The Bachelorette 11 - Kaitlyn Bristowe - #7 - Media - Tweets - IG - *Sleuthing - Spoilers* - Discussion

K told Shawn that she felt the same as him, falling in love and then few days later is doing the deed with Nick.
To me, Shawn was just projecting his own insecurities and fears onto Nick, when they really were about Kaitlyn, imo

Shawn's whole.. "thought you were smarter than that", "your words don't match your actions" and "the other guy" to me is just Shawn trying to distance himself and be in denial.
They hadn't even had their first date and he was already doubting her.
No matter how much Shawn tries to make it about N, his words/actions were saying something but it was about Kaitlyn not N, imo.
And putting the blame on "that other guy" only lasts so long in any relationship.

I think Shawn went into the show a bit naive about the whole concept and how it was going to go, thinking it was meant to be easy and from that stem the problems. 

I can see them working well outside of the bubble and away from the bachelor world. The bachelor world is so messed up after all, I think the insecurities make sense...

Okay, seriously, Shawn is mad at what she did on the show? Grow up man. She is the bachelorette, she wasn't yours yet. Sorry, I haven't watched and think Shawn and Kaitlyn look really cute together so hope they are good, but if he is making her feel bad about what she did on the show then I think she could do better.

It was her job to get to know more than one guy and let's be honest, to Kaitlyn that includes sex. And yes she was falling in love, guess what she was probably falling in love with both of them. Don't almost all leads fall in love with more than one person?

Kaitlyn owes Shawn no apologies for anything that happened during taping unless she lied to him. Now after, sure if she is dating or engaged to Shawn and having sex with others get mad. But she was NOT Shawn's. Sorry, but if Shawn is pouting or making Kaitlyn feel bad about herself, then I am anti-Shawn.

And sorry, but their are a million guy personal trainers who like kids, so really, you aren't all that special, just the bachelor flavor of the week.

happydays wrote:I think Shawn went into the show a bit naive about the whole concept and how it was going to go, thinking it was meant to be easy and from that stem the problems. 

I can see them working well outside of the bubble and away from the bachelor world. The bachelor world is so messed up after all, I think the insecurities make sense...

Sorry for the double posts, but if Shawn was naive that is his fault, not Kaitlyn's. The more I read the less I like this guy.

I hope this is all our assumptions because I want to like this couple, I really do, I want Kaitlyn happy. I like her sense of humor and her honesty. I like that unlike the past two leads she isn't being presented as anything but what she is. It is refreshing to me.

Good point stuck.
This is my honest opinion -- but just an opinion...as much of a "Free spirit" K is, a lot of Shawn's behavior and preconditions and expectations don't really seem to be supportive of her experiences and trials but more so seeking justifications and explanations for her behavior. Very understandable cos it is a very abnormal situation to be in. I totally understand that they're high on pheromones and "in love"/infatuation, but as ^^^ K is working overtime choosing to cater to his expectations -- it really puts into question her own need for choice and freedom and exploration in some ways and her feeling of being supported in those choices rather than feeling the need to "explain them". for instance, I don't see Shawn as someone she can fully confide in and feel supported by when it comes to her struggles with being the bachette. I think a majority of her amazing f6 would more than be willing to be there for her in these confusing difficult times.

so it's going to be very interesting to see after all the initial "high on phermones" situation dies down how she and shawn are able to give each other what they need that comes naturally for each of their personalities or if those activities to feel such needs are more unnatural for their personalities -- in essence, are their personalities actually compatible for them to compromise a bit and be able to give each other a LOT of what the other needs when they are together??

emusha wrote:Good point stuck.
This is my honest opinion -- but just an opinion...as much of a "Free spirit" K is, a lot of Shawn's behavior and preconditions and expectations don't really seem to be supportive of her experiences and trials but more so seeking justifications and explanations for her behavior. Very understandable cos it is a very abnormal situation to be in. I totally understand that they're high on pheromones and "in love"/infatuation, but as ^^^ K is working overtime choosing to cater to his expectations -- it really puts into question her own need for choice and freedom and exploration in some ways and her feeling of being supported in those choices rather than feeling the need to "explain them". for instance, I don't see Shawn as someone she can fully confide in and feel supported by when it comes to her struggles with being the bachette. I think a majority of her amazing f6 would more than be willing to be there for her in these confusing difficult times.

so it's going to be very interesting to see after all the initial "high on phermones" situation dies down how she and shawn are able to give each other what they need that comes naturally for each of their personalities or if those activities to feel such needs are more unnatural for their personalities -- in essence, are their personalities actually compatible for them to compromise a bit and be able to give each other a LOT of what the other needs when they are together??

I think how Shawn will take the news of pre-FS with Nick will be very telling about the future of their relationship, for sure.

And who knows, maybe the producers have been playing with his mind about asking K those questions, just so he isn't so obvious of a frontrunner. got to create some doubt for the viewers right?

The bubble is a powerful thing but so is coming out of the bubble. Will have to see which way things go but I for one am getting tired of K having to hide and untag herself in anything N related. It is not the present, it is the past. Knowing she is with Shawn now and is hiding/untagging herself in anything Nick related doesn't make me think she is doing it for herself. It makes me think she is doing it because she doesn't want to make someone else feel bad. Kaitlyn lives with no regrets as she should! If Shawn is truly being supportive of her now then she would not need to reassure with silly things like hiding oneself from tagged IG pics.

I don't see Kaitlyn feeling bad about her decisions with any of the other guys. She gets angry with them and sends them home when they question/doubt her. Only with Shawn does she start to cry/reassure/feel bad about herself/decisions.

I like strong/confident Kaitlyn not insecure/crying Kaitlyn. A guy that is good for her will make her feel confident in herself. It's why I was surprised that S wasn't showing support via SM for K, no matter his own personal feelings love is still putting another above your own feelings.

happydays wrote:

emusha wrote:Good point stuck.
This is my honest opinion -- but just an opinion...as much of a "Free spirit" K is, a lot of Shawn's behavior and preconditions and expectations don't really seem to be supportive of her experiences and trials but more so seeking justifications and explanations for her behavior. Very understandable cos it is a very abnormal situation to be in. I totally understand that they're high on pheromones and "in love"/infatuation, but as ^^^ K is working overtime choosing to cater to his expectations -- it really puts into question her own need for choice and freedom and exploration in some ways and her feeling of being supported in those choices rather than feeling the need to "explain them". for instance, I don't see Shawn as someone she can fully confide in and feel supported by when it comes to her struggles with being the bachette. I think a majority of her amazing f6 would more than be willing to be there for her in these confusing difficult times.

so it's going to be very interesting to see after all the initial "high on phermones" situation dies down how she and shawn are able to give each other what they need that comes naturally for each of their personalities or if those activities to feel such needs are more unnatural for their personalities -- in essence, are their personalities actually compatible for them to compromise a bit and be able to give each other a LOT of what the other needs when they are together??

I think how Shawn will take the news of pre-FS with Nick will be very telling about the future of their relationship, for sure.

And who knows, maybe the producers have been playing with his mind about asking K those questions, just so he isn't so obvious of a frontrunner. got to create some doubt for the viewers right?

based on K's actions as Shawn astutely observed he's a lot less "have it in the bag" than it appears from the way we've been shown things and she'd given him words and reassurances. I do think he's being manupilated by producers to be highly emotional as well -- but I still think K's "free spirit" nature whether it be about other guys or something else is not really going to change much -- is that something shawn is happy living next to and supporting and enjoying or is it something that grates at his personality and his needs? I'm asking this beyond the infatuation...

ETA: no idea how their relationship is like post show but it appears from the little we know -- K has a lot of pressure not only from the public but also from shawn to be/do things that are within the bounds of acceptability -- not her own but others and honestly I don't think she's really about that so we shall see what's happening behind the curtain

happydays wrote:I  feel like there is a sense that K & N can now no longer be friends post show because of shawn (which is understandable in his defense).

To add to that list, I've noticed in her People Mag recap and her previous snapchat recaps, she very happily talks about all the other guys but skims over Nick. Either something is not right between them or she feels that she has to reassure Shawn.

I was really looking to see what she would say about how Nick answered the questions at the start of the show or his mariachi song (which I thought was epic), but really got hardly a sentence on Nick himself. It was more about feeling bad for the guys. Should be interesting to see her recap next week...

I have the same sense that she has distanced herself from Nick post show. In addition there was a reason that she deleted SM references and IG tags of Nick and IMO it didn't have anything to do with her having to do this because Nick was now on the show (which was speculated) - because she is now putting out references to Shawn (the "I like his smell" is the most recent one) and he is on the show.

But I don't think she deleted those references  - or did any the things you noticed in her post-show behavior - for Shawn but rather for herself. IMO it's sort of like the song from South Pacific - "I'm Gonna Wash That Man Right Outa My Hair" - she wants to emotionally move forward without reminders of or hanging on to a past which may have been a dark time in her life. Self-inflicted to be sure.

How many pics of Nick's has she untagged though? I think she did it when she unfollowed him but not since then. Of course, I haven't been paying that much attention after snapchat.

I hope he's not making her feel bad about her choices now that they're out in the real world, and that he's understanding and supportive of who she is as a person. She hasn't seemed to change, so I don't think she's feeling much pressure from him to live up to some expectations. She really could just be skimming over Nick in her blogs and such because she's over it and just wants to move on and be with Shawn.

Lucas, we were posting at the same time, I agree with you! It could be more for herself than for Shawn. It'll be interesting to see how he handles everything when he finds out.

One more thing, Shawn is supportive of her on sm and was immediately, but more in a silly, relaxed way than hashtagging positivity and let's all sing kumbaya like Nick. He posted that he's Team Kait, fav'd things about her, retweeted their deleted scene. I actually can see her responding really well to support that doesn't take all this crap that seriously, acting like all of future womanhood is on her shoulders from this show. Again, we'll really need to see Shawn live to know more imo.

She has been bombarded with Nick questions, esp. in the light of next week's episode, so yeah I agree--- her talking about shawn more in her sm might be her putting her own past behind her rather than reassuring shawn.

I mean she must have had pretty strong feelings for Nick to sleep with him twice and let him back into the show late, so it might be a way to move forward and work on her relationship and hopefully marriage.

I do not see K & N friends post-show unfortunately (or fortunately for Shawn)

Based on K's own words she has said N was there for the right reasons. If she felt otherwise she could have left it vague and ambiguous but she has been emphatic about Nick being genuinely there for her. This is a positive view of Nick from Kaitlyn.

I could see her being someone who can be friendly with Nick post-show (like Becca) and Nick has been very supportive post-show -- taking the higher road and b/c she lives with no regrets. It was only when Nick was about to appear on the show that she started untagging/hiding, etc.

No way, imo, that Shawn would allow Kaitlyn to be friends with Nick post-show. He wants N to be "the other guy" only. Anything K does now is not just for herself. Her blog is post-snapchat and we know she is with Shawn. If she had to reassure Shawn when Nick was brought on the filming-show it is no surprise to me that she will reassure him once again when he is appearing on the tv-show. The parallels are there - engaged or not. jmho