The Bachelorette 11 - Kaitlyn Bristowe - Epi 7 Jun 29th - *Sleuthing - Spoilers*

Kashathediva wrote:Chris Manson is simply helping to level the plowing field.
 He is making it easier for K to go down on 3 vs 6. Seriously, most of us have been there and can empathize. When you aren't really interested in all 6 why not go down on 3 instead? Less messy, IMHOAA.

:shocked!:

plowing field...go down on 3 vs 6...less messy. Hoo boy. I don't know...that all sounds quite messy to me.

agentcurls wrote:This episode was "The Kaitlyn and Shawn Show."

~About Shawngate: I was very impressed with S&K's communication in her hotel room. It doesn't come as easily for men to be as cathartic as Shawn was. And Kaitlyn stepped up to the plate and dished him some humble pie. I think his respect for her when up a few notches after that (although some of that will slide down after sexgate)
~If they can be this open and honest with each other, it could bode well for them post-ATFR. K seemed frustrated with having to give Shawn reassurance and says in her blog she needs an emotionally strong man. On the surface it may seem like Shawn is weak and breaking down with the process. True, he is having trouble with it. But he is handling Kaitlyn quite well emotionally. Another man might utilize other unsavory defense mechanisms to get through this. I'm guessing I'm in the minority in thinking that Shawn's approach might make them more successful post-show. Being as vulnerable as he's been with K and the other guys on national t.v. takes guts, IMO.
~I see Kaitlyn being so terrified about Shawn's reaction to sexgate that she is starting to displace her own guilt onto Shawn and exhibit that classic defense mechanism, detachment. ...pushing him away just in case he wants to bolt after all is said and done.
~I'm still seeing something very organic with these two. It's like watching two hummingbirds dance. Nothing is forced. The way they speak and touch is as if they've been together much longer than they've been.

~No open-mouthed kisses with friendzoned Jared.

~Cupcake date...I don't know what was more of a hot mess...Kaitlyn herself or Kaitlyn's ponytail? I think the breathtaking scenery put a big 'ole lump in her throat...she just seemed so frustrated...that she couldn't be sharing this magical place with the man she was falling in love with. That's my take on it.

Honestly I'm not stalking you but I was just about to send my TV out for repair after reading all the posts on this forum about how Shawn is controlling and abusive and disruptively jealous and my TV was simply not showing me that and I thought there was something wrong with it - and then I read this post and realized there's nothing wrong with my TV - someone else sees what I see as well - and you've saved me a repair bill.

I see two people who are pretty equally yoked - each is equally crazy in love with the other, they are stuck in a cage with only one way out and they are struggling to find it without leaving the other behind. They are dealing with very heady issues - infidelity (technically not but it feels like it to Shawn) - trust - honesty - these are issues that can and often do tear marriages asunder and these two are on a TV dating show and yet they are still fighting to find that way out. I just get the sense that neither is going to leave without the other - no matter how hard the process is or becomes.

IMO ultimately that will be how sexgate resolves - Shawn will be hurt and perhaps want to leave to stop the hurt until he realizes - leaving Kaitlyn behind will hurt even more and he will stay.

I haven't even watched Monday's episode yet. After reading this thread I am exhausted by all of the nonsense, and I'm not sure if I should bother watching it. It sounds like it was ridiculously frustrating to view.

What do you all think? Should I watch or should I skip?

Skip it. The drama dragged and was boring. IMO. I was surprised I did not drink drano in the first hour.

MiaHawk wrote:I haven't even watched Monday's episode yet. After reading this thread I am exhausted by all of the nonsense, and I'm not sure if I should bother watching it. It sounds like it was ridiculously frustrating to view.  

What do you all think? Should I watch or should I skip?

Watch it. Put yourself through the misery with us. J/k.

Seriously though, who knows... it may or may not be enjoyable nonsense. Some like this season some don't.

I personally am bored with it as I do find that it is the Shawn, Kaitlyn, and Nick show and because we had this happen last year (even without the sex/drama/man-tears/man-meltdowns) it feels a bit like rehashed exhausting nonsense, imo.

MiaHawk wrote:I haven't even watched Monday's episode yet. After reading this thread I am exhausted by all of the nonsense, and I'm not sure if I should bother watching it. It sounds like it was ridiculously frustrating to view.  

What do you all think? Should I watch or should I skip?

Skip it, girl! I did. I just feel yucky whenever I watch an episode of this season. No more for me.

Ratings for June 29, 2015: link

On ABC, The Bachelorette scored a 1.9, down a tenth from last week's 2.0 adults 18-49 rating

With as much as this episode was hyped, it's a bit surprising. The show had no competition last Monday, so can't be blamed on that.

Lucas15 wrote:

agentcurls wrote:This episode was "The Kaitlyn and Shawn Show."

~About Shawngate: I was very impressed with S&K's communication in her hotel room. It doesn't come as easily for men to be as cathartic as Shawn was. And Kaitlyn stepped up to the plate and dished him some humble pie. I think his respect for her when up a few notches after that (although some of that will slide down after sexgate)
~If they can be this open and honest with each other, it could bode well for them post-ATFR. K seemed frustrated with having to give Shawn reassurance and says in her blog she needs an emotionally strong man. On the surface it may seem like Shawn is weak and breaking down with the process. True, he is having trouble with it. But he is handling Kaitlyn quite well emotionally. Another man might utilize other unsavory defense mechanisms to get through this. I'm guessing I'm in the minority in thinking that Shawn's approach might make them more successful post-show. Being as vulnerable as he's been with K and the other guys on national t.v. takes guts, IMO.
~I see Kaitlyn being so terrified about Shawn's reaction to sexgate that she is starting to displace her own guilt onto Shawn and exhibit that classic defense mechanism, detachment. ...pushing him away just in case he wants to bolt after all is said and done.
~I'm still seeing something very organic with these two. It's like watching two hummingbirds dance. Nothing is forced. The way they speak and touch is as if they've been together much longer than they've been.

~No open-mouthed kisses with friendzoned Jared.

~Cupcake date...I don't know what was more of a hot mess...Kaitlyn herself or Kaitlyn's ponytail? I think the breathtaking scenery put a big 'ole lump in her throat...she just seemed so frustrated...that she couldn't be sharing this magical place with the man she was falling in love with. That's my take on it.

Honestly I'm not stalking you but I was just about to send my TV out for repair after reading all the posts on this forum about how Shawn is controlling and abusive and disruptively jealous and my TV was simply not showing me that and I thought there was something wrong with it - and then I read this post and realized there's nothing wrong with my TV - someone else sees what I see as well - and you've saved me a repair bill.

I see two people who are pretty equally yoked - each is equally crazy in love with the other, they are stuck in a cage with only one way out and they are struggling to find it without leaving the other behind. They are dealing with very heady issues - infidelity (technically not but it feels like it to Shawn) - trust - honesty - these are issues that can and often do tear marriages asunder and these two are on a TV dating show and yet they are still fighting to find that way out. I just get the sense that neither is going to leave without the other - no matter how hard the process is or becomes.

IMO ultimately that will be how sexgate resolves - Shawn will be hurt and perhaps want to leave to stop the hurt until he realizes - leaving Kaitlyn behind will hurt even more and he will stay.

Love both posts and IA, they're both behaving crazily but it's because they can't figure it all out in such a strange world. Also, Kait is being extra crazy because she's hiding a big secret from him and is convinced he'll leave her the moment he finds out, so it makes a hard situation even harder because Shawn senses something is wrong with her but can't understand what it is, and feels more crazy than he already is feeling.

I just have to say...if Kait/Shawn somehow make it and go the distance I can't imagine them saying "Mommy & Daddy met in this really cool experience on a TV show...and do you want to watch?" No...just no...and yet, I'm cautiously optimistic that they "could" make it. But please...for the love of all things holy....don't show your kids....just DON'T!

To add context to K&S, below are two different conversations.  Has she had these types of conversation with anyone else?

In her room:

K: If this is going to be me and you..if this is going to happen, everything else needs to happen.  There is no other way around it and I don't know how to explain or justify it ..I do not know because there is no other way around it.  I am looking at the final two...if you are there, I am going to meet someone else's family and it's going to be intense…it is just going to be ..you have to focus on..this is for the rest of our lives..this is literally weeks in forever
s: Oh I know it is... almost like the more reassurances you give me, the harder it gets for me ..you know..I know
K:It's scary for me you know..do I back off ..do I like.. I don't know what to do ( Shawn is biting nails here nervously)….When this stuff happens, it makes me question us and I don't want to.
S: I am going to just work on being better at this whole thing cause I think it is worth it.  I know it is worth it and I want you more than anything.
K: I hope so.

He left her room with a kiss to her head.  K worries to me is that Shawn will find out about her and N.  She was so freaked when he came and was just waiting for the ax to drop.

At RC:

S:  I know you had a really tough week and I apologize for making it harder for you.
K: Part is my fault too.
S: and if I can rewind back to F-Island(me:could not remember the island name) and come here I would but I can't.   I never want to put you in a bad spot.
K: I know
S: and make this harder for you..you know. I definitely got in my own head, turned myself a little bit crazy
K:I feel like I regret sneaking and ..because I feel like that... I put a strain on us.  I don't know.. when I saw you like so torned that night I .. it was so hard and I just fell like I am to blame.
S:(Shaking his head) Ahh. I don't think you are to blame for anything
K: But I am
S: You know, this is how things work.  There are ups and downs but I think it is how you fight through it.
K:It is, but I think that is what concerns me... is like how you fight through these situations ..I guess that kinda scares me.  I did not see that happening to us.
S: Right and I want to get back to that more than anything.  I think we started off great and there was a bump.  You know its something that I wish have never happened
K: You know that one night I should not have done.. I shouldn't have. I had great intentions and I thought it was a sweet gesture.
S: It was yes.
K: and it just messed everything up.  It really did.  It just felt as though I have been unfair to you and everyone else and myself by things that I have done and I just think I have caused unnecessary tension but maybe things would have just went well for us
S: So what are you thinking
K: This is really hard and there is still time after this and there is still meeting people's families and I don't want to dismiss other relationships, so I think we just need to take a step back and decide if this is something we can get back to... and you have to know that other things are going to happen, other dates are going to happen and other relationships are going to happen.
S: I really think this is a bump in the road(me: no Shawn the whammie is coming)
K: I know.

Alanna wrote:

Lucas15 wrote:

Honestly I'm not stalking you but I was just about to send my TV out for repair after reading all the posts on this forum about how Shawn is controlling and abusive and disruptively jealous and my TV was simply not showing me that and I thought there was something wrong with it - and then I read this post and realized there's nothing wrong with my TV - someone else sees what I see as well - and you've saved me a repair bill.

I see two people who are pretty equally yoked - each is equally crazy in love with the other, they are stuck in a cage with only one way out and they are struggling to find it without leaving the other behind. They are dealing with very heady issues - infidelity (technically not but it feels like it to Shawn) - trust - honesty - these are issues that can and often do tear marriages asunder and these two are on a TV dating show and yet they are still fighting to find that way out. I just get the sense that neither is going to leave without the other - no matter how hard the process is or becomes.

IMO ultimately that will be how sexgate resolves - Shawn will be hurt and perhaps want to leave to stop the hurt until he realizes - leaving Kaitlyn behind will hurt even more and he will stay.

Love both posts and IA, they're both behaving crazily but it's because they can't figure it all out in such a strange world. Also, Kait is being extra crazy because she's hiding a big secret from him and is convinced he'll leave her the moment he finds out, so it makes a hard situation even harder because Shawn senses something is wrong with her but can't understand what it is, and feels more crazy than he already is feeling.

K&S being stuck in a cage is a great analogy. (I bet they wish they were stuck in a cage together   ) I just don't see how Shawn lets her go, even after sexgate.
I really think the big secret is why she is such an emotional mess, not so much letting the other guys go. The guilt is weighing heavily on her. Once she finally tells Shawn, it will set her free and she will be prying her little bird claws into him for dear life.  Right now she is playing it real cool with him as defense mechanism only, IMO.
She has demonstrated her more emotional side when she let JJ and Cupcake go, but Shawn is the only man to see her on the verge of tears/crying otherwise for different reasons. We see Shawn looking to K (and maybe a few contestant friends) for being his "rock" during this process. I see that as a good thing as it will only help him and his relationship. Most men are stoic about this, especially in this situation (I don't think it does them any favors) But I see K also leaning on Shawn for some emotional support as well. He must make her feel safe to do that. It helps that he has been so forthcoming with his own feelings and thoughts.

Moving this to the K&S General Discussion, too, so we can discuss more of the psychological goodies at play here.  

The worst part of this episode? Chris H. informing Kaitlyn that she would be punished for sleeping with nick and telling shawn he is F1 by foregoing hometown dates and forcing "intimate" time with 3 to "level the playing field." I'm now getting to the point where I hate watch this show and it really doesn't have to do with my dislike of Kaitlyn, Nick or Shawn. Just the producers and their ridiculous editing and storyboard this season.