Bachelor In Paradise - Episode 1 August 4 2014 - General Discussion - *Spoilers*

chloep wrote:Yes. Sarah was/is very well liked by the rest of the cast. I've been told she was pretty much the only reason  they left Ashlee alone.... (well, more like let her cray-cray behavior slide...mostly..)

MiaHawk wrote:

gatorfan1987 wrote:i guess i am in the minority with sarah because she is my favorite girl so far. I can relate to her so much since we both feel the same way. her thoughts that guys won't like her because of her missing arm and me thinking guys won't like me since I'm a so short (I'm 4'9). She is gorgeous and if guys can't see past the arm than that is their problem. I can relate to her negative thoughts since i am the same exact way.

Gatorfan, here is my opinion on what I see from Sarah.  

I assume that some of Sarah's self consciousness is due to her missing an arm.  Growing up with an obvious physical difference, I'm sure, has a a huge impact on Sarah's life,  I'm sure it has affected her self image and self confidence. There are many people who can relate to that sort of experience.  It might be due to height, weight, hair color, birth marks, etc etc.  While it is easy for somebody else to make comments like: "it doesn't matter", "just stay positive", or "the right person will see past that to the true you", we all know that our actual experiences shape that inner voice inside of heads.  That voice makes us doubt our worthiness or desirability.  Every time we feel rejection or are made to feel "different" or "less than" we are affected by it.  That voice grows louder and more powerful.  I don't fault Sarah or anyone else for struggling with that sort of thing.  I don't fault Sarah for feeling like the shy girl, the outsider, or the unpopular one.  And whether or not those descriptions are true or not, those are her self perceptions.

Now, IMO, being shy is not a bad thing, but it can make certain social situations more challenging.  It is something that can be worked at, and the older she becomes and the more life experiences she gets under her belt, the more easily she will handle certain social situations. If it's true shyness.  If it's low self esteem, then she will need to find a way to work on that, because it will continue to hold her back.  Being an outsider or different from the others can be an initial barrier to what I refer to as the Stage 1 of getting to know new people.  People naturally gravitate towards people with whom they have things in common.  It's easier.  It's lazier.  Sarah's arm may be a perceived difference to some, but I bet a lot more people see right past that more quickly than she thinks.  Those people then move on to Stage 2, getting to know her on a personality level.  Sarah may not feel like one of the popular girls, but most of the time I find that "popular" is just another word for "hot mess".  I've never aspired to be a hot mess.  So, I think it's stupid to aspire to be popular based on your behavior.  Have people like you for who you really are, on an individual basis, that's what's rewarding in life.

What I find annoying about Sarah are her voice and her attitude.  Her voice is God-given, but it is nasally and whiny.  Not the easiest thing to listen to.  But, that's small potatoes compared to her attitude.  I do not like somebody who feels like she doesn't get a fair chance in life because she is pre-judged but feels it is okay to go ahead and make mean or hurtful comments about others.  She wasn't only mean, but she was also dishonest, in her remarks about Lacy in the ocean.  Lacy was not skinny dipping. (There was another thing she said, but I can't remember it right now).  And if I am not mistaken (and if I am mistaken somebody will immediately correct me), Sarah was somebody who partook in SM talk about Drew K's sexual persuasion during Des' season.  I thought that was really insensitive.  So, it's not Sarah's shyness or timidness (perceived to be due to her missing arm) that I do not care for, it is actually part of her personality and attitude that I do not appreciate.  Is she a terrible person?  No, not terrible.  Is she a bad person? No, not bad.  Is she annoying or misguided at times?  Yeah, I think so.  JMHO.        

pavalygurl wrote:

MiaHawk wrote:

gatorfan1987 wrote:i guess i am in the minority with sarah because she is my favorite girl so far. I can relate to her so much since we both feel the same way. her thoughts that guys won't like her because of her missing arm and me thinking guys won't like me since I'm a so short (I'm 4'9). She is gorgeous and if guys can't see past the arm than that is their problem. I can relate to her negative thoughts since i am the same exact way.

Gatorfan, here is my opinion on what I see from Sarah.  

I assume that some of Sarah's self consciousness is due to her missing an arm.  Growing up with an obvious physical difference, I'm sure, has a a huge impact on Sarah's life,  I'm sure it has affected her self image and self confidence. There are many people who can relate to that sort of experience.  It might be due to height, weight, hair color, birth marks, etc etc.  While it is easy for somebody else to make comments like: "it doesn't matter", "just stay positive", or "the right person will see past that to the true you", we all know that our actual experiences shape that inner voice inside of heads.  That voice makes us doubt our worthiness or desirability.  Every time we feel rejection or are made to feel "different" or "less than" we are affected by it.  That voice grows louder and more powerful.  I don't fault Sarah or anyone else for struggling with that sort of thing.  I don't fault Sarah for feeling like the shy girl, the outsider, or the unpopular one.  And whether or not those descriptions are true or not, those are her self perceptions.

Now, IMO, being shy is not a bad thing, but it can make certain social situations more challenging.  It is something that can be worked at, and the older she becomes and the more life experiences she gets under her belt, the more easily she will handle certain social situations. If it's true shyness.  If it's low self esteem, then she will need to find a way to work on that, because it will continue to hold her back.  Being an outsider or different from the others can be an initial barrier to what I refer to as the Stage 1 of getting to know new people.  People naturally gravitate towards people with whom they have things in common.  It's easier.  It's lazier.  Sarah's arm may be a perceived difference to some, but I bet a lot more people see right past that more quickly than she thinks.  Those people then move on to Stage 2, getting to know her on a personality level.  Sarah may not feel like one of the popular girls, but most of the time I find that "popular" is just another word for "hot mess".  I've never aspired to be a hot mess.  So, I think it's stupid to aspire to be popular based on your behavior.  Have people like you for who you really are, on an individual basis, that's what's rewarding in life.

What I find annoying about Sarah are her voice and her attitude.  Her voice is God-given, but it is nasally and whiny.  Not the easiest thing to listen to.  But, that's small potatoes compared to her attitude.  I do not like somebody who feels like she doesn't get a fair chance in life because she is pre-judged but feels it is okay to go ahead and make mean or hurtful comments about others.  She wasn't only mean, but she was also dishonest, in her remarks about Lacy in the ocean.  Lacy was not skinny dipping. (There was another thing she said, but I can't remember it right now).  And if I am not mistaken (and if I am mistaken somebody will immediately correct me), Sarah was somebody who partook in SM talk about Drew K's sexual persuasion during Des' season.  I thought that was really insensitive.  So, it's not Sarah's shyness or timidness (perceived to be due to her missing arm) that I do not care for, it is actually part of her personality and attitude that I do not appreciate.  Is she a terrible person?  No, not terrible.  Is she a bad person? No, not bad.  Is she annoying or misguided at times?  Yeah, I think so.  JMHO.        

Mia:  Once again you are inside my head.  This is my exact feeling towards Sarah.  I find her to be stunningly beautiful.  I think she can be funny, charming and a lot of other very positive attributes.   She lost me with the tweets towards Drew.  I don't know if she was trying to be part of the popular kids or what, but it was mean and unnecessary.   Let's see how she does this time when she goes on a date with Dylan.  

Rolly wrote:  

happygirl77us wrote:So Marcus and Lacy are now engaged? They seem like polar opposites

I don't think the Marcus/Lacy connection is a match made in heaven. It's too soon after being in love with Andi to become engaged....to anyone.  I think Marcus is really a catch and deserves a sweet girl. I'm not all that crazy about Lacy in this episode. She seems kind of ditzy and was kind of mean to Robert. Love looking at Marcus....does it get any hotter?... but I wish he hadn't done this show.

relaxing wrote:

Rolly wrote:  

happygirl77us wrote:So Marcus and Lacy are now engaged? They seem like polar opposites

I don't think the Marcus/Lacy connection is a match made in heaven. It's too soon after being in love with Andi to become engaged....to anyone.  I think Marcus is really a catch and deserves a sweet girl. I'm not all that crazy about Lacy in this episode. She seems kind of ditzy and was kind of mean to Robert. Love looking at Marcus....does it get any hotter?... but I wish he hadn't done this show.

I'm glad Marcus is on, but I sure didn't get wowed by any great chemistry or warm fuzzies from him with Lacy this episode.  I loved him though being there, his sweet boyish smile, his hot everything else and his taking charge of the situation at the RC,  then telling her he wanted to clearly show his interest.  I'll have to wait to see if I start to like her/them together.  Right now I'm still all about Marcus, not Marcus and Lacy.

Maggenzm wrote:I am really liking the new Clare ( not chasing guys, but letting guys chase her). IMO, she is so gorgeous, she needs to relax and enjoy the journey. She was not my favorite during JPG, but I am really rooting for her this time.

Beeleever wrote:

relaxing wrote:

Rolly wrote:  



I don't think the Marcus/Lacy connection is a match made in heaven. It's too soon after being in love with Andi to become engaged....to anyone.  I think Marcus is really a catch and deserves a sweet girl. I'm not all that crazy about Lacy in this episode. She seems kind of ditzy and was kind of mean to Robert. Love looking at Marcus....does it get any hotter?... but I wish he hadn't done this show.

I'm glad Marcus is on, but I sure didn't get wowed by any great chemistry or warm fuzzies from him with Lacy this episode.  I loved him though being there, his sweet boyish smile, his hot everything else and his taking charge of the situation at the RC,  then telling her he wanted to clearly show his interest.  I'll have to wait to see if I start to like her/them together.  Right now I'm still all about Marcus, not Marcus and Lacy.

I sort of feel the same, relaxing. I'm not sure Lacy is really in this for love. I'm afraid Marcus might get his heart broken again. I sure hope not and I'm going to try to keep an open mind.

relaxing wrote:

Rolly wrote:  

happygirl77us wrote:So Marcus and Lacy are now engaged? They seem like polar opposites

I don't think the Marcus/Lacy connection is a match made in heaven. It's too soon after being in love with Andi to become engaged....to anyone.  I think Marcus is really a catch and deserves a sweet girl. I'm not all that crazy about Lacy in this episode. She seems kind of ditzy and was kind of mean to Robert. Love looking at Marcus....does it get any hotter?... but I wish he hadn't done this show.

I'm glad Marcus is on, but I sure didn't get wowed by any great chemistry or warm fuzzies from him with Lacy this episode.  I loved him though being there, his sweet boyish smile, his hot everything else and his taking charge of the situation at the RC,  then telling her he wanted to clearly show his interest.  I'll have to wait to see if I start to like her/them together.  Right now I'm still all about Marcus, not Marcus and Lacy.

stuckinsc wrote:

Maggenzm wrote:I am really liking the new Clare ( not chasing guys, but letting guys chase her). IMO, she is so gorgeous, she needs to relax and enjoy the journey. She was not my favorite during JPG, but I am really rooting for her this time.

I agree.  I was pleasantly surprised by Clare this week.  I hope it continues.  This is why I try to remain open to these people even if they have annoyed me in the past.