I think Warwick was a good dose of reality outside of the bachelor bubble that allowed Sam to realize his own feelings, acknowledge them, and not continuing dragging on Heather when he wasn't going to choose her anyway. I see it as a really good thing. Kind of amazing since Warwick was there to aid Heather on her journey as a child and again on her journey on the Bach. Some things are meant to be.

[ElonM]

This woman is so insightful! Kudos to Warwick because he did a flipping great job.

I think she may have told us who won here:

PS: Were you surprised with how quickly Sam bonded with Lana?

Heather: No. Lana’s a legend. How could you not bond with her? I bonded with her. But you have no idea how you could establish a relationship with someone, and when it could happen. And I am a huge believer in love at first sight so, you know, God knows what’s going to blossom from that beautiful little moment in this crazy thing called The Bachelor.

[AllAboutLove]

^ I thought the same thing, Elon.

The thing is, Sam was filmed watching his SD with Lana and she was an intruder he took to F3 despite even Snez's unhappiness with this.

So for me, even after watching the episode, I think he fits with Lana more. But who knows. Heather could just be saying all these things because she bonds so well with all the girls and loves people and praises them no matter what. Sees the good in everyone.

It will also make sense to me that Lana is still so close to Heather and that Heather can still see a friendship with Sam and even Sam in interview today had a message for Heather about having a beer together in the future.

Heather really is just a beautiful soul.

[ElonM]

^ I thought the same thing, Elon.

The thing is, Sam was filmed watching his SD with Lana and she was an intruder he took to F3 despite even Snez's unhappiness with this.

So for me, even after watching the episode, I think he fits with Lana more. But who knows. Heather could just be saying all these things because she bonds so well with all the girls and loves people and praises them no matter what. Sees the good in everyone.

It will also make sense to me that Lana is still so close to Heather and that Heather can still see a friendship with Sam and even Sam in interview today had a message for Heather about having a beer together in the future.

Heather really is just a beautiful soul.

[AllAboutLove]

Heather really is the type of person, like Sam said, who makes one want to come up to her level.  
She is a person that makes you feel like you too want to be a better, more kind, more accepting person.
That even Tim (Bach Aussie S1) tweeted about her and commented how great it was to meet her, and everyone saying how much they love her really shows that she is something special.

I loved what Kyle in the Kyle and Jackie O interview said about Heather being the standout on the show.
Kyle said that Heather is the person he sees making something out of her experience on the show and the other girls just going back to boning dudes.
While I think the other girls will do more than that I get what he is saying... Heather really is a star.
And like Dan from Dan and Maz said, Heather is Australia's sweetheart.

[umpossible]

Curiously, how do you guys think this would have played out had it been in real life and not on a TV show? I just think if it was in real life and he had met Heather he would have explored that physical side with her but as it was on a show about a guy having multiple girlfriends he was able to compartementalise everything and focus on the spiritual/emotional side with Heather and the physical and sexual side with Snez and Lana.

I know time isn't a factor and "when you know you know" but when they are in the house, how much time do the girls actually spend with the bachelor? Isit only on group dates, cocktail parties and single dates?

Are most of the winners on the shows still with the bachelor/ettes? I just find it difficult to imagine these relationships working out after the show when in reality you pretty much don't spend any real alone time together (Without producers, tv crew etc) and then you have to hide the fact you're with someone until the show FINISHES airing.....that love must be pretty strong to withstand all that. Why do they even record it this way??? Why can't they air it whilst it's filming?

I just get concerned for Snez thinking that once the dust settles (bubble bursts)....Sam may just get a cold hard dose of reality....there are so many things to factor in for them to make that relationship work? (JMO that Snez is the winner).

Whilst it may have been that edit that fooled us but as I'm sure we have all been in love and experienced those moments that we witness Heather and Sam sharing. That is why we all relate to her, it's like rewatching your own romance unfold in front of you...from a third person perspective.

*clearly not over last night yet*

I actually like all 3 girls left but have lost interest in it as I really did not see any other love stories unfold?.....

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