The Bachelorette 11 - Kaitlyn Bristowe - #8 - Media - Tweets - IG - *Sleuthing - Spoilers* - Discussion

TopShelf wrote:Does anyone know why Nick hasn't had any interviews on the show about that night with Kaitlyn?  It was only her talking about it, and him saying a few nondescript things to the guys.  Why didn't they show as an interview of his feelings after the fact?  

TPTB show us what they want us to see. Maybe they did do some ITM's and left them out.

How the contestants are still friends with the producers is beyond me

There are many shades of friendship. Male friendship is different than female friendship, too. 
So no one really knows what goes on. 
Then add in the variable some of these past cast need to maintain a connection for monetary purposes (interpret this as don't bite the hand that feeds you). 
When you look at past cast who have happily walked away from the franchise, it is interesting to see who still remains friends or simply acquaintances with production. That is telling.

GuardianAngel wrote:but what happens if someone else is more popular. Or some aBC exec or whoever wants someone else. How does that make Ben feel for playing his part and getting the short end of the stick. I feel bad for the ones that get stringed a long with promises.

IMO he would feel like crap - and they wouldn't care that he does.

Kashathediva wrote:There are many shades of friendship. Male friendship is different than female friendship, too. 
So no one really knows what goes on

One past lead said something that has stuck with me for years but it bears repeating:

The producers are not your friends. They will pretend to be your friends.

^^ I have heard the same from multiple cast and/or family members. 
I think there really are few cast truly good friends with TPTB after both have moved on. 
Two ships who have passed in the night. 
One is filled pirates and snake oil salesman and the other is filled with people wanting something for nothing and who are fairly naive.

GuardianAngel wrote:

AllAboutLove wrote:

GuardianAngel wrote:How could Ben have not packed his bags and left right then and there.

He likely may have wanted to. If Ben is the next Bachelor we may have our answer. :Nod:

GuardianAngel wrote:Now that I think of it, maybe that was Ben's way of saying, "don't think I'm a fool".

IA and realize that and that sort of bugs me. They may have promised him the world if he stayed (and I think they did because I can't possibly see him staying on his own after that) but what happens if someone else is more popular. Or some aBC exec or whoever wants someone else. How does that make Ben feel for playing his part and getting the short end of the stick. I feel bad for the ones that get stringed a long with promises.

I think think this season of 2 Bachelorettes is a prime example of someone more popular (Kailtyn) vs. someone they promised possible lead to (Britt). They will likely go with the most popular but take into account what they want as well.

I think TPTB string as many of the guys along with promises of next lead, or BIP, etc. 

Maybe Ben H's ability to have his wits about him gave him more leverage for them to offer a possible lead option? So far, Ben H is a fan favorite for lead (excluding Shawn since he is F1) so this may go in his favor but TPTB certainly seem to like Ben Z too (and a friend of the producers, on CH's top 5 to watch list). 

Jared was likely given BIP for his hardships because if anyone was honest and genuine, imo, it was Jared. He told Kaitlyn he voted for Britt and was honest from the get go and sincere in his feeling for Kaitlyn and respectful of her letting Nick on the show. Very upstanding young man.

AllAboutLove wrote:

emusha wrote:I'm not saying shawn needs to behave exactly like ben - just that he could learn a thing or two from him JMHO

IA. I think a lot of the guys can learn a thing or two from Ben H in how to approach an issue and communicate respectfully.

Yes, Ben is handling this situation super well but I cannot compare him to Shawn. Shawn is in love with Kaitlyn or thinks he's in love with Kaitlyn in this scenario, Ben likes her as a potential girl to date, nothing more. Shawn is already announcing that everything in his life has led him to Kait and all sorts of "this girl is The One" talk. Of course Shawn's going to react way more intensely to anything going on with her and other men. Now maybe the question is whether it's good at all to fall so fast or to take it slowly like Ben, I don't know, but either way, in this context, Ben and Shawn are not in the same situation at all. Jmo.

GuardianAngel wrote:IA AAL - that is one thing that totally annoys me. Becca was the master at dealing with negative posts.

That's another thing. She's in Shawn's bed for 7-8 hours, where's Ben?  Ben - He said "I got up" and went to shower? I need jojo's recap which is on the previous page somewhere.

It led me to believe he woke up? Maybe I have it wrong.

It's interesting to me that Kaitlyn took Nick to HER bedroom, and she was alone with him -vs- Kaitlyn going to Shawn and Ben's room to spend time with Shawn. Why didn't she invite Shawn to her room like she did Nick????

Alanna wrote:

AllAboutLove wrote:

emusha wrote:I'm not saying shawn needs to behave exactly like ben - just that he could learn a thing or two from him JMHO

IA. I think a lot of the guys can learn a thing or two from Ben H in how to approach an issue and communicate respectfully.

Yes, Ben is handling this situation super well but I cannot compare him to Shawn. Shawn is in love with Kaitlyn or thinks he's in love with Kaitlyn in this scenario, Ben likes her as a potential girl to date, nothing more. Shawn is already announcing that everything in his life has led him to Kait and all sorts of "this girl is The One" talk. Of course Shawn's going to react way more intensely to anything going on with her and other men. Now maybe the question is whether it's good at all to fall so fast or to take it slowly like Ben, I don't know, but either way, in this context, Ben and Shawn are not in the same situation at all. Jmo.

This points out a key difference to me. Ben H is in a normal state for a man who has had one alone date and less than two or three days with the woman. Shawn is the one who is acting a little crazy and on some bizarre accelerated time line. When Marcus was ILY before even HTDs last year all agreed that he was in way too fast. But this year we are romanticizing Shawn. Is Shawn actually in love with Kaitlyn or with the feelings he is getting being secluded and not having anything else to think or focus on? I guess if you believe in love are first site, you think it is possible. I believe in lust at first site and that you can't love a person until you truly know who they are.

2observe wrote:

GuardianAngel wrote:IA AAL - that is one thing that totally annoys me. Becca was the master at dealing with negative posts.

That's another thing. She's in Shawn's bed for 7-8 hours, where's Ben?  Ben - He said "I got up" and went to shower? I need jojo's recap which is on the previous page somewhere.

It led me to believe he woke up? Maybe I have it wrong.

It's interesting to me that Kaitlyn took Nick to HER bedroom, and she was alone with him -vs- Kaitlyn going to Shawn and Ben's room to spend time with Shawn.  Why didn't she invite Shawn to her room like she did Nick????

She did  She invited him back to her room after a group date for some alone time as told to us by Joe.

Basically, I guess this whole season, Kaitlyn was just running around doing who knows what with Shawn in alleyways while tptb were going to the bathroom and getting snacks.

stuckinsc wrote:This points out a key difference to me.  Ben H is in a normal state for a man who has had one alone date and less than two or three days with the woman.  Shawn is the one who is acting a little crazy and on some bizarre accelerated time line. When Marcus was ILY before even HTDs last year all agreed that he was in way too fast.  But this year we are romanticizing Shawn.  Is Shawn actually in love with Kaitlyn or with the feelings he is getting being secluded and not having anything else to think or focus on?  I guess if you believe in love are first site, you think it is possible. I believe in lust at first site and that you can't love a person until you truly know who they are.

To me, it's different because it wasn't reciprocal last year. Otoh, it's reciprocal with Kaitlyn, she's falling in love with him too and also claimed it was love at first sight for her in the beginning.

stuckinsc wrote: Is Shawn actually in love with Kaitlyn or with the feelings he is getting being secluded and not having anything else to think or focus on?  I guess if you believe in love are first site, you think it is possible. I believe in lust at first site and that you can't love a person until you truly know who they are.

Hitting the nail on the head... I think that is what I liked about JP, he said that he thought Ashley had lost her mind when she said her husband was in the room. He certainly wasn't LAFS.

Doesn't mean Shawn didn't fall in love at first sight but that to me just plays into a lot of fantasies that Ryan Gosling will not only love you at first sight but choose you between some other girl and he will will bring his brooding self like Christian Grey and get you to fall for him by giving you his favorite t-shirt to wear. Shawn's storyline has so many cliches that if it is real it will be amazing in a Romance movie or novel. In real life it can be messier than that, imo but if it is real, good for them if they are happy and have that story to look back on.

I don't see "he is in love" as a good enough excuse for shawn to not try to be more careful about how he uses words, relays emotions, and makes demands and issues ultimatum type questions.
Actually if he truly LOVED her and I don't mean infatuated or "Want her to be mine and mine alone" etc.. he should want the very best for her in spite of his needs

what shawn can learn from ben is how to communicate what he needs to know from her to keep going in a thoughtful, considerate way -- we are yet to see the actual confrontations so i'll keep an open mind about how that goes. just from the previous confrontation he had with her he seemed to use words and have an attitude that was very different from the caring, thoughtful tone from Ben JMHO