Bachelor 19 - Kelsey Poe - Discussion

northernviewer wrote:For me, it's not about the fact that Kelsey has a sad story, (and I sincerely think she does) it's how she's telling it, and what she hopes to gain from it.

There's been lot's of sad stories told by the leads and other contestants - but they were told with class and respect.  They weren't told dramatically to advance, they were told to explain who they were.  My objection to Kelsey, as I've stated previously, is the manner in which she's using it to gain sympathy to get a stinkin' rose!

Agree. Thank you for expressing much eloquently.


As for the mods./admin.: I sincerely apologize for my long posts - I know I'm way too longwinded - I've tried before to "skim" some of my opinions, but then I lose the whole point of why something made me itchy to want to comment at all - so sorry for unnecessary work of editing.[/quote]

eirekay wrote:Here's my deal with Kelsey - she's the brittle perfectionist I would have been if I hadn't had my own mini-crisis in College.  In the space of a couple of years I lost my brother to cancer, my father to alcohol and my mother to her grief.  My parents divorced mid-way through my freshmen yr of college - I was at the Sorbonne in Paris - a hard won prize - and I had to leave at the end of the second semester because neither parent would help cover the remaining tuition on my partial scholarship.  They were feuding over money for 5 years.  I ended up working my way through college 40 hours a week as a hotel desk clerk while carrying 15 units per semester.  My grades suffered, I graduated a year late, and I was absolutely mortified.  

Thank God that happened.  It taught me to be realistic, accept my limitations and be patient with others.  I'm still type A but I now cut myself some slack.  I totally get Kelsey - wouldn't want to be her but I totally understand that need to present a perfect veneer.

Eirekay ... I must give props to you.

I'm just the same (and sometimes it's hard to admit) and similarly I've learned my lessons, but there is still a road ahead of me to "improve". Specially in relationship with the most dear to me, my family, my parents, I'm still learning to find the "right way" of communication.
That's why Kelsey's talk triggered in me a great discomfort. Her words were just not aligned with the story she was unconsciously giving us audience.
And I like what you write. Patience. If I would breath for a moment, I would be more empathetic. And my burst had more to do with an accumulation of the attitude she had in the last few episodes (denigration of other women), the similar vanity-behavior of public speaking people on TV and SM etc. when talking about their struggles as the only one who experienced them, the propaganda by TPTB that their show is of great cultural value and demonstrates deep, meaningful stories and the fact that Kelsey's conduct on the show is showing me (viewing as I would understand where she's coming from) that she has not dealt with an issue completely, so there's my take on why "discussing her incredible comeback and overcoming the tragedy" is prematurely. (or an ulterior cause to promote her upcoming activity ... just the same, not place and time if she is there "for the right reason" - to fall in love)
I was irritated by a few words.
And as I explained to Mia - I'm guilty just the same, since there are moments, as evidences my previous post, when I don't realize in time the effect of certain words I use and how can the word trigger a reaction that wasn't intended.
I guess I was expecting more from her and like you mention about life lesson - wasn't realistic. People make mistakes and are not perfect.

So on the Soup with Joel McHale last night they had a Kelsey clip and the guest comedian playing Kelsey and at the end the guest said that she gets her husband and then we see the conclusion of the story on Wives with Knives, it was pretty funny. Hubby and I were both laughing.

http://www.eonline.com/shows/the_soup/videos/231431/converting-dead-husbands-to-make-outs-on-the-bachelor

Just read Sharleen's recap and I think she explained much better what agitated me too.
So here's the link: Sharleen Joynt Blog
As for Kelsey's personality, there are definitely aspects that remind me of myself and then there are things that I've perceived from the moment of her introduction, with her entry and her first few PIs (ITMs, or how they're called) that she is very ambitious, with her standards set high, with defined values and expectations and firstly it surprised me that she would even consider the possibility of a relationship with Chris and I don't mean by moving to Iowa and marrying a farmer, that's not the issue, it's the character and personality of Chris that in my opinion doesn't match with who Kelsey is and secondly she shocked me with her manner of expressing herself.
But at the end I'm questioning is she even attracted to Chris, does she really see the future with him, does she actually like him? Or is it just a desire to win, to prove something to someone, to herself, to validate her story?

^ I always enjoy Sharleen's recaps and find her to be pretty perceptive.

Every time Kelsey talks about her relationship with Chris, I ask myself "What relationship?" because they haven't shown us anything of this "relationship." Until the recent drama, she seemed to me like a MOT girl.

Like Sharleen, I question whether she is even attracted to Chris or if she even actually likes him. I haven't seen anything that hints at an attraction. She seems to be all about getting a rose and not getting sent home, but not because she has any actual attraction to him. So why then is she on this show and so competitive about getting a rose from a guy she doesn't really seem to care about?

Perhaps as Sharleen says, it is about proving something to herself and validating her story.

I have two other theories- not necessarily mutually exclusive:

1. She thinksshe is auditioning to be the next 'ette. She thinks she is the next Emily- tragic story of losing the love of her life, now looking for love again. To be clear, I don't think she is in the running to be the next 'ette or that she is anything like Emily, but the way she has been edited leads me to think that Kelsey thinks she could be the next Emily' ette.

2. She wants to do something with her "amazing story" - write a book, be a motivational speaker etc about overcoming tragedy and grief. Doesn't seem a coincidence to me that she set up a blog before she went on the show, that the website for the blog is "under construction" and that she undoubtedly planned to start writing on the blog the minute she was eliminated. (not so sure with the backlash if she'll still do the blog). The way she has conducted herself on the show seems a contrived attempt to "become known" for her "story", elicit sympathy, and draw traffic to the blog, with the blog being a springboard to bigger things, and wanting some type of "career" out of the portrait she has painted of herself as being unique in surviving the death of her husband at a young age.

JMHO.

I'm not sure what she thinks her story is, but I wouldn't read a book about someone's husband passing away suddenly, and the grieving widow decides to travel the world and go on the Bachelor. Other than that, what is her story?

There is nothing wrong with wanting to set goals, achieving them and being the best you can be at whatever you want to be. However, that shouldn't interfere with compassion, empathy, and the real story when someone passes away, and that, is of their life. JMHOs

Kelsey just posted on SM "the rose is just a rouse." That's a strange thing to say. Almost like she's blaming the rose for her behavior?

She's weird.

Fivesolas76 wrote:Kelsey just posted on SM "the rose is just a rouse." ...

Kelsey Poe ‏@KelseyLynPoe  · 2h2 hours ago  
The rose is just a rouse #TheBachelor

Maddy wrote:

Fivesolas76 wrote:Kelsey just posted on SM "the rose is just a rouse." ...

Kelsey Poe ‏@KelseyLynPoe  · 2h2 hours ago  
The rose is just a rouse #TheBachelor

Could she have meant to say "RUSE," but misspelled it?

Rouse can mean several things, however one of the meanings is to stir up emotions, to cause an emotional response. 
Knowing what we have seen of Kelsey, I suspect she meant rouse.

I'm trying to be empathetic but "a women who's lost everything"?? is a little too drastic IMO. It's another display of focusing the attention on her amazing story which isn't a story at all.

IMO she doesn't know what it's like to loose "everything".