Andi Dorfman - The Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - #3

Sorry this was a stupid offensive post and I deleted it as I mean no disrespect to any of our members.

Is she/was she a rich girl? Like Emily rich? What do her parents do?

Stuck - lawyers don't have official required summer work. But you must work as a clerk all summers in order to secure any type of legal employment.  Additionally, a lot of lawyers do have a "residency" type of program by clerking with a judge or a court for a year or two post graduation.  Many then move on to be an associate at a firm where you must bill at least 2,000 hours a year - so that's BILLING 38 hours a week - not just sitting at work 38 hours a week.  It means you must be doing work that is billable to a client for 38/40 hours a week. This will go on for around 7-10 years - either until you decide big firm life isn't for you or you move on to being a partner. So it isn't the formalized programs medical professionals do but still extremely hard work.

I have 4 lawyers in my family and while I won't try and compare programs for different degrees I can tell you that going to law school is difficult.

To answer your question, most schools don't require summer classes, however if you have a prayer of getting a job after your done you have to do a summer internship. Unfortunately there are an abundance of law students graduating and not enough jobs so many have long job searches after passing the bar (which by the way is total memorization of our laws and is extremely difficult) This year alone more than a third of he people who took the NYS bar exam failed.

I didn't realize Andi was looking for sympathy, praise, a pass from anyone.  Is it her fault or anyone's fault for that matter that she was born into privilege and/or wealth?  Lord knows I was not but I strive for the best life for myself and don't compare my life or upbringing to anyone else. I have to deal with the hand I was dealt.

I guess I don't get the hostility/disdain some people have towards someone they don't know and will probably never meet.  

Life is a journey.  I wish Andi the best whatever that may be, for her.

I'll get off my soapbox now

So she has an apartment all to herself in West Village with several rooms to fill? How on earth can she afford it?

I wondered how she affords that too when I read about rooms to fill.

I also agree that law school is no cake walk, especially if you do it without taking any time off of your studies.

lurker11 wrote:Stuck - lawyers don't have official required summer work. But you must work as a clerk all summers in order to secure any type of legal employment.  Additionally, a lot of lawyers do have a "residency" type of program by clerking with a judge or a court for a year or two post graduation.  Many then move on to be an associate at a firm where you must bill at least 2,000 hours a year - so that's BILLING 38 hours a week - not just sitting at work 38 hours a week.  It means you must be doing work that is billable to a client for 38/40 hours a week. This will go on for around 7-10 years - either until you decide big firm life isn't for you or you move on to being a partner. So it isn't the formalized programs medical professionals do but I am a little defensive that you wouldn't consider this hard work.

I agree most lawyers I know work very hard. Quite a few of my high school classmates and my first boyfriend all did law.

All those things you listed clerking for a judge, putting in the associates hours, well Andi did none of them. She worked an ADA's grueling schedule for one year, tops. Most lawyers, I agree deserve any break, but Andi hardly spent anytime being a lawyer. Her schooling was no more intense then many others. And at this point she has been away from law or law schooling for almost two years so almost half the time she spent learning and practicing law. So nope, not feeling she "deserves" this break.

Blue, the Dorfmans are quite well off, lake house and all, but probably not Emily wealthy. Not many are. But Andi did not grow up wondering if she could go to college financially or thinking about community or junior college or how many years she would have to work after high school to afford college. I grew up poor, I did every activity while working to earn money for my own very used car and it's gas and insurance, as well as getting almost straight As to make sure I qualified for scholarships as well. I did all this from age 12 on, and I saw many others do the same. I also worked at least one job all through college to help with anything those scholarships didn't cover and had some small student loans (too stupid to take the full ride at a small school, I wanted Texas). I see my youngest niece struggling with this now. Life is very different for the children of the working poor. I have no problem with those who come from privilege taking advantage of it. But Andi and those like her really don't know what the true struggle is like, so I don't feel sorry for her or feel she "deserves" any kind of break or opportunity. JMO.

Laudergirl wrote:Reading the article it comes as no surprise that after all of her years of schooling Andi wanted to take some time off, find herself, travel, live in a big city and chase her dreams. I don't blame her one bit, as I think many of us have felt that way. But although I'm happy for her that she now has that opportunity, this article reaffirms my belief that she was not ready to get married or start a family with Josh.  

This is just my opinion, but I think her journey on the Bachelorette was not so much to find love, but to give herself the opportunites to do the traveling, wear the great clothes, and get the recognition and fame, (and monetary rewards) that came with it. I think she surprised herself by falling in love with Josh as hard as she did, and it probably threw a kink into her plan, because he was very serious about getting married and having kids sooner than later, and that wasn't necessarily what she wanted, although I do think she would have eventually, and I definitely think that she wanted it to be with him, just on a different timeline. There were other things she wanted to do first.

Hopefully, Andi will find the success in fashion that she desires. Right now is obviously an exciting time for her in NYC, but that eventually could change and she may tire of the "energy" there and be ready to settle down herself.  I just don't think she would have every been truly happy with any man if she didn't take the opportunities she has now been given to reach for her dreams.

In the meantime, because she wants to focus on herself now and says she's not ready to date again anytime soon, I hope fans will be more understanding of Josh when he does start dating for real, because it could be sooner as he seems to know what he wants in life right now and that is to settle down and start a family with a woman who shares his same values.

ITA with your post. I don't think her love for Josh was fake in any way, nor her motives on the show. She was looking for a husband, but by "husband" she meant a life partner to explore the world with her and after a year or two they would get married and then do some more exploring where 5 or 6 years down the line they would have kids. Somehow I always remember her saying "I'm looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with" - as opposed to constantly saying she was looking for a husband. And as you said Josh's and her timeline just didn't match up. 

It's very clear in this interview that she has gone from one thing to the next without taking time off to find herself and achieve her personal dreams which she is now doing, so good for her. She was in a very long relationship before the bachelorette and it's difficult in that situation to sort of find out exactly who you are when someone else is your focus, because I don't think as a teenager she had to do a lot of self-development due to the environment in which she was brought up - thats not her fault but it just means she has to do it now. I think she'll grow and mature a lot in her time in NYC because it seems as if its the first time she has taken a pause in her life to focus on her own personal development.

stuckinsc wrote:

lurker11 wrote:Stuck - lawyers don't have official required summer work. But you must work as a clerk all summers in order to secure any type of legal employment.  Additionally, a lot of lawyers do have a "residency" type of program by clerking with a judge or a court for a year or two post graduation.  Many then move on to be an associate at a firm where you must bill at least 2,000 hours a year - so that's BILLING 38 hours a week - not just sitting at work 38 hours a week.  It means you must be doing work that is billable to a client for 38/40 hours a week. This will go on for around 7-10 years - either until you decide big firm life isn't for you or you move on to being a partner. So it isn't the formalized programs medical professionals do but I am a little defensive that you wouldn't consider this hard work.

I agree most lawyers I know work very hard. Quite a few of my high school classmates and my first boyfriend all did law.  

All those things you listed clerking for a judge, putting in the associates hours, well Andi did none of them. She worked an ADA's grueling schedule for one year, tops. Most lawyers, I agree deserve any break, but Andi hardly spent anytime being a lawyer. Her schooling was no more intense then many others. And at this point she has been away from law or law schooling for almost two years so almost half the time she spent learning and practicing law. So nope, not feeling she "deserves" this break.

Blue, the Dorfmans are quite well off, lake house and all, but probably not Emily wealthy. Not many are. But Andi did not grow up wondering if she could go to college financially or thinking about community or junior college or how many years she would have to work after high school to afford college. I grew up poor, I did every activity while working to earn money for my own very used car and it's gas and insurance, as well as getting almost straight As to make sure I qualified for scholarships as well. I did all this from age 12 on, and I saw many others do the same. I also worked at least one job all through college to help with anything those scholarships didn't cover and had some small student loans (too stupid to take the full ride at a small school, I wanted Texas). I see my youngest niece struggling with this now. Life is very different for the children of the working poor. I have no problem with those who come from privilege taking advantage of it. But Andi and those like her really don't know what the true struggle is like, so I don't feel sorry for her or feel she  "deserves" any kind of break or opportunity. JMO.

Andi did go straight from law school to the ADA's office so while she was working she also studied for the bar and passed it. Does anyone know what she did during the summers of law school. Is it possible that she worked in an area of the law at that point? I truly don't know what her work resume looks like so I can't comment.

bleuberry wrote:I wondered how she affords that too when I read about rooms to fill.

I also agree that law school is no cake walk, especially if you do it without taking any time off of your studies.

And if she has rooms to fill why post IG or Twitter pics of your undies drying in her kitchen? To try to garner sympathy, when in fact once again mommy and daddy are keeping her from experiencing real life?

I am all for Andi experiencing and growing, just do it on your own dime like others or admit like Emily does how lucky you are to have someone else paying your bills.

If Andi, like thousands of other young people in this country, have family money, I don't understand why that is an issue. I have no idea if the money she is spending is from an inheritance, family trust, bachelorette monies or direct from mom and dad. I'm not sure what she is supposed to do with that money - not spend it? Not use it to get an apartment in NY? Is she blessed to have funds to live with? Absolutely! Do I think she needs to post info on her apartment and it's size etc? Absolutely Not! To me, it isn't IF she has the money, how much or where it came from, but how she is sharing that information with the public.