Andi Dorfman - The Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - #3

Not only that ^, but the longer you remain unemployed in today's society, the more likely you become unemployable.
Ask anyone who has been out of work for over a year or two and it makes it difficult to become hired. Prospective employers want to know what you have done in that time period that makes you employable. It can become a loop.

nannymargie wrote:It's only been a couple of months since the break up which she took hard and I am sure she will figure out what direction she will go on her time not ours.  We don't know what she is working on  behind the scenes

Lots of people go through difficult break ups but of financial necessity, still haul it out of bed and go to work every day.

^ People manage to haul themselves out of bed and go to work who have gone through many life challenges such as death and illness.

My guess is Andi is still looking for fame rather than a real job. Just my opinion.

Andi may have a job already that we simply don't know about. There are many job situations that aren't traditional - work at home, telecommute, etc. Simply because her name isn't on a company website somewhere doesn't mean she isn't working.

She may be working in one of the family businesses….we just don't know.

^ This is true. I am surprised she has not responded to this issue, if it is the case, as she had so quickly the other day regarding her dating status since break up. It lends one to believe she is not working.

Kashathediva wrote:^ This is true. I am surprised she has not responded to this issue, if it is the case, as she had so quickly the other day regarding her dating status since break up. It lends one to believe she is not working.

Has there been a lot of questioning on SM and mags that she isn't working? If so, I agree, it is curious that she hasn't responded.

Kashathediva wrote:^ This is true. I am surprised she has not responded to this issue, if it is the case, as she had so quickly the other day regarding her dating status since break up. It lends one to believe she is not working.

I can understand her putting the dating NV rumor to rest right away.

IDK, honestly.
I do not follow her SM. I read what is brought over here by her fans etc.
I do know there are people who for whatever reasons choose to scrutinize people's SM and they are not fans of that person. (what I mean is they actually don't like the person and follow them and/or will choose to act out negatively on their SM). I am not into that.

I partly agree with you stuckinsc, I do think that her quitting law hurt her relationship with Josh and Josh changing careers didn't help either. They both didn't get the person they thought they would, IMO.

However, I would say that Andi has been floating around for 9 months now, since she finished tapping the bachelorette in May 2014. I don't think she assumed, she would miss work for such a long period of time or that she would become the bachelorette but she did get sucked into this 'glamorous life', having fans, getting presents and having men fawning over her, IMO. During her season she appeared to be someone who knew what they wanted and worked hard for it. It also seemed like all she ever did was push herself harder (trying to be play tennis professionally, never taking off time after high school or after graduating college or getting her law degree and then instantly after getting her degree starting working as a lawyer). It sounds exhausting. I would know, I did the same thing and after a while you can't continue like this and you are burned out. She probably thought that all this work would be worth it in the end, once she was a lawyer, she would be happy, but instead she worked long hours and had no private life (I think I read somewhere that the day she applied for the bachelorette was the first day she got off work early in a long time).

Then she gets to be a contestant on the bachelor and later on becomes the bachelorettte. She gets praised by fans, gets presents, travels the world, men are falling in love with her and she barely has to lift a finger to accomplish that (if you compare it to being a lawyer). On top of that she gets paid better than a lawyer who is just starting his career. So, when you add these two, her being unhappy in her job and the unreal experiences (mostly positive in her mind) with being famous, she clung to that and quit her job. I think the reason why she is still clinging to her fame and why the opinion of the public means so much to her is because for once she was happy during her experience on the bachelor/the bachelorette and doesn't want to let go of it. She also knows that she is nothing without her fans (in the TV world that is). Being a perfectionist myself and having gone through quite a few changes myself in the last 18 months, I know that it scary and hard to start from scratch. It would be hard for anyone, but being a perfectionist you only see failure in front of you and want to be perfect from the beginning. Andi, IMO thinks that she failed on all ends. She failed as a lawyer, as the bachelorette (a lot of people don't like her) and she failed in her relationship with Josh. On top of that all the world was part of it, which only makes it worse. Of course she chose to go on TV herself, no one forced her but I think she thought it would be different. She thought she was strong and independent being a lawyer, but in the end she had to deal with the fact that she is not that person.

I don't think she knows who she is or what she wants anymore. She needs to realize that she will never be happy as long as she is looking for other people's appoval and acting a certain way for people to like her, subconsciously or not. She needs to do what makes her happy and be selfish, to put her happiness above what other people expect of her or what she thinks they expect of her.

That all is of course JMO but I'm sad when I read how many people don't like her and judge her as I think she is mostly missunderstood. I tried to explain, in this essay it appears to be, sorry for that , how I see things and why I like her. I just can relate to her, feel compassion for what she is going through right now and I see quite a few similarities between the two of us other than the fact that we are both called Andi (and no I'm not her, I live in Germany)

^^ very thoughtful post Traveler.  Thanks for sharing.  I don't like Andi for the heartless way she treated Nick... It's just that simple for me.  And feeling that way about her, like Kasha, I don't necessarily look on her SM for ammunition to bury her, but find lots in the info that supporters bring over ... which paint a picture of someone, as you say, who is lost.  

I had a moment of feeling her pain, when she cried with CH, but it's hard to be supportive or feel sorry for someone I see as a mean girl, who's had all the advantages and once in a lifetime paid experiences.  So her actions (mean tweets) and lack thereof (no job) feel self indulgent to me (boo hoo, boo hoo) and make me cringe.

KB_Mom wrote:

nannymargie wrote:It's only been a couple of months since the break up which she took hard and I am sure she will figure out what direction she will go on her time not ours.  We don't know what she is working on  behind the scenes

Lots of people go through difficult break ups but of financial necessity, still haul it out of bed and go to work every day.

I agree - it's called LIFE! And sometimes, the necessity of having to haul it out of bed every day helps you focus on the positive things in your life! My advice to Andi - grow up!