Couples Therapy - Season 5 - Premier Sept 10 2014 - General Discussion

Alanna wrote:I've never watched this show before, it was pretty interesting!

Treach and Cicely, I think their relationship is fine This sounds that it's just the way they communicate and show each other love. I don't see anything changing. I'm of ye little faith on Dr. Jen I guess.

The Jersey Shore couple seem perfectly happy and fine and we know they're getting engaged. I'm pretty sure they're doing this for the money.

Evel Dick and Stephanie, why is she trying to get back together with him? Everyone can tell she can do infinitely better so either it's for the money, fame, or she has some super low self-esteem.

Nikki and JPG is just same ole same ole, as expected. JPG seems to be the most infuriating person and I just cannot imagine trying to reason with him. He has no desire to listen to Nikki or any woman that we've seen him with either, everything gets chalked up to her being a "crazy, insecure woman," his "culture," or the ever abused scapegoat reason of him being a daddy. When he interacts with Nikki or another woman, I see his attitude that he is right, Nikki is wrong and needs to stop whining because trying to express independent thought is just her being a 15 year old brat. Nikki puts up with this because...why, I don't know actually. Once they break-up, I think this will be one of those relationships she looks back on, smacks her forehead, and goes, "I put up with THAT and on TV?!?"

IMO he's doing this for the money also and thinks their relationship is fine, and if Nikki would just quit speaking so dang much and shut up, everything would be perfect for him.

MVP comment definitely goes to JPG for thinking Treach's name is Trash. Amazing.

JuanPa is just one excuse after another. He relies heavily on using them to explain his behavior, oh it's the cultural differences. Oh it's the fact that Nikki is immature. Oh it's because he has a daughter. He should just try the truth. He doesn't love her and probably never will. He likes the attention and money he got from the show. JuanPa needs to do some growing up and soul-searching before he will ever be ready to marry someone. And Nikki needs to get out of this relationship because she deserves to be treated better and would actually like to get married which JuanPa doesn't seem interested in at all.

^Nicely put umngirl. I certainly don't think he's a bad guy, but he has far too many excuses. The worst for me is that love means more in his culture, so that's why it's taking him a while to say it. Love is important and means a lot in any culture. I'm not saying he needs to say it to Nikki if he doesn't love her, but just be honest. Feeling love and being in love is different for each person, it doesn't have to do with culture. You either love someone or you don't. You feel it or you don't. It's nice to see that from a preview, Nikki says something similar to him during one of their sessions. I do think he cares for Nikki, but I would be utterly shocked if they ever ended up married and in my opinion, he's using Nikki and the idea and image of their relationship.

Like I said, I don't think he's a bad guy at all. I do think he has some growing up to do, which is funny because he referred to Nikki as his fifteen year old daughter, but I can count several times where it was almost as if Nikki had to treat him like a child to get answers out of him during their season. I do appreciate his interview he did with Access Hollywood though. For a guy that didn't have the greatest relationship with Andi, it was nice to see him state that private things should remain private and that there was no need to essentially embarrass a woman on national television. For someone who I always viewed as arrogant, it was nice to see him basically state that there is no need to essentially put your "conquests" for a lack of a better term out in the open.

I didn't think I'd watch, but I found it pretty entertaining, but mostly just their parts. Who knows, maybe it will help them.

Ash2214 wrote:^Nicely put umngirl. I certainly don't think he's a bad guy, but he has far too many excuses. The worst for me is that love means more in his culture, so that's why it's taking him a while to say it. Love is important and means a lot in any culture. I'm not saying he needs to say it to Nikki if he doesn't love her, but just be honest. Feeling love and being in love is different for each person, it doesn't have to do with culture. You either love someone or you don't. You feel it or you don't. It's nice to see that from a preview, Nikki says something similar to him during one of their sessions. I do think he cares for Nikki, but I would be utterly shocked if they ever ended up married and in my opinion, he's using Nikki and the idea and image of their relationship.

Like I said, I don't think he's a bad guy at all. I do think he has some growing up to do, which is funny because he referred to Nikki as his fifteen year old daughter, but I can count several times where it was almost as if Nikki had to treat him like a child to get answers out of him during their season. I do appreciate his interview he did with Access Hollywood though. For a guy that didn't have the greatest relationship with Andi, it was nice to see him state that private things should remain private and that there was no need to essentially embarrass a woman on national television. For someone who I always viewed as arrogant, it was nice to see him basically state that there is no need to essentially put your "conquests" for a lack of a better term out in the open.

I didn't think I'd watch, but I found it pretty entertaining, but mostly just their parts. Who knows, maybe it will help them.

I do think he was trying to cover for Nikki's "I was third" and Evil Dick's comments. He doesn't believe in kissing and telling. That's the end of his gentlemen behavior though. This is sad to watch Nikki's expressions to his hurtful words. This show is way too Jerry Springer-ish for me. I'll have to record it and fast forward. I have no idea who Treach is but I can't watch harsh, yelling arguments. Is there a way to post just the clips of Nikki and JP?

It maybe because I have sister in laws from Serbia/Germany and from Columbia and having grown up around many Cubans, now I work with many Chinese, Indians and Eqyptians, but cultural differences in love and relationships are very real.

So to me, I understand JPG a little bit better. I am not saying his calling Nikki his second daughter wasn't insensitive and I hope he gets his butt kicked about that.

But to say that love is love and expressing it as such is the same no matter what, it just isn't.

I adore Nikki, she is awesome. I do suspect that she still lives at home. I think living on your own teaches you some independence, and to me there have been times I have wondered if she is still at her parents home.

Little things like the procrastinating. My husband thought I was being disrespectful to him and for me I just am not a morning person and take time to get going. We both had to learn that we had to approach this differently, but it really pissed him off and for me I thought he was just being a jerk about it. We eventually talked about it and learned to both be more patient. He has adjusted to give me time and I try to be more sensitive to time. So I understood that one completely, my husband never called me his daughter, but he told me I was being selfish, so I get how annoying it is to JPG and why Nikki like me might not get it.

I am concerned that Nikki feels that she can't speak up to him. Most Latina women I know have no problem telling their man when he is being a jerk and standing up for themselves. I am not making excuses for JPG, but he may not realize that she has those issues. I am waiting to see how he responds to hearing it and if he tries to adapt or just ignores Nikki.

My father was born in Europe and lived there until his late teens. English wasn't even his first language. He grew up speaking Italian and Portuguese. I can't say that his cultural background really had much of an influence on being loving towards my mother and being in love with her. He met my mom here, fell in love with her and decided to stay here.

I know there are cultural differences in relationships, but in regards to love, it is an emotion. You feel it. Everyone is different. With one of my boyfriends, it didn't take me that long to state that I loved him, which was probably because I was younger and naive. It took me quite a while to fully feel like I was in love with my boyfriend that I have now.
You either feel it or you don't. It can happen quickly or it can take a while. Nothing should ever be forced, so it's certainly a good thing that he hasn't lied to her and that he hasn't told her he loved her yet. It's something you feel. Using the excuse over and over that he can't say it yet because love in his culture is different so it takes more time is just ridiculous to me. You love someone or you don't. Being raised in another country or culture shouldn't be the sole reason why you're not in love with someone. Your heart and mind feel it or it doesn't. It seems like at some point in the season Nikki feels the same way and states that to him.

Ash2214 wrote:My father was born in Europe and lived there until his late teens. English wasn't even his first language. He grew up speaking Italian and Portuguese. I can't say that his cultural background really had much of an influence on being loving towards my mother and being in love with her. He met my mom here, fell in love with her and decided to stay here.

I know there are cultural differences in relationships, but in regards to love, it is an emotion. You feel it. Everyone is different. With one of my boyfriends, it didn't take me that long to state that I loved him, which was probably because I was younger and naive. It took me quite a while to fully feel like I was in love with my boyfriend that I have now.
You either feel it or you don't. It can happen quickly or it can take a while. Nothing should ever be forced, so it's certainly a good thing that he hasn't lied to her and that he hasn't told her he loved her yet. It's something you feel. Using the excuse over and over that he can't say it yet because love in his culture is different so it takes more time is just ridiculous to me. You love someone or you don't. Being raised in another country or culture shouldn't be the sole reason why you're not in love with someone. Your heart and mind feel it or it doesn't. It seems like at some point in the season Nikki feels the same way and states that to him.

Yeah, I agree. It's funny that people in their fan forum were saying that he actually did say it when he said "te quiero" (or was it "te amo"?), when he admitted on the show that he hasn't said it yet because he wouldn't "die if she left".

For the record, I come from an Indian background, where almost NO ONE ever says "I love you"; I've never heard my parents say it to each other and I've never heard them say it to me. I never felt like it was needed, but I could just feel their love (and I think most people in Indian culture feel that way). So, I believe that its more that Nikki probably doesn't FEEL his love than the fact she needs to hear it. And, honestly, if you don't feel it in 6 months going through the experiences that they did, I don't think it's ever going to happen.

chasingpavements wrote:

Ash2214 wrote:My father was born in Europe and lived there until his late teens. English wasn't even his first language. He grew up speaking Italian and Portuguese. I can't say that his cultural background really had much of an influence on being loving towards my mother and being in love with her. He met my mom here, fell in love with her and decided to stay here.

I know there are cultural differences in relationships, but in regards to love, it is an emotion. You feel it. Everyone is different. With one of my boyfriends, it didn't take me that long to state that I loved him, which was probably because I was younger and naive. It took me quite a while to fully feel like I was in love with my boyfriend that I have now.
You either feel it or you don't. It can happen quickly or it can take a while. Nothing should ever be forced, so it's certainly a good thing that he hasn't lied to her and that he hasn't told her he loved her yet. It's something you feel. Using the excuse over and over that he can't say it yet because love in his culture is different so it takes more time is just ridiculous to me. You love someone or you don't. Being raised in another country or culture shouldn't be the sole reason why you're not in love with someone. Your heart and mind feel it or it doesn't. It seems like at some point in the season Nikki feels the same way and states that to him.

Yeah, I agree. It's funny that people in their fan forum were saying that he actually did say it when he said "te quiero" (or was it "te amo"?), when he admitted on the show that he hasn't said it yet because he wouldn't "die if she left".

For the record, I come from an Indian background, where almost NO ONE ever says "I love you"; I've never heard my parents say it to each other and I've never heard them say it to me. I never felt like it was needed, but I could just feel their love (and I think most people in Indian culture feel that way). So, I believe that its more that Nikki probably doesn't FEEL his love than the fact she needs to hear it. And, honestly, if you don't feel it in 6 months going through the experiences that they did, I don't think it's ever going to happen.

Interesting.. Why do you think the Indian culture does not say ILU?

So apparently Nikki deleted her Twitter because she didn't want to deal with negative comments that were to come once CT started..? Uh well she should have known that was going to happen when she signed up for the show. The negativity will always be around even when the show ends.

umngirl wrote:

Alanna wrote:I've never watched this show before, it was pretty interesting!

Treach and Cicely, I think their relationship is fine This sounds that it's just the way they communicate and show each other love. I don't see anything changing. I'm of ye little faith on Dr. Jen I guess.

The Jersey Shore couple seem perfectly happy and fine and we know they're getting engaged. I'm pretty sure they're doing this for the money.

Evel Dick and Stephanie, why is she trying to get back together with him? Everyone can tell she can do infinitely better so either it's for the money, fame, or she has some super low self-esteem.

Nikki and JPG is just same ole same ole, as expected. JPG seems to be the most infuriating person and I just cannot imagine trying to reason with him. He has no desire to listen to Nikki or any woman that we've seen him with either, everything gets chalked up to her being a "crazy, insecure woman," his "culture," or the ever abused scapegoat reason of him being a daddy. When he interacts with Nikki or another woman, I see his attitude that he is right, Nikki is wrong and needs to stop whining because trying to express independent thought is just her being a 15 year old brat. Nikki puts up with this because...why, I don't know actually. Once they break-up, I think this will be one of those relationships she looks back on, smacks her forehead, and goes, "I put up with THAT and on TV?!?"

IMO he's doing this for the money also and thinks their relationship is fine, and if Nikki would just quit speaking so dang much and shut up, everything would be perfect for him.

MVP comment definitely goes to JPG for thinking Treach's name is Trash. Amazing.

JuanPa is just one excuse after another. He relies heavily on using them to explain his behavior, oh it's the cultural differences. Oh it's the fact that Nikki is immature. Oh it's because he has a daughter. He should just try the truth. He doesn't love her and probably never will. He likes the attention and money he got from the show. JuanPa needs to do some growing up and soul-searching before he will ever be ready to marry someone. And Nikki needs to get out of this relationship because she deserves to be treated better and would actually like to get married which JuanPa doesn't seem interested in at all.

By golly!! I believe you have cracked the uncrackable code that has been haunting America since this couple got started- JPG hasn't said ily to Nikki because he, in fact, does not love Nikki. So novel yet so simple and true. Can you take over for Dr. Jenn now??

For me I was/am a supporting of Juan/Nikki but the first episode I am just not feeling Juan P, how embarrassing it is for Nikki for him to sit up there and say that love to him would be he would die if someone left him, but he is not there with Nikki, he would be sad but......  I would have packed up my bags and left right then and there and like Ash said love is an emotion, so I just don't know...

Linds911 wrote:So apparently Nikki deleted her Twitter because she didn't want to deal with negative comments that were to come once CT started..? Uh well she should have known that was going to happen when she signed up for the show. The negativity will always be around even when the show ends.

She has been struggling with the hateful tweets ever since The Bachelor aired. I don’t think anyone can tell how they would react to that before they experience it first-hand.
I guess she came to a point where it wasn’t worth it anymore.

I say good for her! You don’t have to be on Twitter to live a happy life.

You have to wonder if he didn't twist her arm to do this show for the money. He never considers if his approach honors Nikki or humiliates her. His actions don't demonstrate love. I wasn't bothered that he didn't say I love you or that he wanted to stick it to TPTB, but Nikki was not considered. He could have said how amazing and lucky he feels to have met her, that's she beautiful, caring, whatever, he's excited to learn more about her.. something to make sure she was honored. That should have been his first priority. It doesn't seem like things have improved. She is in a relationship with a narcissist. It's never going to be logical. She's going to drive herself crazy and have to continue to lower her expectations to stay in the relationship. He has her questioning whether her own needs are even valid.