Bachelorette 10 - Andi Dorfman - Episode 10 - MTP-LCD-FRC- July 28/14 **NO SPOILERS**

Thanks sbolduc!   

LibbyBell wrote:
IMO--- Andi took full advantage of the opportunity presented with the show. When she went on dates, she went on dates and did not think about the other guys. I think that she was able to segment her relationships with each individual guy better than any b’ette has in the past. I DO think that she had true feelings for Nick. I think that it finally hit her that after LCDs, she was going to have to start putting on the brakes and break up with one of these guys. This being said,  all season I have seen the most connection with Josh but I do think that when she had to compare the 2 loves, she had to admit that her love for Josh was stronger and more confident than her love was for Nick.

Libby, I think you have done a great job of summarizing what I saw as well. Her feelings for Nick were legit. She was able to keep this relationship compartmentalized from her relationship with Josh...really amazing if you think about that. I saw a greater connection with Josh growing from Belgium on, but she hadn't written off Nick at that point. As she got to the end and made her decision, then and only then did she pull back from Nick. To me it was evident all throughout the MTP and LCD that Nick wasn't the one.

Thanks for taking the time to write this up!  

Litta, great minds think alike!
I also think the reason Andi wanted to treat each relationship as "the" relationship was her experience with JPG. I think she felt that he picked Nikki very early on and didn't give his F3 a real shot. I think she felt marginalized and was bound and determined to make her final choice at the end. At the same time, she could also look back and be able to say "the first time I saw you..." and technically be able to say it was truth. Also, she would still be able to say to Nick I only decided this morning. I didn't realize she was treating each relationship this way until the end. I guess it is the way it should always be but I've never seen a lead be able to compartmentalize quite that well!

Thanks for sharing Libby. It was great posting with you this season and who knows maybe I'll be around next season too.

I hope so too! It is definitely more fun with several posters staying unspoiled! If you do choose to be spoiled maybe you can give me some conversation starters to keep a dialogue going!

I'm curious about last year's unspoiled thread. I wasn't aware of this forum then, and I felt so lonely rooting for Chris S because on ABC's board everyone was talking about Brooks and I couldn't see that at all. So my question to you who were unspoiled last season, what were your conclusion then? Sorry that I ask this in a JODI thread, but I don't know where to ask this other than here.

There weren't many unspoiled last season. I was pretty lonely in the thread that is why I enjoyed thus season!
I definitely saw that Des was attracted to both Brooks and Chris but I felt that something was off with her relationship with Brooks. I was not surprised that she picked Chris and did not feel he was a default.   

LibbyBell wrote:There weren't many unspoiled last season. I was pretty lonely in the thread that is why I enjoyed thus season!
I definitely saw that Des was attracted to both Brooks and Chris but I felt that something was off with her relationship with Brooks. I was not surprised that she picked Chris and did not feel he was a default.   

Thank you for your answer. I really enjoyed last season although I felt alone in my observations. I always notice the body language and it wasn't in sync with Des and Brooks. On the other hand Des and Chris were very much in sync. I have enjoyed this season too and though I never posted in the spoiler free thread I loved to read all your observations and conclusions. Impressive work!

LibbyBell wrote:I didn't realize she was treating each relationship this way until the end. I guess it is the way it should always be but I've never seen a lead be able to compartmentalize quite that well!

Ever since Jason's season when he essentially spilled the beans on how the show manipulates the lead, I've heard the same litany repeated on nearly all seasons; most recently this one. Someone asked Chris when he knew that Andi would pick Josh, and his answer was that he could see this ending as far back as Italy. They were always together and always seeking each other out and just having fun. CH said they had to keep reminding Andi that the process works if you let it and that she should treat each relationship independent from the other and explore openly where each relationship could lead - just in case the one she most favored got cold feet and backed out she would not have let a golden opportunity go to waste. This is exactly the advice they gave Jason and some other leads that have described it (like Sean who tried to do it also). It's one of those things that sounds like the show has the lead's best interest at heart but that's really not true; they are trying to motivate the lead to act real with everyone so that - legitimately - more than one contestant has good reason to believe they are "the one". In other words, it's how they manipulate the lead to lead others on without the lead balking at doing that - the lead thinks they are just making the best of a golden opportunity.

In Andi's case I suspect they also used the "threat" that "you don't want to be the first bachelorette that doesn't get proposed to".

Seriously I don't mean to be too cynical but the producers of this show will stoop to any lows to put on a TV show. Almost nothing is beneath their limits.

All this said, Andi really did put forth her best effort to take this "advice" to heart and make the best of her golden opportunity; as good as any lead I've ever seen and better than most. She didn't see this as manipulation because they are that good at doing it.

I always cut the lead some slack, whether I care for the lead or not, because I know that (unlike the contestants) they are hired for $$$ to do a job and part of that job means doing and saying things that someone somewhere is going to say is leading people on. And it is, but that's the job and a lot of the leads really do try to do the best they can, with varying degrees of success. I also think the leads who are most serious about finding love try harder to do a good job of exploring what their life could be like with more than one contestant.

I think Andi did her best to explore the possibility of a relationship with Nick and for that matter several other of her guys. I think she found something in each of them that could be a potential future and at some point had to make a choice. While Nick accused Andi of making the safe choice I think she did anything but that. She made a choice with the greatest risk of getting hurt. Really hurt.

I think at this point in time she is overjoyed that she took that risk.

LibbyBell wrote:I hope so too! It is definitely more fun with several posters staying unspoiled! If you do choose to be spoiled maybe you can give me some conversation starters to keep a dialogue going!

If I decide to go spoiled I will definitely stop by and read everyones thoughts as well as provide conversation starters.

Lucas15 wrote:

LibbyBell wrote:I didn't realize she was treating each relationship this way until the end. I guess it is the way it should always be but I've never seen a lead be able to compartmentalize quite that well!

Ever since Jason's season when he essentially spilled the beans on how the show manipulates the lead, I've heard the same litany repeated on nearly all seasons; most recently this one. Someone asked Chris when he knew that Andi would pick Josh, and his answer was that he could see this ending as far back as Italy. They were always together and always seeking each other out and just having fun. CH said they had to keep reminding Andi that the process works if you let it and that she should treat each relationship independent from the other and explore openly where each relationship could lead - just in case the one she most favored got cold feet and backed out she would not have let a golden opportunity go to waste. This is exactly the advice they gave Jason and some other leads that have described it (like Sean who tried to do it also). It's one of those things that sounds like the show has the lead's best interest at heart but that's really not true; they are trying to motivate the lead to act real with everyone so that - legitimately - more than one contestant has good reason to believe they are "the one". In other words, it's how they manipulate the lead to lead others on without the lead balking at doing that - the lead thinks they are just making the best of a golden opportunity.

In Andi's case I suspect they also used the "threat" that "you don't want to be the first bachelorette that doesn't get proposed to".

Seriously I don't mean to be too cynical but the producers of this show will stoop to any lows to put on a TV show. Almost nothing is beneath their limits.

All this said, Andi really did put forth her best effort to take this "advice" to heart and make the best of her golden opportunity; as good as any lead I've ever seen and better than most. She didn't see this as manipulation because they are that good at doing it.

I always cut the lead some slack, whether I care for the lead or not, because I know that (unlike the contestants) they are hired for $$$ to do a job and part of that job means doing and saying things that someone somewhere is going to say is leading people on. And it is, but that's the job and a lot of the leads really do try to do the best they can, with varying degrees of success. I also think the leads who are most serious about finding love try harder to do a good job of exploring what their life could be like with more than one contestant.

I think Andi did her best to explore the possibility of a relationship with Nick and for that matter several other of her guys. I think she found something in each of them that could be a potential future and at some point had to make a choice. While Nick accused Andi of making the safe choice I think she did anything but that. She made a choice with the greatest risk of getting hurt. Really hurt.

I think at this point in time she is overjoyed that she took that risk.

I agree with your post.
The producers almost "brainwash" the contestants. I'm convinced they told Nick that he was the only one Andi wanted and that boosted his confidence. They tell a story and that involves high editing, voiceovers, spliced sentences and scripted phrases. The lead has a hard work going on constant dates with different people, traveling and getting very little sleep. It must be very hard to focus, especially in the beginning with so many different men.

Andi didn't see what the guys said in their ITMs so she had only her gut feelings to rely on and what her heart felt. She really wanted it to work with Josh, but she was scared that he would leave her at some point. (As other contestants have done to previous bachelorettes) Every relationship that was formed only had a very limited amount of time to develop and I think she did a great job to narrow them down. She explored her feelings in every relationship and that made her sure of her feelings for Josh although they had only spent like 40 hours together.

I'm happy they have had so much time together post show, before coming out in the real world. They seem to be almost glued to each other now. So much love!

Glow worm wrote:

Lucas15 wrote:

LibbyBell wrote:I didn't realize she was treating each relationship this way until the end. I guess it is the way it should always be but I've never seen a lead be able to compartmentalize quite that well!

Ever since Jason's season when he essentially spilled the beans on how the show manipulates the lead, I've heard the same litany repeated on nearly all seasons; most recently this one. Someone asked Chris when he knew that Andi would pick Josh, and his answer was that he could see this ending as far back as Italy. They were always together and always seeking each other out and just having fun. CH said they had to keep reminding Andi that the process works if you let it and that she should treat each relationship independent from the other and explore openly where each relationship could lead - just in case the one she most favored got cold feet and backed out she would not have let a golden opportunity go to waste. This is exactly the advice they gave Jason and some other leads that have described it (like Sean who tried to do it also). It's one of those things that sounds like the show has the lead's best interest at heart but that's really not true; they are trying to motivate the lead to act real with everyone so that - legitimately - more than one contestant has good reason to believe they are "the one". In other words, it's how they manipulate the lead to lead others on without the lead balking at doing that - the lead thinks they are just making the best of a golden opportunity.

In Andi's case I suspect they also used the "threat" that "you don't want to be the first bachelorette that doesn't get proposed to".

Seriously I don't mean to be too cynical but the producers of this show will stoop to any lows to put on a TV show. Almost nothing is beneath their limits.

All this said, Andi really did put forth her best effort to take this "advice" to heart and make the best of her golden opportunity; as good as any lead I've ever seen and better than most. She didn't see this as manipulation because they are that good at doing it.

I always cut the lead some slack, whether I care for the lead or not, because I know that (unlike the contestants) they are hired for $$$ to do a job and part of that job means doing and saying things that someone somewhere is going to say is leading people on. And it is, but that's the job and a lot of the leads really do try to do the best they can, with varying degrees of success. I also think the leads who are most serious about finding love try harder to do a good job of exploring what their life could be like with more than one contestant.

I think Andi did her best to explore the possibility of a relationship with Nick and for that matter several other of her guys. I think she found something in each of them that could be a potential future and at some point had to make a choice. While Nick accused Andi of making the safe choice I think she did anything but that. She made a choice with the greatest risk of getting hurt. Really hurt.

I think at this point in time she is overjoyed that she took that risk.

I agree with your post.
The producers almost "brainwash" the contestants. I'm convinced they told Nick that he was the only one Andi wanted and that boosted his confidence. They tell a story and that involves high editing, voiceovers, spliced sentences and scripted phrases. The lead has a hard work going on constant dates with different people, traveling and getting very little sleep. It must be very hard to focus, especially in the beginning with so many different men.

Andi didn't see what the guys said in their ITMs so she had only her gut feelings to rely on and what her heart felt. She really wanted it to work with Josh, but she was scared that he would leave her at some point. (As other contestants have done to previous bachelorettes) Every relationship that was formed only had a very limited amount of time to develop and I think she did a great job to narrow them down. She explored her feelings in every relationship and that made her sure of her feelings for Josh although they had only spent like 40 hours together.

I'm happy they have had so much time together post show, before coming out in the real world. They seem to be almost glued to each other now. So much love!

As much as TPTB are telling Nick he is F1, they are likely feeding Andi the information to make her think Josh could bolt (like Brooks, Frank and Bentley as well as Andi herself although she wasn't going to be F1).  He would put her at ease during their date and then someone (TPTB) would get in her ear and make her unsure again.  He would then need to work on the "too good to be true" all over again.  As she said she made him work for it.  As they said to each other after the proposal after he carried her away "Thank you for sticking with me."