Re: Nick Viall Bachelorette 10 - *Fan Forum* - *Spoilers* - Discussion - Thread #4

[CHO]

I imagine Andi has some way of showing her parents which guy she is in love with. Some gesture - or something like if she touches his knee or whatever.

[happygolucky]

From the SC it looks like both Josh and Nick have LCDs..... so my question is why did it take so long for Andi to pick Nick? Also, what do you think the deciding factor was in helping her come to her decision?  

I don't know why, I don't want to think that her decision was taken to make her parents happy, because I really hope, she made the best choice for herself, whatever the road she decided to walk on.
Since I still have some faith, that the deep connection I see with Nick was the reason for her choosing him ... there is no other explanation than simply, there is love. True love. So, considering the option that she chose Nick:
Why the indecision for so long (if there truly was)? I believe Andi made some choices during this journey that could be questionable (don't want to say she was wrong, especially if I continue believing that's what brought her closer to Nick). The way I see it, putting myself in her shoes, speaking from my own experience, she might have put Josh on the pedestal. He was perfect from the beginning. Handsome, interesting, enjoyable (funny), intelligent, young, wants family, serious and loyal, who would treat her good, give her all the attention she needs and deserves. She doesn't see any flaw in him.
Therefor for her is hard to place herself by his side ... and from there the constant question "is it too good to be true?".
It's not that he is better looking than anyone else, or that he makes her feel more special than some other guy. He is just perfect in her mind.
- Because she created the picture of him in her head, instead of getting to know him from the beginning, step by step, for who he is. (and I'm not saying that he isn't all the above and I'm not saying it's Josh's fault what I'm saying is that she made a choice that often blocked her from getting to know Josh more, truly in depth, in realness and without preconceptions)
And there is a chance, that the picture that she has of him doesn't necessarily coincide with the reality of facts.
The fact which is, that we all have our own crosses, faults, flaws and that you can share your life with someone only once you fully accept them, that you are comfortable living with them, despite occasionally butting heads, despite that they might behave in such a way that would irritate you (like leaving dirty socks on the floor), but you won't and can't blame them, only learn how to live with them. (and I'm not talking about the circumstances and the environment, as for example their families and obligations they might have with them)
So for that, it takes longer for a woman to understand&separate a real feeling for an idea of a man and a feeling for a man himself.
I think I've seen her many times craving and hoping that Josh would do certain things (that eventually came, but not at the time she wanted/needed and only after she meticulously tried to get him do something, open up, say something), and remaining dissatisfied (Italian cry out for the fairytale) ... without giving it any more thought that maybe, just maybe he isn't the guy who will give her what she needs, because he isn't the guy she made him up to be. (and maybe he is even better, but she doesn't see him for his all) Without asking herself real hard questions and accept the answer. Instead I've seen her sweep certain problems that bothered her "under the rug", dismissing them as not so serious or important, because they are just incidental. (while, to give you an example, she put much more thought and consideration, asked questions and tried to get to the bottom of the problem about Nick's behavior, past relationships, ...)
I hope you don't mind I wrote so much about Andi (since I don't really write my opinion of Josh) ... in the thread dedicated to Nick. But this is my interpretation what might have caused her to come to realization late. Then with a different outcome, all my theory is wrong.

[Brill]

I think Andi got that bracelet for Nick.  Now maybe Nick got it himself but I can see them out and about and she got that for him.
I was looking at the bracelet that was posted today a few posts up.  I thought of looking for what the stones might mean.  Now some of the sleuthers here might be able to come up with the other colors but this is what I found on the blue one.  Here is a portion of what I found.

Larimar - Blue Pectolite - Also Called - "Atlantis Stone" or "Dolphin Stone"

Facts:  Larimar has only been found in one location: A mountainous, relatively inaccessible area in Barahona on the island of Dominican Republic.  Larimar is currently one of the newest and the most demanded gemstones.  Its popularity is attributed to the implausible Caribbean Blue color and its rarity.  Larimar is one of the most recently discovered and rarest of gemstones in the world.

Folklore, Legend, and Healing Properties:

Its powers are believed to help us view events from different perspectives, to soften and enlighten, to heal the emotional, physical, mental and spiritual body.  

Larimar stimulates the heart, throat, third eye and crown chakras promoting inner wisdom. It represents peace and clarity, healing and love.

Larimar is reputed to be helpful for those experiencing stress and anxiety.

In the Domincan Republic it is believed that the Larimar stone has the ability to find one's sole mate.  

Larimar helps a person to communicate from the soul thus promoting the flow of expression and creative ideas yet its grounding qualities help one to make these ideas turn into reality.

Larimar tells us that life, like the skies and seas, are always changing and in chaos yet underneath this seemingly chaotic exterior is the peace of the eternal soul.  Its cool and calming color helps teach us how to change anger into a more peaceful form of feeling expression. It softens, enlightens and heals in a physical, emotional, mental and spiritual way.


Kind of interesting.  If someone can make the one sc of the colors of the bracelet come up better. I think each of those stones mean something.  When you have a bracelet made you can pick out the stones according to their meaning.  Also there are many shades of the blue that are this gem.

[jen689]

...He looks to be in good spirits but it sure would be nice to know for sure.  

I don't know Nick personally.  All of his Instagram photos and tweets are upbeat.  
He seems to be in good spirits to me   

[Cecilia]

I have the US Weekly article if anyone is interested. Don't have time to post the whole thing in the media thread but if nick fans want to know what it says I can summarize.

[jen689]

I just wanted to point out that I don't think his friend his pointing to his finger in the picture. It looks like he is flashing the peace sign.

  

[happygolucky]

^^I agree, V-sign. Peace, Victory, I have no idea what it means, but probably just coincidence that it seems like he's indicating smth.

[notarose]

Thanks NR.  So are you suggesting that Andi probably knows who she's in love with at the MTP?  And if so, why does she bring them both on LCDs?

I'm suggesting her family may not support her getting engaged if Andi doesn't clearly indicate to them (in whatever way is understood by them) that she is in love with 1 and only 1 man.  
She could bring 2 men to LCDs because that's what most Bachelorettes do.  It is part of the show's expectation and the audience's as well.  Yes, some previous Bachelorettes have done otherwise and I prefer that.  Respectful move. Letting one guy go during the LCD is also a good move by my way of thinking.  Personally, I really dislike 2 showing up at the last RC.

We will know soon what's what.  Not many sleeps left  

thanks NR.  I only ask because Des let Drew go before MTA; Allie and Emily let their guys go on LCD... yet we see Andi going on LCDs with both guys... so do you think she's legitimately torn... or going through the motions for TPTB?

MAYBEs

If she is engaged, she went through the motions; if she didn't get engaged then she was legitimately torn between two guys (not in love but in the process of falling in love with both)  OR needed more time to distance her real choice from the show expectations to make an engagement unsullied by previous events OR didn't get to an "in love" point with either (that could happen).

CH said in an interview at the beginning of the season that Andi was a very good actor.  That was weird.  He's never said that before.  That statement basically pulls the curtain back and reiterates that a lot of what we see each season is for show. Epi 4: Eric leaving scene was all about how it's ok for Andi to act with other guys but he didn't want her to put on any act with him. That was an important message and I think the reason why they showed the scene.

[happygolucky]

Oh yeah, Andi is really good "actress". That's why she is impeccable in her duty as a Bachelorette. She is perfectly executing the plan and the game. So no wonder she doesn't like to view herself as a prize, because she is the one playing and the guy is her prize.

[SueSt]

From the SC it looks like both Josh and Nick have LCDs..... so my question is why did it take so long for Andi to pick Nick? Also, what do you think the deciding factor was in helping her come to her decision?  

I don't know why, I don't want to think that her decision was taken to make her parents happy, because I really hope, she made the best choice for herself, whatever the road she decided to walk on.
Since I still have some faith, that the deep connection I see with Nick was the reason for her choosing him ... there is no other explanation than simply, there is love. True love. So, considering the option that she chose Nick:
Why the indecision for so long (if there truly was)? I believe Andi made some choices during this journey that could be questionable (don't want to say she was wrong, especially if I continue believing that's what brought her closer to Nick). The way I see it, putting myself in her shoes, speaking from my own experience, she might have put Josh on the pedestal. He was perfect from the beginning. Handsome, interesting, enjoyable (funny), intelligent, young, wants family, serious and loyal, who would treat her good, give her all the attention she needs and deserves. She doesn't see any flaw in him.
Therefor for her is hard to place herself by his side ... and from there the constant question "is it too good to be true?".
It's not that he is better looking than anyone else, or that he makes her feel more special than some other guy. He is just perfect in her mind.
- Because she created the picture of him in her head, instead of getting to know him from the beginning, step by step, for who he is. (and I'm not saying that he isn't all the above and I'm not saying it's Josh's fault what I'm saying is that she made a choice that often blocked her from getting to know Josh more, truly in depth, in realness and without preconceptions)
And there is a chance, that the picture that she has of him doesn't necessarily coincide with the reality of facts.
The fact which is, that we all have our own crosses, faults, flaws and that you can share your life with someone only once you fully accept them, that you are comfortable living with them, despite occasionally butting heads, despite that they might behave in such a way that would irritate you (like leaving dirty socks on the floor), but you won't and can't blame them, only learn how to live with them. (and I'm not talking about the circumstances and the environment, as for example their families and obligations they might have with them)
So for that, it takes longer for a woman to understand&separate a real feeling for an idea of a man and a feeling for a man himself.
I think I've seen her many times craving and hoping that Josh would do certain things (that eventually came, but not at the time she wanted/needed and only after she meticulously tried to get him do something, open up, say something), and remaining dissatisfied (Italian cry out for the fairytale) ... without giving it any more thought that maybe, just maybe he isn't the guy who will give her what she needs, because he isn't the guy she made him up to be. (and maybe he is even better, but she doesn't see him for his all) Without asking herself real hard questions and accept the answer. Instead I've seen her sweep certain problems that bothered her "under the rug", dismissing them as not so serious or important, because they are just incidental. (while, to give you an example, she put much more thought and consideration, asked questions and tried to get to the bottom of the problem about Nick's behavior, past relationships, ...)
I hope you don't mind I wrote so much about Andi (since I don't really write my opinion of Josh) ... in the thread dedicated to Nick. But this is my interpretation what might have caused her to come to realization late. Then with a different outcome, all my theory is wrong.

Thanks so much for your very thoughtful post, Happy.

You make a lot of really great points about fantasy (Josh) and reality (Nick) and why it's hard to let go of the fantasy.

I think your posts highlight a key point for me - the very big difference in Josh/Andi vs. Nick/Andi communication pairings...

With Josh it's a trust me approach; he's saying I'm being real - trust me. He gets angry (see the group date in Italy) when she doesn’t trust him. And I believe him that he is being real; however, this does not suit Andi's ADA nature - since she's said and shown herself on a number of occasions to really need to get down into the 'why' of things. (She actually said as much on Nick’s first one-on-one date!)

On the other hand, Nick is much more willing to discuss questions and concerns with Andi. In fact, in Venice Nick tells her it’s one of the things he really likes about her. Whenever she questions him, he takes the time, unemotionally and unapologetically to let her know what he's thinking and why. This always seems to put her at ease (makes sense!) and so they are building the foundation for a true intimate relationship. It’s why she says she feels safe with him; he listens to her, really hears and sees her for who she is.

Still, I guess I’m having a harder time understanding why on earth it took her so long!!!   

Thanks again!

[happygolucky]

Sharleen's blog episode 9

[SueSt]

I'm suggesting her family may not support her getting engaged if Andi doesn't clearly indicate to them (in whatever way is understood by them) that she is in love with 1 and only 1 man.  
She could bring 2 men to LCDs because that's what most Bachelorettes do.  It is part of the show's expectation and the audience's as well.  Yes, some previous Bachelorettes have done otherwise and I prefer that.  Respectful move. Letting one guy go during the LCD is also a good move by my way of thinking.  Personally, I really dislike 2 showing up at the last RC.

We will know soon what's what.  Not many sleeps left  

thanks NR.  I only ask because Des let Drew go before MTA; Allie and Emily let their guys go on LCD... yet we see Andi going on LCDs with both guys... so do you think she's legitimately torn... or going through the motions for TPTB?

MAYBEs

If she is engaged, she went through the motions; if she didn't get engaged then she was legitimately torn between two guys (not in love but in the process of falling in love with both)  OR needed more time to distance her real choice from the show expectations to make an engagement unsullied by previous events OR didn't get to an "in love" point with either (that could happen).

CH said in an interview at the beginning of the season that Andi was a very good actor.  That was weird.  He's never said that before.  That statement basically pulls the curtain back and reiterates that a lot of what we see each season is for show. Epi 4: Eric leaving scene was all about how it's ok for Andi to act with other guys but he didn't want her to put on any act with him.  That was an important message and I think the reason why they showed the scene.

Thanks for bringing up the CH interview about acting - I hadn't heard/read it. Very interesting particularly the connection to Eric, etc...
I'll have to ponder on this a bit...     
thanks

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